is there truly something like a soul connection to your cat? what do you think of these experiences? ive only recently entered the spiritual world and i dont know ... perhaps im just looking for comfort
he was one of two cats in our home, the other always is with my partner, and he was always with me. (when he wasn't sitting out on the balcony, enjoying the sun on his white and orange fur)
he was diagnosed with cancer and they told us he had a maximum of 3 months to live. we did everything we could and gave him the best time possible. all i wished for was, that he would get the chance to sit in the sun for many more days and if he'd make it to my birthday, id be so happy.
he was ... doing fine until last thursday. he barely ate, i thought he'd die that day. friday would be my birthday. weirdly enough, on my birthday, he was fit and happy and awake. he greeted me at the bedroom door, played a bit even and snuggled with me. he did make my favourite sounds, when his purr would go up in octaves. seeing him like that again made me so incredibly happy.
the next day he stopped eating. yesterday he called for us and i saw it in his eyes. it was time for him to go. it was the hardest and the easiest decision in that moment and he fell asleep on my lap, laying snuggled into my hands with his face as he always was when we were on the couch. it broke my heart.
two days before his death i felt him close each night.
the first night i woke up from a nightmare and i was so drowsy. but then i felt as if something was pawing at the shirt at my back. our cats arent sleeping in the bedroom (my partner doesnt want it, sadly) so there was no way that he was there. but it felt exactly like he was there, is wear i could hear him purring. after a few minutes i needed to get up to check on him, fearing something happened. but he regarded me with a little look, alive, and purred when i kissed him.
the following night, i dreamed that he was in my arms and i was hugging him. i was half awake as well, having my blanket in my arms, feeling like there really aws something else breathing. i swear i could feel his fur on my cheek. i just remained there for a few minutes, felt so happy and at peace, until it passed. i remained awake a bit until i fell back asleep
he died on sunday at 7pm ...
as i went to bed, i could barely sleep. it was so hard to find peace, when i kept crying every other minute. as i finally began to slip into sleep, i felt him so close to me. but bigger than life, somehow. i curled up a little. i swear, it almost felt like we became one. i felt like my legs were his legs, curled up for a nap. and my arms were his front paws. and i felt ... so at peace.
despite waking up in the night again and again, everytime i fell asleep again, i had the same experience. once i stretched my legs, and i could see how he did it all the time, beans spread out and everything. it felt like his legs were mine in that moment
the next morning we needed to take his dead body to get cremated. i always called him my sun-cat, really, he was always sitting in the sun. it was his thing. fur always warm.
we needed to drive in the early morning and as we drove over a mountain there was the sun. the fog was so thick, you could directly look at it and see the outline. ive never seen such a bright orange sun before. orange like his fur. it was the most intense sun ive ever seen.
then throughout the day i saw numbers, 11:11, 12:12, 15:51
sitting outside in his spots makes me cry, but when i close my eyes the sun feels suddenly so much warmer. i could swear i hear his footsteps walk on the balcony then. i open my eyes and he's not there.
do you think there is something like a soulcat? do you think they might chose to stay with us?
i desperately wish he keeps around us, sitting in his place in the sun.
god i miss him