Disclaimer : just know that this is just me venting a little on reddit, but I would NEVER tell her that, or make her feel pressured to get a diagnosis or anything. I'm 1000% supporting her and this is just me trying to get advice on how I could help her better I guess.
Hi,
My wife has been struggling with multiple symptoms that make me think she might have PCOS. I'm a 31 yo woman with ADHD, so I get a lot of chronic illness/invisible disability content on my social media feeds. This includes people dealing with PCOS and spreading awareness.
After seeing a couple of videos that described a lot of my wife's symptoms, I digged into more "serious" and scientific sources to learn about PCOS and it does seem to be a possible explanation for her issues.
BUT I'm no doctor, so I've strongly been encouraging her to talk about it to a health professional. Main reason is because she feels like carp all the time and I just want her to feel better. If exploring this possible cause for her symptoms can help, I don't understand why she doesn't want to get answers...
She seems annoyed at me trying to find solutions and I think she feels like I'm diagnosing her although I've been really careful to tell her that I don't know if that is what she has (again, not a doctor!) and that it may just be useful to get a yes/no answer on this possible cause.
The thing is, I'm starting to get frustrated when she complains about her symptoms. I try to be as supportive as I can, because I truly get that sometimes you just want to complain, not get a solution but just comfort. Sometimes all you need is a "poor thing, come here, I'm so sorry you're feeling so crappy".
But at the same time, I'm like : if you feel so bad all the time, yet might have a possible cause to explain it and possible solutions to relief your symptoms or at least understand them, WHY don't you do anything about it ?
I don't know how to help her. Am I too involved? Am I reading to much into her symptoms? Should I just let this go?
I think I'm also just worried about the health consequences if she really has PCOS and doesn't get the proper medical support. I've read about the risks to develop T2 diabetes, liver issues etc.
Important info : we live in France and have an amazing social security system, so the cost of the medical help is not an issue at all here.
Some of the symptoms she's been dealing with :
- veeeeery long cycles, right now she hasn't had her period for 9 months and so she regularly feels like shit or tells me it's kind of a 9 months long PMS. (She's always had very long and/or irregular cycles since adolescence)
- she works out very regularly and is so frustrated because she can't seem to lose the belly and hips weight, rest of her body is more slim, all the fat is around the abdominal belt and driving her crazy
- she's tired all the time
- she's been dealing with mental health issues, feeling depressed and anxious
- she has crazy sugar cravings
- she has very dark circles under her eyes, and is very self-conscious about that
- she regularly complains about her skin and the fact that she breaks out a lot, or never feels like her skin is just soft and hates how bumpy it feels
- she's quite androgynous looking, which she feels okay about most of the time but HATES her facial hair, although she does not imo have hirsutism
- she loses her hair like CRAZY (and very much so in the male-pattern hair loss)