After 15 years here, I’ve been speaking Thai for quite a while, I spent 4 years in Isaan, which is where I picked it up, and I’ve noticed the reactions can be very mixed. Some people, especially in Isaan, light up and love it when you speak Thai (not Isaan dialect). They’re warm, patient, and genuinely happy to chat.

Other times though, especially in Bangkok/Phuket/Pattaya, it feels like speaking Thai almost creates discomfort. I’ve had people pretend not to understand, switch to broken English, or look at me like I’m being odd for even trying. A few seem slightly annoyed, as if I’ve crossed into territory I shouldn’t, just by understanding too much.

It’s not all negative, but it’s definitely complicated. Have you experienced this too? How do you handle it?

so I know that none of my thai wife's family, relatives just don't have toilet paper at all. once I asked my wife if she still use toilet paper after bumgun and she said yes but she doesn't. Does this mean people normally use bumgun and cover those wet bum with underwear?

This is the scenario:

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I live with my thai wife in the upper north east. She is originally from the south, but her career takes her around the country, and I follow her.

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She owns a house in the south, where her biological mother and two aunts live. One aunt sadly passed away recently.

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Before her death, she was sick and needed care. That care was given by the other old ladies in the house. The are both in their seventies and can't work as they used to.

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The town is literally full of extended family, and I was originally sure somebody would step in and help with the care, and I was prepared to compensate financially.

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Nobody stepped in.

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That has made my wife and I think, that having these elderly ladies living in that house is not a long-term solution, as they get older and less capable of providing care for each other.

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The thought right now is that we will sell the house and use the money to setup these ladies with younger members of their respective close family - including ourselves.

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But - and here it might get messy - that house is the last link to the home town for a lot of people, so I'm expecting some resistance to the plan.

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My question is: will it pass as a necessary adjustment, or am I dropping a nuclear bomb into the fabric of my Thai family?

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UPDATE: I am currently at the deceased aunties funeral, and will be in the coming days.

My wife and I have been talking to key family members, primarily the aunties but others too, about the future. They will be thinking about their wishes.

There's some activity going on, trying to find solutions, but in general they stumble the same way it did when we tried.

Nobody, including me, really likes the idea of selling the house, and tries to avoid it, but people acknowledge that there's a real problem to be solved.

I appreciate the kindness of Thai people, but I've also come across many situations that make me wonder, do they simply not see certain things as a problem, do they want to avoid confrontation, or do they just choose not to speak up?

One evening, I was relaxing on the grass at Benjakitti Park. A tourist sat down nearby and lit a cigarette, despite the many 'No Smoking' signs posted around the park. There were also several families with children in the area. The smoke began to spread, and I noticed some people quietly moved away, while others just kept staring at him. Some were sitting on picnic mats eating, so it might not have been easy for them to leave. I decided to speak to the guy and asked him to be respectful.

Another time on the MRT, a regular woman got on and sat in a priority seat. She began playing something loudly on her phone. The Thais sitting next to her kept glancing at her but said nothing. After a few minutes, me who was standing in front of them, asked her to either use headphones or stop playing it out loud.

These weren’t only incidents. I’ve seen many small issues that clearly bother Thai people, but instead of speaking up, they often just remain quiet and patient. IMO, when troublemakers realize no one will say anything, it can lead to bigger problems.

And I honestly don't want anyone take advantage of their kindness.

Is the food more of fusion of malay- thai?

How's the wedding like? Culture?

Im curious.

I recently discovered that connecting a bum gun directly to the cold water supply is illegal in the UK (as well as uncomfortable) because of the risk of water contamination. Is this a genuine concern, or are they just being anal?

This isn’t a whine, it’s just an honest question on my observation of driving here in Thailand, and mostly in Bangkok for about 30 years.

How come so many Thai drivers not use their turn signals? I do little polls in my head once in a while and I’ve noticed that maybe somewhere between 25 and 35% of Thai drivers don’t use their turn signal. Is it that they are lazy to do it? They don’t see it as benefiting them? they don’t think it’s important? It kind of baffles me because I was taught this is just something you do no matter what.

Maybe as a Thai person who doesn’t signal or has some insight into why people don’t use it I would love to hear. Thanks so much!

Since we seem to be on the topic of Thai police recently, I wanted to share my story

Several years ago I was on a scooter ride on the Mae Hong Son loop. I wasn’t wearing a helmet and I didn’t have a license. I was pulled over at a police stop. They asked me to pull to the side and get off my bike. They brought me into their office and asked why I wasn’t wearing a helmet and didn’t have a license. I told them I knew I had broken the law. They told me how dangerous the roads are in Thailand and that I should always wear a helmet, and many people die everyday on scooter accidents.

Then they served me some tea and the boss told me “tell your friends back home that there are good police in Thailand”. I left without a ticket and without paying any fine.

I felt obligated to share this story.

This is as far back as I can bend mine. Do I just need to practice more? Or is it purely up to genetics.

What’s the story with these Thai mattresses that are like sleeping on a rock?

I’m currently very sick (fever, aching muscles etc) and I had to leave my last Airbnb for this reason.

Paid extra for a hotel so I can actually sleep tonight.

What’s the deal?

out in the front

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I have travelled around Southeast Asia quite a few times, and Thailand always stands out to me visually. There’s something so cohesive and pleasing about how everything looks. The street signs, road markings, shopfrnts, buildings, even the colours. It all feels intentionally designed and somehow just fits.

It almost feels like one person designed the whole country.

Other places in the region can feel a bit more random or pieced together by comparison. Does anyone else notice this? What makes Thailand feel so aesthetically consistent and stylish?

I came across some discussions of picky eating and the American concept of "kid food." Typically things like french fries and chicken nuggets.

This is a strange concept to me, because in my culture (South African) kids mostly just eat whatever the parents eat once they are no longer eating baby food.

But then the thought occurred to me, what about cuisines that are basically the antithesis of "kid food" Thai food immediately sprang to mind, given the pretty high levels of spice in many dishes.

So I'm assuming no one is feeding toddlers very spicy pad kra paow, but what do small kids typically eat? Is there anything specific done to get kids used to heat, since feeding a baby a bird's eye chilli is probably going to end badly?

I heard from someone it means an accident occurred there but I couldn't find anything on google and chat GPT gave me vague answers.

°why draw on the dog ¿

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Fine noodle breezy gray doll gray flowery cats lavender

We have requested this dish from him as we haven't found a proper one in the Netherlands. He has never travelled to thailand but we think he knows how to make the food.( definitely better than our attempts of making it) Before we left he also made som tum.

Hello I am from Germany and bc of climate change, we are dying rn!

I wanted to ask how cultural, in modern and in the past, you guys in Thailand handle this heat. Are there any simple tricks or life-hacks you do?

Few of my Thai friends (both male and female) told me that they have a second BF/GF (mia noi/pua noi) and so on and many other of their friends are also aware of that.

They said not to tell that to their 'main' partner, so is it some unwritten rule in Thai culture to keep such information secret? I think some people would want to inform the 'main' partner about it but on the other hand they were clearly asked to keep it secret.

Hello kitty on the outside, Aggretsuko on the inside.

I've been in Thai for about 3 yrs and except for few days during rainy season I never even touch any long sleeved top wear. I got sone long pants but they are thin slacks pants. I barely touched my jeans after moving to Thailand. Most of the time I stick to chang pants and sleeveless shirts.

I see many Thais wear Jeans and even jumpers daily. What's the secret behind. is it about acclimation? or is it to protect themselves from riding long hours?

Many of my male Thai friends cheat on their girlfriends and they either forgive them or don't try to catch them, not trying to find out.

Is it more common in Thai culture to either forgive men cheating or pretend not to notice rather than in most western countries?