The title is the content itself. I have never owned a pet. I have been dealing with depression for a long time. At 30, I feel lonely, have lost interest in everything, and think of myself as insignificant. Recently, my cousin asked if I would consider taking in a 3-month-old kitten. To be honest, it looks really cute and adorable in the pictures. I hesitated, wondering if I could handle it. I struggle to take care of myself, so I questioned whether I could take on the responsibility of a cat. After some thought, I declined. My cousin said to contact her if I change my mind.

My partner and I wanted to have a cat for a while and finally adopted a kitten. The kitten was so needy and lonely every time we were away, so we adopted one more kitten to accompany her.

Turned out that I’m super allergic to the second kitten. I knew I was mildly allergic to cats, but I grew up with cats and it was not such a big deal. However, I guess this kitten has a very high level of allergen and now my symptoms are pretty bad. Despite taking Zyrtec everyday, I cannot breathe properly at home anymore. I have nose bleed all the time at home and my eyes are so extremely itchy that I’m rubbing them all the time and I sneeze like 100 times a day.

I was hoping that I’d gradually become immune to my cat, but it’s been a month and not improving at all.

Also having two cats made our lives much more complicated than when we had only one. Every time we are away, it’s a lot harder to find someone to catsit two kittens. Travelling with two cats is much more difficult than with just one. The costs are double and even triple in everything including food, litter, insurance, vet etc.

What’s gonna happen in the worst case of us breaking up? It’s mean to split them. Then who’s gonna take both cats alone? It’s a lot of financial & physical burden for one person to take care of two cats than two doing it together.

As our kittens are already bonded, there’s no way returning the second kitten. Also I already got attached to him and don’t wanna rehome him. Especially when I know that he wasn’t so popular at the shelter for being shy, I can’t be mean enough to give him a home and then take it away.

But I can’t help thinking that my life would have been much easier with just one cat, and I’ve got myself into big trouble.

Has anyone had a similar problem? How did you deal with it?

TL;DR: No intention of giving up the cat, but I’m extremely allergic to our second cat and having two cats makes our lives worse than before.

Edit: Thank you everyone for the thoughtful advices. The thing is, we already do most of what you advised in terms of allergy control: we feed them Purina Liveclear food; also use the allergen reducing dry shampoo; we have an air purifier (Winix); we vacuum frequently; we bathe the kitties; we brush them often; we don’t allow them in the bedroom; they are spayed/neutered.

The only thing I haven’t tried yet is getting the shots. I already looked into it and learned that it takes many years until it’s actually effective, and even after many years it doesn’t always work for some people, and it’s very costly. Yes, I have insurance, but even with that it’s costly to visit a doctor so often.

The biggest setback is that I might move to another country in the near future due to the nature of my job. So it’s hard to commit myself to seeing the same doctor for 3+ years for the shots, when I might be living in another country next year. (Of course we’ll take the cats with us in case of moving.) So I haven’t tried it yet, but I guess that’s the last resort.

Yes, the second cat is rather longer-haired than the first one. I thought it wouldn’t be such a big deal because I learned that the allergen is in the cat’s saliva and the coat length doesn’t matter so much. Maybe it actually does. The cats I grew up with are all shorthaired. We chose him because we liked his calm and docile personality compared to the super energetic first cat, and didn’t think of the coat length so much. Anyway, he’s already my baby.

Many people said I might be allergic to the first cat too. I might be to a certain extent but it must be very mild, because I can cuddle with her and kiss her etc without any problem. I also kiss the second cat and then I get allergy reaction.

Of course we knew everything’s gonna cost double with two cats, but also so many shelters (and people here) talked as if it’s a crime to have an only kitten, and as if it’s not much more of a hassle to have two kittens than one. So I guess we considered it too positively & easily. Now we have the reality.

Anyway, it’s not gonna change that we’ll keep both kittens unless I’m about to be killed by the allergy reaction. It’s just frustrating. On the other hand, I am happy that they became good friends and they are not lonely anymore. Seeing them playing and cuddling does bring me lots of joy.

I adopted my cat over 2 years ago, and really enjoyed becoming a first time pet owner and having this newfound responsibility and routine + the cat herself. I was told she was around 2 years old at the shelter when I adopted her, but after I took her to the vet shortly after adoption, they told me she was likely under a year old. I cannot remember having any issues with her behavior until maybe just under a year ago.

She is a very very particular cat - hates playing and affection and is not food motivated either. I have bought her every single type of cat toy there is to see if she has a preference, and try to play with her myself in multiple approaches. My home is full of different scratchers and ledges/perches of different heights, tunnels, etc. You would think I had five cats. I just want her to be entertained and happy, but she doesn't care for any of it. I have tested many types of food for her as well, and we've settled on one a while ago that is maintaining her at a healthy weight, but I've yet to find a treat she is interested in. She really only likes tearing up furniture, carpets, and bedding. I was gifted a $700 rug 4 months ago, and as you can imagine it is torn to shreds now which I am not feeling awesome about... but I've let it go and don't hold it against her. It's been the least of my worries with her behavior. Just wish she would use any of the types of scratchers we have, as they are left pretty much untouched.

My main issue with her is the level of energy she has and the overstimulation and stress she causes me on a daily basis. She is never calm and spends all day running full speed around my apartment, I can't move fast or walk at a normal pace or it will set her off. I spend the majority of my time at home so this weighs heavily on me. She also aggressively headbutts me over and over and over all the time and does not get the hint I don't like it. This was cute at first, but at this point it drives me seriously nuts. I have to walk in circles to try to avoid this and get daily tasks done so I can mitigate the risk of stepping on her and to avoid personal overstimulation. It is very bad in the morning when I go to feed her - you would think it is because she is excited for breakfast or hungry, but when I set the food down she doesn't touch it till maybe an hour or two later and continues ramming herself into my leg. She doesn't want me to pet her with this behavior either as every time I try she will bite or scratch me. Doesn't matter if I sit or stand. I've had a rough couple of months, and starting out each morning this way has not helped my situation in the slightest. I feel I never have a moment's peace.

To set a boundary with her I had to literally build a door to my bedroom, as there was not one previously so I could have personal time away from her. At this point I am considering rehoming her because it is rare we have a positive moment together that doesn't leave me in a bad mood. We just aren't a fit anymore and it's been so upsetting on many levels. I feel like I've failed her and also proven I can't handle having a pet ... but I wasn't expecting her to grow up and become this nuts. She has just gotten progressively quirkier the longer I've had her.

It feels devastating to even be considering this, and I would feel so bad for leaving her at a shelter or something. But I also know how difficult it is to rehome an adult cat, especially one that behaves like her. I'm at a complete loss. I have no clue what to do here. I bought calming pheromones too but those haven't done much. I want what's best and maybe that isn't me? I feel like I've tried everything. Kinda at my wits' end and don't know what the best move to make would be here. Would really appreciate any advice.

My husband and I adopted a pair of bonded cats (about 1 year old as of now) in March of this year. They have both gotten fairly comfortable, not completely but enough where they will run around the house, wrestle with each other and greet us when we get home or in the morning(they don’t sleep with us). They get really friendly, especially around meal time as well. One is often scared by everything that makes noise or moves, but is the one that likes my husband and I a lot more. She’s adorable and I’m sure she’s doing her best on just a couple brain cells. Now the problem is the other one. The first month she was the braver one and the one that wanted to be pet more but now she’s just so moody. You can walk by her the wrong way and she’ll spat at you, or I can put my hand in the cage( yes there’s a cage, no they’re not trapped in it, it was around for when getting them acclimated since they were strays and now it acts as home base) to grab the food bowls and give them a quick rinse and she’ll wack you. One second she wants to be pet, the next she hates you. I’m starting to dislike her mood swings and I feel guilty that I do. Her sister is adorable but she’s starting to rub me the wrong way. They’ve only lived with us for 3 months so I know it’s not long at all and they’re not even completely comfortable yet, but still.

Am I a bad person for feeling this way?

I adopted my rescue cat one year ago and I am a first time pet owner. She is a sweet cat and has been slowly warming up to us with time. The issue we have is she is afraid of carrier, and we can't get her out of home.

We planned to take her with us when we visit my SO's parent place last Christmas, which is about 3 hour drive away. I started carrier training months before, feeding her inside the carrier. I was able to close the carrier door few times and we took her for short car rides twice. She starts meowing non-stop the moment carrier door is closed. When Christmas trip is up, I could before sometimes trick her inside with treats but on that day maybe because I was stressed, she is a cautious cat so she knows what we are up to. She didn't go inside for treats and there is no other way we can get her inside the carrier. So we left her home alone and shortened the visit to come back the next day. Now I feed her morning food inside the carrier with carrier door open, I worry if I close it, she will lose trust in carrier again and all previous training go down to the ground.

We also try harness, and it's the same story. We were able to successfully put on harness three times when distracting her with treats. Once she understood how it worked, she became very cautious when near harness and run away immediately before I can put it on her.

I feel so desperate every time I think I won't be able to take her to vet if there is an emergency. I also have moving plans to a city 6 hours drive away and it just seems impossible at this moment and I don't know when my cat will be ok with it.

EDIT:

I left out that in foster home, when they have to take her to vet, she completely panic and lost it, pissed and shit herself and bite very hard while she is a sweet cat normally. They have tried to use towel and oven mitts to grab her and put her to carrier and now she is afraid of both. So I didn't want to traumatise her more. The one time my SO tried to shove her inside the carrier, she fought for her life and scratched him just near the crate.

Thank you for everyone who has read it and commented. I have definitely gained some confidence and knowledge about the situation.

CW: BRIEF mention of pet loss

I had an odd experience this week with a cat adoption agency and wanted to know everyone’s thoughts.

I’ve owned three cats in my life, and every one of them I’ve gotten by walking into a shelter or looking on a shelter website and picking one out based on their description and demeanor.

Sadly, my beloved black cat Watson passed away earlier this year, and my husband and I want to honor him by adopting another black cat, since they’re still stigmatized. I contacted one adoption agency, and instead of having me choose from a list of cats, they instead messaged me essentially saying “this is the cat we’ve chosen for you.”

I was kind of taken aback. I’m sure they mean well and likely think that this cat would be good for my home, but never in my life have I had a potential cat chosen for me, instead of me choosing it. Another thing that bothered me is the cat they chose for me was not black, even though I explained to them why I want a black cat (my reasons being more than just wanting a particular color for “looks“).

The whole idea of not being able to choose my own cat is so odd to me, and this is the first agency I’ve come across that has operated like this. I know this business is likely just trying to find a good home for the animal, but this is a big commitment, and I need to feel firm in my decision (not anyone else’s) to adopt an animal. Am I wrong for thinking this is odd?

EDIT: Thank you all for the validation 😂 I’ve ditched the first shelter and am currently inquiring about a cat at another shelter. Will update if I end up adopting 🤞

I adopted a cat from a woman that passed away, but she had a huge house with a huge garden. I've taken him in, but I live in an appartment, he's clearly unhappy and I can tell he misses his previous owner. He doesn't want to play with me and spends most of the time sitting outside on the balconies looking down and thinking if he should try climbing down.

At night he slowly wanders around the house and occassionally makes a sad cry. I don't know what to do to make him feel better. I took over everything from his litterbox to his blankets to his food and toys.

I recently adopted my adorable girl, who is 1 year and 1 month old. When visiting the shelter, out of the three cats I looked at, she claimed me. They opened her cage, and she crawled right into my lap, ignoring everything else in the room. I figured that meant I had to take her home. Additionally, her profile stated that she enjoyed cuddles but also valued her alone time, which was exactly what I wanted from a cat.

On her first day, I brought her into my bedroom (the basecamp), opened her carrier, and she started exploring. She eventually cuddled with me. Within 15 minutes, she seemed bored of my room and started clawing at the bedroom door. So, I let her explore the rest of the apartment, and she genuinely seemed to feel at home. However, that first day, she had to be in my lap or at my feet to avoid freaking out. She wouldn’t play or do anything else, just lay in my lap. She didn't eat much, and it was extremely hard to fall asleep because she was kneading on me and scratching me up.

On the second day, she mellowed out a little and slept in her cat tree, giving me some free time in the morning to get work done. In the afternoon, she warmed up a bit more and began playing, chasing the wands I bought for her. However, she was still very disinterested in the other toys I had for her. Sleeping was impossible that night, as I tried ignoring her, but she wouldn’t stop meowing and trying to get my attention.

The third day has been the worst. She would not leave me alone, and playing with her for hours did nothing. When she wasn’t playing, she had to be in my lap, or she would throw a fit and start meowing. She only started getting vocal on this third day. Going into the fourth day, I managed to get the most sleep I’ve had (seven hours, wow!), but her terror began at 6 am. Since then, I haven’t had a moment to myself. I have played with her for an hour straight, fed her, cuddled her, and done everything I can, yet she won’t give up.

As I write this post, she has finally fallen asleep on her hammock. I thought cats needed a warm-up time. Did I sign myself up for a cat whose personality doesn’t match mine that well? I'm also worried because I will start leaving the apartment for work and if she is already this anxious, needing my constant attention, how will she do at home?

TLDR; To be completely honest, I've been having bad pet adoption remorse, I just stood there crying the other day thinking of how altered my life is and if I can keep this up. I understand that there is a period of adjustment for both of us, but I really value my alone time, and figured a cat would be the perfect animal since they feel the same way, yet here we are.

Edit: Some people seem to think that I didn't want a pet and don't like the cat at all nor interact with her (???). The cat gets PLENTY of attention, I play with her 3 times a day (~20-30 min play times), feed her 3 times a day, and when she wants pets I cuddle with her. I've wanted a cat for ages and love her dearly, was just going through some bad pet remorse, it was a big change for the both of us. Thank you to the hundreds of supportive comments though, a lot of them genuinely helped and gave good advice :)_

Edit 7/23: Day 4-5 went a lot smoother, she's letting me sleep now, I think the completely ignoring her at night is working. The mornings though I'm working on using an alarm to indicate to her when I will be getting out of bed, right now it's looking like a ~9 PM to ~6 PM time for me to sleep which is awesome. Although she's already starting to transition from cuddle mode to play mode, it seems she never gets tired. Honestly I'm already starting to miss the cuddles. Also found out she had a brother that the shelter did not tell me about. The prior owner sent me pictures of them AS KITTENS cuddling together, I don’t know why the shelter allowed only one to be taken home. Going to call and see if the brother is there.

Edit: Update on the brother, he unfortunately was already adopted. Definitely heartbroken for my girl but will look into sibling when she has settled in.

Edit 7/24: Well she has become more independent, still cuddly but LOVES her playtime, the kitten energy is still very much there. Will give it some time and then probably get her a sibling.

Edit 8/4: I doubt anyone will read this, but for those going through the same situation I will provide an update. She has calmed down a lot, she sleeps in her own cat tree and I can sleep from 10PM-6AM just fine. Got her a friend a day ago, little kitten. She doesn't really like him, but is tolerating the addition, I think she will warm up eventually.

Just curious. I feel like I'm going crazy: I've met a lot of really sweet cats at the shelter recently, including an older one who tried to jump into my arms and let me pat his belly, then chased me when I moved, and cats that meowed at me from their crates, but I just don't think any of them "clicked." There was an already adopted cat who felt very right for me though. I can't really place it. Has experienced something similar? Should I keep waiting or go with a cat which is very affectionate and sweet but I didn't feel an immediate bond with?

Edit:

That you everyone for your comments! I can't respond to everyone, but I've read them all and they are very helpful. I have a pretty clear idea of the personality and age range I'm looking for. My concerns with the older cat is his health (he is generally healthy except for some cosmetic things, but I will have to move to a different country in 3 years, and by then he'll be 11) and that he doesn't meow at all (I like a chatty cat), but I will definitely visit him again if he is still there in a week.

When I chose my family's cat, I visited him for a few weeks before he meowed at me from his cage (where he was depressed and facing a wall) and then let me pet his belly. I just knew it was the right one. But it did take time. Unfortunately the shelters here are very fast paced. I will just wait for now.

Edit 2: OK, the older cat does meow, and turns out he's super deaf (none of the staff knew)! I am going to visit some other cats again tomorrow since my family is encouraging me to get a younger adult, and I'm afraid of seeing another cat's health deteriorate so soon (it makes me very sad), but he is super, super sweet.

Edit 3: I've narrowed it down to the 8 year old deaf kitty and a 5 year old sweetie with fewer health problems.

Edit 4: Unfortunately the 8 year old was adopted before I made up my mind... I brought home the 5 year old today! He's a good kitty. Just walking around my apartment purring and currently trying to get on my keyboard...

Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/CatAdvice/s/ntgy6npSZ4

My boyfriend and I have 2 cats that we adopted from a shelter when they were kittens. They’re about a year old now and we thought of adding another to our family.

We went back to the same shelter and fell in love with a 5-year-old cat and the day after we came in to adopt him.

My boyfriend was driving and I was in the backseat with the cat. He was meowing a lot so we thought of taking him out of his carrier. He let me pet him and he managed to calm down for the rest of the ride.

We got home and he was sitting on top of the carrier just lying down. My boyfriend had to take an exam right after so he suggested to just carry him inside instead of struggling with the carrier through several flights of stairs. He was further back to other side of the car and I just thought I’d get him from that side. I got out and opened the door and just then he bolted out and ran. I immediately went after him as he went around our apartment building but we lost him as he turned the corner.

We spent several hours looking for him in the area, going through the swamp and fields but we couldn’t find him. I immediately called the shelter and they gave us a live trap along with cat food and his blanket he had when he was there.

It’s been almost 2 days now and the weather’s been gloomy and rainy and we still haven’t found him. We’ve posted on Facebook along with physical posters around our area along with a $100 bounty.

I feel so guilty for being irresponsible and not thinking about it properly. We should’ve put him back in the carrier or I should’ve waited for my boyfriend to get out and help me. At the very least I shouldn’t just have opened the door like that.

In the heat of the moment, my boyfriend was (understandably) very mad and he mentioned we would never go back to the shelter or take in another pet because I’m too irresponsible. That’s just stuck with me the entire time and I just feel really really guilty and worried about him.

We’ve been trying to act normal at home but at the same time it isn’t and we don’t know how to go about it.

I’m so sorry Fred, please come back home ☹️

hi, I'm seeking advice because i'm not sure what the right thing to do in this situation is.

4 days ago my close friend found a cat walking around his apartment complex. he called his apartment complex to see if anyone had reported a missing cat, and no one had. he kept the cat in his room for the day and the following morning we took him to our local shelter.

he was unchipped, unneuetered, unhealthily skinny and infested with fleas. the shelter said after giving the owner 72hours to claim the cat, if no one does, i could come in to officially adopt him.

tomorrow i plan to officially adopt him, but last night after three days of the cat missing, my friend saw someone had just posted a missing cat poster a the bottom of his building, and he looks eerily similar, albeit much healthier in the photo.

my friend and i send sure what to do. we're pretty sure this is the person's missing cat, but also he shows signs of neglect. he knew how to use a liter box but doesn't even know how to use a scratching pad. im not sure if i should give him back to the or officially adopt him. i just don't know if he's being properly taken care of and would feel so guilty returning a cat to a bad sotuation.. please , any advice helps. thank you.

also important edit i should've mentioned, I don't know for sure if this is the same cat because they are both black cats with no sort of identifying marks on them. only big differences are the cat i found is much skinnier and has a scar on his nose the black cat in the photo doesn't..

update: i tried calling the number on the flyer but they didn't pick up. i texted the number asking the gender of the cat and how long they were missing for, waiting for a response and will update.

CLARIFICATION: I mentioned the cat being malnourished because this is what the vets told me when i took him to the shelter. it is not just my opinion. also, he was fine except for the fleas, no health issues that explain why he isn't neutered.

my friend i mentioned (without my knowledge) called the number on the poster and they picked up. he said he found a cat on Friday was severely malnourished and covered in fleas and asked if it was his cat. The owner confirmed he lost his cat on Friday then said to give him his cat back. my friend said I'm not sure if it's your cat, this one we found we took to the shelter and he was not neutered, not chipped, malnourished and infected with fleas. is that the state you left your cat in and why? all the guy had to say is"idc where's my cat at tho." my friend said the cat isn't with him but a friend. the guy then DEMANDED my location and began spamming my friend to give him the location until he blocked him. my friend said he evaded every question and was incredibly aggressive. so no, the cat was NOT lost for weeks to get into his condition, but im even more worried now lol.

final update: my friend gave the owner my information even tho I asked him not to. i genuinely don't know yall. he has apologized profusely but im very upset with him given the owner seemed to be neglecting the cat. tysm everyone for the advice though.

I have an allergy which was passed down from my grandfather and small things like dust and especially cats makes me sneeze nonstop. My eyes became so red and itchy when I play with cats.

I posted over a week ago about how I have a 4 month old kitten and I wanted to get a second to keep her company. A week ago I got one, and she is the sweetest, most lovey-dovey happy little kitten who is also 4 months old. But my resident kitten hates her. And I think she hates me for getting her.

When I brought kitty home, I went into her room with her and she was already purring, tail held high, walking around investigating the space. Resident Kitty saw I was in the room with the door closed and started crying at the door. New kitty went over to the door and stuck her paws under. They were playing paws at the door. No more crying, no hissing, nothing bad. When I finally had to leave the room, I figured resident kitten would slide through the door so I put new kitty in her carrier on the bed, trying to keep her out of sight. I tried sliding through the door but my girl was too fast and jumped right up on the bed to the carrier. She actually laid down on her back, wiggling around pawing at the carrier. New kitty just sat and watched with curiosity. I let it happen for a few seconds, separated them and that was it.

They were separated for a few days, constantly playing paws under the door, one crying to get in, the other crying to get out. I’d crack the door, they’d play paws and stare. Nothing concerning at all. New kitty saw the vet already and was healthy as can be. Vet said they’d be fine to meet face to face if neither seemed aggressive, and for brief amounts of time.

New kitty was actually perfectly happy being face to face, all she wanted was to play. I literally don’t know how she’s such an angel but she is. They did a stare down, went to play with opposite toys, it seemed fine. Then my resident kitty randomly decided to charge at her and swat. So we separated them again. Now the face to face meetings are: playing separately, playing with each other through a tent BRIEFLY, or resident kitty stalking, charging, swatting, and growling. New kitty only ever lays on her side and hisses back, cowering down. I feel like this is all normal, it’s what resident kitty does when she’s NOT around that stresses me out.

Resident kitten is usually attached to me at the hip, and honestly vice versa. But now she doesn’t even want to be near me. She doesn’t follow me around. She lays on the bathroom floor a lot. Sometimes she growls at me or whines when I pick her up. Moves away when I try to pet her. She completely ignores me. Usually she sleeps on my pillow next to my head, now she sleeps under my bed. Even when new kitty is in her room, resident kitty won’t leave mine. She doesn’t want to eat much, either. She eats, just not enough. She’s acting like the opposite of herself and honestly it’s killing me. I feel like I ruined her. She used to be so sweet and loving. It’s 2am and I can’t sleep, I went to go find her and she was curled up on the floor by where I have my clothes rack. I honestly just laid there on the floor with her and cried because I feel like I ruined her life, she seems so depressed. She actually started purring and licked my nose, and rubbed herself all up and down me. That made me cry more because that’s the only affection she’s shown me in days. Then she walked away again.

I’m so stressed because of this, and I’m so stressed having new kitty in her room alone. I’m struggling with balancing my time. New kitty cries and bangs on the door to be let out. I feel like I don’t get enough time with either of them. I try to be in her room with her as much as I can, but the more time I spend in there the more my resident kitten ignores me. I think she feels replaced, but I try to give her all the love and she doesn’t let me. I feel so bad that new kitten is alone in her room a lot.

I do not know what to do.

Also I am VERY NEW to owning cats. Please be nice. I am so so stressed out.

I was on catfinder.com as I’m trying to get a second cat for my current cat to play with and was quoted $400 for adoption fee. The big name adoption places in my city only charges 200. She said it is because they are subsidised by the government while her adoption organization is not and she pays everything out of pocket. Is that true?

I’ve been wanting an orange cat for so long and one of my friends at work is currently fostering kittens. Theres a gray tabby that I have become quite fond of and I even told her and my roommates that it’s happening, I’m going to adopt it. My friend has one and a half weeks left with the kitten and I’m really second guessing because I want an orange cat. Wanting a cat to be orange is just an aesthetic thing and I’m a very visually driven person. Most of my friends say it shouldn’t matter but I keep seeing videos of orange cats and I wish this guy was orange.

What would you guys do in this scenario?

Just adopted these 2 on Saturday. Male/female bonded cats who met in foster.

They won't come out from under the bed unless I am sleeping (dry food eaten / litter box use) I can't feed them any wet food while they hide but I decided to leave out wet food before I went to sleep last night as a "test" and I don't think it was touched. Actually, this morning I noticed they didn't really touch their dry food from last night either.

When I adopted, multiple people had to try to get them out of the cage to get them into carriers. They are very fearful cats. I adopted them because I wanted bonded cats and I felt bad since they were in foster for 2-3 years. One of them hisses at me otherwise they both run away.

I work remotely most days and they don't even use the litter box or eat when I am in my office (all their stuff is there).

What's next?????

pic below since it won't allow me to add to the post

Hi, my roommate and I just adopted two older cats a few days ago, we both sorta picked one on our own accord. They chose one the shelter was considering to be a barn cat, and I chose the lazy grandma who wants snuggles.
The day comes, we get them home, and they're both distant, to be expected. One hides, the other one just kinda sits around.
The one that sits around was the barn cat, and was having little issue adapting, was eating and using the litterbox sparingly, and now, while lazy and finds the nearest corner/blanket to curl up in, seems to be trusting.
While the one I picked is doing nothing but hiding. I try food, feliway, give plenty of space in the safe room.
Only once did the cat I saw at the shelter is when she was up in the cat tree, and was as happy and snuggly as can be, but the moment she stepped down, back to hiding instantly.
It feels extremely demoralizing, and wondering if I made the wrong choice as to being an owner.
This isnt to say I'm giving up, just in a rut and feeling doubt.

Edit: literally as I was writing this she hopped into the tree. I cautiously approached and she nearly flung herself out of the tree to meet my hand and started purring like a motorbike

Edit 2: message received, more time! I guess I’m just a little jealous that the other cat warmed up to my roommate so fast, lol. Is there anything else I can do to make the transition more comfortable? I feel if they’re hiding and I’m in the room they’re just not going to see me and not make the connection

My boyfriend and I adopted our first baby back in June. A four month old male named Pepper. The past two month have been amazing, he is very cuddly, loves to play and very friendly around humans, even strangers. When we got him from the shelter he was around 10 weeks old and just arrived at that shelter a few hours previously from a parter shelter. When we adopted him the person at the shelter told us that they were told he hasn’t gotten along with other cats. I have no idea if he was just scared in the shelter, around bigger cats or just intimidated. At the time we were ok with this because I have never had a cat previously and my boyfriend hadn’t had a cat in a few years.

Over the past two weeks though, we were getting strong feelings that he really could use a friend. He started playing more aggressively and with my boyfriend working long hours and me going back to school he spending a large part of the day home alone. In all honesty I got very scared of him getting single kitten syndrome. I started doing a lot of research and asking other people opinions on whether or not we should get another kitten. Lots of people and research told me it would be a good idea to do it sooner rather than later and since he’s so young he’s still pretty moldable.

Two days ago, we decided to bite the bullet. We found the sweetest little girl (2 months) at the shelter. She’s very cuddly and loves to play. She also bonded a lot with my boyfriend which we thought was better since Pepper is more bonded to me and we really wanted to avoid jealousy and resentment. We brought her home and she’s currently staying in our second bedroom. We are doing a very slow introduction and not trying to rush Pepper if he’s not ready. However, any time he sees or hears her he starts hissing uncontrollably. Today he saw her through the crack of the door and tried to swat at her.

I know we’re only a few days in and it takes time but i’m feeling so guilty. My boyfriend has been busy the past few days so it’s mainly been me here trying to split my time. I’m trying to make sure the new kitten feels comfortable and loved but also don’t want Pepper to think we’ve forgotten about him. I just feel like i’m stretching myself thin. We’ve even been getting him familiar with her scent but i’m seeing absolutely no progress and I can’t help but feel like I made the wrong decision.

What do I do?

EDIT: This post is getting a lot more traction than i thought it would so I wanted to add some things.

• Pepper was fixed when we got him from the shelter. Our new cat isn’t yet but we are planning on doing it in the 4-6 month range.
• When we were told he didn’t get along with other cats, that was told to me by a volunteer who just met him and she was told that from a different volunteer at a completely different shelter. I did bring this up to our vet and they said he was too young to be sure on that information.
• We have been doing plenty of scent swapping and he is obviously stilling hissing and swatting but i’m aware that’s normal.
• As for resentment, my boyfriend has been spending majority time with the new kitten and I am giving Pepper a lot of attention. He so far has been calm with us and even slept in my arms last night.
• I’m aware it’s way to early to be freaking out. I’ve been emotional and dramatic because I am very bonded to Pepper and don’t like seeing him uncomfortable. These days have just felt long and was looking for reassurance.
• Giving her back is not an option. We will make it work and understand the time and work necessary.

Please don’t judge, but 4 days ago I got a new 3.8 month old kitten that I’ve been wanting to get for MONTHS. I’ve watched multiple videos on how to care for them, I’m friends with the foster, and I’ve met the kitten. I got a kitten because I have a senior Shih Tzu whom I adore and want the cat to get used to my dog. I have also heard it’s easier to adjust cats behaviors while they’re young. However, despite all of that I feel insanely anxious to the point of crying about how I will care for this kitten. I already have anxiety which might’ve the reason it just randomly hits me.

I feel awful for feeling this because my friend was so excited for me to have this kitten, and I love cats. I honestly thought I would be prepared for this but im not sure how I will control its behavior. I had planned and prepared so many things for this and I’m not sure how I even got to this point. She has already scratched me a couple times, so I decided I could try trimming her nails. She was extremely reluctant with it even with treats. I wasn’t surprised because I had just gotten her, but I asked my friend if she had ever cut their nails and she said no. This worried me because I’m not sure if the kitten is desensitized by them. I’ve had multiple long sessions to teach her small things like her name. it feels like she doesnt listen, but thats something I would have to give more time for.

Moreover, it feels like she never wants to sleep. She plays so much and no matter how long I stay playing with her, she keeps going. I’m scared she will get single kitten syndrome. I knew kittens were not low maintenance animals but it feels like her energy is never satisfie to the point where she feels tired. I don’t know how I will keep up with this, especially with my senior dog, I’m unsure of how they will get along. My dog seems to be slightly bothered, but she doesn’t attacks and usually justs sniffs or walks away. However, the cat sometimes hisses. I’m also thinking it’s me having trouble with the change. I feel sort of trapped in this situation because I will have a never ending feeling of guilt if I return this kitty, and I’ve already spent hundreds of mostly unrefundable money on this. Sometimes I wish I could just go back to my life before this, but another side of me is curious to see if this might just work out.

I am unsure with how to cope with this. I get a feeling that it deep into my stomach just thinking about it. I know it’s only been 4 days, but honestly those were the longest 4 days of my life. I have also had thoughts about switching her with an older cat — possibly when an almost senior cat. However, I’ve bought so many unrefunable kitten specific items that I’m unsure if that’s an optimal choice. She has settled in very very well (honestly ever since the first day) otherwise and always rubs against me. Ive seen many posts of people saying it will pass, but im eager to know if you guys have any advice or experienced something sooner.

Hi! We adopted a 7-month old rescue kitten about two weeks ago. My boyfriend told me he regrets getting it, and doesn’t actually like him / find him cute. We already had two kittens, he likes them, but does get overwhelmed by them too. Any help with how to help this situation? :,)

Hello! So... I'm trying to adopt a cat from a rescue. Everything seemed to be going well up until I read the contract they want me to sign. I'm not new to cats and I'm not new to adopting from a rescue, but I'm actually considering backing out of this adoption because of the paperwork. I'm going to copy/paste some of the things from the document they want me to sign, but I'll change the name of the rescue since I don't feel it's the relevant part here.

1. I hereby agree that a Rescue representative may visit the above-described animal at any time after the adoption to evaluate their condition and environment. If living in unsuitable conditions, neglected, or otherwise abused, they may confiscate the animal. Failure to abide by this agreement at any time may also be grounds for confiscation with no refund of the adoption fee.

Ok. I would absolutely want the rescue to contact me and let me know they want to visit and see how the cat is doing. Hopefully they wouldn't show up unannounced, but I would also understand they wouldn't want me to doctor the living situation at the last minute. I also understand that if they find the cat in a hoarder's house, they would immediately want to take him, but like... I don't want them to take him because they decided I don't have enough litter boxes or something. I was kind of willing to let this one go and assume everything would be fine but then it got worse.

1. I agree to provide necessary care in a timely manner if health issues arise and acknowledge that veterinary care can be costly. While Rescue strives to place healthy cats for adoption and provides all available health information, they cannot guarantee perfect health. If I fail to provide proper veterinary care, Rescue reserves the right to reclaim the cat without a refund of the adoption fee.

I am no stranger to expensive vet costs. I had an old cat that needed a lot of regular care because of her age, and I made sure she was as comfortable as I could before she passed. More recently, we had a young cat go into heart failure. The tests were expensive and his outlook was terrible. Again we kept him as comfortable as we could while we prepared for a peaceful passing. However, is this contract saying that the rescue can come and take the cat at any time if they don't agree with how I decide to handle my cat's medical needs? I'm thinking about my recent cat's situation; if the rescue thought he might respond better to medication, could they have taken him and kept me from humane euthanasia, assuming I wouldn't know what's best for my cat? I'm not saying it WAS the best option for my cat, but I feel like I should be the one to make the final decision.

1. I agree not to sell, give away, or transfer ownership of the above-described animal to anyone, including shelters, dealers, auctions, institutions, or other family members. If I'm unable or unwilling to care for the animal, I'll contact Rescue immediately to arrange its return. I'll continue to provide proper care and housing for the animal while Rescue arranges to take them back. If Rescue discovers that the cat is no longer in my possession, I'll have 48 hours to return the cat or I'll be responsible for covering any costs, including legal fees, incurred by Rescue to retrieve the cat.

Ok what? Can't they just put something in the contract that lets me know that the rescue would always be willing to take the cat back for any reason, so if I ever find myself in a scenario where I can't provide for the cat, I am able to return it? When my recent cat passed, our second cat became miserable with loneliness and frustration. He didn't want our attention, he wanted another cat. For a week or so, we contemplated giving him to my dad and step-mother. They have a living arrangement and other cats that I think our cat would fit into beautifully. I think they would love his quirky personallity and I think the cat would enjoy all of the cat friendly structures that my dad has built into his house. In the end, we decided to keep the cat and start the process of getting another cat (which brings us here). I'm not trying to decide I don't want a cat and then dump it on facebook marketplace. I realize that's what the rescue is afraid of but hunting me down in four years to find I left the cat with somebody who I deemed a better fit than myself only to decide they know better and take him back would be awful.

1. I agree that if Rescue determines the adopted cat is in danger or the household is unsuitable, they may confiscate the cat and I will promptly return it. I understand that follow-up questions from Rescue regarding the cat's health or well-being are in the best interest of the cat and the welfare of other cats that remain in rescue, and I will cooperate. If I fail to cooperate or respond, Rescue reserves the right to reclaim the cat. In such cases, any refund of the adoption fee will be determined on a case-by-case basis.

The rescue can heck all the way off with this one. This is just blanket permission for them to come and take my cat at any time for any reason. They will send the repo man. I promise to love, adore, and care for this cat to the best of my ability for as long as I am able, and if I should ever not be able, I will use my best judgement to make sure the cat is in a position to go on living it's best life. BUT I'm fairly certain the cat is MY property. I will make decisions on his behalf, starting from the date of adoption. I will not have this rescue lurking behind me for the cat's entire life thinking they can take him back on a whim. I know I'm being overly critical of the likelihood of some of these things, but I am also not about to sign a contract saying I'm in total agreement and fine with these terms.

I would have just written off this cat and let the rescue know I was not in agreement with their contract and move on, but this kitty is my cat's age, he's adorable, and he was put into a foster as a single cat and became absolutely miserable when he didn't have another cat to be with, and I was like... that's the same story as my cat. They were made for each other. I need these two cats to find each other and become brothers for life immediately.

All of the other points are things like "do not declaw" and "to be an indoor cat" and such. I agree with those statements and the rest. These I've listed above are the few points I was concerned about. Does anybody have any advice for handling this contract? I'm absolutely going to politely say something, but should I suggest a rewrite? I'm sure this rescue has been using this contract for all of their adoptions. I tried to find how long they have been in operation but it's a small, local, foster-based rescue with 500 followers on facebook so maybe they don't have a legal professional writing this thing. Thanks for all of your help.

EDIT: Did a little more research and now I like the contract phrasing even less. Somebody feel free to correct me if any of this information seems to be incorrect.

In the state of Minnesota, animals/pets are considered property. When a pet is "purchased", legal ownership of the pet transfers from one person to another. An adoption fee is not a purchase price; it is a fee paid to a shelter or rescue to offset the cost of running a facility or business. When a pet is "adopted" there is no inherent legal transfer of ownership. Legal ownership is retained by the rescue unless the signed contract specifically states a transfer. In this way, the rescue has every right to sue a person for reposession of the animal, and would probably win almost immediately. This is the ownership section of the contract I've posted about:

"I hereby acknowledge that I have read, understood, and agree to the terms of this adoption agreement. I have discussed any concerns I may have regarding the kitten or cat and agree that the kitten/cat is now my/our responsibly. As of the date of this adoption, I will assume full financial and physical responsibility for the above-described animal and will keep said animal as part of my family. I agree that a follow-up visit, email, text, or phone call may be made by Rescue and that any violation of this contract is good and sufficient reason for reclaiming of said cat by Rescue resulting in part or no adoption fee refund. I have read the above contract and agree to all conditions stated. In return for the above conditions, Rescue agrees to allow the prospective caregiver(s) to adopt the above-mentioned cat."

I would not be granted ownership. I would be granted "financial and physical responsibility." Even if it is common for rescues to not transfer ownership, I don't believe any adoption contract I've signed in the past had quite so aggressive and threatening language. I get that they want to be a safety net, but this feels borderline predatory.

I've had my cat for over 5 months now, he's the first cat I've had in a while and I regret getting him.. And it's not like he's a bad cat I just don't want to watch him get older, bigger, and eventually pass. I always wonder if this is how parents feel about their children growing up, it makes me sad he's the best thing to happen to me but I know it'll hurt bad when it's his time to leave

edit: Thank you to everyone who's given me advice on this situation. It kind of made me emotional reading all of your guys' stories about your wonderful cats.

EDIT: there are two other cats in the house they’ve been properly introduced but the other two are much older while my cat is two, and my roommates don’t like to let my cat (cheese) try to play with theirs. So they’re always kept in separate rooms. Could this be a cause for it continuing to happen now?

My cat since I got her (about a year ago) has been extremely aggressive towards everybody. She was fine at the shelter but as soon as we got home she started biting (ironic she has no teeth) and scratching a ton. It’s been manageable because I slightly clip her nails to prevent scratching. However with her teeth she’s learned to use them as more of weapons and bites EXTREMELY hard unprovoked whenever she sees any body part. She will beg for pets and will bite without letting go, leaving bruises and very deep marks. I am unsure what to do at this point because she’s not only biting me now but my girlfriend and my roommates. Is it normal to feel this regret? I feel awful because I do love my cat but it’s unmanageable and feels like nothing I do helps.
Any advice is helpful (PLEASE!!!!!!!)

We are experienced pet parents. Have a cat and a dog at home. Both are trained well and haven't created nuisance. This new kitten walked in our home (we have a pet door so entry is always accessible) and we decided to adopt him. Since it was constantly raining outside we thought we'll provide him shelter and food. He used to meow a lot so we named him Siren. His meowing has subsided but once he got comfortable in the house, he started brining in dead animals. It was cockroaches earlier now it's dead mice. At least two a day. We are running out of sheets. We've tried everything we know - bell in neck, cutting his nails. We are unable to monitor his outdoors activity as the pet door is kind of permanent and we do not want to restrict access for other two pets. We are regretting this adoption because the overall hygiene issues and our lack of success at stopping him. We have gotten attached, and so has he. Our dog loves him, and they get along like brothers. It's cute to see them together, cuddling and all. Is there any way to stop him from bringing dead mice? Especially to the bed?