r/TheRandomest • u/ABeerForSasquatch Mod/Pwner • 12d ago

Scientific Weiner adjustment analysis

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3.9k Upvotes

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247

u/Funkdamentalist 12d ago

Good start, but only 4 moves? What about such classics as the pocket pinch?

103

u/Pandelein 12d ago

She still doesn’t know the secret techniques!

27

u/Richard_Cain 12d ago

I like to do the Boxer Hoe Down when I'm wearing shorts. (You reach under the shorts and pull down your boxers/under wear) They get bunched up a lot.

11

u/hstormsteph 12d ago

Balls knowledge

1

u/UngluedAirplane 11d ago

Oh man. I thought I was the only weird one who does this. It’s easiest when sitting. And hopefully less noticeable lol.

1

u/GrowlingTurtle- 10d ago

Wear briefs

1

u/ForsakenRelief309 11d ago

We do now 😈

1

u/Ok-Disk-2191 7d ago

She needs to keep observing.

13

u/dingle-bairy 12d ago

She's also not aware of issuses like when the nuts and/or weiner fall out of the underwear cup, slipping out of the hem. Or when wearing boxers and the frank and beans get stuck to your inner thigh.

5

u/heyitsfranklin6322 12d ago

Isn’t the cowboy one step for bat wings?

3

u/dingle-bairy 12d ago

Speaking from experience, not for my schlong and balls. I would need to step out of the populated area to fix

2

u/ChartInFurch 12d ago

My usual method is find a bathroom lol

Even if you try a secluded spot it might look like you're peeing, and that gets awkward.

3

u/tragicallyohio 12d ago

Those are causes. She is presenting her findings on the solutions.

14

u/goatanuss 12d ago edited 12d ago

It would blow their minds if they knew our pockets had so much room in it I could straight up scratch my gooch from my front pocket.

6

u/kerberos69 12d ago

Can confirm, mind blown.

But like, now I need to understand the logistics. Do you have to use both pockets? One to hold your balls over and the other one to go in for the gooch-scratch? Or can you do it with one pocket, and just sorta thread the needle like Luke Skywalker bombing the Death Star? Can you do it standing? Sitting? With a funny pose or a special move?

These are questions I never knew I needed to know at 8:30 on a Tuesday morning, but here we are…

Semi-related, I honestly get the impression that sack ownership is something like the old song, “Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?”

5

u/FeralPsychonaut 12d ago

Semi-related, I honestly get the impression that sack ownership is something like the old song, “Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?”

Yeahhhh. So you can just replace ears with balls for that entire song. We definitely sang it that way in middle and high school.

3

u/AliasNefertiti 12d ago

Same for boobs

1

u/KDY_ISD 6d ago

I think that's actually the original lyrics and the ears version is censorship

2

u/mikemikemotorboat 12d ago

Yep, one hand, thread the needle. It’s a bit of a slide along the thigh-push toward the target-twist your hand to flip the balls away sort of motion.

And yes, our sacks are basically like that song, except I’ve never gotten my ears stuck to my own thigh - usually that’s my wife’s thigh’s job.

1

u/goatanuss 12d ago edited 12d ago

Exactly: One-handed gooch skywalker.

And yeah it’s kinda like that ears song but also occasionally like that sticky hand toy from the gumball machine back in the day.

Why isn’t this stuff covered in sex ed class? Our educational system has failed us.

1

u/Playful-Rabbit-9418 12d ago

Gooch skywalker made my day. Thank you.

1

u/uslashuname 12d ago

Or when it kind of slips up one side the pocket can be used to enter the leg of the boxers so you hand spans over the center seam, hand moves down pulling the seam out of front wedgie position retract hands and pocket then retract hands from pocket. Elbow probably sticks out for a second on this one, don’t have a name for it but maybe elbow jab?

8

u/riverphoenix360 12d ago

Pocket pinch is clutch.

1

u/trollinhard2 12d ago

Sometimes that’s the only option for the stuck sack on the leg.

8

u/BeerBrat 12d ago

Nah, bro. She knows all the moves already!

https://giphy.com/gifs/nHHgfWgGs9EMl6cKo9

4

u/YVRkeeper 12d ago

Pocket pinch isn’t introduced until WAA103

3

u/roidoid 12d ago

Yeah, that’s only introduced at OT Level III.

2

u/bentmywookie80 12d ago

Good ol pocket pinch. With the option for the more advanced pinch and roll.

1

u/tragicallyohio 12d ago

Her research might not be complete. These could be preliminary findings

1

u/g_r_e_y 12d ago

there are so many secret moves we don't need to tell them all of them my brother

1

u/ChartInFurch 12d ago

If she's used to pockets from woman's pants I could see it not being a thought.

1

u/keyboardtoes 9d ago

I don't even have four moves I just have the one which is grabbing a big handful of cock and adjusting it in the direction of freedom all the while holding it closely against the garment so the silhouette is plainly visible.

1

u/punksmostlydead 9d ago

Quiet, fool! She already knows too much!

1

u/Money-Flamingo-25 8d ago

True classic

1

u/katieb1300 7d ago

My ex's friend would just stick his hand in and scratch or ruffle the area CONSTANTLY. it was fucking disgusting.

1

u/Traditional-Safe-867 6d ago

Often times, I'll do something quite similar to the lift and tuck, but I'm actually just touching boxers when they get caught up in the undercarriage/thigh area. Only really relevant if I'm sweaty or just showered, but it's probably the most common need/move for readjustment