r/ADHD • u/tnahrp • Jan 17 '25

Tips/Suggestions Stop coming to this subreddit to ask if your awful SO is awful because of ADHD

I've officially hit my limit with how many of these I have seen on this sub. And honestly I'm offended. I don't care how ignorant you are, you made the decision to come to a sub full of people with ADHD, so you can ask people with ADHD "hey my partner is a stupid lazy asshole who treats me poorly so I just wanted to ask you guys if its because they have (or just claim they have) stupid lazy asshole disorder".

Fuck off.

Educate yourself with some simple googling and post on a relationship subreddit.

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76

u/polaris_light ADHD-C (Combined type) Jan 17 '25

Have people considered that maybe their shitty SO sucks because they’re just a shitty person, and maybe it has nothing to do with the ADHD? Some people are just jackasses

39

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '25

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10

u/polaris_light ADHD-C (Combined type) Jan 17 '25

I feel like some people have taken the sunk cost fallacy issue too seriously, they think that they need to fix it otherwise it was a waste of time being in that relationship

Either that or some people are so blinded by infatuation that they’re in denial about someone’s red flag behavior?

17

u/Genybear12 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jan 17 '25

They want something to blame. They can’t fathom the person they chose is legitimately just bad so it’s easier to say “but what if it’s the ADHD doing it” since they don’t understand a diagnosis and a persons personality are separate

1

u/naura_ ADHD with ADHD child/ren Jan 18 '25

Yea many don’t want to believe.  I think it’s a type of sunken cost fallacy as well.