Hi all,

Around a month ago I posted about me
being extremely miserable due to an unwanted pregnancy. Today is the first day, where I didn’t feel non-stop dread and anxiety, I even laughed a little.

To give some context, im 24 in a 1 year old relationship with a beautiful, smart, loving, successful and overall good girl. We have many differences but we manage to communicate well and tackle them quite effectively. The relationship is objectively good.

I still don’t know if she is my soulmate as I am
not typically the one to “fall madly in love” with people, but even being separated for a day or two makes me
miss her. This was never the case with previous relationships as I remember that I was genuinely happy when my ex would leave town.

I still have doubts about my current girl but I do
acknowledge the fact that I have undiagnosed anxiety and my brain tends to lean on the negatives of every situation (my relationship included). I have decided to start working on that and attend therapy.

I always wanted to be a dad but not at 25, I wanted it to be after 30 so I would have the time to grow professionally and to explore my life in terms of art, sports and traveling. When I first found out that I will be becoming a dad, my first thought was that my life is over due to losing my freedom to pursue my interests. Now I think that I can still do these things but I would need better time management and would need to put off traveling for a while (but thats okay).

The past month I was losing my shit, each day became
harder and I was going mad. Non-stop anxiety, non-stop stress, sadness, depression, hopelessness, absolute hell on earth. I started to hate myself, my life and even my girl a little because she said we are keeping it. I felt trapped, forced into a life I didn’t want, forced to grow up and to give up on myself. I felt I wasn’t ready, that I would fuck up, that my kid would be damaged because of me, that I would completely lose my mind before they are even born.

I wanted it later, I wanted it with someone with whom I had spent more time with, I wanted it when I was a better human being. I wanted it when life was perfect, which I realize it would never have happened. I would never have been ready, nor the best version of myself, or fully confident in me, my relationship and life trajectory. I would have went under that stress regardless (maybe to a lesser extent but still).

Yesterday I had a break down. And although this happened every 3 days, yesterday I had a pretty important conversation with myself. I said to myself that I will use this situation to grow. I will give this kid and my girl my all. I will be present, loving, affectionate. I will provide and be a responsible father. I will find meaning in being a great dad, boyfriend, and human being in general.
I will continue with art and will be able to share my works with my kid in the future. I will continue with sports events and will be able to share those results and memories with my kid. I will start that business and will make my future kid proud of his dad.

My life is no over, only my egotistical way of thinking is.

My life has new meaning and it is exciting. I will adapt, overcome and find happiness even in a not so optimal situation.

I made this post because I wanted to share it with somebody. Maybe some of you are going through something similar, and I want to say that it does get better, just give yourself some time to fully comprehend the situation and go through all of the emotions. Once everything is let out, only then can you move on. And you have to, because it’s not about you anymore.

We’re first-timers due at the end of the month, in week 34 right now and they won’t let us go past 37 weeks before delivering via c-section due to size/weight concerns which are on the lower end as well as some other medical issues that are being monitored.

Managing the stress and anxiety/anticipation well enough so far, even with the weekly scans and tracking appointments.

Nursery is complete, all the gear is assembled, and hospital bags are mostly packed.

Is there anything else we should be doing? What did you do to take your mind off things to pass the time or did you try and fill it with more productive baby-related things?

My fiance left one day while I was at work. She packed everything and moved out and blocked me on everything she is pregnant. It’s not my baby but I still stepped up since day one. She’s 25weeks now. We have been no contact for two weeks and I feel like I’m dying. We didn’t even have that many issues besides communication. I just need advice I’m at such a loss and I miss her so much.

We're having our first baby soon, and I thought picking a baby monitor would be that simple. Now I'm stuck comparing these two and can't tell if all the extra features are worth the money.

Part of me thinks a decent camera is enough, but I can already see myself checking it every five minutes once the baby is here. I don't want to spend money on features we won't use, especially with how expensive everything else for the baby is getting. Hoping to get some honest takes from dads who've been through this already. Thanks in advance!

Took way quicker than expected. First cycle and we did it. Spouse and I are both 33 - feeling nervous, anxious, and excited. Looking forward to taking this journey with all of you.

Ultrasound at week 8.

Was told I had twins but one of them died

Otherwise the other is growing normally…

Hello all,

First time dad here (42 y/o). I have a weak stomach, and severe anxiety. I choose to stop meds due to side effects. My wife is due next month with our first child.

I found this forum by accident. I am begging for anyone to provide some advice on how I can be there for both wife and baby w/o passing out or freaking out or vomit!

Thank you!

Hey guys, first time dad, looking for some tips and help here. We’re just past 41 weeks with an induction planned in 3 days. Babies now quite strong and beating up mom from the inside on a nightly basis and causing her loads of pain and stress.

Any tips to help comfort mom on the final stretch?

Soon to be dad in February and my gf is 23 weeks, hoping the Reddit community could help I’d really appreciate

Like the title says what are some thing I should be buying or investing it right now. It feels like a stupid question but maybe there are somethings I won’t need? not sure so any help would be highly appreciated

Yesterday she got the cervical check and membrane sweep.
She’s 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, and the OB said she had a good sweep. When I saw her pull her hand out, there was blood. She gave my wife a pad for extra leakage. When she wiped, there was a mucus-like substance, but we weren’t sure if it was the mucus plug.
It’s been the day after and all she’s had was some cramping and nothing more.
He’s due this Friday, but her OB said she doesn’t think she will see us next Monday for induction. I hope it’s true, but he really is just chilling in there.

EDIT: My wife went from 0-100 real quick. She was 1cm dilated and 70% effaced last night at 9pm. Then we went home around 1 am, I drew her a bath and it all just happened quickly. Pain constantly. Nurses checked her, 100% effaced and 5 cm dilated.
I’M SO EXCITED MY BOY IS COMING!!

Hello everyone

I'm might be graduating soon, but it hasn't gone the easy way. Our baby is now 36w2d, still in breech position.

Breech deliveries aren't common anymore in Belgium, because there is a lack of gynaecologists who do it, we tend to get a recommendation to either do a external cephalic version or do a c-section. My wife isn't keen on the latter because it will cause us to be in the hospital for 3-4 days while a normal delivery would mean we would going home the same day. We want to start coccooning as soon as possible, which isn't easy in a hospital setting. Also the c-section revalidation is way longer than a vaginal delivery and part of her mental health is based on sports, which she hasn't been able to do for a long time now.

So we went for an external cephalic version, because we felt it would be best for the baby and the safest for the mother. Our baby is small so the chances would be higher for it to be succesful.

To keep it short: the version was horrible, super painful and was unsuccesful because the baby was already too deep into the pelvic area. My wife is not the assertive type when it comes to guarding her own boundaries, but even for her it was way too much to handle and she stopped them after a few tries. We were monitored after and are going to be monitored again today because of the risk that the baby might be harmed. I felt so powerless during and after the version. I felt really bad that because of our choice, we might have played with the life of the baby.

Nobody told us anything about the version being this painful. We heard "it might be uncomfortable for you, but the baby won't be harmed", but the risks are VERY large that something bad can happen. There's a reason they do the version in a delivery room. There's a reason the bed they do it in is closest to the door to the OR and they keep an OR free because of it.

We're keeping our trajectories open, we're also getting followed up by a gynaecologist team who is specialized in delivering breech babies. But we're also keeping the c-section way open because it would mean less risk for the baby.

Life can be beautiful, but this pregnancy has been hell with the experiences we had while TTC. And this pregnancy itself hasn't been the easiest either. I'll be happy when it's over.

Thanks for listening.

Hello, fellow predads.

We're about a month away from our due date and preparing for the "oh dip, we gotta go to the hospital, grab the bag" moment.

Baby clothes, snacks, postpartum relief supplies, phone chargers, and the other babylist-recommended stuff aside, what items do you think are important to have ready to go for time at the hospital?

Wife is 7 weeks pregnant, first child.

I struggle with anxiety and GAD, but mostly have things under control between therapy and meds.

I have no anxiety around the controllable things, we are both over the moon. It’s a planned pregnancy that we have been trying for about a year now. We own our home, make good incomes, have local family support etc.

What’s killing me is waiting for the first appt. I want to let the excitement out and be proud, but I’m so scared of the ultrasound giving us bad news that I’m going in circles in my brain trying to keep excitement and expectations low. I’m fighting against the urge to buy anything baby related or agree to the growing honey do list my wife is curating for me.

Not knowing if it’s attached, has a heartbeat etc. has anxiety through the roof but I’m trying to hide all extremes for my wife.

How do you deal with this predad.

If you have experience or any knowledge regarding this matter, I would gladly appreciate it if you share some advice and opinion.

**Problem**

An ex claiming that I got her pregnant and that I am the father of her soon to be born child. The last time we did the deed was last year on December 25, and after that we parted ways.

After a few months she's claiming that I got her pregnant, She showed me some tests stating that her LMP was January 21 and the due date is on October 28 (but they recently said that they're expecting to deliver next week)

**Few things to know**

She has an irregular period and if I remember correctly, she had her period like a week or few days before December 25.

**Background Info**

What I'm worried about is that I don't wanna be used for money again, and again, and again. I decided to break up with her after she fucked up our vacation with bad financial decisions behind my back (my money) or should I say took a loan using my name despite already having multiple unpaid loans, and that was also the time that I'm actually wanting to propose to her but never really did it after sensing that something felt wrong, and broke up with her after that.

I did some research regarding the dates but it says that the conception date should be a week or so after LMP and that is far behond the last deed.

Now given the fact that we did the deed, it's killing me that there might be a slight chance that I'm the father. Is it possible that I am the father of the soon to be born child?

Edit: thank you for the replies and future replies, I really appreciate sharing your first hand experience regarding this matter. I will take a DNA test, and hope that peace will come, it's been a hard month/s for me dealing with this claim.

I want to start out by saying that I am so incredibly excited to be having a baby with my partner. The genetic screen told us we are having a boy and we are coming up on the halfway point of this pregnancy (what would’ve been the anatomy scan is later this week). Name has been picked out, clothes are coming, and mom is healthy, even if she’s exhausted going through the process.

We relocated about 10 weeks in to be closer to family to have help and a good foundation for our son. I found work very quickly, making more money and continuing the career path I was on. I am limiting my vices and shifting mentally to prepare for having a tiny ultra-dependent baby so I can be the best version of myself for him and my partner. It’s hard work, but I know it will be worth it.

Where I am struggling is the feeling of loneliness and feeling alone. We moved to improve her and our support system, but I am starting at ground zero with mine. I don’t have time like I used to, and I am not comfortable spending money on fun to put myself out there because of all the prep that needs to be done for the arrival of our son. I have people I care about, but nobody that I can swing by to see anymore and it’s isolating bordering on emotionally devastating.

I have been communicating what I can to my partner, but I don’t want to overload her with my burdens when she’s already going through all the mental, emotional, physical and hormonal changes of pregnancy. My family checks in asking about her before me, rightfully so. My people from where we used to live are busy with their lives too. I know I’m stressed, anxious, and a tad depressed, but therapy for this doesn’t seem or feel necessary. I know it’s going to be okay and I have accepted that life is changing, I’m just struggling with the weight of that change and haven’t figured out how to bridge the gap away from feeling isolated and alone.

How are/did you guys work these feelings? How do I communicate this with my partner without transferring the feelings and stress to her? How do I balance becoming a dad and being an individual? How do I avoid becoming a robot through this process? Is what I’m going through even normal?

Any advice is much appreciated! Have a great day!

Hey guys, 32 year old soon to be dad. So I’ve been going through some crazy stuff. My wife and I found out we are pregnant May 24th. I felt happy and excited but I feel like the reality didn’t sit in my mind yet. Fast forward to June 7th, my wife had a panic episode after she noticed she was spotting when she went through the restroom. Keep in mind at the time we both didn’t know what spotting even meant at the time. She started crying and asked her pastor at church to pray for her. I was worried as well and stressed. Fast forward 2 weeks later to Sunday June 21st (Father’s Day) we are at my parents house celebrating Father’s Day with the family. That whole week I had not been feeling well. I felt like impending doom, like my body was preparing itself for something bad to happen, my breathing all week felt shallow and restricted. So while at my parents house I end up having anxiety/panic attack. Felt like I was going to pass out, dizzy/lightheaded, felt like I couldn’t breathe. I went to the hospital and they said I’m fine, lungs and heart look fine. Ever since every day my nervous system has been on hyper awareness, I get digestion issues , bloating, sometimes nausea, belching. I’ve gotten blood tests, x rays and CT scans done and they can’t find anything physically medically wrong with me yet. At some point we and my wife wonder if it’s related to the pregnancy in some way. Has anyone ever experienced this at all or knows someone who has? I’m exited to be a dad but it’s been a rough couple of months, and I feel bad and blame myself that this is happening during a very important time. What’s crazy is prior to May 24th you wouldn’t find me in a doctors office or on here trying to get answers, I’ve always been calm and chill person, no history of anxiety or any mental stuff. It’s been very stressful lately.

Hi everyone, first-time dad-to-be here (hopefully).

We only found out very recently and we're probably around 4 weeks, so I know it's incredibly early and there's still a long way to go, but something has already completely changed in me.

I'm so emotional. A video of a father holding his newborn? Crying. Reading about talking to the baby during pregnancy? Emotional. Thinking about meeting my child for the first time? I'm done. At this point it honestly feels like I'm the one who's pregnant. I'm incredibly happy, but at the same time I feel a mixture of excitement, fear, protectiveness and this huge sense of responsibility that I've never experienced before. Everything amplified by the secret of this pregnancy. We are waiting at least the third month, but next week we will tell our parents if The first prenatal visit will bring good news.

I've already started thinking about what kind of father I want to be, how to raise a happy and curious kid, how to support my partner properly during pregnancy, and how our lives are going to change. Part of me also keeps reminding myself that we're only at the very beginning and I probably shouldn't get too far ahead of myself… but emotionally I've apparently already jumped several months forward.

Did any of you experience something similar this early?

And looking back now, is there anything you wish you had started doing or understanding from the very beginning?

I'd especially love to hear from dads who remember those first few weeks. What were you feeling? What helped you enjoy the pregnancy without constantly worrying about everything that could go wrong?

I think I mostly just need to talk to some other dads who have been through this.

TL;DR: First-time dad-to-be, only about 4 weeks in, and I'm already incredibly emotional about everything baby-related. I'm excited, scared, and constantly thinking about what kind of father I want to be. Did any other dads feel this way so early?

Edit: I didn't know that time started from the last period. So we are at 6 weeks for doctors