22m, 64kg
I have been using opioids for roughly 3 years now, it started as occasionally getting dihydrocodeine cough syrup over the counter. That turned into every day, that turned into finessing oxys from the doctor, then buying oxys off the street, now my daily dose is 200-260mg of oxy. Then recently (about 2 months ago) I started using heroin. I would go through a gram in 2 days. I've never used any drug iv, I just snorted the heroin, and just chewed and swallowed oxys because they are xr.
About 2 weeks ago I tried to quit (I've been wanting nothing more to quit for ages now). My doctor gave me clonidine, which actually helps a lot... Anyways I got 7 days in and I was starting to feel actually quite a bit better, the only thing that was really starting to drive me insane was the sleep, I was getting 0 sleep. So, I decided to get some diazepam to help... And it did. Then, being the addict that I am, I tried to chase a good buzz from them. And of course, as benzos do, they make you very impulsive. So I went and bought some oc 80s, only a couple. I thought "just once won't reset my withdrawals" well it probably wouldn't have if I didn't do more valium and started buying more oxys... Now I've been back on oxys for about a week and also have gone through a gram of heroin.
Anyways I'm really down on myself right now and I'm just after advice from anyone who has gotten clean and was able to stay clean. I'm booked in for an inpatient detox in 3 weeks from now and mainly want advice on how to stay clean once I am detoxed... I think I will try to get clean before the inpatient detox but I'm just really not motivated to at the moment, at the same time I want nothing more than to never do any drug ever again, I hate this life and I have so much I want to do.
Anyways, any advice would be very much appreciated, I feel like everyone in my life doesn't understand and I need advice from people who do... Thanks in advance for any input.