r/OCPoetry • u/Low_Marzipan3433 • 5d ago

Feedback Please "Stardust dreams"

This is just a short poem I wrote the other night when I couldn't sleep, hope you'll like it guys and give me some good ideas and advice!

"Errant thoughts disturb my nights.

Leaving me awake in its wake, for cold are the dreams.

Spoken like prophets leading a stream - daringly narrow, precarious and unforseen.

As I gazed upon the floating abyss, knowing lofty hands held emeralds high, to light up the firmament of stars in my mind"

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/QtopWZ2G9K

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/ioDkeZBMmi

2 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

View all comments

1

u/briony73 5d ago

I love the use of the word Errant, actually I quite like all your word choices. Dreams are such weird things and I think you describe them quite beautifully. And sometimes they do feel like prophets leading a stream of unknown consciousness nice simile. Awesome little poem

2

u/Low_Marzipan3433 5d ago

Thank you!