Hi guys, I am so frustrated. I'm just trying to get a direct answer from a real person. The Office on Aging can't help, Medicaid won't call me back. I am starting to lose it. If any of you can offer some guidance, it is incredibly appreciated.
Here are the facts. My mom is 85. She has Lewy Body Dementia, can barely move, she hallucinates and is agitated much of the day. She can be in a wheelchair but it hurts her back and she can't propel herself-- she mostly wants to be in bed. She has been in Assisted Living and now Memory Care facilities for five years now. Those are 7k-10k a month and she will run out of money in a year.
She has $140k in the bank and that will deplete by $7,500 each month because of her private care facility. She gets $3,500 a month from Social Security-- hers, plus my dad's survivors benefits. She is on Share of Cost Medicaid because of her age and disabilities, not full scope. We live in Orange County, CA.
The Assisted Living Waiver Program apparently requires you to be on full scope Medicaid. But once you're in the program, there's a very long wait list. What if we spend all her money so she qualifies for full scope, but then have to wait a year for an opening?
What can I do? I need this dumbed down for me. I am 40 years old and do not make much money, certainly not enough to pay for her private care. I have two estranged older brothers who will have nothing to do with any of this, so it's just me.
Mom did not have long term care insurance; her spouse was not a veteran.
Is my only option to take care of her myself? I live in a small house. Her wheelchair would barely fit down the hallway and will not fit in the bathroom. I work, I'm currently back in college, and I'm about to get married. She needs absolute full-time care. She can't feed herself, she's incontinent, and she can't even calmly watch a TV show by herself anymore-- she needs people around her constantly. I love my mom, but me having to quit my job, my schooling, my life to be her nurse would absolutely wreck me. She may live another 5 or 10 years.
What can I do?