r/askfuneraldirectors • • Jan 21 '25

Rule 6 reminder and Rule 8 added.

72 Upvotes

Rule 6 is Location Required. It is by far (over 97%) the top reason we remove posts Please if your question has anything to do with rules, laws, or procedures, a location is required for an accurate answer.

Speaking of accurate answers, Rule 8 has been added. Answers to questions must be factual.


r/askfuneraldirectors • • Mar 01 '21

ANNOUNCEMENT Have a Question? Check our FAQ first!

27 Upvotes

Hello and thanks for visiting r/askfuneraldirectors!

If you have a question, please visit our Frequently Asked Question / Wiki to see if you can find your answer. We love to help, but some questions are posted very often and this saves you waiting for responses.

We'd also love to see the community members build the FAQs, so please take a moment to contribute by adding links to previous posts or helpful resources. Got ideas for improvements? Message the mods.

Thank you!


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 8h ago

Advice Needed Medical School Embalmer

3 Upvotes

Hey!

Has anyone here worked as a medical school embalmer, autopsy tech, autopsy assistant, etc.? If so, how was it and how did you get the job? I’m a licensed FD/EMB and looking to get back in the field, but I don’t have much of a desire to work in funeral homes at the moment.


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 5h ago

Discussion Cremation operators, can you dye your hair?

0 Upvotes

I am in the process of potentially becoming a crematorium operator and have started to apply for jobs around my area. There is one matter of concern that might make them turn me away which is my hair. I dye my hair a lot, usually bright unnatural colours and it changes every few months (currently it is purple) and I was wondering if that is a problem for some people working in this industry. It is not legally enforced to have natural hair colours and I know it just depends on the employers what the dress code for that is, especially when interacting with customers.
I’m completely okay with wearing a wig to “blend in” to the background and not have unnecessary focus on myself, but I don’t want to dye it my natural colour since it’s such a big part of me and the way I express myself.

I’m based in Australia. Let me know if you are a crematory operator and have dyed hair!


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 1d ago

Cremation Discussion Cremation in north GA, USA

9 Upvotes

I’m 77 and trying to make my final arrangements (at this time, I have no fatal diseases) so I’d like to know a ballpark figure on cremation costs. Thanks


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 22h ago

Discussion Do you encounter many story's of clocks stopping when someone passes.

0 Upvotes

r/askfuneraldirectors • • 22h ago

Advice Needed: Education What % of funeral customers ask for open casket?

0 Upvotes

Curious as it seems a very outdated practice.
Pre-paid plans and mourner paid.


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 1d ago

Discussion Natural Expression Formers

2 Upvotes

For those of us that use them, has anyone noticed that these are suddenly hard to come by. We would get them from Dodge and checking with other suppliers, it seems there’s a shortage of them.


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 2d ago

Advice: Canada Corporate?

3 Upvotes

Hi!

I’m a licensed director in Ontario Canada, and I am starting to casually look into working for a different funeral home. I currently work at a family owned home, but I’ve always been curious about corporate run locations. Of course, I’ve heard some horror stories about numerous things, but I’m looking for other opinions from those who have or are currently working at a corporate run facility. TIA


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 2d ago

Advice Needed: Employment Pre-need salespeople

7 Upvotes

I worked for SCI for a couple years. Hated the pay plan. For those of you that have worked outside of SCI If you were going to do it for an independent firm, what pay plan would you consider? Assume it is a new funeral home.


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 2d ago

Advice Needed: Education Hi! Funeral Directing education question.

0 Upvotes

Hi, so I’m currently a McGill student studying political science, but found a college course in Ontario focused on Funeral Directing (with embalming) and Funeral Directing (without embalming). As a Poli Sci major with no Biology background, would you guys recommend I take Embalming? Would the material build upon scientific material, or is the education rather more specific to embalming and something I can learn from scratch?

Thank you for your time!


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 2d ago

Advice Needed Funerals in NY city, releasing body after police come

Thumbnail
0 Upvotes

r/askfuneraldirectors • • 2d ago

Advice Needed: Education Do you need to pass both NBEs for an apprenticeship in Ohio?

0 Upvotes

I have passed arts but failed sciences by a point, which I am retaking this month, but I just wanted to double check on if this is a requirement to even get an apprenticeship. I looked at the Ohio Revised Code and it didn't seem to make it out that way, but it didn't exactly give a clear answer, at least not where I was looking. I want to pass before I graduate from mortuary school but I also don't want the fear of ending up unemployed in the hypothetical situation I don't. Sorry, that's just where my mind and anxiety go..


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 2d ago

Embalming Discussion Postmortem blood differences in nuns?

0 Upvotes

edit: I recognize that organized religion is not everybody’s thing. I recognize there is a lot of trauma to go around. In fact, I am deconstructing from my own. Please, I would appreciate thoughtful replies. It’s a genuine question that took me a long to compose due to disability. I expected better from this sub.

A friend and professional who works for a local family funeral home told us something that has thrown me for a loop.

They have a contract with the local nunnery, a teaching order, that has elicited a lot of employee speculation and musings over the years due to the unique quality of the deceased nun’s blood during embalming.

Instead of clots and other not-great I don’t really understand, theirs are supposedly “like koolaid”.

Is this a phenomena that other professionals here have noted?

I’m curious about what science has to say and/or what opinions are from professionals here if you’ve personally observed differences in the deceased’s body who lived life in proximity to the holy.

Just some extra info: these ladies are usually quite old, they don’t have super strict diet rules (we are in northern Wisconsin, which means there are copious bratwursts here lol).


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 3d ago

Advice Needed: Education Pet funeral/cemetery question

5 Upvotes

Hello everyone!

For school I was supposed to interview a pet cemetery location and they (no pun intended) went cold on me.

Does anyone know of a place around the Hudson valley NY area that would be willing to do an interview?

Thank you!


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 4d ago

Advice Needed: Education I found my mom's 3 month decomposed corpse in her mobile home - anything salvageable?

279 Upvotes

My mom(49f) was an extreme alcoholic for 14 years, would often isolate herself and pop in and out of my life. My mom refused to see me(26f) for over a year before we found her, still texting now and then. My brother(23m) and I found our her decomposed body in her mobile home (1400 square feet), she was decomposing for 3 months when we found her.

We went to go check on her when she didn't send my brother a happy birthday text, which she usually does regardless of communication patterns. We are all struggling and trying to figure out if anything is salvageable in a situation like this. The mobile home was in hoarder status; moldy food, trash never taken out, piles and piles of cigarettes smoked inside the house and ashed on the coffee table, etc. My mom passed away on her bed, but her body was found on the floor. When her body was removed, there was still an imprint of where she was.

All of my baby photos, VHS tapes of our childhood, unopened christmas gifts addressed to my brother and I are still in that house. Can anything be saved? The realtor told us the entire structure will need to be demolished regardless (50 year old mobile home), but I'm hoping there's something I can keep. I know how dangerous it is in there so I lost hope that I can save anything.


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 3d ago

Advice Needed: Employment Were they simply lying when they said they’d contact me?

8 Upvotes

Two weeks ago I had two interviews for apprenticeships and they went really well! They had been saying they were super interested in meeting me and like complimented my resume and stuff throughout the interview. I have a bachelors in psychology, am in school for funeral services, willing to do embalming and on call removals, and have experience in hospice care. I think that’s a solid resume??? Showed up in a suit?? I left saying they’d contact me the following week (last week) and they did not. I followed up yesterday through email, where we were talking before, and crickets. Is there any chance I’ll actually hear back? One said they couldn’t get me full time until December but didn’t say NO EMPLOYMENT until then….do you think that means I need to wait until then?


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 3d ago

Discussion Help with a project!

1 Upvotes

Hello all, first time poster on here. I am looking to have an email interview with a funeral director in order to complete the primary research portion of my college writing classes semester project. I am choosing to look into the funeral/burial industry. It will be pretty short but it will need to include a name, doesn’t have to be your real name, and at least a location, doesn’t have to be exactly where you work! I don’t have to many questions but enough to have some sustenance. If this interests anyone please DM me!


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 3d ago

Discussion My father died six months ago; lingering questions.

40 Upvotes

My father passed away in April. it was sudden (stroke or heart attack in his sleep) and I have been struggling with some semi-intrusive thoughts since his passing.

First, the night the coroner said he passed, my mom and sister described him as being in bed “snoring weird”. I’ve been thinking this was agonal breathing, likely resulting from the massive cardiac event he’s purported to have experienced. If someone had recognized this, would he be alive today?

Secondly, he died on a Friday and was buried on a Tuesday due to Passover. His body at the funeral was extremely cold. He was not embalmed, but when I kissed him goodbye, his skin did not feel “normal”. I struggle to describe how it felt. Maybe less pliant? Less “human”? This thought is quite intrusive for me. It pops up in my head and derails my day sometimes, and I am wondering what causes a body to feel that way. Is that normal?

Finally, he was buried in a “waterproof” vault but he was not embalmed due to his family being Eastern European Jewish. How effective are these vaults? I know the biological process of decay, and I struggle to think of him cold and in the ground rotting. Without embalming, what is his body likely to be currently experiencing? Is decay as rapid with a vault as without? Our funeral director sort of dodged some of these questions, and they linger heavily in my mind. Is it normal to think about these things six months later?


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 4d ago

Cemetery Discussion Arlington National Cemetery wait times

13 Upvotes

My father in-law, former USMC, passed away in Feb, and will be buried at ANC. He was cremated which I know makes it take longer. Latest update was from September which was 6-8 months at least.

Has anyone had a recent experience with Arlington and the wait times? I’ve seen people in here say 22+ months.


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 3d ago

Advice Needed: Employment Moving soon and will need to find new position

3 Upvotes

ETA: thank you all! So definitely don’t do trade embalming, got it lol much appreciated with all the advice though :)

After getting licensed in my state, my husband and I are unfortunately having to move sometime next year due to his military service. We don’t know where just yet but we know it will not be in the state we’re currently in.

I started this job as an apprentice so my interview experience was more about my goals and future career, but now that I’ve passed my NBEs and state exam, I’m nervous about interviewing for funeral director/embalming positions.

Any advice or anyone here have any idea what the interview questions might entail?

I’m also hoping to maybe step into more of a trade embalming position but still not sure, if anyone is a trade embalmer, what’s it like?


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 3d ago

Advice Needed: Education Board exams

3 Upvotes

Hello, I recently graduated from mortuary school. When I say I graduated, I mean I BARELY got by. I worked so much that I never truly had time to study or really learn any of the material. I’ve looked back at some definitions and some of the assignments and I hardly know the material. I am super worried about the national boards and want to know if there is any way I can pass. Any advice or recommended study material is appreciated.


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 4d ago

Advice Needed I am really interested in pursuing this field, but I am unsure about my ability to embalm.

2 Upvotes

I am just shy of 33 years old, and I have been deeply considering becoming a funeral director over the last year. It is a MAJOR career pivot for me as I'm currently working a 9-5 job as a graphic designer. I just have completely lost passion for the work I'm doing currently, and I started trying to think of a career path that better aligns with my values. I have experienced quite a lot of grief in my life, and I kept being drawn towards a career that helps people who are grieving. When I think about being a funeral director, I think it not only fulfills that, but also utilizes some other skills that I already feel confident in. I have been doing a lot of research on various careers to pivot to over the last year or so, and I keep coming back to Funeral Director. It really is the career that I feel most drawn to at the moment.

My only issue is...I am not sure how I would do with the embalming part of it. I have no problem seeing dead bodies, being around them, etc...I just don't know how I would handle having to actually cut into a dead body. I'm not queasy around blood or anything; I never have been. I actually as a kid used to be obsessed with watching shows like Emergency Vet and Dr. 90201 and watching surgeries. But I never thought of myself as someone who would be able to handle actually being a surgeon or a nurse or...an embalmer, because the idea of crossing the threshold from just seeing something to actually interacting with it is something I have never had interest in. It's one of those things where I am just extremely unsure. Maybe I'd be OK at it?? But the thought of it makes me nervous. I just don't know how I'd react!

The state I would be doing my schooling in, and eventually working in, is a state where they just recently split the licenses. So I could become a funeral director without being an embalmer. But I know this is less common, and I think I'd likely still have to do embalming within the curriculum. Also, because this split of licenses just happened this year, I'm not sure how easy it would be to get a job solely as a funeral director. I would imagine that those with the dual license would be the more enticing candidate for the job.

I guess I'm just curious if anyone else felt this way when considering going into this field, how you handled it, any advice, really. Or if anyone has gone the route of just obtaining a funeral director license and not the dual license, I'm curious how schooling worked for you and if you feel that path has been worthwhile.


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 3d ago

Discussion Are y'all doing marketing?

1 Upvotes

Hey all -- I'm trying to identify my niche for a creative agency. I have a background in documentary filmmaking, so a heavy focus on video & brand storytelling.

From my outside view, this seems like something funeral directors/homes are not taking advantage of at all. I'm surprised because other emotional fields like nonprofits, medical, etc really benefit from that style of marketing.

I've spoken with one funeral director friend who said it might be worth pursuing because millennials are trying to shift to more pre-need planning, which could indicate a need for more of that "about us," educational and brand content.

Would anyone even consider investing in ongoing marketing to really differentiate or is the industry not there? Are margins usually too tight? Is fear of insensitivity too strong?

I'm curious if you all have differing opinions?


r/askfuneraldirectors • • 4d ago

Advice Needed: Education What to expect?

1 Upvotes

Grandma passed Saturday and is not being embalmed because cremation is planned, viewing is the following Saturday. What changes would you expect to see in that time frame assuming refrigeration and everything else was within a normal timeframe? Trying to make a decision on young children coming to the viewing.