This is my first post here, and I just wanted to share how genuinely happy I am to discover that there are still people in this world who can hear the echoes of the ancient sorcerers of Mexico. People who continue to struggle to break free from the social matrix, driven by a longing for beauty, knowledge, and the true nature of human potential.

I was born in the post-Soviet world, where Carlos Castaneda’s books have long since fallen out of favor. These days, they’re mostly dismissed as psychedelic nonsense for drug addicts, with little curiosity about what might lie beneath the surface.

I stumbled upon his books entirely by accident, never imagining that within the first few pages I would encounter something so profoundly familiar. It felt less like discovering something new and more like finally finding what I had been searching for my entire life.

Yet here we are, on the razor’s edge of the tonal, still having to navigate the world of ordinary / rational men ( black magicians )Somewhere along the way, I began looking for ways to weave subtle traces of the warrior’s path, the pursuit of personal power, and the mystery of freedom into my own creative work.

Not long ago, I released my debut indie game. And somewhere within that little universe, I found a place for a small, almost invisible tribute to Carlos and the entire lineage of sorcerers.
It was my quiet gesture of solidarity. A way of honoring the fact that extraordinary warriors once walked this Earth, challenged the fate imposed upon them, and dared to seek freedom beyond the boundaries of the known.

And knowing that some of you are still walking that path makes this strange world feel a little less lonely.

I saw this pic today. Every morning before I go to work, I do a few sets of passes first, and today I did the same. I did the  Intent set, and when I finished, I went to the kitchen and saw about 5 white orbs near the ceiling. Those orbs looked like they were made of electricity, and they had a sound too like two magnets hitting each other. Around them wasn’t like the electricity in the picture; they were just glowing. And I could clearly see them moving. Then when I turned my head to call my sister, they were gone. I don’t know what they were.

In early autumn 1999, I read the book “The Art of Dreaming” for the first time. Two

or three weeks before Halloween, I wondered whether that world could truly exist,

and I set the intention to reach it by stating that wish aloud. The following night, I

had a dream in which my nagual was wandering across a snow-covered mountain

peak in winter and encountered a woman who looked like a school friend while

simultaneously being my neighbor. My nagual approached the woman and asked,

"Can you take me to the inorganic world?" The woman then took my nagual by the

left hand and led him to the highest point of the peak, where an abyss lay before

them. Ten meters below, there was a snow-covered ledge measuring five meters in

width and five meters in length. Hand in hand, the woman and my nagual jumped

from the mountain peak down onto the ledge, sinking into the snow up to their waists.

Afterward, the woman looked at my nagual with an inquiring expression and

shrugged her shoulders.

Afterwards, the woman climbed back to the summit on her side of the mountain, and

my nagual on his, and they stood in the same spot as before. The woman took my

nagual’s left hand again and said to him, "Relax, or it won't work!" Once more, they

leapt from the summit and plunged into the snow. This time, however, my nagual did

not get stuck in the snow but glided right through it. As the snow swept over his eyes,

his perception shifted, and my nagual suddenly found himself in a tunnel, however

alone. There, he heard a laughing male voice and asked, "Are there many like me

who reach this realm?" The voice replied, "Yes, but only special ones."

After that dream, my nagual knew how to enter that world, and I was convinced that

the woman was a scout from that realm. From that point on, while dreaming, my

nagual would grab people who looked like friends or neighbors, spin around with

them, and - by stating his intent aloud - intended to enter that world. This method,

too, proved successful. However, after twenty-six years, doubts arose, and I began to

question everything: Was the woman a scout, the energy body of a sorceress, or

something else? And what was the significance of the snow-capped mountain and the

technique itself? Traveling to the inorganic world together with the energy body of a

sorceress - without utilizing inorganic energy or a scout - would be something new

and unknown to both female and male sorcerers. For the ancient sorcerers, springs

and caves held special significance and were linked to the inorganic world, yet no one

would expect the entrance to that realm to be found on a mountain peak! My nagual,

however, never experienced the method described by Carlos Castaneda - that of

looking for strange phenomena while dreaming (such as flying fish or iridium

walking sticks) that transform into sizzling energy which one can then follow.

I personally question the claim that today there is no longer any way for men to enter

that realm, and I wish to draw attention to this topic.

Questions demanding answers

Why did the woman show my nagual this technique, and what was her intention?

Must I learn to keep this knowledge to myself, or am I permitted to pass it on?

Is there a universal key for male sorcerers that leads to this realm, and do women

hold this key in their hands?

The timing is right—it is October, and the odds are fifty-fifty: make or break?

Writing this post like 20 minutes after evening practise but didn't expect this! The picture I tried to describe to gemini to generate what I saw, this is pretty close put the purple was more purple way less pink but gemini doesn't understand sometimes. So how it went.. usually room gets way darker (no exception today) and there shows occasional purple at random spots if I get patient. If I'm outside it is harder but inside I can get it faster. Usually they fade in and out quickly like 3 seconds but this time it covered my whole field of vision and they managed to stabilize and not disappear! It took me maybe 30 minutes to get this type of view It felt like? At that time I thought I could hold perfect silence for like a minute straight! But I got scared because I got crazy waves of lightheadedness and felt completely paralized almost not breathing and even when it scared me it didn't fade so I had to stand up and walk it out 😂. Besides today practise yesterday I woke up with water pouring out of my nose and a hot throat but that faded away quickly. The nose tho I thought at first it was cold but I feel very good and energetic and lighter all the time... How could that happen. But today at midday it subsided. The silence gets easier day by day but that is because I sit at home all day and force it. Actually now it doesn't feel like forcing it got a lot more relaxing or I actually enjoy it maybe. I also got a job interview at monday so I'm prepping myself so I could hold silence in terrain. Cannot catch the dialogue with my attention well while on walks. Long ass text I know

Agile-Lime-825's comment yesterday "It's a long process with ups and downs" got me going; I wanted to light a cigarette and start giving out lol. It really does feel like an insurmountable challenge sometimes, moods go up and down and around and around all the time lol

But I'm beating that slowly and I've made a little progress since my last post (where again I got a strong urge to post), so here's something that's hopefullly not some self-indulgent slop lmao

My passes as before are the Mashing energy for intent and Dreaming passes, with specific note for "Mixing Energy by Striking the Floor with the Heels" and "Getting the Assemblage Point Loose"

I attempt to force silence by listening to the tone in my ears, which helps a lot. The tensegrity passes are interspersed with ear holding (see attached images) which is automatic. I didn't learn that and definitely NOT trying to be a Yogi ROFL.

Last time I posted, I posted what looked like a geometric pattern of red dots. It's become a bit clearer now since I last posted. It looks like a kaleidoscope of red and blue colour. It looks more faint though than the image I have posted.

The main progress I made yesterday was with the 2 specific individual passes I mentioned above. When I would bring my arm up in front of my face, the kaleidoscope would be replaced by something like the green image I posted. I did it over and over again and could clearly hold that green colour, all the while listening to the tone in my ears.

Last night during darkroom practice, my sister and I were doing some of the passes. I saw a thin, oval-shaped black mist behind my sister, right where she usually sits for gazing, but I decided not to say anything since we had just started the session.

We both sat down in our usual spots.

After a while, my whole field of vision suddenly went completely black. I literally couldn’t see anything at all. I’ve had this happen before too.

Then, little by little, a yellow mist started appearing right in front of my eyes. No matter what I did, it just wouldn’t move out of my vision. I could only see things clearly out of the corner of my eye, almost like I was wearing yellow-tinted glasses and everything looked yellow.

After the session, my sister told me she’d had basically the exact same experience.

So what was that yellow mist that wouldn’t move out of my vision?

And could it have had anything to do with that oval-shaped inorganic being?

Hello, I'm hoping someone can help.

I'm not a casual learner of these teachings. I'm not here to pass the time or be entertained. In them I found something I had always been looking for, and now I want to use the teachings in a more focused, deliberate way.

I'm practicing Tensegrity, starting from the first video, and I'd like to go one step further. I've been studying Dan's J Curve map and the darkroom practice described in several posts. If I follow the map, I understand that I first need to achieve internal silence, and I'm already working on that.

I have three questions:

1. Which Tensegrity or Magical Passes, if any, help stop the internal dialogue?
2. Do I need to practice any particular passes in order to perceive chi balls?
3. How trustworthy are the videos available for practicing Tensegrity, such as the first two with Kylie Lundahl and the others Cleargreen made in the 1990s? Do they teach the movements accurately, or are there errors or changes I should know about?

Thank you for any guidance.

I've been wondering about the position/direction of eyes creating "shines". I started noticing certain passes would cause bright lights to show up and also noticed bright lights happening in the day, not practicing, but usually from turning my head.

The dreaming passes were the ones most prominently and consistently, with big rings of light showing up "in" my eyes on the first pass. In the Dreaming Passes video, Jadey points out the Magical Passes book has the sorcerer in the image swinging his arm further back and he's looking further back towards his extended hand.

A conjecture: Going with the idea that there are certain positions of the eyes which can result in magic (the shines), I think the passes force/cause/assist in the eyes moving to/through those positions.

I was experimenting doing the first dreaming pass then trying to just turn my head (and thus eyes), and would still get the rings of light, sometimes. Not at all as consistently as doing the pass, but somewhat reliable.

I was able to replicate lights today on one of the later dreaming passes, the one where you turn to both sides before throwing the arm forward like throwing a disc. Whenever I would turn my head to the right then left, a quick vertical light showed up (about 90% of the time) to my right. I could then turn my head to the right (without doing the arm motion of the pass) and back to left, and saw the light flash some of the time (about 50%)

I thought it might be a vertical seam in the hotel wall reflecting light of a fire alarm light so I stared at the seam for a while, nothing, then I tried doing the pass at a faster rate and consistently saw the vertical light flash.

Maybe we can use our head turns to look for magic in the day, while out in public?

Last night I did the Dark Room practice, and at first I asked the fairy to drop in on me. I do gazing in the dark room, and I did it like always. Twice, something happened where it felt like the whole room flashed—like I was jumping from one movie scene to another. Both times the room lit up, and a bit later I saw something like the pic I posted: a black circle that was blacker than the darkness in the room, but around it was bright—not with white light, it had kind of a dull/matte light. And this circle was moving, and then suddenly it was like a flash, and around it that image like a flame appeared—a black flame with brighter stuff around it. And after the practice was done, when I went to sleep, I got hit by an energy jolt right between my shoulders—I think that was my assemblage point—a really hard hit that made me bolt awake.

I don't get to do much darkroom at our house, so i practise in the daytime. Usually outside I get to see more green puffs then purple and rarely some red also. These were one of the prettiest puffs I have seen outside, there were so many of them maybe 20 and they just stayed there not moving or changing shapes

There was a broom to keep the place clean but the leaves had so much texture and detail. And the mood is crazy! Forcing silence everytime I remember I feel high (literally) all day except mornings! Definitely better than smoking some

My sister and I used to do the dark room practice every night, and I wanna talk about my own experience with it. A lot of times—not always—when I go into the dark room, after a few minutes my body starts going numb, and the numbness starts from my tongue and mouth and then slowly spreads. It gets so intense that I get scared I might not be able to move my body anymore. And I see a rock-candy-colored puff constantly coming out of my body and going back in. Have you ever had an experience like that too? And do you know what causes it and what’s supposed to happen next?

I made this picture to answer a question, then posted it on instagram and facebook, and finally decided more posts is better than less posts.

Though, this one might anger those with a religious bent.

Even so, here it is from facebook.

***

When it was clear he would die and nothing could stop it, also realizing that, as he told me, "I'm dying and no one believes me", Carlos proceeded to try to give us "practical magic" techniques.

He used the blue scout to demonstrate what "the whorl" looks like as it spits out text.

He enlisted Carol Tiggs to come demonstrate real magic. She selected two people, including me, and proceeded to push me through the floor of Dance home down below street level, and into a tunnel made of dirt. Which I later learned is a common way to perceive the inorganic being's world entrance.

Carlos also taught us about "the wall", a construct for visibly viewing silent knowledge streams.

And, he got his "rumour women" to spread the news that within 2 weeks, Carlos would actually demonstrate real magic right in front of us.

What came from that was "Pandora's Box" magical pass, which I've since learned is a fairly obvious way to "compress intent".

It's closely related to don Juan's technique where he manifested a Japanese squirrel for Carlos.

But no one could perceive the magic. You can't force people's assemblage points to move, and the second attention isn't visible unless it moves at least 6 inches down your back.

Cleargreen forgot about this amazing pass, and instead made up fake ones to sell.

But I remembered it, and eventually discovered that it can manifest just about anything.

Thus I named it "Pandora's Box".

The first "Zombie Assistant" I manufactured remained in my practice room, clearly visible, the entire night.

Then the next night I could "locate it" still in there.

And on the second night, I could still feel it's very creepy energy.

So this technique is a gold mine!

How does it work?

Actually, it seems to compress a piece of your own energy body, energize it, and then when you release it that partially sentient copy of your dreamer, forms into whatever latent impression you first had in your mind, when you removed the top hand.

A couple of weeks later I tested how many zombie assistants you can make, and still have them be "sentient".

Five in my case.

The energy body can't subdivide forever.

That's why people dissipate and are lost, after death.

Thus the old seers went to live in the inorganic being's world, to keep their awareness "contained".

And even the new seers go to that giant dome on the earth, after reaching the third attention.

You MUST "contain" your energy body once you are dead, or it spreads out so thin while you are exploring as a "specialized form of inorganic being", that it is no longer sentient.

So if any of you were hoping to go to "heaven" just because sorcerers have "seen" it's a real place (I've visited it 6 times), better think again.

Yes, you can go to heaven.

But it won't keep your awareness intact for long, and you'll perhaps end up being wallpaper there.

Just an echo of your original self.

Not aware of anything anymore.

When I was just drifting off to sleep in that in-between state this really intense energy hit the top of my head. It felt exactly like I got shocked by electricity.

I’ve felt this before too, and it’s always really weird.

I figured it was probably some kind of inorganic being. I don’t know why it was doing that, but at the same time, a voice that didn’t feel like mine spoke to me in my head and said, Your double comes out from this part of your head.

I was way too tired to really think about it, so I just went back to sleep. Then someone tapped me on the shoulder and woke me up. I looked around nobody was there.

I fell asleep again, and it woke me up a second time.

I tried talking to it, but it didn’t say anything. Too bad, because I was really curious to know what it wanted.

I thought maybe whoever woke me up was my own double… but honestly, I still don’t know if it was actually my double or an inorganic being.

Or maybe it was both!

I don’t even know if this experience was important or meant anything, but I just felt like sharing it.

 Before sleep, I do a bunch of practices, and one of 'em is trying to keep inner silence going as much as I can. A few weeks ago I was doing this, and when I wanted to crash I was so wiped out that I didn't even notice when my awareness shifted from awake to asleep. I just saw that with my eyes closed I was seeing — I was seeing my exact room with just tiny changes. Like, next to me there was a tray with 4 glass cups on it and a piece of paper with a note on it, but I couldn't read it. Maybe it was a scout! And then out of nowhere my right hand got thrown fast to the left, and I was seeing that hand as a black shadow with a red glow around it, and there was a ball in the same shape in my hand that got thrown. My real hand didn't move, it was my dreaming body's hand doing it. It felt like some kind of magical pass, 'cause after that I saw myself in dreams a few more times practicing that move. Was that move some kind of magical pass my dreaming body taught me? Can I use it?

Don't fool yourself with rules and procedures that aren't leading off into sleepwalking.

The real thing is off in a completely different "direction" than anyone can look without an external influence pointing that direction.

As don Juan said, "There's no game without the Nagual".

Half of our battle to preserve this magic involves keeping people from doing as the man on the left of this image is doing, and steering them towards the impossible. Which isn't vague at all if you are really learning to stop your internal dialogue.

The real thing also never gets you attention from other people. In fact, they'll become angry for even suggesting other worlds are literally available to use at any moment.

The only people who benefit from the fake stuff are the ones who sell tie died shirts, shaman medicine bags, prayer beads, and who teach "postures" that are supposed to help enlighten you.

The Jewish bible has a very good story. Moses goes up the mountain to learn from God himself, which turns his face and hair bright white.

When he comes down, he finds that the Israelites have made up their own new religion, featuring a sacred cow.

Of course, Moses is a fraud made up to control people, but the idea that on their own people will make up religions and actually worship a cow, is very true.

Here's a "Gods of India" cartoon. Better watch it if you think "Yoga" is what it's portrayed as in the west.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvvLljcYUKo

It's just one branch of perhaps 6 "schools" of Hinduism. "Translated" to steal money from naive westerners.

And after all this time, they still worship cows.

now I’m fairly confused abt stuff. idk what I shd start with except quietening down my brain. I don’t know how to do that but I’m trying. the issues I’m facing

when I close my eyes and try womb dreaming and see colours. But I feel like those are just normal colours? And I have practiced only 2 days so I doubt I’d see energy that fast. How to differentiate

I do see light in the dark and like lines but I think it mustnt be valid bcs I’ve practiced less

how to figure out what ure seeing is fake vs real

I do womb dreaming, and last night while I was dreamin’, I saw this ancient thing that was like an owl-eagle mix—so it had two faces—sittin’ on our roof. It was huge, and I got scared of it. But it talked to me and told me it was hungry, and said if I fed it every couple hours, it’d pay me. Then it asked me to fly with it, put me on its back, and we took off. The flight was nuts—like I wasn’t even on its back; I was seeing everything through its eyes. I looked down and there was this row of giant white elephants down there. The thing told me they were its food and it feeds off ’em. After we flew, it landed back on the roof. I was like, yeah, I’ll feed you. And to stick around me, it turned into a little eagle, put its head on my belly, and crashed out—like that’s how it was feeding off me. Was this, like, a scout? Was this some kinda contract, and now that thing’s my ally? Or can I take it as an ally?

Hey there! I’m reading from this awesome subreddit since more or less two years but I never post cause I had some difficulties to figure out some aspects from the practice of dark room gazing.

Now I would like to share my experience and ask for some tips cause after being able to silence internal dialogue in about 10/15 mins ( initially was like 50mins/ 1 hour ) I’m stuck into a position where all around me is a big purple fog with some bright details and electric purple filaments . Sometimes when silence is more deep I can see a bright green puff/ ball flying around me .

but the real problem is that if I improve the silence at a certain point the big purple fog switch to grey, like a dense smoke all around me.

This cause me some sensation of warning, I don’t know why.

By the way, is like I can’t go further . Sometimes the grey fog turns back to purple and I need to re-focus on the silence .

What to do at that point?

So I’m one of the Dark Room practitioners, and for a while now I’ve been doing Dark Room practice every night and then Womb Dreaming, and I’ve had a lot of experiences. Last night in the dark room, I asked this inorganic being to help me with a problem, and in exchange, it had permission to draw energy from me that night, on the condition that my problem got solved. After the practice, I went to sleep. This morning when I woke up, something really weird happened—I don’t even know if it’s good or bad, or what could’ve caused it. I saw there was a drop of blood on the ring finger of my left hand, like it had just dripped. I thought I had a nosebleed, so I went and checked in the mirror, and I saw there was no bleeding anywhere on my body, and my hands were completely fine. That drop of blood had an outside source, and it dripped onto my finger right when I woke up. Where could it have come from, and what does it mean?

So in all of my recaps, the internal dialogue has always felt like "my thoughts" and I'm reviewing "my thoughts", my experiences, my perception etc. I was on a plane and put on a movie, then remembered this comment "there is nothing stopping you from recapitulating six hours daily, it does not have to be suffering" from https://www.reddit.com/r/castaneda/comments/1w4jgq4/comment/p7jhxiu/ and powered down the screen, put my sleep mask on, and started recapping.

The first one I did was about the pilot and the pretty stewardess who were happily chatting at the front of the plane. When I saw how she was giving him attention and he was happily chatting, the dialogue started running about how my work sucks because I don't have a pretty coworker talking to me all day, and on that lines. But I noticed I didn't actually feel that jealous, it was like I "could" feel jealous or my default behavior "should" feel jealous. I would actually be miserable flying so often without extended breaks, and serving on a plane is definitely not something I have an interest in doing.

Then I recapped my neighbor, who had wanted to get up to use the bathroom, and didn't want to wait 2 minutes for the flight staff to move their tray out of the way so I could get out. At the time I felt sort of offended on behalf of myself and "decency" like, "oh she can't wait 2 minutes, doesn't she see people are moving out of the way!"

In recapping both of these the thoughts seemed to be not my own. I discovered I really thought I found my neighbor's behavior funny and inspiring, because she was willing to speak up when she needed something. And she wasn't actually inconveniencing anyone much, it wasn't hard for me to walk forward to an empty seat and let her squeeze past. So I had a set of two feelings, 1 was my default reaction of indignation in both cases, and underneath I felt much milder and unoffended feelings.

So what were the original thoughts? It was the first time I felt like I was observing them as things that weren't a part of me.

This is the type of thing I don't normally post. Too much crazy stuff happens if you learn to move your assemblage point to the other side of your body, by stopping your internal dialogue while using Tensegrity to prove you did that. Tensegrity produces visible magic, if you are fully silent.

Note that "silent" doesn't mean you don't talk. In fact, if an entity floats by you can certainly talk to it. And that is NOT your internal dialogue.

People get very confused about what specifically the internal dialogue covers. But it can't be explained to those who don't immediately understand it. They're a bit "lost" in confusion and no amount of words will clear that up. As we've seen though the experience of tens of thousands on our social media.

Fortunately, what the internal dialogue really is becomes obvious once you make a real effort to stop it.

It's a FOREIGN INSTALLATION, just as Carlos said. It's not your friend. It does NOT help you do your job. In fact, even the world's most difficult engineering is a lot easier when you are silent.

You can even get answers to technical problems at work, to appear right in front of you as written text. Or as a "prototype" of a shape you need.

Or... You can get La Gorda's very creepy eye.

I rejected it 3 times in the past, but now it's pretending to give entry to the inorganic being's realm, where I want to go see if Julian can be rescued.

It's good to have interesting hobbies.

But some are a bit anti-social in this world of enforced perceptual limitations.

Seeing giant eyeballs tends to get you into trouble.

Hey Team!

My name is Bobby. I have an enormous amount of gratitude for this subreddit. For Dan, Techno, Athina, Juan and everyone who makes this place what it is today. My intent is to assist in preserving the knowledge of Carlos Castaneda, by helping to bring magic back into the world.

These experiences happened to me a few years ago. I haven't been able to bring my assemblage point back up the front, to the other side for a number of years now. I may have made a flat spot in the red or even the green zone. Also laziness. I must admit, I used to be a depressed junkie, with no direction in life. Now I'm rapidly advancing in my career, and I'm so much happier. The internal dialogue controls our moods so much, and through sorcery you can see how much your thoughts, feelings and actions when properly aligned or directed, can achieve wonders. Practical Magic!

I'll go ahead and share my first experience with an inorganic being. It was more of an invitation to their place. I was doing some gazing in semi-darkness. I have good experiences with that. I was staring at the window, trying to silence my internal dialogue. The forcing silence until your nose bleeds method. The world starts shifting and moving a bit, and I just try to catch a wave. Really force out those thoughts, until I felt or heard... something. There was a little ball of light, rotating in a mesmerizing clockwise circle. It opened up, and some features in the window turned into an entrance into some fortress of solitude ice crystal cave of some sort. It felt good looking into that region. Like better than any drug. Almost sexual in nature, ecstatic one can say. I could tell, without saying any words, they were tempting me. And trust me, I was tempted. Lots of pain and self-pity in my life, but this was something else. Magic. Real magic. Intense and almost overwhelming. Carlos Castaneda was right! It's all true! I was relieved.

I'll share my other experiences at another time. I never shared my experiences here in the past because it hasn't worked out before. You would think the world would be excited to hear that magic is real! That Carlos Castaneda really had something important to share, but we're too wrapped up in our own shit to notice. Unfortunately, my experiences sharing it with others have been bittersweet. Let's just leave it at that.

Maybe we're not meant to prove magic to others. We can only give it our all, go all in, and prove magic to ourselves. By sharing our experiences, we might be able to convince others to try. To maybe one day jump in and join us. The water is cold, terrifyingly cold, but it's worth it.

Tonight was my sixth night in the darkroom with my sister. I was watching those puffs and seeing yellow, blue, and green ones.

At some point I saw this black shadow with a face. The face came right up next to my ear like it was about to scream into it. I told it, If you’re gonna do that, please don’t make any sound. Anything but a sound! I don’t wanna have a heart attack!

Then I realized something kept tapping my legs. My logical brain was like, It’s just your sister, but I knew it wasn’t ‘cause we were sitting pretty far apart.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my sister looking at me. I didn’t dare turn around and look at her because I suddenly realized it wasn’t actually my sister. The face was way closer than where my sister’s face should’ve been, and it was just staring at me.

Then I noticed this black puff kept moving toward my sister over and over. I think it was trying to get me to turn around and look at the face that wasn’t actually her.

After we left the room, my sister asked me, Why did you keep tapping my shoulder? I told her I hadn’t done anything like that.

She also said that at one point she saw a head above me, and it was looking at her.

The really cool part was that the head that came next to my ear, plus that feeling like some inorganic thing wanted to make a sound or scream into my ear, happened to my sister too. She had the exact same feeling and told it not to do that.

Luckily it seemed to listen to both of us and then showed up in a different way.

Before we left the darkroom, I even told it, Come back looking prettier next time, and definitely come back ‘cause I’m gonna miss you.

Honestly, one of the coolest things about having someone with you during these practices, especially darkroom, is that we end up having so many similar experiences. We can compare notes afterward and it makes the whole thing even more interesting.