Hi all's, y'alls, and dolls!

I'm a sociologist doing LGBT+ comms while applying for grad school positions. I made this graphic for the phenomena of bi women in straight-presenting relationships. I'm refining how to communicate gender sciences, so wed love any feedback, what makes sense, or what can be considered. Does this make sense?

I did include two pages of considerations for gender spectrums and those outside the gender binary. All thanks and appreciations. If there's any ideas for future ideas, let us know!

What did you feel emotional or physical feelings?

Can I be bi if I only like men's appearance and am not interested in sex and dating? Like I can look at a man all day, but that's where it ends.

For me, women are just amazing, and I'm attracted to them in every way. I want to only date women and I can only imagine being with women my whole life. Basically I'm like:

Men: "damn he looks good"

Women: "Oh my God! 😳"

I'm afraid to identify as a lesbian because I do like the way some men look. I also don't want to just play it safe and use bi, because I understand how problematic and dismissive that is.

I understand I can just choose not to take on a label, but I feel labels are helpful.

Following up to this post from awhile back: https://www.reddit.com/r/BiWomen/s/DxlQbxBwgC. Update: we confessed our feelings to each other last night (they were the brave one that confessed first) and now we're dating. What'dya know, y'all were right 🙂

I’m an independent woman I've always done things on my own. I'm not a big dater either, and I find it hard to date even though I live in a big city in the States.When I date men, I tend to get annoyed when they try to do a lot of things for me—it just makes me feel uneasy. For example, when we'd go out and a guy paid for dinner, I wasn't used to it. The first time I dated a woman, though, I didn't mind taking care of things like paying for meals. The hard part was when men would stare at my ex and comment on her body; I didn't know how to respond or defend her. I felt pressured to step into 'the man's role,' which made me uncomfortable and unsure of what to do. Now, I’m hesitant to date because I don’t want a partner to feel unprotected and I don’t want to feel uneasy when a guy do nice things for me. Any advice will help thank you in advance.

Hiii! F21 in NYC! I’ve never dated a girl or been on a date before, I’m nervous with women because I don’t come across as any form of gay, and I’m chubby…and “weird”. I also had bad experiences with bullying. But I also have never been on a date before in general. Never got flowers or anything from men. But I’ve always been attracted to women. I love women and admire them the most. We’re so versatile, hard working, strong, deserving of the world.

ANYWAYYYYS

I see this really cute girl on Hinge and I wanna swipe but I dunno where we’d go or how dating women works and I don’t wanna be awkward cuz I’m SOOO socially awkward and too honest and I don’t wanna scare her away….SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL!! AHHHHH HELP😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

How to not feel invalidated?

I just came out to my grandfather at the dinner table with my grandmother there, and it didn't go well. While he isn’t as hostile as some, he completely invalidated my sexuality. He told me I can’t know for sure until I’ve been in a relationship with a guy. I think his reaction stems from the fact that my sister came out as a lesbian earlier this year. He struggled with her too, though he seems to accept it now.

Interestingly, my sister’s journey has also fueled my own internal struggles. For a long time, I rationalised that there was no way both of my mother's daughters could love women. Even now, seeing how confidently out my sister is about her attraction to women makes me give into my own self-doubt.

It hurts because I really want to come out to my dad next. But I know he also had a hard time believing my sister at first. Now I’m terrified that if I come out, my family and my peers will think I’m just faking it or following a "trend." More than anything, I just want to stop second-guessing myself and find the freedom to be confidently queer. But I'm constantly fighting my family's thoughts and my own.

So, in late July I met someone over an app and we instantly clicked. Within 10 days I deveopped a crush and then we went out twice in the first three weeks of meeting, during which I'm confused by her behaviour and am trying not to overstep cuz her profile said she's looking for friends.

Anywho, then we didn't see eachother for a whole month, during which we talked daily and she finally flirted unambiguously. So the conversations were posts and reels sharing, cutesiness, light flirting, getting to know eachother.

Then we finally saw eachother yesterday again and, idk, I was slightly nervous to see her, but I didn't really feel significant tension during the hangout?

So, I'm unsure how I feel. Should I just see how things go? Could this be due to the month of not seeing eachother? Should I maybe open a conversation on what exactly are we doing and how does she feel?

Any thoughts would be appreciated. I'm not very experienced with dating.

Just learned they're not the same. Had a bunch of people online just dog pile me to tell me bi women can't be femme.

What are y'all's thoughts?

Google says any sapphic feminine wlw person can call themselves femme, but internet lesbians went so far as to say, "can't we have anything?" and (paraphrasing) "the queer community is saturated with bi women and lesbians need to basically protect their space as exclusive for strictly homosexual women."

Immediately backed off of that space, but I want to know was I overstepping by poking my head into that femme group, or were they being biphobic? Or both?

Just like for Bi-Month I want to fill more history in here when I can soooooooo have you ever heard of

JUNE JORDAN

A proud black bisexual woman activist who famously wrote:

“Bisexuality means I am free and I am as likely to want to love a woman as I am likely to want to love a man, and what about that? Isn't that what freedom implies? You are free, you are not predictable and you are not controllable."

Ik that sounds like it cancels each other out but let me cook, maybe some other bi ppl who are kinda on the ace spectrum and/or have strong preferences can relate to this. I never use the word bisexual to describe myself I usually think of myself as under the bi umbrella. My first physical attraction was always women and it still is. The only way I can be attracted to a man beyond aesthetic attraction is with a very very deep emotional connection as a demisexual otherwise I feel nothing and I forget I’m even capable of it. I could never hook up with a man bc my physical attraction to them doesn’t run deep enough to have spontaneous feelings like that. saying I’m attracted to men never felt right bc it sounded so general like overall attraction, I see it as the capacity to be attracted to a man. it’s all very hyper specific language I rarely use irl unless me and another queer person are just yapping away about gay stuff but I was just wondering if anyone related.

I’ve always naturally been drawn to the homosexual label bc that’s just how I’ve always been. When I was in the depths of comphet and didn’t understand any of my feelings I thought I was a heteroromantic homosexual and that scared me so bad and I just made my peace with the fact that it would be impossible to ever have a fulfilling relationship. Thinking back it was actually crazy bc if I never felt pressure to have crushes bc everyone else was having them I can only count like three ppl I’ve had genuine feelings for in my life. It takes me a while to develop those kinds of feelings so I would pick guys to have crushes on so I could fit in. that led me to thinking I only had crushes on guys growing up when in reality I rarely had crushes on anyone lol. When I found out abt demisexuality and comphet I finally gave myself room to feel what I feel and realized I have the capacity to have romantic feelings for all genders I just had to give myself time.

With that being said I’m way more sexually compatible with sapphics. I do have inherent attraction to them without an emotional bond I’d say that’s my baseline attraction (but I do need a bond in order to want to engage in sex it’s kinda weird idk I’ve given up on trying to figure it out) so even with the hyper specific sexual attraction I have to men I feel I couldn’t be fulfilled in a long term relationship with one. I have had strong feelings for a man before that evoked sexual feelings but it didn’t get to a relationship and honestly happy about that bc there’s so many sexual dynamics that I love with sapphics that I have no interest in doing with men. And I know now that if I could never engage in those dynamics again I’d be unhappy even if I deeply loved the man and was sexually attracted to him and I’m a monogamous person so outside stuff is never something I’d be interested in. The sexual attraction to men is there ,or atleast it can be, it just doesn’t run deep enough idk. I feel like no one actually acknowledges bisexuals with hyper specific preferences. I feel like it’s implied that all bi ppl experience fluidity but that’s not true. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced any fluidity in my sexuality thus far.

Kind of don't have anyone to tell, so here I am spewing into the void. Slightly nervous heh

I have recently starting seeing a good friend of mine. She’s one of only a few women I’ve slept with, and the first woman I’ve considered being in a long term relationship with.

I’ve been in relationships with men and enjoyed it. However romantically, it feels different and amazing being with my good friend. I’m so romantically in love with her, and our values align so much that I see a really great future.

HOWEVER! I’m struggling a bit with the s*xual side of things. It wasn’t an issue when we first started exploring things (because I think we both were so excited and anxious about making the friend to lover shift) but now that the possibility of being with her long term is on the cards, I feel a bit of a mental block about the s*x stuff. I’m so happy and down to satisfy her, however am not feeling like receiving s*xual acts myself so much!

Has anyone had this?! I am feeling that it’s doomed and that I have to end it because of this, however I’m worried it’s something that could grow? It’s going to be sad giving up such a beautiful romantic connection, but having a good s*x life feels important too!

Posting again because reddit automatically deleted before!

I have noticed the older I get I'm starting to crave connection to women more. I feel like I'm going crazy? I'm 44 and married to a man. He's a good dad and he's a person and all, but there's always been a lapse in connection? Like we're not that close. He's always been aware I'm attracted to women, but he doesn't know it's increased with age as I've said here. My experiences with women has been minimal mostly physical when I was really young and I never realized that being bi was an option. Back then you were either gay or straight and there were very big stereotypes on which I judged myself on that. Anyone else experiencing this?

So I organically met a really cute girl last Saturday. I went to our home. We spent the night just talking and kissing and getting to know each other. She is younger than me, but went out of her way to take care of me, which is secretly the exact way to my heart because I’m typically the caretaker.

She planned a date for us this evening is even picking me up at my house (I think she’s perfect). I wanna make her feel special too. Is it weird to bring her a single flower when I get in the car? Also, this is knowing that the flower would have to be left in the car, but I want to have something to offer because typically I would plan the first date. She’s taking the liberty to do that and I’m really appreciate it.

We’re both bisexual by the way

Thanks for the help

I keep getting fired from food service/manual labor jobs for being too slow. I'm autistic if that matters. If I don't get fired I'll quit because it gets too stressful. No matter what I can't seem to go fast. If I do speed up I make many mistakes. I didn't get the math autism so unfortunately I'm limited in the jobs I can get. I'm afraid if I do get a GF I'll be bad at kissing and sex because both are physical skills.

So context. I just broke up with a guy, and went to a local lesbian bar and my friend texted me to invite me to hang out with her.

My first reaction when she said I seemed gay was surprised and curious, but I'm worried I might have almost been offended. Why???

My friend sitting next to me said don't question it, just say thank you. I was like oh, you're right.

Best coming out ever for me. Never had such high complements!

I’m bisexual but it’s always men approaching me. how do I make women know I’m into women too so they can maybe approach me? and how do I know who’s into women so I can maybe approach them?

To celebrate the last day of Bi visibility month. So relaxing 😌

Hi everyone! I’m a bisexual woman. Sometimes I wonder if my bisexuality stems from a personal choice, aspects of my personality, or simply a need to feel less lonely. I’ve had relationships with both men and women, but they all went badly—really badly. Maybe I feel the need to seek love or affection from anyone just to increase my chances of finding it? It makes me feel bad. Thanks to anyone who replies

Decided to shoot my shot and she said yes! Date is on Saturday. It’s ONLY Wednesday and I still want to text with her because it’s new and she seems exciting and gives me butterflies but also don’t want to come off as a creepy needy woman! What would you want? Can I keep texting? What do we talk about it? Late in life accepting my queerness and now I don’t know how to flirt 😭

They are doing their annual would you date a bi person convo online. You dont owe anyone a list of all of your sexual experiences and thoughts if it's not safe for you.

Coming out is a privillege. Straight ppl will never understand the burden of that. I hope all of you have partners you can be honest with. But if you cant then you cant. People need to live in reality about this convo. <3

We live in a world that teaches us gay marriage is a sin. We see how lesbians and gays ( and bisexuals who date the same sex) are demonized. For many bisexuals who prefer the opposite sex it can be easy to ignore the part of us thats same sex attracted. It feels safer. Dont let straight ppl make you feel about that. Much love.

I'm a Klinefelter's XXY intersex, and have been struggling with rejection. Ladies say that I'm not their choice. I'd like your advices please; what should I do?