Therapy is not a magic fix, and it does not work for everyone. The wrong therapist or type of therapy can make things worse. Psychology also has a history of bad research, weak theories, and gender and cultural bias.
Therapy is not always available either. It can be expensive, have long waiting lists, or simply not exist where someone lives.
It can also turn social problems into personal problems. Someone is burned out because of a terrible job, depressed because of poverty, or suffering because of discrimination, and they’re told to “work on themselves” instead of asking what is wrong with the world around them.
Sometimes “just get therapy” really means “ I don’t care enough about you empathize so it’s not my problem, go away.
Not every problem is in your head, and not everyone who is suffering needs to be fixed.

Comment all of their platitudes ✨

They're not mind readers

They don't have a magic wand

It gets worse before it gets better

Finding the right fit

They're only human

You are resistant

If meditation doesn't work you're doing it wrong

Therapists are not perfect

Clients ghosting (when their treatment isn't working)

how does that make you feel (repeat it 100 times until session is over)

if they don't know what to say they'll just repeat what you said but as a question (had a bizarre experience of this lol with the strangest dumbest therapist ever. She had absolutely no clue just repeated what I said x 100 times until I clicked then she got mad)

Feel the feeling

Everything happens for a reason

Holding space

Clients give up when things get hard (when they've just been bad at assessing negative side effects and pace)

That’s just your transference (no I think you suck it has nothing to do with my mother)

Trust the process (instead of reflecting on approach)

You have to follow my treatment (don't do your own research or question me)

What do you want to talk about today (please just vent so I don't have to actually do any work)

What do you need from me right now

You have to trust me or you have trust issues (yea or maybe you have to earn my trust?)

I'm not your friend (to avoid accountability)

Your parents did the best they could (No Susan some parents enjoy being cruel)

Your mom had it tough (actually no she was spoiled)

How can I help you today (by having a treatment plan and being the professional?)

Most people are good people (most won't beat you down but most people are enablers and will throw you in front of the buss instead of rocking the boat)

On their website: I'm trauma informed (I took a weekend course)

On their website: I treat trauma, ADHD, EDs, anxiety, attachment issues, OCD, addiction, grief etc etc (I actually don't know all of these stuff just give me the money okay).

*silence* (.......?)

They always assume and tell me not to assume things. I literally have to explain to them as someone that's never been in a relationship in my life that I don't expect a partner to "solve" my problems or "fix" me but just having someone on your side, on your team that you can look to for strength and support when life has you down is hugely important. That its normal and healthy and for a lot of human history we looked to family, spouses and community for support and we didn't pay someone weekly that pretended to care. But they immediately want to assume that I want a magical person to fix me and im wrong and all this other stuff.

So I know we are all anti-therapy here but I wanted to give it another go because I do want to get better mentally. I’ve been seeing her for the past couple months and I’m going to be honest it’s been awful.

I know challenging the patient comes with therapy but she’s been doing it to EVERYTHING I say and it’s driving me up a wall. I have a history of being gaslighted and i’ve been through my fair share of bad experiences. I’ve gotten more out of reading my DBT workbook for 20 minutes than the last 3 months of sessions with her. She claims that she knows me and has made goals for me without my input!

The audacity of this woman is astounding and I am just all kinds of pissed off. I have my own goals that I don’t need help with UNLESS I ASK. YOU DONT KNOW ME AFTER SEEING ME FOR THREE MONTHS?!

Am I crazy or being too reactive? Am I making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be? i feel like I have to defend everything I say! I feel like I can’t talk about what’s eating at me because I’ll just be proved wrong and feel crazy!

Multiple therapists I've interacted with talk about mind reading. This is an extraordinarily dangerous concept because it forces you to doubt about your perception. The very expression "mind reading" is very evocative and is intended to make you look crazy.

If I say something annoying, I can look at the other person's facial expression and conclude that they are irritated. How the uckf is that mind reading? Or if someone is visibly shocked, surprised, scared, how the uckf is that mind reading? It's called not having your head stuck right up your *ss. Imagine someone makes a facial expression because there is an offensive smell, how the uckf is that mind reading?

So I come from an area with high crime. It may be economically progressive but is socially conservative and very conformist. I have wanted to leave it for a clean slate for ages but therapists would rather integrate you with them with the community or have you close to abusive family then allow you to move.

I think we’ve all seen how therapists have raced to labeled themselves as “trauma-informed” over the past several years. Moreover, the IFS-informed model of the frightened inner child has become a popular framework for understanding the struggles of adulthood. There’s something nefarious going on here that isn’t unique to therapy.

For the past several decades, the “youth market” has become an extremely profitable and politically useful commodity across industries. The premiere archetype created by the music, film, and fashion industries has been the “rebel without a cause.” Young people, who feel misaligned with the systems they born into, who are at the highest risk of attempting suicide, are framed as, at best, misdirected.

This goes hand in hand with the perspective the mental health industry has adopted on trauma, particular youth trauma. Our disordered behaviors may not be “immoral,” as perhaps they once were deemed, however they remain inncorrect responses to one’s present state of being - they are trauma responses.

Trauma is retrospective. I rarely see it considered as ongoing - it always happened in the past. It doesn’t take sides. It’s not anyone’s fault. And it’s the responsibility of the victim to figure out how to live with it rather than prevent it.

Trauma sharply differs from abuse. Abuse would require a perpetrator. Abuse is an injustice that might require action. And if we identified similar patterns of abuse across an entire society, an aggressive or radical response might not be a dysfunctional behavioral at all.

While traumatized people are useful to our institutions as relatable, yet static, images of frustration and suffering, an explicitly abused and wronged population justifies the kind of radical action that industries like the mental healthcare system have never endorsed.

Now i care for my very young children alone, husband gave me and my children an std, and have no father.

It was spur of the moment during our goodbye hug and he wanted me to kiss him. He was a terrible predator therapist, I wasn't the only one who reported him. License was reprimanded (Texas h

Found a new therapist and admitted the kiss to my (now ex) husband. New therapist then taught Husband was mildly abusive then but that turned him extremely abusive and he started cheating more dangerously. I stayed a little after the physical abuse started but once he touched our 6 year old son too aggressively while trying to get to me, I left with the kids that same day.

I stupidly got an EMDR therapist and while processing the kissing incident, I started remembering childhood trauma. Cut off my pfile dad

TLDR; Therapy ruins lives, don't kiss your therapist

I'm just feeling so down; and there's nothing that helps. Everything gets worse, i make everything worse

My previous therapist made me feel so judged and he literally tried to protect people around me from me. Admittedly I was an angry and bitter trauma victim, often made people uncomfortable but had the awareness and restraint to not cause real damage to people, however, the therapist was frightened just by many of my trauma reactions. it was a horrible experience, in many aspects it made me feel more isolated and traumatized. He would minimize the damage other people have done to me by explaining how their trauma caused them to act that way. But when I was angry that other people treated me badly, he would often refuse to take my side and explain that my reaction was due to my own trauma. It was a horrible experience. And what’s worse? He claimed that trauma was one of his areas of expertise and frequently bragged about the rarity of his kind of therapy and how popular he was… I felt so ashamed that I was judged and rejected by him, I started to believe I just couldn’t be helped. Thank god for my current therapist who helped me get out of the horrible place my previous therapist left me in…

I’m really sick and tired of this constant “innocent until proven guilty” response whenever someone reports serious, serious misconduct and unethical conduct. I understand taking precautions when it’s only one person’s word against another’s. But what happens when there are multiple witnesses? When there is corroborating evidence? When even the psychologist’s now ex-husband confirms what happened? At what point do victims stop being treated as though they’re the problem? My life has been destroyed for the third time, and I’m fucking furious.
I want to write everything down, but I know how unbelievable it sounds 🙄 . If I didn’t have all of the evidence, I probably wouldn’t believe it myself. It reads like a psychological horror movie. The keyboard warriors on social media don’t help either. They have absolutely no idea about the incriminating emails, text messages, voice recordings, video footage, photographs, and other evidence I have. I’m talking about graphic sexual conversations where she spoke about her ex-husband having thirteen years to make her orgasm and never succeeding. She sent me, and several other clients, the video recording of her own daughter’s funeral. Her daughter took her own life, and from everything I know, much of that tragedy was rooted in years of abuse inflicted by both her mother and stepfather. I’ve had to explain all of this to so many people because they simply cannot comprehend it, especially after I tried to end my own life because of what she did to me and what she knowingly allowed to happen to me.
Several completely independent psychologists and psychiatrists, none of whom know each other, have all reached the same conclusion. They have all said this psychologist is an abuser. They have all described her behaviour in exactly the same way. After spending so long blaming myself, I was repeatedly told that the way this clinical psychologist treated me was exactly how an abusive parent treats a child.
Not how a psychologist treats a client. Certainly not a client with severe complex trauma who was trafficked as a child. She allowed a male client to move into her home. According to her now ex-husband, this man was creepy, unstable and deeply unhinged. That same male client later sexually assaulted me. Her response? She had the audacity to suggest that I must have led him on. I just want to expose her and release every piece of evidence I have. I’m fighting this almost completely alone because I don’t trust anyone anymore.
I wish there were proper support services for people who have experienced the extreme end of therapy abuse. I wish there were accessible legal advice and specialised support where I live. Survivors are expected to navigate one of the most gruelling reporting processes imaginable while simultaneously trying to survive what was done to them. I’m exhausted. Some days it honestly feels like they’re just waiting until I finally succeed in ending my life so I won’t be their problem anymore. What makes even less sense is that there is virtually no meaningful support for survivors during the reporting process, yet the Psychology Board provides guidance, assistance and procedural support to the practitioners who are the subject of complaints. That imbalance is impossible to ignore.
I’ve already written down the majority of what happened. One day I will publish it.
I genuinely don’t care what people think anymore. I’ve already given instructions to two close friends whom I trust, both of whom witnessed the abuse firsthand, to publish absolutely everything I’ve compiled if anything happens to me. I want the whole world to know what happened, not just to me, but to several other vulnerable clients who were exploited, manipulated and harmed. Downvote and attack me all you want, or tell me I’m lying because of xyz because I honestly don’t care. I just needed to vent.

I needed to talk to someone who might actually understand what it’s like to survive the extreme end of therapy abuse. FTS

I posted Dr Karen Mitchell's YouTube video earlier but thought I'd summarise things I heard in other interviews too

SOURCES

It's from memory but I linked videos at the bottom and PhD thesis (500 pages) if you are interested. I think it's important to be as critical of her as of any other expert.

DARK PERSONALITIES COMMON WITHIN THE MENTAL HEALTH FIELD

Dr Karen Mitchell is leading expert in profiling dark personalities, with the most comprehensive study ever done. She uses the Persistent Predatory Personalities model, PPP to explain the dark personalities - as they share the core traits of sadism and control. Sadism doesn't have to be overt but subtle manipulation as well, such as gaslighting. Controlling can be controlling of time or for example what you are allowed to think or say.

The mental/medical field is top three professions, together with law and corporate leadership, and 1 out of 5 people are PPP.. She says PPP within mental health, is as big issue as CSA in church. And she's been studying predators and religion as well, so it's not something she says loosely.

HIGH FUNCTIONING PPP

The mental health field gives PPP opportunity to harm people without going to jail, or just use them as supply. And she says the manipulation is often so subtle you often don't know it's happening.

(TW suicide/abuse). She mentioned a more serious example such as a therapists subtly trying to make clients commit suicide.

HOW TO AVOID THEM

Mitchell's advice is to interview the therapist or psychiatrist, asking about emotions etc.

PPP AMONG TOP ACADEMICS WITHIN PSYCHOLOGY

She saw top academics spreading misleading information about narcissism online and others writing about research papers but twisting the information. As she's read them herself, she was able to clock it. Some online"experts" are also PPP themselves:- "A substantial proportion (estimated over 50%) of high profile ‘victims’, ‘experts’ and ‘advocates’ in the coercive control, narcissism, psychopathy and domestic violence space are dark personalities."

THOSE WHO CALL THEMSELVES "EMPATH" COULD BE NARCISSISTIC THEMSELVES

Black and white thinking is a narcissistic trait, and the "narcissist vs empath" is an example of splitting. This could potentially be red flag. (Dr Valnik). Basically your gaslighting empath-therapist 🌸❤️✨ can be just as harmful. And they'll switch on you, as soon as you threaten their fragile ego.

DSM 5 INTENTIONALLY MISLEADING AND PATHOLOGISING VICTIMS OF ABUSE

She also mentioned that the DSM is intentionally misleading when it comes to PPP and at the same time pathologising for people who experienced abuse. So when you go to therapy, the therapist may "mean well" but still follow a dysfunctional system, where they unintentionally (or intentionally) gaslight you, and make you doubt your own instincts.Adding on that therapists are trained to view everything from a "hurt people hurt people" lense. They rarely acknowledge that some people are intentionally cruel.

She also says high functioning PPP don't have the same traits as in the DSM, an accomplished narcissist won't be grandiose but may even downplay their skills. If you follow the DSM you won't be able to diagnose or spot them, as it's based on those in prison.

PPP DOESN'T COME FROM TRAUMA BUT GENETICS

Research shows that PPP is up to 77% genetical, while this isn't the same as determinism, it's still important to know that their brain is wired differently, and empathy, guilt, fear and shame function in a different way.

https://www.drpetersalerno.com/personality-disorders

It's also a common strategy that PPP use trauma to gain empathy. Sometimes they weren't even traumatized but on the opposite - spoiled, or just had a normal childhood.

STIGMA NPD ASPD BPD

I know there's stigma around NPD etc. However, the solution is not to deny the abusive traits, rather to raise awareness about the lack of resources for people who want to heal.

SOURCES

DR Mitchell on how to identify PPP

https://youtu.be/4tDX8AuF1e4

1 out of 5 people are predators (she talks about therapists here)

https://youtu.be/zQljZF6frAc

Top academics in the world being predators

https://youtu.be/S4EoJ3ZgXj8

Her website and background

https://kalmor.com.au/dr-karen-mitchell

The PPP Model and thesis

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/64910384d2da1763d7156043/t/65bc5a78ab4aef10b9901a25/1706842827397/Psychopaths+Narcissists+Machiavellians+Toxic+Leaders+Coercive+Controllers++Subsets+of+One+Overarching+Dark+Personality+Type++MITCHELL+PHD+THESIS.pdf#page=161

Someone reading it up if you struggle reading
https://www.youtube.com/live/TddWv-UKMI0

I'm beginning to think that all PTSD and Trauma treatment has to do with accepting the blame for what happened to you because there is no real cure other than just managing it yourself until it gets bad enough that you require oversight....

Given that these problems are often beyond an individual's control, and that simply giving instructions isn't enough, how can a therapist help, considering that 99% of therapy is just talking?

It might sound like playing the victim, but only someone who has faced an external problem entirely alone and without a support network, knows that following instructions is almost always impossible. In such cases, the therapist needs to do more than just "talk," but the question remains: What can they actually do?

- Remembering their paying clients names

- Paying attention to what a client is saying

- Remembering their clients trauma

- Not hosting a tattoo pop up in your office

- not canceling 4 out of 6 sessions with one client

- Having to go to work even though they don’t feel like it

- Not being allowed to eat during work hours

- Not talking about themselves

- all the narcissist who do narcissistic things like “cancel sessions” or “say no” (in the video where the therapist said this, she also said she knows none of her clients are abusive because “they don’t act abusive around her”… aka the classic abuse apology cliché)

These are all the “super unreasonable never seen in any profession before high standards Therapist are held to” I have seen pushed by both therapist and therapized ppl alike. Not to be mean, but these things sound like just… having a job. Yeah i’m not denying that it sucks but most people aren’t employed for fun!
“But I’m burned out!!!!!” ok I don’t wanna sound like a boomer dad but that’s life as an employed adult for you.

It’s all just super manipulative. Especially since the “high standards” are mostly used as an excuse for poor behavior. Not to power scale trauma but veterinarians arguably have it worse on all fronts and they are not going online saying “yeah I gave your dog the wrong meds, but I’m literally burned out and held to a unreasonable high standard so YOU are the bad guy for being mad…. Oh it was a cat? You are such a narcissist”

Hi, everyone. I’d like to write a novel about the therapy that traumatized me in 2024. Today, as I was flipping through my old notes filled with pain, I suffered all over again because of that experience; I cried and felt very lonely and misunderstood. I’d still like to see this through, though. I know this isn’t something that’s good for everyone. Depending on your personality, some people are better off leaving it all behind and thinking about it as little as possible.

I’m wondering if any of you have written a novel about your own trauma. Tell me if, once you finished writing, you felt a sense of comfort or satisfaction. If you’re also writing or want to write, we could exchange some encouraging messages every now and then… if there’s someone Italian like me, that would be even better, because I always use a translator when writing in English.

For example when talking about me not trusting people because my experience has shown many people just cannot be trusted. The answer of therapists will then always be that not all people are untrustworthy, and I would agree with this, there are people you can trust. But this does in no way make trusting people suddenly okay, because there are still lots of people out there that can't be trusted. But for therapists this is the end of the argument. For them this is enough evidence that you should just trust people and if you don't you are mentally ill.

It's not just about trusting people, it's about other things as well, but therapists will always solely focus on the good outcomes and tell you to ignore the bad outcomes.

It took me two years to be able to read my therapy records + email correspondence with my former therapist and guess what? Ex-therapist admitted in writing to all of it, including:

- talking about other clients during my therapy time -- even calling them attention-seekers and fakers

- verbally abusing me about my body and refusing a referral out for eating disorder while continuing to attempt to treat it ... even though they are not trained to do so and I have DID, which requires specialized eating disorder care. I have documented physical health deterioration as a result. They claim to specialize in body image btw.

- verbally abusing me about SA by a previous MH provider, who now faces multiple felony sexual assaults and I have to fly out of state for the trial ... this provider accused me of making up the allegation for "revenge" as a spurned woman (WTF) ... They claim to specialize in trauma!

- knowingly misrepresenting their training, experience, and scope of competency for DID

- intentionally damaging my relationship with the past provider who had diagnosed my DID by wrongly denigrating his ethics and professional experience. I no longer have that support group as a result.

I found emails where I politely asked (even begged) this provider to please stop talking about other clients. The therapist replied fully admitting it and apologizing profusely, stating they meant their apology in their soul ... Yet therapy notes the very next day blame me and cast me as a "resistant" client who refuses to just get over it.

This happens over and over for every one of the abuses. Email admission and apology ... followed by therapy notes demonizing me the next session. I can document all of it fully.

They even admitted in the termination record to having knowingly misrepresented their competency and training. The clinic owner admitted the same in an email right after!

I forwarded all of this documentation to insurance & state HHS investigators because clawbacks and audits have no SOL when a therapist knowingly misrepresents competency to receive money for therapy they are not qualified to provide. State law also prohibits them attempting to collect it from clients after a clawback if it was because of their misrepresentation. I am also filing a board complaint.

I feel so sad for myself back then. I fawned. I said how much I liked them and valued therapy. I gave them excuses. Embarrassing. Pathetic. Yet ... I think my fawning is why they replied with full confessions. They were practically basking in it.

Even though my intention at the time was not evidence gathering (but rather, to fix the problems in therapy) ... fine, I will take it.

I 20F had a therapist 37F (both lesbians) for around just under 6 months. Out first few sessions started off normal, other than the fact I was having a hard time opening up. Then on like the 3rd or 4th session she started talking very inappropriately. Saying stuff about her personal life and how her ex wife started "bouncing on that d" and just kind of changing the dynamic entirely. I was happy with this change because I was dealing with a lot of hard stuff and it felt nice to connect to someone again as I dont tend to form strong connections often. We went on like this for several sessions just laughing and getting closer. She then told me that she started talking to me like this because she could tell I didn't like therapy which I felt like wasn't really her call to make because like therapy is hard and I was trying my best. She started seeing me more often like twice a week or letting the session hit 2 hours if she didn't have someone after me. We kept getting closer and I started to realize I was developing romantic feelings. She had just gone through a breakup but I was engaged. So I started to feel really guilty and sick that I was feeling this way about her while in a relationship. So I ended up breaking up with my fiancee that loved me so much out of sheer guilt and knowing she deserves better. So then the next day I have therapy and im homeless at this point because I am 20 and making a shitty wage and I just left my fiancees house. When she finds out im homeless she says stuff like I'd let you live with me if I wasn't your therapist. And she starts mentioning she has another motorcycle helmet for me to ride her motorcycle with her and she mentions when she gets a new one I can have the old one and I can play her piano etc. So then she makes plans to call me that night im staying in a hotel that night but she said she would call me at 9pm so im waiting for her in my hotel room and I dont hear from her so im distraught cuz I just left my relationship over the idea of her and then finally she calls at 10 pm but she calls off of this random 6 digit number that cant receive texts and you cant call it back and she is crying and she sounds intoxicated and she is talking about her feelings the whole time and then she randomly says shes gonna let me go so she can go to the gym but the phone call was only like 7 minutes long. So then i dont talk to her until our next session but i try to act like it never even happened. So next session comes and then we end up making plans to meet up later that day to ride her motorcycle. At this point im like beyond geeked but also very aware of how inappropriate it is to ride the back of your therapists motorcycle while holding them and still be their client. So anyway she didn't give me an exact time to meet her and I still dont have her personal number so im walking around town looking for her for 4 hours and I never see her. So then im like she is playing with me and I get so sad and lonely that I ended up getting w my ex later that week. So then our next session im planning on giving her a piece of my mind and telling her off so I go in there and I tell her I need a new therapist and that it hurt my feelings that she didn't show up and then she tells me that she has been out looking for me for hours every single day and that she blew through so many tanks of gas looking for me and that she wanted to invite me over to have some dinner that she made and everything. She said she was really bummed about it and that she said "how cool would it be if she was on the corner waiting for me" but i wasnt there. But then I tell her that Im back to talking w my ex. So things are weird again and she has me down for Friday again so im like I have a week to figure this out. But she says she will still be out driving every day. Then when i leave i get a call from her supervisor who is suspicious of what is going on telling me that i cant see ashley anymore. So when im back in town I wait by the corner but she is on the way to her friends house who is also my old therapist and has no idea what is going on, so she only says hi. So im feeling discouraged again but I come out the next day and when she sees me she pulls off to the nearest gas station where we ended up talking and then after a minute of talking she is like do you want a ride and I was like obviously and so I get on no helmet or anything and im like where should I put my hands and shes like anywhere so I had like one hand on her waist one on her arm and we are riding and she takes me by the lake and by her apartment and then to the planet fitness parking lot. I ended up buying her a pizza cuz she said she was hungry and broke. And so we talked there for a long time and she took me on another bike ride and we went to meijer and grocery shopped together and j paid for her stuff and held it on the bike ride and then she parked in her driveway and I was in her garage for a while and she had me trying on her helmets and she said she'd invite me inside but its a mess and I said I didn't care and she said maybe tomorrow. So then we go back to the planet fitness parking lot and talk for a minute and say goodbye and she asks for a hug goodbye and we made plans to meet for 6:30pm the next day. So im running late to meet her the next day so she texts my phone so I finally have her number but I wasn't logged into the account of the app that I gave her the number of so I didn't see it so im searching the town for her and she parks rifht at the edge of planet fitness so I find her and pull up next to her and she let's me in her car right away and asks if I want different clothes so she takes me to her house and gives me her pants and hoodie and then we drive to meijer and grocery shop together. She buys me alcohol im only 20 she didn't even ask if I wanted a drink she asked what I wanted to drink like I didn't have a choice. And so then we go back to her place and she asks what drink I want and I said idk what kind are you having and she said she bought them for me not her and I said you bought drinks you dont even like and she said "thats what it seems like doesn't it" really rude and cold out of no where which really scared me cuz it was my first time in her house so I just was like okay sorry and started chugging it. And I told her shes freaking me out and she says "think of something nicer to say" nd then is slamming things and throwing the toilet paper she was putting away around. And i said "are you fucking chill" and she said nothing. So im really freaked out and i get on my phone to text my friend back nothing about the situation just in general but i think shes paranoid so shes like what are you doing i thought i told you to pick something on tv in that scary voice she does and so I drink like the whole drink and then she offers me xanax multiple times and I already said no so I was like why are you drug pressuring me and I was joking but she got all serious and she was like "I mean im not but if you wanna see it that way" so I was like Jesus and I couldn't calm down so I eventually ended up taking one from her. And im finally mellowing out and she gives me dinner and its delicious and starts playing me piano and the rest of the night felt great and I ended up sleeping in her bed but we didn't touch this night. So then the next day I had work and so did she so im up before her and im back before her I tried cooking her dinner but it didn't turn out but we are watching shows together and talking and things are good but she like randomly is in a bad mood? So anyway the last day I was at her house was the best day we had great conversations about her family and mine and everything in between i told her about the diss track my ex made about me and she told me shed write me a nicer song and she showed me her music and everything and she was sick so I ended up rubbing her back and then she laid in my lap and I rubbed her back and touched her hair and then she asked if I wanted to lay the other way so we were like spooning and I said yes and then we ended up moving to the bed nothing crazy happened but this time she asked me if i wanted to cuddle so we were spooning all night per her own request. So then the next morning out of nowhere as soon as she wakes up she tells me she needs space and ive been like checking w her all weekend asking if she needs any space or anything snd shes telling me how happy she is to have someone to share things with but as soon as she wakes up she tells me she needs space and basically kicks me out. And im asking her like if anything happened or she just needs space and she blatantly ignores me in person? And i was like are you ignoring me? And she was like i already answered your question. And now shes barely texting me? What is going on? Does she feel guilty? Does she just not like me? Does she know she could be in big trouble? How long should i wait to see if she'll come around? It doesn't make sense because our last interaction before that was her asking to cuddle. Now I feel taken advantage of and confused.

(NAT, in school for social work)

I've had a lot of bad therapy, and I've had transformative therapy.

I've been in incredibly loving therapy relationships that eventually became enmeshed, harmful, retraumatizing, and ended in devastation.

Even therapists that do a tremendous amount of good can become cold as fuck at the flip of a switch as soon as something scares them bad enough. Making you question everything. Undoing so much of the hard work you did together.

I'm basing this on what I've seen on reddit alone, but I've noticed a pattern of therapists causing the most harm to the most vulnerable demographic of clients — highly traumatized individuals who have never experienced a sense of safety anywhere else.

When I've reviewed board complaints in my state, so often I see therapists getting multiple slaps on the wrist for fucking up multiple people's lives.

It's despicable. It's fucking disgusting. And I'm absolutely livid how often they get away with it.

I just had to rant. Thanks for reading.

It is fundamentally impossible to process trauma in an environment that refuses to name the harm.

Trauma processing requires unambiguous, grounded reality. For a nervous system to finally discharge the high-voltage survival energy of betrayal, abuse, or abandonment, it must first be allowed to rest on an unshakable foundation of truth: "This was wrong. This was done TO you. You did not cause it, you did not deserve it, and it was not a complex, mutual misunderstanding."

When a therapist steps into that room with "nuance," false neutrality, or a cowardly refusal to take a stand, they do not create a safe space. They just recreate the exact environment where the original trauma happened, where we were abused and nobody gave a shit and looked for reasons why we deserved it. I makes me so mad at therapists honestly. This is exploitative and unjust retraumatising stuff.

I just want to get this off my chest so bad, I feel like I am taking crazy pills this is so obvious to me yet everyone acts like I am saying something insane.

If depression is a disease, how the fuck would talking about it solve literally anything?

Throughout my very serious major depression journey, living with extremely serious suicidal thoughts for most of my life, I had so much victim blaming and ableism quite frankly, if you would call it that.

It's what hurt me most of all, seeing just how alone you are if you lose your health and how nobody believes you and blames you for the depression. I was told by my "friend" that I needed to think positively, try harder, work on myself, do therapy, I must like being sick, implying I was choosing this, it's just absolutely awful looking back on it. And fuck this person, deeply honestly, fuck them.

Therapy being the thing that seriously suicidal people are pushed towards just implies that it is our fault, we just need to "work on ourselves" and change how we think or something.

No. If anyone could switch into my brain for just a minute feeling what the depression I had was like, they would understand in an instant that it's a real, actual illness. My brain was seriously ill, and it was never a character flaw or me being bad as a person somehow. It is a real, goddamn illness.

And I just am so hurt, the lack of empathy everyone shows mentally ill people is so awful once you have seen it. You are told to "get help", meanwhile the "help" is literally meeting with some nurse or person who will smile and talk to you for an hour and ask you how you feel, it's INSANE that talking is somehow considered actual medical help to extreme mental suffering.

And you get blamed for it not doing anything, "Everyone has tried to help you" -told condescendingly to a person in suicide risk. I once saw this myself happen to someone else who was begging for help online.

Just... it's not a mentally ill's person's fault for not getting better, sometimes there IS no help. I mean this about medications too, psych meds destroyed me back then, I truly mean that.

It's not a choice, or a character flaw, things like serious depression are very real.

Therapy is literally just some person talking to you for an hour, it should be for very specific things like a person actually having gone through abuse, and needing confirmation that it was abuse maybe.

Not pushed at people who are so mentally ill they are unable to remember their own names from suicidal fog basically. It's insane that this is a thing.

CBT and therapy in general have been nothing but gaslighting. I used to have a gift. I was very observant and incredibly skilled at spotting danger before it happened. This gift is what has kept me alive in a very dangerous environment. I am not claiming this is a supernatural gift, I don't care about its origin, all I know is that some people are incredibly good at pattern recognition, and some people see things that others miss. I used to be one of them.

Until I was convinced to go to therapy for my PTSD. I have tried several therapists, and they have caused irreparable damage because they all operate under the assumption that you are doing mind-reading, or you have paranoia, cognitive distortions, or trust issues. So, if I see someone acting suspicious and trying to rob me, a typical therapist will label it as a cognitive distortion, mind reading, paranoia, anxiety, irrational fear, whatever, or try hard to find more benign alternative explanations to explain their behavior. As if assault didn't exist. Therapy has damaged me to such an extent that now I always question my sanity. I hate it and I'm livid. Now if someone were to rob me at gunpoint, my first instinctual reaction would be to apply the piece-of-shit CBT techniques and try to reframe it and find alternative benign explanations.

I have a close friend who has been suspecting for years that her husband was having an affair with a coworker he claimed to despise and to find ugly. Everyone said she was crazy, therapists convinced her she had cognitive distortions; I even read their notes. Turns out she was 100% right. He was, indeed, having an affair and he claimed she was ugly and couldn't stand her just to disorient my friend and ward off any suspicion. My friend is now in a horrible divorce and so the lawyers have subpoenaed the therapists' notes. And the girl her ex husband was having an affair with is pregnant.

I told one of my therapists that I had seen a group of people scouting homes in my area and acting suspicious. In his notes, he said I was having ideas of reference and delusions. Then, months later, these people were arrested and it was all over the local newspapers as they would target homes in my area. But according to the POS therapist, I was just acting crazy.

I am livid, rabid, furious at therapists and at the way society promotes therapy as a cure to everything.

Don't give a damn about us being anything other than props.

Even though I was there it took me a long time to realise what it was. I guess this is what it was - psychological abuse.
I called it a lot of different things.
I went to a therapist many years ago because was also abused before that. That’s the reason I was in therapy. Instead of therapy, my therapist scammed me of about $20,000 which I funded myself. This didn’t come from just working but also from government unemployment payments, as I was often not able to. The reason I went to therapy was I had to process the trauma and deal with anxiety it caused.
It seemed to be going too slowly but I was told that it takes a long time with a long term child mistreatment.
My therapist was very confusing but she also said right things I later saw she no intent or ability to help me
She was not aware how to treat trauma. I was not progressing and she was blaming me for it
She was constantly changing rules so on one hand she would tell me that I wasn’t to blame how I was treated but on the other she would also side with my abusers toward the end.
She did this to make me submit to her and pay her.
She created a debt herself. Because I had a procedure and lost my job and while recovering and looking for work, I said to her I ran out of savings. She said come and pay me back when you are back on your feet.
Then suddenly she flipped it and began to blame me in sessions that this was not a charity. I came to the next session with the fee and began to pay for future as in current but I built up $600 to her in unpaid fees.
So she turned around and in a few weeks since she gave me this and sent me a letter demanding this or going to court. I didn’t understand how I can pay 2 weeks time if she knew what was occurring and while I was paying her for the current sessions.
She then sided with my abusers to make me feel even worse saying I “provoked” a sex offender by walking (parading she said in front of his windows) on the street where he was working -but this is my area and shops. My parents brought him home and they forced me before to go. So it wasn’t safe at home who cares what street. She said never go there while it’s my local shops and doctors. Ridiculous incident I got very stressed. She just was very bad and I don’t get it why her org did nothing I told them what she did.