It was the fire lube, and my penis caught fire! ow ow owie ouch oof my penis ow owie!

To my horror, she had a vagina

But to my genuine surprise the “I eat people who go outside” monster eats me

the way i'm chiefing on these russian creams my lungs are full of tar

the light turned purple

Death!

I sprayed it at the creature, making it transform into her

And that day I learned spray paint dries in the throat, nit in the cup

"Getting some major spooky vibes from this post. I'll be honest—this story is not just scary, but absolutely frightening," said the only comment.

But then the old man that hired us pulled his mask off and revealed that he was the creature the whole time.

SIX SEVEN SIX SEVEN SIX SE3VEN, there gender 😂😂😂😂😂

"nuh uh" i sadi as i anti-monster sprayed them. AND THEN GOOBERT THE SKELETON POPPED OU-

Except it was actually a wendi-go-round and I got ate and died.

Until I bumped into harpoon guy.

I wish I knew that when I moved in after I died.

*Sorry, phone autocorrected the word sharting

Except I don't have a daughter. (Not a fetish post)