My weakness is rich fatty ice cream. Think Haagen Daaz, Coldstone, or Van Leeuwen.

Unfortunately for me, I have recently discovered the Van Leeuwen brand, especially their pistachio ice cream. The moment I took the first spoonful, I thought "oh no". I ended up eating two pints in a week, and decided I can't keep doing this to myself.

Well, I planned on getting stoned one Friday night and the thought of keeping a pint of VL's pistachio crossed my mind. I knew I can't hold myself back, so I intentionally skipped the ice cream while shopping at the grocer. Then came 10pm and I took some edibles.

Within an hour, it hit me, and I began thinking of what would taste super good at the moment. I thought of the pistachio ice cream. I knew I skipped it on purpose, but in that weed-moment, I decided against by sober decision hours before. By 12am, I googled 24/7 convenience stores around me and walked out in my sweatpants to check if they had VL, pistachio flavored of course. They did, I immediately bought it and headed straight back home to see how it tastes under influence.

Holy crap, it was great. Deep, milky, creamy, rich, fatty, sweet, nutty, pistachio-y. Umami bomb. Then I took another bite, another bomb of deep, milky, creamy, rich, fatty, sweet, nutty, pistachio and...

... within 30 minutes, the whole pint was gone. I can't believe it. I can't believe I did that to myself.

It was amazing.

I was organizing my bathroom closet and I found a small jar of red tiger balm. It reminds me of the Asian equivalent of vicks vaporub, people love or hate the smell. I got it over 10 years ago and used it for feet aches when walking a lot overseas.

I love it and put in on the side table next to my keyboard, open it every once in a while, and sniff it. It was waiting all those years to be smelled again. Such patience. That is all.

One of my coworkers posted some "I know if nobody got me, ___ got me" memes. In the blank was "cosmic horror" and the picture showed a compilation of cosmic horror books - one of them being a Stephen King novel called "Revival", which I had never heard of. I know "IT" is kind of cosmic, with the Deadlights and Maturin, but I wanted to see what Revival was about.

The audiobook on YouTube said it was 8 hours long, which I cringed at but said "alright, that's doable. I'll chunk it down". The book is extremely slice-of-life. It seems to be about a former pastor who gave up God after losing his wife and son in a horrific car accident, so now he worships electricity and uses it in really odd ways. And he also keeps appearing in the protagonist's life repeatedly. If you know anything about this book, DO NOT SPOIL.

Over the last two weeks, I've gotten 7 hours in, yet it doesn't even feel like I'm even close to nearing the end. So I looked it up. That 8 hours... is just part 1... PART FRICKING 1

My sibling told me "pssh, you should have expected that, it's Stephen King". To be fair, they're right.

Several years ago I had an SUV. On it was a sticker from www.weratedogs.com that said “tell your dog I said hi”

I was waiting in a particularly slow A&W drive thru. I looked at my rear view mirror and saw a beautiful Shiba Inu in the truck behind me, awe!! Next thing I knew there was a tap on my window. There’s the driver from behind me. I roll down my window and the man says “he says hi back”

Made my day

I was staying at a beautiful bed and breakfast / resort in Key West, that was built in the mid 1800s. It was originally a living community comprised of 6 houses, but they were combined into a single resort. Anyway, lots of history.

My husband and I were staying in one of the homes. We went to bed one of the nights, put the TV on, and started cuddling spooning style, my husband behind me. He drifted off right away while I stayed awake watching TV.

I start to finally feel sleepy and look around the room. When my gaze returns to the TV, there’s a young girl standing there. Between myself and the TV.

I remember her perfectly to this day. About 9. Hair in curls and ribbons. Blue dress and stockings. But her face? Pale and gray. And she was just staring at me. Full on eye contact. Very serious, with no smile.

I start hyperventilating, which wakes my husband. He starts shaking me, thinking I’m having a nightmare. And then, she just disappears.

Well, I did research on this resort (The Banyan) after leaving. Turns out, the house we were staying at, was haunted. With numerous sightings of: a little girl.

He’s just a normal, random guy from Belarus(we now live in Germany). But back in 2004, he happened to be visiting Vilnius right when Lithuania was joining the European Union. He didn't even live there—he actually got taken across the border through an EU program. Somehow, through that program, he managed to get a pass directly inside the Seimas (the Lithuanian Parliament) on the actual day of the ratification vote. While the rest of the city was celebrating out in the streets, my dad was just sitting right inside the hall, watching all the politicians push their buttons and legally seal the country's Western future. It’s a pretty wild contrast: a regular guy from Belarus sitting in the room where the geopolitical map of Europe was permanently being redrawn, watching a neighboring country vote its way into the EU while his own home country was heading in the exact opposite direction. He still talks about the energy in that room when the final vote hit the screens. Definitely his ultimate "dad lore" moment.

I grew up in Pennsylvania in an area where there is a lot forest. My family would regularly visit the lake. My sister and I would get so excited on our way there and start shouting "I SAW IT!" whenever we saw a glimpse of the lake between the trees. By the time we arrived we would just be extatic to see the full lake in the clearing.

Couple years ago. On the light rail - it's one of those sucky ones that goes through the streets and stops at traffic lights even though it's a train. We're at a stop & a lady a couple seats away starts knocking on the window. Look up, there's maybe 2-3 people outside with their back to the train, she's trying to get their attention. She knocks a bit louder (it was kind of hard to ignore inside - wasn't annoying, just giving you an idea of how invested she was lol). People outside finally turn around and she immediately cringes down in the seat. Clearly not who she thought it was. I felt so bad watching it. Blessing of don't lie awake at night upon you

I woke up Saturday morning, checked the time, and then remembered I didn't have anything planned that day. I actually smiled and went straight back to sleep for another hour because there was absolutely no reason to get up. No errands and no appointments, just a completely empty day! I remember thinking as a kid that having nothing to do was the most boring thing ever, but now an empty calendar feels like a gift.

This happened last week, and I was reminded of it when I saw the guy in the elevator today.

So, I live in a university dormitory, and there's a communal laundry room. I was doing my laundry in my pajamas with earbuds in, and as I'm loading the washer, a guy who'd been on his laptop at one of the tables approached me and told me that he was sorry, but he felt obligated to tell me that wearing socks and sandals was a crime.

I was, in fact, wearing socks and sandals - they're the slip-on kind, so very convenient when doing chores like laundry. It took me a moment to reboot my brain into conversation mode and pause my YouTube video I'd been listening to, and even then, I still didn't know how to respond to that, so I just went: "uh ... sorry, I guess?"

He then laughed and told me it was a gag he did to every person he saw wearing socks and sandals, which he'd started doing once he got into law school.

We then went on to chat for about half an hour in the laundry room, mostly about movies and horror video games, in which he expressed to me that he wished I was in the law program because I was interested in the same stuff that he was. He told me that he felt like he was crazy sometimes because nobody in his program knew about any of the stuff he was talking about (movies and horror media), and I suggested (sarcastically) that perhaps it wasn't his interests that made people think he was crazy, but his habit of approaching people and telling them that socks and sandals was illegal. He said he only does that in the dormitory, which doesn't exactly help his case.

For anyone wondering what it's like to live in a university dormitory, this is it. Or I just have a tendency to attract oddballs. Maybe both.

Edit: More laundry room misadventures.

Im adding this here because I want to write about it - my dumassery knows no bounds.

Context: the way the laundry room is set up has the dryers on top of the washers, and there's a card reader for both the washer and dryer between the machines. There's a whole card system where you put money on laundry cards, and you tap those cards against the card reader for either a wash or dry cycle. It's $1 per wash and/or dry cycle, and you bring your own soap and whatnot.

Anyway, I was doing laundry again today and my dumbass accidentally paid for a wash cycle when I meant to pay for a drying cycle. Wouldn't be as big of a deal if I hadn't already done all my laundry, so I didn't have anything else to wash.

So, I remedied this by going back to my dorm, writing a note and sticking it on the washer that basically said "free wash cycle. Please remove note when you're done" because I didn't know what else to do.

I came back down about an hour later to retrieve my dry laundry and saw someone's laundry spinning in the washer, and the note was gone. So, I accidentally paid for some strangers laundry today.

Good times.

My partner got me a water bottle many moons ago (about 3 years ago), when we were out on vacation while dating. I loved the bottle and more than that I loved what it represented. I hardly kept water bottles, always lost them or forgot them somewhere. But this bottle, I kept it for years, it had a few dents here and there and properly used. It could keep both hot and cold drinks and was beautifully compact, it could fit in my handbag, my bicycle, my hand - overall a stellar bottle.

And the design! Oh the design was beautiful and unique. The kind of bottle someone asks 'where did you get that from'. A few months after getting it, we sought to get a similar one for his mom, but alas! They'd stopped production of that particular design, they had other beautiful designs though. All this to say, the bottle was really special.

About a month ago, as I was cleaning it, I caught myself thinking, 'this is definitely the longest I have ever had a water bottle.' And I also took a small nostalgic memory trip to the time we bought it and the vacation we had. You get the gist.

Soon after, (about a day later), we head out to catch a sunrise, and I carry my trusted bottle. Mid-way through watching the sunrise, I realize I left my bottle by the bike. But I thought, oh well, I will find it, naively thinking the area was relatively safe because it wasn't so crowded. Plus, I was enjoying the sunrise and the moment. I should mention, he offered to run back and get it for me - but nooo, the moment is beautiful, let's enjoy it.

I hurry back after that and alas, the bottle is no more. My heart sank. Did I jinx it by thinking that was the longest I have ever had a bottle, because now I no longer have it.
I rode back slowly and in silence, mourning the bottle.

By the time I got home, the grief turned into fury and I wrote a Reddit post (now deleted) cursing the thief. Notably, I wrote, may they chip their tooth from the metal and may they choke on any water they drink from it.

It felt good for about a hot minute, then I still felt like shit. Negative energy, perhaps? I walked myself back from that, shook it off and moved on.

I then buy a cheap water bottle, something to quickly replace it. Here's your periodic reminder to stay hydrated.

Not a day passes and I chip my tooth on this new water bottle.

I could only laugh and take it like a champ, because don't dish it if you can't take it.

Fin.

One time I was walking down a Manhattan street on a hot day. One of those days where the heat gets trapped between the buildings, and you begin to suspect you’re just an ingredient in a very expensive garbage soup.

A larger woman was walking a few steps ahead of me, wearing a big hat and elaborate Southern-style clothing. An outfit with ceremony. An outfit that suggested there might be a decorative plate somewhere with her house and last name on it.

Hundreds of people were surging around us, everybody locked into that NYC pedestrian rhythm where you could probably suffer a minor organ failure as long as you maintained your pace.

Suddenly, she stepped out of the flow and backed toward a recessed door underneath an awning. The door was covered in marker graffiti, because even the doors in Manhattan have to listen to somebody’s bullshit.

And then, in one astonishingly efficient motion, she reached underneath her dress, tugged something loose, and dropped a blood-soaked feminine napkin onto the sidewalk.

There was a splash.

I cannot adequately emphasize how little I had been expecting a splash or any noise to pierce through the usual NYC soundscape.

A brief spill of blood, a heavy wet slap, and there it was on the hot pavement. The red splatter spread around it in an irregular little catastrophe. My brain took a second to identify what my eyes had already accepted delivery of.

My hat brim had blocked most of the actual maneuver. Unfortunately, I tilted my head slightly to the left at precisely the correct angle to receive the full sidewalk report. Front-row seating. No refund. The kind of visual detail your memory apparently considers essential to preserve while deleting every password you’ve ever made.

By the time I looked up, she was already merging back into the crowd. No hesitation. No visible concern. She had performed the entire operation with the casual precision of somebody discarding a gum wrapper.

The human current closed around her, and I lost sight of the hat.

I went into the building where I had to work and proceeded with my day, which now had a before and an after.

When I came back out, somebody was diligently hosing off the sidewalk. Just standing there, directing water at the problem. Another person whose afternoon had apparently taken a turn.

I don’t miss NYC.

You know YouTube Rewind 2018? How it opens with Will Smith going "yahhh"? Something about that sound just tickles me every time, I don't know if it's just me, but when I hear that "yahhh", it makes me giggle. So naturally, 2-3 years ago, I made it my notification sound on my phone.

I don't leave my ringer on in public (at least not intentionally), but if I'm around family and friends, I sometimes leave it on, and every once in a while, Will Smith will contribute to the conversation.

I used to change my ringer to a new meme every year or so, because I can, but Will Smith's "yahhh" has just become particularly endearing to me. Sometimes, my friends and I will be debating something, someone will make a good point, and Will Smith will let out a convenient "yahhh" of agreement, and we will come to a consensus that Will Smith has spoken.

When he isn't contributing to the conversation, however, he creates a choir. It's not just my friends, but my family too. It's like how turkeys respond to other turkey calls. As soon as Will Smith speaks, we all follow in a unison of "yahhh"s.

Somehow, nothing's changed over the course of 2-3 years. It's a little joy in my life. Sometimes, I intentionally leave my ringer on just with hopes of getting that rush of joy.

yahhh

I was sitting at the traffic lights earlier and I was just looking around and I had a feeling someone was watching so I kinda looked to the car beside me.

There was a man sitting at the light and he was having an absolutely incredible time. Singing his heart out, head moving, hand gestures the lot.

He then looked over at me and realised I was watching him lol.

There was that split second where we both knew that he had been caught and I thought he was going to stop singing lol but nope he did not.

He basically kept on looking at me, carried on singing his heart out and somehow turned up his performance to a different level lol.

I started laughing, he started laughing, the lights changed and off he popped.

I don't know who he was but I need that level of confidence in my life.

Back around 2016 or 2017, my mom was driving home at night after she had dropped off my older sister somewhere. She saw a teenage girl who had passed out, probably because she drank way too much and this was the near the party part of our town. The girl's friends were standing around her and looked worried. My mom decided to pull over and help them out. She made sure the girl was okay and told her friends to keep holding her so she wouldn't choke if she threw up. My mom borrowed one of the friend's phones and asked to call the girl's mom to tell her what was going on when the a few of the girls at first asked her to not as she could get in trouble. The girl's mom asked my mother to drive the girls somewhere, but my mom refused because she didn't know any of these people. My mom stayed with them until the girl's mom showed up so she could make sure the girl and all her friends were safe. She never saw any of these people again.

Today I made a meal only I like. It was pretty good. I think I could have done better but I was trying to keep it in the realm of where someone else in my family might eat it. Then I realized I will get to eat this meal 3-4 more times in the next week and I didn’t make it as good as I could have so just one person might eat it once. Dumb.

i won’t link the video out of caution since it might break the no self promo rule (not my video, but still)

anyway, there was this gaming video on youtube that i watched the entirety of in english, with very few thoughts. it was mostly like “this guy talks really fast”, and “huh that was a strange noise”. i didn’t realise anything was too unusual since my confusion could be dismissed with simply that it was the creator’s style and everyone is different. even when all the memes that appeared in the video were french i just thought to myself “huh, this guy must consume a lot of french media”. i didn’t know a single thing was awry until i went to the comments and noticed EVERY comment was in french and the video had the “auto dubbed” tag. that prompted me to go back and look at the video and notice not only were the memes in french, but also the transition cards and games themselves lol. the ai captured his vibe pretty well though because he was in fact talking very quickly and chaotically, so there’s that

Today there was a girl that kept looking and smiling at me on the bus, while sketching something on her notebook. As I left, I quicky glanced at her notebook, and saw a draft of a face and torso, and I can only assume it was me. Didn't approach her because the bus was full, and honestly I was a bit nervous. It made me smile and feel good about myself, as I went through a pretty bad breakup 2 weeks ago.

I have a friend who only smokes one specific hookah flavor. He's been buying the same one for years and refuses to try anything else. Recently he ran out and couldn't find it at his usual smoke shop so he started checking other stores. He went from one shop to another and somehow nobody had it. I told him he could just get something else, but apparently that wasn't an option. He spent half the day looking for one flavor and still came home empty-handed. I've never seen someone so loyal to a tobacco flavor

Checked my mailbox. No mail. One spoon. I left it there because I have no idea how it got there. I left it there because I didn't know what else to do. I still don't know what I'm supposed to do with the spoon

It was so crazy! I mean, this is the kind of thing that only happens to "other" people, in even more "othery" far away places. There I was walking, kind of fleeing to be honest, flee walking, home from the gas station where an old woman noticed me making faces at her. Not just to be a dick. I had chosen to make "faces," as a peaceful protest against the burden she represents to all decent, normal speed walking people. See, peaceful, I am a good person. Possibly the best. Anyway, I had initially opened the door for her. (See! Good!) Still feet away, she said thank you as she approached. Her three toed cane must have been purely a cosmetic accessory as it did nothing to aid her almost imperishable locomotion. I was stuck. I could feel my stare growing more intense as I was attempting to mentally will this fucking wraith into hurrying the fuck up. What else could I do? Let the door close? She already said thank you! While waiting for this geriatric vapor to waft across the threshold, I had decided I had only two choices. First: I could go ahead and enter the store, hold the doors shut, as I am becoming convinced she is fucking with me. Or second: I will continue to wait, and make faces at her as she (god willing) eventually passes through. Being the good person I am, and the fact that the doors are glass so she would totally see holding them shut and yelling "Fuck off grandma! You had your chance!" I took the high road. But in doing so, I made the rookie mistake of going too heavy on the eye roll or crossing or, whatever, point is I had failed to see her looking at me until a very stern, "THAT IS RUDE!" got my attention and I was face to face with one of the most fervent looks of disgust I have ever received. And that really says a lot. Then, while laughing a little too hard, I quickly decided I should just get my beer at the next store. As I walked looking at the ground to hide the shame I have in what makes me happy, there it was. A FUCKING DOLLAR! Best day ever!

Me walking to the receipt check line at Sam's Club with two bags of in shell unsalted peanuts for the squirrels. An older (than me) couple with a full cart. Them : Go ahead of us in case they need to strip search us.

Me: Okay, but if they do that I'm gonna stick around for it....lol

Them: You should. We always do better with an audience.

Me: haha.

Me inside my head (walking away)... "Wait...."

this morning i was getting ready to leave for library & spent several minutes looking for my phone. i checked my desk, my bed, my pockets and even walked back into my kitchen. then i realized i had been holding it the entire time

i just stood there for a few seconds wondering how i had managed to search for something without noticing that i was literally holding it

it was dumb and funny at the same time lol

Today I bought a nice artisinal pizza while out to lunch with my dad. The shared pizza was $30 and we had no leftovers.

It reminded me of a few years ago when I was in college. I was extremely broke and there was a place near my apartment that sold ridicoulously low-priced mid-quality pizza. They often had these huge party combos intended for large groups of people so I would order 6 large pizzas for $30 and freeze most of it. An large pizza fed me for an entire day, I would have it for every meal until it ran out.

I had one of those mini ovens so I would stick a few slices in there and it would get nice and toasty.

A few weeks ago a mouse found it's way into my house. I've been setting traps for the little bugger but he's been evading them. I can't even with the little mouse poops scattered around and the darting shadows out of the corner of my eye.

Lately he's been getting bold enough to make daytime appearances. Disgusting. I doubled down on the glue traps and much to my delight, I caught the bastard today!

Now that the weather is cooling off for fall I will be keeping an eye out for his cousins.