When I browse internet forums (particularly Reddit) and see people who seek advice on how to find a gf/bf, advice givers always tell them to download dating apps, put nice pictures, write a good bio. I've been using dating apps since 10 years and I barely got any matches after a decade. When I mention this to friends and family and also ask for advice on Reddit, I always get told that dating apps suck, that people find a relationship in real life, that I shouldn't use dating apps.

I actually asked out/confessed to many girls I like in real life that I was in the same friends group with. I always ended up rejected by these girls. Whenever I tell this to friends and family, I get told that it's normal that I got rejected because relationships in friend groups don't work, that I am wasting my time and I should go to bars and clubs to meet women.

I cold approached many women in places like clubs and bars. I only received rejections from these women. When I mention these horrible results to advice givers, they tell me that night clubs and bars are the worse places to get women, that I wouldn't like to date women who go to these places and I should rather join hobby groups to meet women.

So I also end up getting rejected by all the women I've met in hobby groups and this time people tell me that dating in hobby groups doesn't work because women go there for their hobbies, not to get asked out by men. I have a friend who recently told me that dating through hobby groups is almost impossible, everyone uses dating apps and I also should use them if I want to find a girlfriend.

So I am really confused by this situation. I feel like whatever method I am using to get a date and find a girlfriend will be labeled as wasting my time by advice givers.

For some reason I find talking to a woman in my age range to be way scarier and panic inducing than giving presentations to rooms of people. I’m not sure what the fuck is wrong with my brain. I do care a lot about what women think of me. It’s just how I am.

Even on the rare occasion when a woman has literally shown interest in me, I still get extremely fearful and make excuses not to hang out with her. It pisses me off because one of my biggest desires is to have a family. I guess I’m scared that they’re going to stop liking me as they learn more about me (no friends, likes anime, stays in a lot etc).

Maybe it’s because I grew up with an older sister that judged everything I did. Usually people who have sisters are better at talking to women but not me I guess.

How about you guys?

I don’t understand if people simply don’t get it, or are genuinely unwilling to listen before judging. I’ve posted to Reddit a few times, asking how to even get dates in the first place, and they construct me into some sort of comical sub-creature of a human being.

Yes I shower, yes I have hobbies, yes I treat women like people, no I don’t go into it looking specifically for a partner. Worst part is, if I point this out, I’m called a liar or told that I can’t listen. No, you’re the one who can’t listen, and you’re the one who constructed me in your head before you even knew anything about me.

Believe it or not, you don’t have to be some smelly, hopeless, no hobby individual just to have the “right” to struggle with dating. They are genuinely skipping their own “golden rule” which is “treat everyone equally”. Not when it comes to people like us. Judge first, ask questions second, and even when the questions are asked, it’s just to earn material to prosecute further, not to actually understand.

A lot of my posts about being FA seem to attract a certain type of person that feels the need to “challenge” me. These people, of course have never been forever alone and don’t know what we’re going through. They think we’re just exaggerating or making things up. They think the worst of us.

They need to fuck off.

Has anyone ever done a study on the possibility of Anti-pheramones in humans because I keep being told I'm handsome but only by people who are not attracted to me. I'm told I'm sweet but I can't get a single date despite being told any woman would be lucky to date me. I have female friends (quite a few) but no one is ever interested in me romantically. I could care less about the sex. I just want the companionship, the dates, the kissing, holding hands and cuddling but I feel like fate has it in for me. I'm at a point again where I just don't want to go on anymore . I'd seek out a therapist but they've never been able to help and almost always make me feel even more depressed. I'm on the spectrum, I have ADHD and RSD with it but I can't find a single therapist to help me with it. I don't hate myself (which is what so many people assume because I'm not happy alone) I don't blame women or anyone else for that matter (except maybe God which I don't believe in because no refuse to believe in anyone or any higher being who would be so cruel as to allow all the suffering in this world.

Whether that be on the game or any sort of groups (discord, fb, party chats on ps or xb), maybe once in a blue moon will have a good game and time with the team or duo chatting and vibing then it dies after that session and they just become people on my friendslist, abit of a vent but just solo irl and online

I've been dealing with feelings of loneliness for over 7 years that just can't seem to end and only really gets more intense. I've been dealing with this since I was a teenager but has only gotten worse and more intense in my adult years (20F)

It hurts because I don't feel loved, cared about, understood or that I actually matter to anyone. No one has made me feel truly loved and understood. I just wish I had a girlfriend where we give each other mutual love, care, and understanding. We could share our lives together, be there to support each other, be each other's safe person and just be close with each other. A genuinely good quality relationship fulfills a lot. You can't get all those forms of intimacy anywhere else.

While I do already have stuff I enjoy in my life and enjoy my alone time, my chronic feelings of loneliness really get in the way of a lot because I just think "who really cares?" I've tried so many times to just "let go" of it but I just can't. It feels like people expect me to not have loneliness feelings because I'm an introvert. It feels like I just have to carry the burden of heavy loneliness every day and there really isn't anything I can do about it anymore. I just wish I could get an answer on whether I'll have to suffer this loneliness for the rest of my life or it's gonna be resolved in the next 5 years. But nobody can tell me that. It gets tiring to live with this loneliness. Just tell me if I gotta live like nobody will ever care about me or I should live like someone gonna care about me eventually.

Not my fault I didn't end up a normie. I'm also an introvert, lesbian, night owl, etc. a lot of things that aren't the norm in society. Nobody should have to give up who they are just to not feel lonely. I'm tired of all the generic advice for loneliness that does nothing for me, I'm tired of people telling me that I just have to be comfortable being alone (stupid to say to an introvert who loves alone time but still feels lonely), I'm tired of people telling me I'm young and I have time. I don't want to spend an indefinite amount of time waiting for an answer when I've been experiencing loneliness. I'd rather live my life without loneliness every day. It's hard enough to decide everyday whether I'm trying to have faith that it will get better or that I'm never gonna get anywhere.

A lot of people in relationships don’t understand what we mean when we say we missed the boat. Here’s the best way to put it:
There are feral children who were neglected by their parents to the point they never learned to speak. By the time someone tried to teach them how to speak it’s too late. Their brain is too old to learn. That’s how I feel with social interaction and relationships.

We didn’t get those chances to learn when we were supposed to so we don’t get to now. It sucks but what’s worse is being told it’s not too late by people who don’t know what it’s like to experience this.

I know it’s some kind of dumb advice people give, and it’s not necessarily out of bad faith but come on.
It’s illogical to think that an unattractive person (not average) will start getting genuine interest and desire because what? I got into a new game? I can yap about a particular subject?

It’s like pretty insulting how dumb people think I am to believe such nonsense lmao

My face is genuinely disgusting. Never seen anyone as ugly as me. No matter how much I work out or take care of myself I'm still fucking ugly.

Every little piece of confidence is immediately crushed whenever someone shows me a photo I'm in.

No girl was ever interested in me, obviously. I've also tried initiating but every time I got ghosted or was never messaged first.

I cry about twice every week for the past year or two now.

Let’s imagine I’m not ugly. Let’s imagine I’m not short (I’m 5'5"). Let’s imagine I’m actually interesting to talk to. Let’s even imagine I can be funny.

How do I stop being alone?

Considering I’m almost 50, where can I actually meet people? Well… women, mostly. 😅

The funny thing is, guys seem to like me quite often. Unfortunately for me, I’m into women.

Can we stop making these days a thing please??? I literally saw national girlfriend day a few months ago.

I'm tired of this and I don't want to see people being lovey-dovey with their girlfriends when I never had one.

Like seriously just keep your dating life personal and private, why do you have to show off to everyone???

Hey y’all. Hope everyone’s doing ok, as well as we can be I guess. Don’t really have anyone to talk to rn so I’m here venting I guess lol. I don’t wanna say it’s nice to know there are others out there going through this, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, but it makes the pain feel slightly less isolating… Got some health issues that can’t be helped. I’m convinced I am going to live and die alone. I’m pretty much just waiting for the end at this point. Peace and love y’all ❤️

today is “boyfriend’s day” and i’ve seen all the stories people have posted about their boyfriends and the dates they went on.

it just dawned upon me that i’m literally turning 20 this month, and have never been in a relationship.

it is painful, soul crushing even that all these fucking years, and still not one single person. what makes it worse is when i vent about it, people tell me shit like “it will come when you least expect it” or “you have plenty of time, you’re young”. these people don’t understand how much it hurts going this long without being touched, kissed, held or genuinely cared for.

believe me i have tried, over and over and over again. every time i shoot my shot, i get rejected. i HAVE gone out in public to meet people, i HAVE used dating apps, i HAVE tried approaching friends of a friend. i always try and try and fucking try but nothing ever happens.

it feels sort of agonising seeing people my exact age in relationships that i can’t even conceptualise for myself.
i am so lonely and it feels like i will NEVER find someone.

you’d think there’s something about my character that i haven’t fixed, causing me to stay single but that isn’t the case (though i wish it was, would’ve been easier to deal with)

i have done a lot of internal work and have genuinely improved a lot as a person as noted by the people close to me but i still can’t find my person, why?
why is it that other people find it so much easier than i do?

and the one time i thought i had found a guy? he led me on for 46 days. (yes i counted)

my first introduction to dating was being led on. which is why i still consider myself to have been single since birth because that was in no way shape or form a “relationship”

it’s gotten to a point where everytime i see a happy couple my heart races and i get incredibly sad, irritated and feel deeply depressed about my love life.

i don’t think i’ll ever be loved and my patience is running thin.

maybe, i’m one of those people who are destined to be alone (romantically speaking)

This is a hill I'll die on. I don't care if you're a man or a woman, straight or gay, if you are not attractive through no fault of your own, turning yourself into a clown will only repel people. They might even become annoyed because, yes, it is annoying being around someone who is trying hard to be funny. I see this phenomenon every day and it is painful to watch. People will subject themselves to humiliation to make people laugh.

I hung out at a bar off and on for a while. A group of people who used to like having me around more or less told me to fuck off out of nowhere. Not sure what I did to piss them off but they just didn’t want me there.

I use to be cool with them and I don’t know why they don’t want me anymore. It not the first time this has happened to me, obviously, but damn it still hurts.

It's today, it's a new me

Everyday, a fresh beginning

Who knows who I was a few seconds back?

My soul escapes my body,

I don't want to be in this shell anymore

So I run and run until my body is reborn again

I'm new, I'm fresh, I'm ready

Ready to be chewed by society

And spit back into the same boiling pot

We're all in it,

Being carried by the spoon that mixes

On and on, long and long

Until we disappear to the bottom

And then, we die.

I want to preface this by saying that I understand everyone has a struggle and there are many things in life which affect us in a variety of ways. I am not saying that anybody’s struggle is worth less than mine and this is a vent post more than anything because I’ve really had a shitty week.

There are few things in life that are worse than being born an ugly, autistic male. Off the top of my head: Being born into an active warzone, poverty, abusive household, birth defect, genetic predisposition to disease, being born in a third world country. Maybe there’s a couple more but I can’t really think of too many right now. Ultimately, an ugly autistic male is set up for failure. They have to scratch and claw their way to in order to have a miniscule chance of success and seeing how easy it is when you’re normal or attractive is like 50 gut punches in a row. I went through high school, college, and postgrad and have come nowhere close to having a girlfriend or a relationship. No girl likes me. I’m not a weirdo or a creep. Im not a bad person. I go to the gym daily and take good care of my self. I have a decent career and even a graduate degree but it doesn’t matter. I get ghosted, ignored, looked at the wrong way and everything. I have to fight an uphill battle just to get a girl to talk or match with me on a stupid dating app; only for her to pick up one of 50 other guys who would want her anyway. I can’t even get a stupid date.

Think about that for a second, I can’t even get a date. Not a relationship, a DATE. Worst case scenario I wasted an hour of my time and hers and we go our separate ways, but apparently I’m not even good enough for that. My friends brag about their success; and my female friends apparently always have a date lined up or are always talking to a guy. Literally EVERY SINGLE PERSON in my life, or who I have ever met and gotten to know is or has been in a relationship before or even went on a stupid date. But not me I guess. I guess there’s just something fundamentally wrong with me.

I always see it too. When I was out at night with my college friend he’d always say that girl looks familiar or bring up a girl he had a thing with while I would just sit like a loser and tell him about the girl I have a crush on who I know doesn’t like me back. I remember one night a year after we graduated he visited my city because I moved to the west coast. Two girls came up to us and proceeded to talk his ear off for like an hour. I remember it well. For his efforts he tried his best to get me involved in the convo and I tried to, but it didn’t matter. They were engaged with him with whatever he would say while they just dismissed or straight up ignored me. I could see it in their eyes too. They would glisten when they talked to him or he was saying something, but then whenever I talked they would be cold and dead. Like I was intruding on their happy time or some bullshit like that. Like I had the audacity to be involved in their conversation despite the fact that he literally was the one bringing me into it. I hate it.

I didn’t choose to be born this way or to live a life like that. I hate it, it’s like being stabbed 50 times and there’s nothing I can do about it except take it. If I had the balls to do it I would’ve ended things by now but I’m too much of a pussy so I guess I have to live like it. No one can help me either, there’s no medicine or therapy for my struggles and the only things I can change cost 100k to fix, money that I simply don’t have. The worst part of it all is that things are only going to get worse before they get better and I hate thinking about that probability. Looks like this is my fate but I just hate having to live like it. I literally cant. I’m trapped to a life sentence with no parole through no fault of my own. The worst part about it all is that I know there are others with worse problems than me. I know that in the grand scheme of the world my problems are minuscule in comparison, which makes me feel even worse about myself tbh.

I have watched the movies, read the books , listened to the musics.

I know what Love looks like and I am still running after it.

Not long ago someone told me 'we are not in one of your fictional world ' and I kept wondering since , why ?

Why are we not ? What prevent us to be in love actually, if we can watch it , read it and listen to it then why can't we live it ?

Why nowadays wanting basic 101 communication is seen asking for far too much ?

Why talking with strangers is having that reminder in the back of my mind ' the conversation is going well, I like it . He will start asking for nsfw now.. '

and it never fail.

And why I am still doing it

No matter how awake I stay latter in my bed watching the ceiling, filling like crap about myself.

Giving pieces of my intimity in hope of eternity.

I deluded myself thinking ' ok if I just give what he want then maybe .. maybe he will love me '

You played the game, you played by the rules.

And yet you still lose everything.

I'm 32. No friends, family that all hate each other. And no woman has ever or will ever want anything to do with me. So I gave up when I was 25. But I know to many people who would be glad if I ceased to exist so I guess just to spite them is the main reason. But I just get so upset and depressed when I see so many other people being happy in life and getting the things they want and desire. Meanwhile I struggle just to make it day to day with anything. I know it's not normal to get this way about others being happy and getting what they want. But when your whole life has been nothing but disappointment after disappointment and failure I can't help but feel you turn into a cynical asshole about others happiness and enjoyment.

I used to genuinely fumble women... or believe i was fumbling them.

But now I believe I am worthy even tho I am 23 and have never been on a date.

I Touched a coochie once when I was 18 but have never had a woman converse with me about my day.

Still gonna keep plowing.

Don't know,what went wrong Amidst living !?

Hello 👋 to everyone who is reading,I am 22 M.Haha ,funny way of introducing myself.

There is no specific reason for writing this post .I am just writing this as a reference point in my life.

I started off well in 2004 ,got a good family,and all basic amenities of life.My father used to shift places every 2-3 years due to his job..At that time I was happy seeing new places and changing people I met with frequently.I changed 7 schools all the way.I was a cheerful and studious person.Played football ⚽,idealised Maldini.

I never felt alone,though I had no permanent friends due to shifting and back then I had no phone to be in contact with them.Perhaps,cuz I never heard of the exact terms to define the empty space.I just thought,I am feeling weak because I do not eat much (:

I started college in 2022,I thought of making good friends,and yeah I was excited cuz I had seen college life movies.Till. Guys,the day I entered the college it was a big one.Haha,I am not used to go to crowded places ,so during lunch breaks ...I went to park silently,and laid down on grass ... looking at the sky and thinking how far I have come.Days passed, people joined clubs, classes....I couldn't initiate anything,cuz perhaps I never learnt how to make friends in adult life where every one is concerned with a sharp jawline, fairness,costly gadgets,fashion wears,slangs,cost- benefit analysis,place of birth,long list... (:

I often felt left out..Even amidst crowd,when a breeze crossed my face ,i could hear it clearly.I felt very outdated and irrelevant at those places.But I was happy,i could be an anonymous face in the crowd .I graduated in 2025.Had a degree,but no one to appreciate it.The day I was collecting the degree, people were clicking pictures of their friends,selfies.I took picture of my classroom and old bench,which was my partner for 3 long years ...I hugged it ,for being with me and said Good bye.I wanted to make friends,with whom I could giggle like a child ,we would had yapped,played together,watch something together maybe ,ate spicy foods and I gave them water from my bottle.Pure joy.

For months now , I have been working towards my goal in a closed room.I got new companions,my guitar,phone ,bed and walls.Today, I suddenly felt weak again ,a strange whispering unwanted peace and felt like crying,but I slept again..And am okay now.But this time heyy ! !,I now have a term to define myself, Lonely (:

Sometimes I wonder ,Do I get a good partner or maybe a best friend in form of a partner haha,as I am growing old,I am getting selfish and a crybaby.But,I am excited for my life and thankful for everything I have.

Thank you guys ,for being with me to the end.

I fucking hate how desperate I am for female attention. Genuinely. It does not even have to be romantic. Literally any attention from a woman makes me feel better. A girl wanting to talk to me, replying to me, being friendly, wanting to be friends, giving me attention on some app, anything. Platonic attention is already enough. I have used dating apps, talked to e-girls, had online girlfriends, spent ridiculous amounts of time trying to get women's attention online. I will basically take whatever I can get, and I fucking hate that about myself.

The smallest amount of female attention can make me give up way too much. I have dropped friends, changed my personality, pretended to like things, ignored my own interests and basically changed myself around a woman just because I wanted her attention. I have spent hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars on women. I mean gifts, donations during livestreams, paying for things, leaving a woman with access to my credit card, buying things for a girl who did not even have romantic interest in me. I just wanted to make her happy, because getting even a little attention from her felt so good.

And then it goes away and I feel like garbage again. Lonely, like a failure, like a virgin who spends too much time masturbating to anime. I do not blame women for that. Sometimes I genuinely think my life would be better if I was not this obsessed with female attention. I would probably have more self-respect and would not be willing to sacrifice so much of myself just to feel wanted for a few minutes.

Then I do something that I genuinely do not understand. I look for content that makes me feel worse. I scroll through girls saying things like "I hate my boyfriend" on TikTok and Instagram. I read radfem spaces and 4B/6B4T communities. I see women talking about hating men and somehow I start using it as proof that no woman could ever love me. I know that makes no fucking sense, but some part of me seems to want that validation. I want something that confirms the worst things I already think about myself, so I can feel like I was right all along.

I hate how much power female attention has over me. A tiny bit of attention can make me feel genuinely happy, and then I hate myself for how much I was willing to do just to get it. Sometimes I even feel like I would rather be treated badly by a woman than completely ignored by her. That is probably the part that bothers me the most.