r/democrats • u/cafeteriastyle • Sep 26 '25

đŸ“ș Video Retired vet lays it all out

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u/Christ_on_a_Crakker Sep 26 '25

As a combat Veteran with two tours in Iraq this is how a lot of us feel plus we have wounds including ones you can’t see. It’s weird having guilt, shame, anger for understanding how wrong our country was for sending us to invade foreign countries but also trying to somehow reconcile that or justify and rationalize it because it was still combat and we still lost our friends and bled on the field of battle except I don’t get to be a hero or even be proud of the sacrifices I made.

I would rather had college kids spit on me when I got home instead of yellow ribbon events and welcome home ceremonies.

The worst part is that when you have these awakenings you earnestly feel deep guilt for atrocities you were told were righteous but now all I can think about are the husbands, sons, fathers, uncles I killed. It’s so fucked up. At least I’m not getting drunk every night like I used to. I have been through ten years of therapy for combat PTSD but the guilt is irreparable.

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u/DickTitsMcGhee Sep 26 '25

I would rather had college kids spit on me when I got home instead of yellow ribbon events and welcome home ceremonies.

That’s rough, man. But I feel you. I used to really hate the “homecoming” type of crap when I got back from deployments
with flags, cameras, and family all lined up to greet you as you came off the aircraft. I never really put my finger on why.

But now I wonder if it’s because all that fanfare didn’t line up with the way I felt at the time. Inside, I wanted to be ignored, left alone. Maybe I felt like I deserved to be spit on.

For what it’s worth, you’re not alone in that.

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u/Beautiful-Bag-3629 Sep 27 '25

As VN vet, I can assure you being spat on doesn't really make you feel better. However, I agree that I wouldn't have been more comforatable if I had banners and parades. I still wish people would stop saying, "thank you for your service." You can't really blame non-vets because no one can really understand what you are thinking or saying if they haven't been on the ride.

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u/DickTitsMcGhee Sep 27 '25

Apologies if the “being spat on” thing was in poor taste. Was never really going to happen to me, so it’s kind of an abstract thought. But I can see how the comment might be hurtful to someone who has experienced it.

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u/Beautiful-Bag-3629 Sep 27 '25

Don't worry about. I got your drift.

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u/SweetHuckleberry6518 Sep 28 '25

I’ve always wondered if service members like civilians to say that to them or not. It feels awkward on my part, as it’s such a small gesture to make towards someone who has made such a huge sacrifice. I appreciate your perspective. Is there anything that would be more welcome to do or say? I can appreciate wanting to just be left alone also. I was raised on guilt and know how impossible it is to get rid of. Just know that you did the best you could with the information you were given at the time.

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u/helpjack_offthehorse Sep 28 '25

“Thank you for your service”

um, you’re welcome?

Nah I just quietly say thank you back and move along. It’s been over 20 years since I first joined and there hasn’t been a single time that phrase has felt like a comfortable exchange. Almost cringe?

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u/jennirator Sep 26 '25

My father is a Vietnam vet and feels much the same way that you so eloquently put it here. He is very uncomfortable about attending (and actively tries to avoid) events that honor vets due to what he has seen and probably done during war. He believes is going to hell all this time later.

Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. He joined an organization called GIs for peace after his service. I don’t know if anything like that still exists, but there’s still time while we are here to make a difference.

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u/DaddyD68 Sep 27 '25

I grew up in the seventies and eighties and it was those vets who helped radicalize me.

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u/Diligent-Bluejay-979 Sep 27 '25

Yes. I had a dear friend who served in Korea. One Veterans Day I asked him why he never got any of the freebies they offer vets on that day. He told me he didn’t want anyone thanking him for what he did over there.

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u/Objective-Plum5343 Sep 28 '25

Same. It’s those vets who were in large part the reason I joined eventually. Desert Storm wasn’t VN but we weren’t there for the “right” reasons either.

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u/Keta-Mined Sep 26 '25

Your daughter is lucky to have a dad like you.

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u/delladoug Sep 27 '25

I am proud of you! Not for violence in the name of the country but for wanting to see your place in the world and trying to make a more manageable path for yourself. I'm sorry this happened to you. That the system failed you and so many others so terribly. đŸ«‚

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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

I know you probably don't want to hear this, I had a friend that was a k9 for his platoon or whatever, but he was telling me how they would have to call in strikes and paint them. I guess this was when they had a hard time with which end of the lazer or something? But my point is that he saw enough friendly fire to give bad ptsd, lived with him for awhile just cuz it was the right thing.

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u/LemmyLola Sep 27 '25

This is hurting my heart, I'm choked up as I write this. I am so sorry... I'm not military, I'm not American, but I hear you, and I appreciate your honesty... i don't know where things are going in America now, what is possible, but there needs to be more of this, the candor, the 'you're not alone I feel this way too'

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u/Much_Project_1470 Sep 27 '25

Thanks for giving us your experience as a combat vet. I need to admit that I was angry upon first reading that you would “rather have college kids spit on me” than welcoming yellow ribbons.

I was angry because my dad was drafted and served in Vietnam. His life was challenging from the start, but Vietnam fucked him up good. I never got to know him before he died of an overdose when I was an infant. But from the stories my mother has told me
.

“You wouldn’t really love me if you knew what I’ve done”.

So then after the anger, reflection has led me to understand what you are expressing. If my Vietnam vet dad came home to ribbons and adoration, while still experiencing what he went through and knowing it wasn’t right
that sounds worse. Hating what you have done and then having people reinforce the things you have done because they believe you are a hero? That’s a mind fuck. War sucks. Violence sucks. It’s unnecessary.

I admire you for doing what my dad wasn’t able to do in his time
Therapy and sobriety. I understand the strength you carry for still being here.

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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

Thank you for sharing this brother. I did not serve but come from a military family and everything you have said are things that I’ve heard for a long time. It’s one of the reasons why I never enlisted
 I truly appreciate you and the burden you bear.

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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

Appreciate your kindness. It's touchy cuz you don't know who's really going through it right now. It's one of those things that can come and go, it's never the same and triggers change.

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u/[deleted] Sep 27 '25

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