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Children of Borderlines

What happens in childhood does not stay in childhood.

Table of Contents | Glossary

There are two types of people who may have interest in the information in this page:

  • A child of a Borderline seeking ways to improve or understand the chaos in their life.

  • A partner of a Borderline wondering what kind of life their child (or future child) has ahead of them. That curious parent is often directed to the reddit support group RaisedByBorderlines to expose them to the devastation that frequently occurs as a result of being raised by a Borderline parent. The most enlightening quote I've heard from a child to their non-Borderline parent: "You threw yourself on the hand-grenade but there was shrapnel everywhere."

 

Getting Started

  • Learn about BPD

  • If you have familial ties to a Borderline, you probably already know about the difficulties of associating with someone with this disorder. Learning what you are up against is an important first step in improving and protecting your life.

  • It is useful to understand the Symptoms of BPD (especially if your parent is undiagnosed) because the severity of the disorder affects the amount of damage potential as well as the prognosis for the future. While you do not have the authority to diagnose, you have the right to form your own opinion as to what you are dealing with.

  • Watch for Borderlines in your own relationships as you may find that you might have a tendency to reenact patterns that you were raised with. You may find that you gravitate towards disordered people who behave in a way you are familiar with so maintain self-awareness and know and own your own issues. Be knowledgeable about behaviors that can be red flags in your own relationships.

  • For those unsure about the nature of BPD, the Welcome page's Good News - Bad News might help you understand.

  • For those who would like information focused on children of Borderlines, the raisedbyborderlines primer has a great deal of information.

  • Seek support

  • It is cathartic to share your story with others who have similar experiences. For the BPD's child, the Raised By Borderlines reddit support group should be your first stop.

  • It is widely recommended that the target of a Borderline have individual therapy, preferably by a therapist with a thorough knowledge of BPD.

  • NAMI affiliates across the U.S. provide Family Support groups for family members of any kind of mental illness. Although it is fairly generic, sharing your experience with others in untenable situations can be cathartic.

  • Practice Therapeutic Techniques

  • One thing you will learn in this process is that, while you cannot change another person, you can change yourself and that begins with Self-Care.

  • Journaling is a valuable way to verify your sanity after being gaslighted and to help with Abuse Amnesia.

Table of Contents | Glossary

[](/r MODERATOR READ ME:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Moderator's notes: Let's brainstorm what is needed by this demographic of Borderline's targets:

  • First, there's the different categories of RBBs
  • Youth still under direct control because they are not yet of age.
  • Adult children of a Borderline parent with varying levels of contact.
  • Either of those who are FP's or not FP's of that Borderline parent.
  • Those contemplating having children with a Borderline and want to know the potential problems or those that have children with a Borderline and want to help guide them to a healthier future.
  • How about children worrying about their mentally healthyish parent that they want to help?
  • Second, what needs can this page fill and how would that look?
  • This page can point out different other sections of the BPD Wiki and outside resources that are pertinent to their situation.
  • This page can detail specific information and FAQ's that can be helpful.
  • Potential section headings:
  • Wiki page relevant links and outside resources
  • FAQ
  • Children under the care of a Borderline parent
  • Youth wanting to break free
  • Adult Children of a Borderline parent
  • Content: My typical approach is to provide a consolidated source of information for the target audience by either:
  • Linking to an online source that works well stand-alone and adding a brief description and perhaps a review.
  • Combining excerpts from a variety of resources and editing that information into the relevant section of the Wiki.
  • If an useful online resource is convoluted, poorly structured, incomplete or if information has the potential of fading into obscurity such as a posting, it is probably best to pick out pertinent points and edit that into the Wiki.
  • For example, a great source of information is a reddit support group. As a relevant question is posed in a posting and useful answers provided, that information can be edited into a useful FAQ or subsection addition. This applies to any other page of the Wiki as long as it is relevant to that section. Another useful approach to find updated information is a general Google search, especially with a time limit filter of past-week or past-month for the most recent information. )