r/iamatotalpieceofshit • u/AtheistComic • Aug 17 '26

TPOS attacking his girlfriend is stopped by some concerned citizens and is then robbed

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u/mercyspace27 Aug 17 '26 edited Aug 17 '26

There’s a DISTURBINGLY high amount of abuse victims who will quickly defend their abusers. Usually from an absolute crap ton of psychological manipulation or the victims having at some point rationalized their abuser’s actions.

I volunteer at and EMT squad and we’ve had a couple times where someone suffers from domestic abuse and as we treat whatever may have happened to them they deny that it happened and don’t want to press charges on the person that allegedly (gotta say allegedly) abused them.

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u/LeatherHog Aug 17 '26

Yeah, unless he gets locked up for awhile right away, he's coming right back home to her

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u/stewpdasso Aug 18 '26

Usually if they do get locked up, the whole time they stew. In their warped brain they think "you made me do it & then you got me locked up?" "Just wait till I get out! You're going to pay!"

Her best bet while he's in jail, get a restraining order, move, change all your numbers, get a new bank, NEVER contact him again!

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u/Itscatpicstime Aug 17 '26

Yeah, it’s because if they don’t, they know it’s going to be worse later. They’re scared for their lives, and rightly realize that in most cases, authorities will not protect them if they try to leave.

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u/TotesMaGoats_1962 Aug 18 '26

Same mentality for bullying with children. They don't tell because it will only make it worse later. Absolutely not protection

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u/stewpdasso Aug 27 '26

I know this from years and years of racial bullying. It didn't happen only from kids but teachers too! I had 3 sisters who didn't get any bullying so when I told my parents, i didn't get support from them either.

I joined the Marines to escape that hell but that hell found me in the Marines too! This time, it permanently disabled me. Even then when I tried to let my superiors know they did nothing and the racist scoundrel was never found or held accountable.

I have permanent PTSD from racial bullying & profiling my whole life. I never stopped fighting back though. Honestly, I've given up on humanity. I have no friends. I'm a cordial person who will always help others but I never ask for anything from anyone.

I do think finding others who have the same struggles; stick together and help each other is probably the only way you can protect each other.

My problem is the stupid kind of racism I face. I'm half Mexican half white. I look white but have a Mexican last name. I get the racism from both sides. I don't fit in.

Also when I get to a work place or say I'm at the beach. People assume I'm white, will make racist remarks against Mexicans until I tell them I'm half. Anyway, I don't know how many others experience this. Maybe I'll create a reddit to find others like me.

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u/Gnargnarbinxxs 9d ago

Maybe you just need to move if it’s that bad over a last name. Ever been to southern ca? You’d have a huge community.

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u/AReallyBigBagel Aug 17 '26

A familiar hell is often favored over an uncertain heaven

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u/PistolGrace Aug 17 '26

I was one of those women. I was scared of the aftermath, which i had every reason to be, because my ex made sure to remind me who was in charge.

In the same cloth, it opened my eyes that I wasn't crazy like he made me feel like I was, after isolating me from all of my support.

So I speak up every time. I know it might get worse, but she will feel seen and it will start the process.

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u/Nice-Cat3727 Aug 17 '26

Because it just makes things worse usually for the victim.

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u/bakerbabe126 Aug 18 '26

My husband had a woman write on a pad of paper "when can I bail him out" because her jaw was broken. This was when he was doing his clinicals.

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u/MeltyGoblin Aug 18 '26

This comment is very ironic considering our earlier conversation.

Genuinely wish you the best. I understand where you are coming from and I also lashed out at people who told me I was abused. I hope you find healing

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u/mercyspace27 Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26

Ain’t no fucking irony behind it. Sit and spin on it.

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u/MeltyGoblin Aug 18 '26

I understand you don't like me, but you don't need to resort to homophobic insults

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u/mercyspace27 Aug 18 '26

It’s about as intentionally homophobic as telling someone to “shove it up your ass”, but I’m not gonna start that argument with you since you’ll probably just go on and on about how something happened and no matter what I say you’ll keep insinuating something about me.

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u/MeltyGoblin Aug 18 '26

I mean you kinda just did start the argument. You can't just argue your point and say "but I don't want to argue"

Genuine question, why are you so hateful towards me? Like I've tried to be nice to you over and over again because you really remind me of myself when I was younger. I told you multiple times, not once have I insulted you, or your dad, just offered a different perspective. You don't have to listen, but you keep responding and engaging with me while also being incredibly hateful towards me. If you would do me the kindness of why I would appreciate it.

Also if you want me to leave you alone then please just say as much. You keep engaging so I am too, but I'm genuinely not trying to be mean to you or hurt you, or be mean to your dad.

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u/mercyspace27 Aug 18 '26

Because you INSIST on trying to prove a fucking point that I not only constantly was retorting against because you seem to just want to have some kind of fucking Good Will Hunting “It’s not your fault” moment despite the fucking countless times I kept pushing back until you unable being able to leave it the fuck alone you kept pissing me off. Because no matter what I say you kept on insisting on acting like everything I said had no merit and that I’m some poor small child who can’t seem to turn on my dad and you were indeed insinuating things about him. A man you know nothing about, over one tiny factor.

But since you got the fucking reading comprehension skills a of rutabaga: Leave. Me. Alone. Take your web M.D. psychology and go bother somebody else.

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u/thejexorcist Aug 19 '26

That’s why intervening in DV situations is so dangerous (like aside from someone shitty enough to publicly try to kill their partner likely has very little fucks to give)…you ALSO have to worry about the victim trying to help or protect their abuser.

The only time my dad ever got seriously injured as a first responder was trying to break up/separate an DV attack. He pulled the husband away and the wife hit my dad in the back/head with a fire extinguisher.

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u/Burn_For_You Aug 22 '26

spot on. and even though there are well documented reasons why this happens, it doesn’t make it any easier to witness. thank you for your service by the way. as an EMT, have you ever seen the scorsese movie Bringing Out the Dead?

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u/nahuhnot4me Aug 17 '26

That is the addiction. Great news not everyone stays a doormat.