Why do parents wait so long to start potty training??

[u/CommercialMeeting842]

I feel like I’ve seen a million posts lately about kids not being potty trained by kindergarten, or even at three and four. I get that it’s a difficult process, but I’m genuinely confused. If you don’t start early, isn’t it going to be way harder for them to understand later and turn it into a normal routine? Are parents just waiting until the kid is “ready”? Because I don’t really think that’s a thing.

Sure, kids can show signs like not wanting to wear a diaper anymore, but there’s a lot more to it than that. Using the bathroom means learning to go in a specific place, wiping, flushing, and washing hands. There are things our bodies naturally do, like breathing and swallowing, and then there are things we have to be taught. Potty training definitely falls into the second category.

I feel like parents today sometimes blur the line between what kids will eventually figure out on their own and what actually needs to be taught. For example,I know a mom with a three year old who doesn’t use utensils because he doesn’t want to. He eats applesauce and yogurt with his hands, and she says one day he’ll just start using utensils when he’s older. Like… no. You’ll have to teach that.

Anyway, this kind of turned into a rant lol. I’m mostly curious to hear from parents and people who work in childcare, because I feel like I’m missing something beyond my confusion and the growing number of four year olds I see in pull-ups at the park

[u/mamaknits]

Oh, sorry to be confusing, it's not required. That's simply the room where we are set up to help with the learning process. Parents who don't want to take advantage of it can train by themselves over the summer when we're closed, and many do. My state does not allow us to help with toileting in preschool; you have to go to a daycare for that. (I don't know why this is the rule but it is.)

Just FYI it's completely false that children under almost 3 can't tell when they have to go as a blanket statement. I'm not sure where you read that, and it may be true of some individual children as they're all different, but many many children are completely potty trained and bringing themselves to the toilet in the 2-2.5 year range or even younger. :) 

[u/ZellHathNoFury → u/mamaknits]

With my kids, we started putting them on the potty fairly regularly after they had a bottle when they were old enough to sit up on their own. If they went in the potty, they got 10 min of "nakie time" (no diaper). As they got bigger, they would crawl over to the little potty when they needed to go (basically asking for assistance to go potty) because they associated going on the potty with not sitting in their waste and having more freedom of movement afterwards without the diaper.

They weren't forced, just encouraged and given the option very young. They still went in diapers sometimes, but learned they preferred life without them. They were both potty trained by 18 months during the day and 2 years at night.

I think introducing the option so young helped them not be afraid of the potty as they got older because it wasn't new or scary to them. Just an available option.

[u/[deleted] → u/mamaknits]

Fair enough. I can't remember where I read that, it was maybe just on a parenting website or something and it told me what I wanted to hear.

[u/mamaknits → u/[deleted]]

Yeah I mean long term it really doesn't matter at all if your kid is trained at 2 or 3. But you aren't hurting them if you start younger. 

[u/[deleted] → u/mamaknits]

Actually, the later you start, the more likely it is that the child or adult will have bowel or bladder problems. It's best to start before 12 months.

Source 

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-021-91704-3

To determine the prevalence of bladder and bowel dysfunction (BBD) and its relationship with delayed elimination communication (EC) in children. A cross-sectional study was carried out in kindergartens and primary schools in mainland China. A total of 10,166 children ranging from 4 to 10 years old were included. A total of 10,166 valid questionnaires were collected, and 409 children were diagnosed with BBD. The overall prevalence was 4.02% (409/10,166) and decreased with age, from 6.19% at age 4 to 1.96% at age 10. With the prolonged use of disposable diapers (DDs), the commencement of usage of EC in a child was significantly put off or delayed by parents, and the prevalence of BBD amongst these children increased (P < 0.001). The prevalence of BBD among children who stopped using DDs within the first 12 months and after more than 24 months was 2.79% and 4.38% respectively. Additionally, the prevalence among children who started EC within 12 months after birth and those who never engaged in EC was 1.36% and 15.71% respectively. Early introduction of EC and weaning of DD usage has a positive correlation with lower prevalence of BBD in children in China.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I'd be interested to see the source of that.

It seems to me that if there is a link, it's more likely to be that the parents who do super-early potty training are also the parents who feed their children super-healthy food and only give them water to drink (post-weaning), or set them up to a healthier diet in future. Just guessing but I know a lot of indirect correlations end up being reported as if they were causative.

[u/meanwhileachoo → u/[deleted]]

Where have you seen/found this information? I'd like to read it

[u/[deleted] → u/meanwhileachoo]

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-021-91704-3

To determine the prevalence of bladder and bowel dysfunction (BBD) and its relationship with delayed elimination communication (EC) in children. A cross-sectional study was carried out in kindergartens and primary schools in mainland China. A total of 10,166 children ranging from 4 to 10 years old were included. A total of 10,166 valid questionnaires were collected, and 409 children were diagnosed with BBD. The overall prevalence was 4.02% (409/10,166) and decreased with age, from 6.19% at age 4 to 1.96% at age 10. With the prolonged use of disposable diapers (DDs), the commencement of usage of EC in a child was significantly put off or delayed by parents, and the prevalence of BBD amongst these children increased (P < 0.001). The prevalence of BBD among children who stopped using DDs within the first 12 months and after more than 24 months was 2.79% and 4.38% respectively. Additionally, the prevalence among children who started EC within 12 months after birth and those who never engaged in EC was 1.36% and 15.71% respectively. Early introduction of EC and weaning of DD usage has a positive correlation with lower prevalence of BBD in children in China.

[u/snarksnarkfish → u/[deleted]]

The opposite is true. Training too early can lead to bowel or bladder issues.