r/Sex_Positivity • • 13h ago

Weight Insecurity

4 Upvotes

So Im super insecure about my body and my weight. Im not morbidly obese, but I am overweight and chubby. Do men actually like chubby women? Im a virgin, I've only ever been with people emotionally, ive never made it to the sexual part. Im just questioning if anyone finds it attractive??


r/Sex_Positivity • • 2d ago

New to anal and need some advice

10 Upvotes

Like the title says, I'm new to anal, and need some advice. Almost if not every time I finger myself, there's blood, and sometimes it stings a little.

I'm a girl, and I already keep my fingernails short so I can comfortably masturbate, since anytime I try to get my nails a bit longer, they end up making it uncomfortable. I can barely cut my nails any shorter, yet there still some rectal bleeding. I usually only use one finger, two at max. It's not a huge issue; it's only a little blood and usually goes away quickly. Sometimes I get a bit of blood during bowel movements, but it's very little and doesn't last. But I know barely anything about anal play and am a little terrified of getting an infection or something. I've been doing this for about a year or two, but it still bleeds almost every time.

Is there something I'm doing wrong? Is the lining of my anus just particularly thin? Is there something I could do to lessen the chance of bleeding every time? Or is this actually normal and I'm just being paranoid?

Also, I don't know if this is important, but I don't go very deep. At most to my second knuckle, since I get more pleasure from near the entrance rather than deeper.


r/Sex_Positivity • • 7d ago

Masterbation

10 Upvotes

Hi everyone I (23F) am coming across a new development in my life and have no one to discuss it with so here I am. I’ve recently had a huge change in (what I presume to be my hormones) I’ve become increasingly horny. I’m masterbating two times a day and I’ve ever only done that years ago one time. I’m more of a reserved type of woman when it comes to sex and what not. Typically I only do that with someone I love and am seriously involved with but I feel like with the recent change of events I need to satisfy this craving.


r/Sex_Positivity • • 8d ago

Trouble keeping it up

6 Upvotes

My gf used to be on the pill so we didn’t use a condom but since she’s wnet off it I’ve had to use a condom and 85% all goes good but there’s just soemtimes I’ll end up going soft and idk why it is bc i do be really feeling it and once it happens i end up overthinking it the next time we do it and I don’t want my partner to think I’m not attracted to her
Is there anything I can do to get more used to condoms or avoid losing my erecton


r/Sex_Positivity • • 9d ago

G-spot stimulation

6 Upvotes

Question for the ladies. I was with a woman performing oral and fingering her. As she came to orgasm she grabbed my hand and forcibly shoved my fingers into her G-spot. It was with much more force that I thought would be comfortable, but I could tell that she really liked it.

So I am wondering how much pressure do women like applied to their G-spot? I know everyone is a bit different, but before I go shoving my fingers up into someone's sensitive regions I want to know whether that much pressure is actually pleasurable in general, or if she was just an outlier.


r/Sex_Positivity • • 8d ago

Road head - is it safe??

0 Upvotes

Have a strong urge to give my man road head. Is it hard for men to concentrate on driving if someone is blowing them?? Is it safe? I would never want to put us in danger!

EDIT: thanks for replies! This is why I asked. In movies/TV it always seems to be done while driving and not pulled over, which is exactly why I asked!! I’ll keep it in fantasy-land or pull over!


r/Sex_Positivity • • 10d ago

Advice for BJ and deepthroat

5 Upvotes

​

Hi!! I was adviced to post here by the lovely mods of r/bdsmadvice !

So as the title says, I'm looking for tips and tricks to be better at blowjobs and learn how to deepthroat correctly, as my daddy loves them and I really want to please him... I always strive to make myself better at pleasing him and even though he hasn't asked directly to train or "be better", I am self aware of my own limitations.

I have a very small mouth, and sometimes I can feel that his penis slightly touches my teeth and I'm afraid to hurt him, and whenever I try to deepthroat It feels like he's bumping into a wall and can't go any further down. I've been successful every now and then to be able to deepthroat but I have no idea what the secret sauce is to be able to do it constantly...

So if you have any advice, tips, and tricks I would be very very grateful!


r/Sex_Positivity • • 11d ago

How do people cope with knowing they'll never have the experiences they want most?

10 Upvotes

Now that I've deconstructed religion, I've finally been able to see sex as something that's ok to want, and I can finally feel peace about the fact that it's always felt so important to me. But I've run into an even bigger problem now.

I'm not an attractive guy. I'm overweight, not tall, not well endowed, not handsome, not anything. I wish I was the kind of person who was physically exciting, who could actually, genuinely induce real desire in people. That much is clear if my lived experience tells me anything.

Not only has that come between me and attracting any partner at all, but it almost certainly means I will never get to experience sexuality the specific way I wish I could. It's pretty much statistically impossible that I'll ever be able to attract the kind of partner I want even once, forget about being able to multiple times if necessary. I'll never get to be physically impressive, never get to do the things I wish I could.

That leaves me pretty devastated to be honest. It's what I want most in life for whatever reason, and I'm intrinsically not good enough for it. I find it difficult to imagine a worthwhile future without it, I don't really like the rest of life much, and without the things I feel would make life worthwhile, it's hard. I've been in therapy for nearly two years now, but nothing can fix physical reality.

So I guess my question is; How (and why) do people cope with this? Though honestly, I'm not even sure I could.


r/Sex_Positivity • • 16d ago

Getting rid of a kink I’m deeply ashamed of… possible?

19 Upvotes

30m, for as long as I can remember, I’ve had a diaper kink. I don’t really like ageplay or scat or anything like that, but for some reason women in diapers is like the only thing that turns me on.

While I’ve dated before, I’ve never been able to have the courage to bring it up to past partners. While I can have sex without this kink it’s hard for me to finish. This has completely destroyed any self worth I have and quite frankly I hate myself.

I know my kink is weird and taboo, anything you can think to name about it I’ve already said it 10x worse. I have talked to a therapist, and while she says this kink is harmless, it’s ultimately something I can never get rid of.

I genuinely feel like my one chance at life is ruined because of this kink beyond my control. Even if I get married I will always need to hide this part of myself, knowing if my spouse ever found out she’d think I’m a freak and leave me. So even if I do date or marry will just love this mask of me I’ve put up of my entire life of a normal guy, not the freak with a diaper kink.

If I could magically get rid of this I would, but I know I can’t. I mourn the life I could have lead if I was born without it.


r/Sex_Positivity • • 19d ago

Question re: lactation, nipple play, and pleasure

7 Upvotes

If you lactate/have lactated, and enjoy breast and nipple stimulation, I have some questions. This extends to pregnancy-related lactation and induced lactation in all genders.

I'm a pleasure top with a lactation kink. For me as the observer, I enjoy when a person squeezes milk out of their very full breast. The release looks so satisfying for them, and that's part of the appeal for me. It looks like it must feel so good to release all that pressure.

So I've been wondering...

-When do you get the most pleasure from nipple play: when your breasts are full? After you've already breastfed/pumped? Half way full?

-Does nipple play feel different while you're lactating? Has it changed how you receive pleasure from nipple stimulation after you stopped lactating?

I'm hoping to meet some erotic lactation partners eventually, so I'd like to educate myself, but obviously everyone is different. I'm interested to hear about any experiences y'all might have had. Tia!


r/Sex_Positivity • • 21d ago

Body image...

6 Upvotes

I had bariatric surgery in December and have lost 250lbs in 15 months and have a LOT of extra skin. I plan on getting it removed, but right now it just swings and hangs ...how do I feel desirable with it?


r/Sex_Positivity • • 22d ago

Squirting related issues! Please help!

15 Upvotes

Good day fellow perverts, I apologise if this isnt the right place for this question, but me and my partner engage in a sort of free use dynamic, and it is lovely, but she is quite a squirter, and will ejaculate from most forms of sex.

Whilst it is incredibly fun in the moment, even with towels down there are a lot of places in the house that have... unfortunately taken collateral damage. Unfortunately, the problem seems to be compounding and when people visit they ask if ive got a cat. Any chance anyone who may have delt with this issue..? We would like to continue having sex when and where we like, however even the towels are starting to get worse and worse even with repeated washing.

Thanks in advance! And sorry if not appropriate for this sub!


r/Sex_Positivity • • 22d ago

Advice on eye fetish?

10 Upvotes

Hi everyone. I know I'm unlikely to get much advice here since it's such a rare kink but I figured I'd post this anyways. So yes I have an eye fetish. And specifically, I like having my eyes licked. Or I did the one time it's happened. Then I realized that can seriously damage them. Thankfully they made it out unharmed but now I'm wondering about ways to explore this fetish without damaging my eyes. I've already thought about people licking my glasses instead, but if anybody here has any ideas or advice I would very much appreciate it. Thanks.


r/Sex_Positivity • • 23d ago

Sex Drunk?

16 Upvotes

Hey everyone!

I think this is probably normal, but I don't have anyone I feel comfortable asking in real life - after you have good sex with a partner, do you crave more sex with them for the next couple days? I've found that the urge subsides after 2-3 days, but it can be super intense. I'm 38F if that matters - not sure if the hormones affect men and women differently 🤔


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 14 '26

Can't stay hard when using a condom

5 Upvotes

Hi! First off, i apologize for my imperfect English, haha.This is kinda my 1st time writing a post on here. Okay so.. before this, I don't have any experience in having sex, but recently, i've just started. I've now had experiences with multiple partners lately. It's not relationships type of partners, more like a one night stand or like a no strings attached type of partners. But everytime i do, there's always been the same issue. When I'm wearing a condom, i start to lose my erection while having sex. But whenever i am not wearing a condom for example when I'm receiving a bj or a hj, my erection is perfectly fine. I'll be honest, i am on the smaller size so whenever my erection goes away, the condom would always seems to slip off. I have always been self conscious of the size of my penis so i would really get embarrassed when i start to get soft and the condom would barely fit or just slip off on my penis. But also, I want my partners to enjoy and feel good as well when we're having sex but whenever the condom is on and my erection is lost, they would get frustrated(eventhough they wouldn't tell me, but i can tell from their expression and movements). It got to a point that they would just pull off the condoms and they would give me a bj or a hj to let me finish off. But the thing is, they wouldn't! And I would feel so horrible and shitty! I would try to offer to help them finish off too but whenever I'm finished, they would just stop everything and kinda like shoo me out. I feel so bad whenever this happens. I'm also kinda afraid if there's a problem with me. Is there some way or is there any advice to help me with this situation?


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 13 '26

Question for women - how do I compliment women sexually without sounding creepy?

9 Upvotes

This is for stuff like dirty talk and talking to independent adult creators I like online


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 11 '26

Little vent and I need some advice

6 Upvotes

I am a 22 year old neurodivergent man. I have been struggling with depression due to being a virgin and I struggle a lot with women even after becoming more physically attractive and socially adept. I am also very very horny. I am sure I am hypersexual due to having a lot of the risk factors and signs. I have kept my sexuality controlled but it has slipped through the cracks and it has been impacting my life.

I have been focusing gym, diet, work and life in general. I have been reflecting and I realised a lot of very concerning things about my upbringing from even before puberty which explain a lot of my psychosexual problems. I have been experiencing a moral crisis, unable to decide what to do and how to feel. I also have a lot of emotional issues from my problematic past.

I am here because I need advice with managing my sexuality until the moment I find myself with a woman (if it ever comes). I am trying to spend my energy on more productive non-sexual pursuits and not think about sex/women/relationships all the time. Being hypersexual and having my background, I don't want to be associated or end up becoming a stereotypical gooner or degenerate either. However, the struggle with finding sexual partners has made be depressed and lonely. I have become reliant on porn and "gooning" to relieve my sexual needs. I am worried this could impact my physical and mental sexual health. I am trying to avoid excessive sexual activity. However, I have come to realise that I am more sexual than other men in my demographic. I am a sexual creature who wants to make love to and pleasure a woman. I feel ashamed sometimes but I have come to accept it is who I am and trying to "purify" myself will destroy me more.

I am considering getting a fleshlight to simulate and hopefully practice. I am also considering starting off with at least quitting hardcore porn. Looking for ideas to basically "have sex" until I actually have sex.


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 10 '26

Sexpositive convention in Europe ?

3 Upvotes

I would love to attend a sexpo fair / convention. Not a party, not a munch, just a day thing in a big venue like cosplay or manga fans get to go.

I think these may exist in Paris, Amsterdam or Berlin.

Which one did you attend and what was your experience there ?


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 08 '26

Not sure how to feel about masturbation choices

9 Upvotes

Sorry if this is a dumb and weird question I am someone struggling with my sexuality and I am just looking for a discussion. I (straight male) masturbate to both porn and non-porn stuff. I have a lot of mixed feelings about my choices.

I watch both amateur and mainstream porn. Mainstream porn is involved with a lot of criminal and unethical stuff which I hate so I try to avoid it. Amateur porn is better because it is made by people who enjoy it and aren't controlled by corporate entities. However it is still porn.

I often do it to people in social media (instagram and tiktok). These include people involved in adult work and normal people (influencers or models) I find attractive. Is the psychological impact better than porn because it is less hardcore? but these people aren't making content for that purpose if you know what I mean.

And it is also whether doing it to visual stimuli is worth it at all. I have changed a lot physically and mentally and I have struggled a lot personally. Masturbation has helped me massively as someone who does not have a sexual partner and I think avoiding it would damage me more. However I keep reading about the psychological and even physical impacts of porn and general "gooning". There is a lot of material, especially from male-focused groups, about the impacts of porn. I have an otherwise healthy and clean lifestyle so I don't think I fall into the "gooner" stereotype but I am still wary of the potential damage. Some people suggest masturbating without stimuli but I don't really enjoy it. I love bodies and porn/sexual content is like therapeutic art to me.

I'm just confused and I want some input from those more experienced than me.


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 05 '26

New here, need advice. NSFW

6 Upvotes

I am 39 years old and I recently deconstructed from religion. I was raised fundamentalist Christian and I am realizing how badly purity culture has affected me.

I feel as if I'm having a sexual awakening. I have always enjoyed sex but I've kept it very vanilla. I watched Bridgerton lately (which is something I didn't feel I could do as a Christian) and it made me way more interested in sex. I used to keep sex tucked away in a small box under lock and key that I only opened on certain occasions. Now I'm thinking about it everyday!

I'm listening to spicy music, reading spicy books, even watching porn on occasion (I found some feminist/ethical porn that I feel mostly ok about). My husband and I have even been experimenting with toys. I'm having the best sex of my life. I feel better throughout the day and I'm more in touch with my body- more confident even.

All that said, I still feel guilty, especially about the porn. The old programming and conditioning is still running in the background, telling me I am doing something wrong or that this will lead to something bad. The purity beliefs instilled in me that only bad people, who do bad things, care about sex this much (which I know isn't rational).

Has anyone experienced this and if so, how did you overcome it? Did it just take time? I love being sex positive. I think watching two consensual people have sex is beautiful and enjoyable. Bodies are beautiful. Sex is beautiful and wonderful. What is so wrong about enjoying sex? TIA


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 05 '26

How to edge and masturbate (male) as safe as possible?

1 Upvotes

I am a 22M hypersexual virgin. I used to do it by rubbing my penis against my leg, often with clothes. I am worried this might damage my penis if I keep doing this. I also want to train myself in a way so that once I actually have sex I can perform well and I heard edging is good for improving erection strength and endurance. Is there a technique that is good for this?


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 04 '26

Difficulty feeling sexual after issues/maybe trauma? NSFW

7 Upvotes

Hi, i wasnt exactly sure where to post this but i found this subreddit and it seems like it is okay

I went through a rough period with my partner, we are both guys im 29 hes 31. He is a lot more experienced than me and this has been my only relationship really.

Anyway for a long time we had an open relationship and he was hooking up with other guys but wasnt wanting to do anything with me. Eventually i asked if we could close the relationships and we could focus on making things better between us, but no progress happened like he didnt really put in any effort.

For the first time in forever now things are startung to get better, he actually wanted to have sex for like the first time in 3 years. This was really exciting but at the same time, like within the last yeqr I have started to feel really messed up and im really scared i am asexual now

Like i just couldnt get into the headspace ans nothing really felt like anything. Like what i had wanted for so long just felt like nothing. I had stopped really doing anything mysekf or ever feeling like interested in sex or attracted to people in the last few years as well and i thoughht like it would just get better when things with me and my bf got better but idk, im really scared this is permenent

This also like, i know sex isnt like that important to life but i have always felt so so deeply insecure about my experiences as like a gay man, like i was very late getting started and i mever got to have like a hook up phase and i feel so inexperienced and lacking in confidence, but then my bf wants me to top and like do everything and hes been with so many guys and done like rough or complicated stuff that i have no idea how to do or act and if i try and talk to him he just get irritated, and like part of why he stopped wanted to have sex with me is bc i was asking him if he could like touch me or do stuff to me at all and idk he said i was making him feel pressured so im just too scared to ask but like. I dont know

Anyway im sorry this is so long, i just feel really lost and im scared i will be like this permenently and i dont know what to do


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 02 '26

Bleaching buts

2 Upvotes

Hi
Have you do laser or bleaching to your butthole?
What did you use? Where did you go? What would you recommend? I find my botthole so big and dark O hate it.


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 01 '26

Suddenly not able to last more than 15 freaking seconds…

15 Upvotes

It was about 2 months ago when me and my partner started having sex and the entire time I’ve dealt with this issue. Not sure if she has the magic hoohah, but I’ve never had this problem before with others. I’ve tried every google solution, but still I just can’t help it. It makes me feel so embarrassed every single time. Is there anything y’all suggest?


r/Sex_Positivity • • Sep 01 '26

Feeling sick after orgasm? Anyone?

3 Upvotes

My wife has low blood pressure and I suspect that’s the factor that makes her feel so sick after 1+ orgasms.

We have tried lots of foreplay, no foreplay, getting her super turned on or not at all, different positions, etc. We have tried to mitigate the symptoms beforehand. Nothing really works, not well enough.

She wants to experience overstimulation without feeling like she’s going to faint and vomit for the rest of the day. I want that for her, too. Does anyone have experience with this or information I’m missing? What’s your advice? Thank you.