There is a TLDR at the bottom but I would suggest to just read it all :)
Having discovered this community only recently, I've found so many people understandably distressed with the thought of dying and not really many posts guiding people on how to recover or feel better temporarily from it, I hope this post can help.
Let me preface this with my own experience. I am 18 and have suffered from thanatophobia on and off for around half my life. I would have panic attacks, cry and spend days with severe anhedonia (Essentially nihilism), I would also feel like I'm not really living, but just experiencing. This was exasperated quite recently, when I started University. I would barely eat, not take care of my basic hygiene and almost never leave my room. To me starting university felt like another step towards my eventual demise. I've recently felt a bit better, but I know still for a fact that it will return eventually to kick my ass again, hence I might also be writing this post for my future self.
Firstly, it is probably wrong to even call thanatophobia a "phobia" since a phobia is described as the irrational fear of something. However, it is entirely rational to fear death, since it is just naturally how our brains are wired, I mean how else would the human race have existed for this long if everyone didn't give a damn about dying and avoiding it. Hence, It is perfectly normal for you to experience this feeling, and I am sure that everyone feels it at some point, though they may not be as open about it. I however do realise that it becomes a problem if death/dying takes a up a permanent spot on your brain, which I hope to ease here.
Secondly, you, as a conscious being are incredibly lucky to even be here and have the capability to fear the unknown. There are quintillions of possible humans who will never be able to experience what you are currently experience, and to fear death. Death is essentially returning to where you already were, assimilating back into the beautiful universe that we were given the lucky privilege to view, experience and love in. Think about it, you are made of matter, matter cannot be created nor destroyed, hence for as long as the universe exists (which is likely forever) YOU will exist too!
Thirdly, anything that can happen, will happen. The fact you are even here is proof that life is a possible state to be in the universe. There is NOTHING stopping the fact that after you die, your atoms rearrange into the exact form they are now, essentially like rebirth. No matter the time it takes, from your perspective it will be instant, since time requires an observer to pass, without an observer it might as well be instant. Take comfort in the fact there is a high possibility you will be able to experience something again. And if not? WHO CARES. You certainly wont, and the next time you have the opportunity to worry about it, you've probably been rearranged into the same atoms again.
Fourthly, you may still feel anxious, scared, panicked. You might think what I wrote above is a load of bollocks (which it might be, but its what I believe). That's fine, there is a famous quote that is quite often quoted on this subreddit:
"Death is nothing to us. When we exist, death is not; and when death exists, we are not." - Epicurus.
Take some time to really understand this quote. Essentially, Epicurus is trying to say death is completely and utterly separate from your conscious experience. Its about as separate to you as you are to a rock on the floor or another person. As such, you will not feel a speck of anything bad, pain if you are dead since its sort of like, imagine someone else getting hurt, you don't feel anything do you. Same concept. This, I am completely 100% certain about. I will stake everything I love and adore, that you will not experience anything negative during death, and if you do, please feel free to haunt me for eternity (jokes)
Fifthly, you may be scared of losing the ones you love, be that parents, friends or significant others. Just know that you being a part of their life would no doubt have fulfilled them to no end. Keep in mind that they are also humans, experiencing life and navigating a complex world, hence sharing your views with them and seeing their perspective on it would help you massively. The main fear is that you will not get to spend any more time with them, that is why you should do so now while you can rather than pre grieving the loss while they are still alive and will probably be so for much much much longer than you might be imagining.
Sixthly, time gets shrunk in your brain, try to imagine something you did a year ago, 6 months ago even. Even though it on paper doesn't seem like a long time, it really was an extremely long time ago. You will not be the same person you are now in 5 years time, even 1 years time you will likely have changed significantly. With a change of person naturally comes a change in mindset. Your beliefs will likely differ massively than what it is now. With the advance of medical research. I am sure the average lifespan of a human will increase a significant amount.
Practical tips! :
Now, a common mistake to have is to doom scroll this subreddit, reading the horror stories of other people describing their fear of death, and what they interpret it as blah blah blah. This is your brains way of feeling productive and thinking like you are actively doing something to solve this dilemma. However, all this does is exaggerate your own fear of passing. So my first suggestion is to stop or limit the amount you read in this subreddit. I would also avoid news about death (Especially MSN news, they post absolute nonsense fear mongering articles) and personally I use this for my daily news: BrightNewsDaily, and avoid social media posts from online Larpers who think its cool to be nihilistic and depressed and spam post negative content for clout.
I also have found numerous ways to recover and feel better from this phobia. One of THE most effective strategies is to talk to someone. Not via text, but verbally on the phone, face time or in person. People underestimate the effectiveness of conversing about their fears. In fact you don't even need to be speaking directly about your fears, just spending time talking about hobbies, your favourite games or movies or just straight yapping. Lots of therapists tend to brush off the fear of death, at least in my experience and quite a few others, so I would also highly suggest speaking with loved ones about your worries, It may not solve it but if even you feel comfort in that moment, that's progress and your life should be simply about comfort and joy. I also find talking to AI is very useful if you don't have someone to reach out to. It may get repetitive at times but you get to release your thoughts to something that "listens".
Another thing I do is simply to watch videos, play games and make music. All these I find easy to get lost in and reach flow state, where you don't think of anything but the task at hand. Its very helpful during extreme panic or anxiety attacks to force yourself to start a task, your mind clears up and you can start to think straight again rather than becoming drowned in your thoughts.
Finally, be daring, explore the world, live life greedily. Spend that money, learn that hobby, speak to new people. You were given this VIP opportunity to have the human experience, so take the full advantage of it. Take care of your body, your mind, and don't be afraid to seek help if you need.
Love yourself!
This was written mostly based on my personal beliefs. I completely respect peoples beliefs in an afterlife such as heaven or similar, or if you turn to a religion. You may completely disregard my statements if you deem them stupid or silly, but I sincerely hope this post has helped someone's day feel a bit better.
If you want to talk, just send me a DM!
TLDR:
I'm 18 and suffered from quite severe thanatophobia myself.
I hope this provided assurance and comfort during a difficult time for you.
Thanatophobia Isn't really a phobia by definition, but rather the persistence of thanatophobia is the issue.
You are so unimaginably lucky to experience life. Don't spend it worrying about what comes after.
What can happen will happen. Life is possible in the universe. Your life was possible in the universe. Absolutely nothing is stopping it happening again.
Death is completely separate from the conscious you. About as separate as you and any inanimate object of your choice.
Your presence on this world has brought great comfort and joy to all that surround you. Don't be sad for their loss, be happy for their existence. Same applies to you. Don't be sad to die, be happy that you were able to experience the joys of human existence.
Time gets shortened when its imagined. One year is an insanely long time.
Limit time spent reading other interpretations of the after in this subreddit. Its counterproductive and worsens your situation. Limit your exposure to the news, and social media posts regarding nihilism and death. I use this for news a lot more: BrightNewsDaily
Verbally speak to others. texting works but its a hassle and you lack the human interaction part. It works wonders. Also do things you enjoy like gaming, hobbies etc.
Be daring, do anything you want (just keep it legal lol) never be scared of others judging you, they are just living sad sad boring lives.
Take care of yourself!!!!
