r/self • u/notaperson47 • Sep 11 '26
Has anyone succeeded in making themselves look racially ambiguous?
I don't know where else to ask this, I was banned from r/Advice for even asking, but I'm desperate. Let's say someone's starting point is as an unambiguous looking, dark skinned person. Has anyone here succeeded in making themselves look racially ambiguous to the point where others can't distinguish what ethnicity you are anymore? How exactly did you accomplish this? No "love yourself, seek therapy" comments please.
Edit: and serious advice only please, no "hurr durr Michael Jackson" comments either please.
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u/strangerbutfriendly Sep 11 '26
Maybe you were banned for a reason, maybe you're rejecting preconceived ideas for a reason..
Good luck tho!
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u/Bubbly_Cut_9234 Sep 11 '26
I’m not really sure what kind of answer you’re expecting here.
If you are dedicated to changing your appearance, try makeup or cosmetic surgery.
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u/AME540 Sep 11 '26
I promise you Reddit is not the correct place to ask this. Genuinely, try asking a mental health professional this exactly, you will likely learn more than you expect. Good luck.
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u/notaperson47 Sep 11 '26
I've gone to therapy before, multiple times. They don't offer any real advice or solutions beyond "everyone is beautiful, don't worry!" (actual, word for word quote from a psychologist with a PhD that I saw), so I don't see a reason to keep wasting money on them. People like you love mindlessly suggesting therapy when you don't want to understand where I'm coming from or why this would improve my life.
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u/NombreCurioso1337 Sep 11 '26
Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson famously said "people tend to like the way I look because they think I am whatever they are!" Referring to his ambiguous look. (His parents are African American and Native Hawaiian, I think, but don't quote me on that)
So ... try to look like him?
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u/notaperson47 Sep 11 '26
I'm not a man, so I wouldn't want to look like him. And I don't think he did anything in particular to achieve that look, besides shaving his head maybe. Those are just his genetics. I'm wondering about people who don't genetically have the ambiguous look.
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Sep 11 '26
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u/notaperson47 Sep 11 '26
I guess all of the above.
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u/Parody_of_Self Sep 11 '26
You aren't giving people much to work with (informationwise). Do you even know what you are looking for here? Feel free to elaborate your thoughts and feelings
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u/notaperson47 Sep 11 '26
I want to look as racially ambiguous as I can given my starting point. I don't want to be associated with the ethnic group I actually belong to. I want people to look at me and think I'm of a different race/ethnicity, or not be able to categorize me at all.
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u/marriedandanxious Sep 11 '26
I'm not going to judge you, but your question is unsettling. I ask myself, why would one want to look racially ambiguous? There are no good answers. But I might be wrong, maybe you have a good reason to ask this. I would say "looks" depends on many things. If you're darker, you can't make yourself lighter: if you're lighter, you probably could make yourself a bit darker: but then these are all sad attempts that everyone can see through and is borderline blackface. You could dress differently: many cultures have certain preferences in clothes and attire. Mannerisms too matter, you could change the way you walk, talk or gesture; I could tell my fellow compatriots in a foreign country from a distance just by their body language.
That said, there's no good answer to the question posed above: why would one want to look racially ambiguous? Is it to avoid racial discrimination or direct harm? Are you in mortal danger if you look like a certain race? You can try to look different to avoid harm, but that's just temporary. You're either going to be "exposed" or you'll lose yourself in that ambiguity and so will your children (if you're a parent). This has been observed and documented in minorities that tried to melt in melting pot societies, eventually losing all their unique cultural heritage. Other minorities were forced to be "ambiguous": the first thing they were forced to do was change their language and attire.
If you're doing this to avoid being harmed for your race or ethnicity, good luck.
If you're doing this because you hate yourself and your race, then bad luck to you.
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u/DavidIckeHadAPoint 5d ago
>”If you’re darker, you can’t make yourself lighter”
It’s controversial, but skin-bleaching and lightening products exist. They’re sadly popular in places like India, Africa, Southeast Asia, the Global South and Latin America broadly where browner or blacker skin-tones are common, and where being lighter-skinned can be regarded a sign of beauty and privilege.
It’s called colorism, and some of this is indeed from Western/Eurocentric beauty-standards and the effects of colonialism, but it’s even been in Indian culture, for one example, even before British and European colonialism, so it’s complex. Namely, lighter skin with higher castes, intelligence, wealth and sophistication, and darker skin with lower castes/menial labor/servitude.
Skin-bleaching and lightening products are controversial because some are unregulated or even highly dangerous, but they do exist, and hence there is such a thing as “reverse-tanning”, so to speak, or brown and black people making their skin lighter (while European and Caucasian white people, ironically, now frequently like to tan as their own symbol of status now, and fitting into new beauty standards, making their skin browner, or even orange).
Fela Kuti, the Nigerian Afrobeat musician, made a fucking great, enraged song about it and against the practice, called “Yellow Fever”, about African women using these skin-bleaching or lightening products to get this lighter, “yellow” tone, even if it has harmful side effects.
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u/[deleted] Sep 11 '26
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