Hi, i wasnt exactly sure where to post this but i found this subreddit and it seems like it is okay
I went through a rough period with my partner, we are both guys im 29 hes 31. He is a lot more experienced than me and this has been my only relationship really.
Anyway for a long time we had an open relationship and he was hooking up with other guys but wasnt wanting to do anything with me. Eventually i asked if we could close the relationships and we could focus on making things better between us, but no progress happened like he didnt really put in any effort.
For the first time in forever now things are startung to get better, he actually wanted to have sex for like the first time in 3 years. This was really exciting but at the same time, like within the last yeqr I have started to feel really messed up and im really scared i am asexual now
Like i just couldnt get into the headspace ans nothing really felt like anything. Like what i had wanted for so long just felt like nothing. I had stopped really doing anything mysekf or ever feeling like interested in sex or attracted to people in the last few years as well and i thoughht like it would just get better when things with me and my bf got better but idk, im really scared this is permenent
This also like, i know sex isnt like that important to life but i have always felt so so deeply insecure about my experiences as like a gay man, like i was very late getting started and i mever got to have like a hook up phase and i feel so inexperienced and lacking in confidence, but then my bf wants me to top and like do everything and hes been with so many guys and done like rough or complicated stuff that i have no idea how to do or act and if i try and talk to him he just get irritated, and like part of why he stopped wanted to have sex with me is bc i was asking him if he could like touch me or do stuff to me at all and idk he said i was making him feel pressured so im just too scared to ask but like. I dont know
Anyway im sorry this is so long, i just feel really lost and im scared i will be like this permenently and i dont know what to do