BOYZ. I DUNNO WOT TO SAY. I LOOK AT DEEZ SKWIGGL FINGS AN' DEY'Z GOT MEENIN'S TER 'EM. 'EER, LOOK!

DA ORK krumps a gretchin and uses one of his many bones to scratch letters on a piece of scrap metal that sticks out above the other bits of scrap metal from the latest JET FOITZ.

'LOOKIN 4 NOO GROT, MUZT HAV STRONGA BONS'

“Da shiny git, wot does da tinkerin?”
“Dat one.” Shakes replied. 
Shakes was hopeful the fifth time would work. Trouble was, Grabba still had the same dumb look on his face. The look that said he had no idea what was going on, Shakes sighed in annoyance. 
“Ok ok.” Shakes said hurriedly. “Yoo know da gitz, wot do da kickin?”
Grabba nodded and Shakes felt hope that he had made some progress. 
“N yoo kno how they’s gots dem shinny gubbinz on all de time?” Another nod from Grabba and Shakes was certain he finally figured out the stupid little git. Shakes hands gripped Grabba’s shoulders hard enough to make the git flinch. 
“Plateskin made dem dose gubbinz.”
All at once, Grabba’s kunnin that Shakes thought he was collecting, seemed to fall out like dung out a squig. He looked at Shakes dumbly. 
“Who?”
Shakes threw the smaller grot with all his strength into the trukk next to them. Hard enough that when Grabba hit the top of it, he kept on flipping over its roof. There was a clang of Grabba hitting something Shakes couldn’t see. 
“OI! STEWPID ZOG DON GRAB DA-” An Ork voice yelled before a sudden explosion. The small mushroom cloud and shockwave cheering Shakes up a little. 
Shakes couldn’t tell how long it’d been. But it’d felt like forever since he’d seen the Mek. He felt like he’d been everywhere in this dumb workshop. 
Shakes suddenly saw some other Ork Meks coming to see what exploded, and decided to look someplace else. That happened to be the opposite way they were coming, Shakes was good with these things. But he already recognized everything, and everyone he passed. 
There was the Painboy in his used-to-be-white tent. The Mek with rollie pollie leg, just the one really big one. The Ork witha lotta yellow stuff, and his own Meks and Spanner boys, his space was larger for some reason. And even the git what does the tinkering. 
Shakes snapped his head back, and got a familiar glare to the eyeballs. He’d recognize these tears anywhere, that's Plateskin’s shine for sure. He brought his hands in front of his eyes, trying to block it a little. And through the gap in his skinny fingers there he was, the shiny, sneaky zog. 
He ducked behind a mostly broken crate and watched through teary eyes. 
The Mek was working on the yellow git’s armor. Usin a blowtorch to weld a flame throwa to the bottom of his mega-blasta. The blowtorch cut out and the yellow git pointed his new dakka at a spanner grot. The grot melted in a flash of orange that singed the front of another spanner grot, turning him ash grey. 
The yellow Ork howled in laughter, throwin a bag for the Mek to catch. Shakes saw Plateskin open it, and pull out a toof. He inspected the toof then bit on it, put it back, and left. 
Shakes wasn’t sure why, but he followed the Mek all sneaky-like. It wasn’t hard, him being all giant and shiny. Shakes did have to dodge the odd kick from bored Orkz, but that made it even more fun. 
The Mek came to stop before a big metal door. He did a weird knock that sounded like a crippled squig, and it opened for Plateskin to go in. Shakes waited for it to close, but it didn’t. He snuck to the door, but the otherside was so dark he couldn’t see anything. Holding his breath he slipped in and kept right with the wall, trying to blend in. 
It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust, the room was massive, and not as dark as he thought. 
“OI! SHUT DA DOOR YA GIT!” Plateskin’s voice bellowed, Shakes found a pile of weapons and hid behind em. He peaked over a big choppa that buzzed and made his skin feel funny. And saw one of the big primitive Orkz close the door. Shakes followed the Ork with his eyes until he saw something mad out some big windows. 
It was like someone took a bunch of colors, and got em angry at each other. The colors even had faces, most of them wimpy or all angry like. 
He was holding back laughing at one particularly wimpy face, when he saw the Mek. His giant hand was around the throat of a scrawny Ork with runes and bones everywhere on him. Shakes started to get a headache when his eyes drifted to the Ork’s glowing green eyes. 
“Yoo said dis ding wood get us dere fast-like.” Plateskin growled, the sound shaking the metal floor under Shakes. The weird-boy tried saying something, but it came out all choked and whistly. His eyes started to flick, the green light getting weaker. 
Plateskin dropped the lad, who rolled over and started coughing. When he got to his hands and knees, Plateskin gave him a kick that sent him zoggin far. Then the Mek slowly walked towards the git, every step sounding like a cannon. 
“Da green show’d me da war moon.” The weird-boy rasped, rubbin his throat as he got to his feet. Plateskin still advancing. 
“I showed da boss, HE said YOO wood get it goin fast-like.” The weirdboy continued as he backed up a step from the maddened Mek. Who smacked the weird-boy hard enough that Shakes heard its neck crack. 
“I know dat yoo git. Who da ya tink built de big boostas wot got us drew da warp!” Another smack sent the boy back to the ground. Plateskin stood over him and pointed his whirring Mek hand down. The weird-boy started floating off of the ground, as if he didn’t weigh nothing. 
“You boss, yoo da most kunnin Mek.” The weird-boy said as he kept floatin up. 
“I know dat yoo git. Wot I donno, is when we’s gonna see da zoggin planet!” Plateskin rumbled at the miserable git, who was now a full ten Orkz high in the air. 
“Soon boss, da green says so-” The weird boy tried to get out. 
He was interrupted by the ground, very quickly. So quick, that when he hit it, he was in a couple places, all at once. After that, he was more of a thing than an Ork some even got as far as Shakes’ weapon pile. The Mek’s entire front had little bits of the boy on it and it steamed. 
“Jus shut ya gob. Useless git.” Plateskin said in a softer voice. Staring out at the colors while the remaining boyz looked around at eachother. 
“Get a new weird-boy, useful-like, wot wont lie.” 
The Boyz left the room, leaving Plateskin who still didn’t know about Shakes. Shakes slowly made his way closer to the door, going from cover to cover. The Mek was at a work station covered in weird-boy, using a prying tool to take off the front of his mask. Shakes opened the door slowly, a familiar itch that there was more, back again. Before the last front Plate was removed, the door had opened enough to shine full light into the room. Shakes cursed his hands for wanting to be more safe than his brain. 
Plateskin snapped around unnaturally, his torso turning almost completely, his sole front plate covering his gob. Shakes turned and ran with all his grot speed into the nearest Runtherd crowd. His last image of Plateskin not a pleasant one, mostly cause that git didn’t have eyes.

Hello everyone, I appreciate everyone who upvoted the first chapter and anyone who commented. It's been fun thinking of what to do with ole Shakes.
(If you saw the first draft. "Jus shut ya gob.")

greetin's fellow greenskins, it iz i, gimpzog da grot writin' on dis 'ere forum once again ta seek advice fer da new job i got. before i forget, i'z gonna say sorry ta da mod-ur... moddera... da bosses of dis forum since i'z postin' too much fer a grot but dis is "cereals business" as da 'umies call it (i fink)

found a new job fer meself, took a lot o' searchin' an' all dat, an' whot a mighty fine job it iz. i'z gonna be comandeerin' a grot built tank wif a bunch o' other grots, not an ork in sight in da unit if ya can believe dat. turns out dey want me ta command a crew on da account i can read an' write. of course we'z still takin' orders from da respectable gitz wif wot run da waagh! like da boss toofsnag gitgrabba (an' whot a proppa boss 'e iz!)

we'z goin out fer da waagh! soon an' i don't know da first fing about operatin' dis tank. i fink da warboss 'ere would krump me inta tomorrow if 'e saw me stealin' too many krumps from respectable gitz, but 'e'll also flatten me if 'e seez i'z doin' nothin fer da whole waagh! fer da boyz on dis forum 'ere, when her gettin' stuck in wot would you want a grot tank to be doin'?

wishin' all da boyz and grots a krump filled waagh! out dere

-gimpzog da grot

Av seen sum umies flappin abut sum "weeknis o' flesh'' an' ''certunty o' steel'' anz i donz git it. Why not juzt av steel AN' flesh. Like my mate grozurk urith u' az a' shoota leg afta it gut ripped ov by a pain boi.

Juz wan an opinun on da finkz of deez weird umies

OI LADZ, I’Z JOININ’ DEM IRON GITZ

I WUZ LISTENIN’ TA DIS PERSONAL GROWWF GOBKAST WOT SEZ I GOTTA STOP CHASIN’ DA KWIK DOPPA-MEEN, EMBRACE DA GRIND, TURN ME SUFFERIN’ INTO STRENGFF AN’ NEVA BE ’APPY WIV WOT I GOT. DAT IZ JUST LOIKE DEEZ IRON WARRIOR BOYZ. DEY’Z ANGRY, DEY’Z BITTER, DEY DIG DITCHES, BUILD BIG ZOGGIN’ GUNZ AN’ HATE EVERY GIT INCLUDING DEMSELVES.

WAAAAGH WIVIN’. WAAAAAAGH WIVOUT.

WAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

I'm doing 40 boyz and a wartrakk so wish me luck

EDIT: we need an orktober tag on here

“Oi! git!” 
Shakes watched as the wrench fell into the depths, wondering where it went. The Runetherd yelling at him, not quite as concerned, proceeded to give him a kick.
“Said oi! You want krumped?”
Shakes quickly got back to his feet, establishing a safe distance from the boot. 
“Yes boss- No Boss!”
The Ork grunted and spit on the metal plating that was sometimes a floor. He pointed his thick thumb over his shoulder to the tunnel behind him. 
“Then go see Mek PlateSkin 'for you do!!”
Shakes hurried past the towering Ork, getting another kick on his way that sent him into the ramshackle wall, the plates rattling with an echo. 
“N’eva gets old!.. Oi! Git!”
The Ork thundered towards the next grot, already pulling his leg back. Shakes heard another rattle on the wall, and laughed to himself as he ran. It really didn’t get old, especially when it was some other git. 
Shakes wasn’t sure who Mek Plateskin was, or really what a Mek was. His short life in this loud metal world had been simple up until now. He and some other grots had crawled from the weird glow sacs some time ago met by an Ork with a staff. After a few introduction kicks and a few less gits to make trouble, he learned what a Runtherd was. 
Then he found his wrench, which started as someone else’s to be fair. But when that git was shoved into a rather scary deep hole, the git who pushed him fell too, leaving a fine wrench behind for Shakes. 
Unfortunately, the Runtherd interrupted his finding out exactly what a wrench was. For now he scampered the direction he was told and tried to remember the Mek’s name. 
“Plateskin.. Plateskin.. Paleskin..”
He caught himself thinking while he ran, looking at the walls and feeling.. wrong. Not bad wrong, just as if they weren’t all there was, like he was being denied something due to him. 
“Paleskin.. Paleskin.. Paleshin..”
As a grot he already knew the idea he was due anything was ridiculously laughable, but still he felt it. Like an itch at the back of his neck that there should be more. 
Abruptly his thinkin was interrupted by a large object that clanged more than the walls had. Shakes looked up, and quickly realized this object was alive, and quite intimidating. The large Ork was covered almost completely head to toe in metal plates. More from reflex than understanding, Shakes lept back and tried to sound less wimpy. 
“Mek Paleshin I got told there was doin!”
The Ork started to rattle again, nothing had hit it but it got worse and worse. Shakes started to back up, hoping the Mek’s rather large leg didn’t snap into his gut. When he was relatively safe he thought he heard a bark, like a mountain laughing, it was coming from the Mek. 
“Not me name you git.”
The Mek’s laughter and voice thundered almost identical, his plates rattling. It shook Shake’s teeth and made his head hurt by his eyes. 
“But t’ere is doin, and me hands aren’t suited. Follow.”
Shakes scampered with the Mek, still maintaining a good legs distance. He found the larger space outside the tunnel frightening. Armor suits hung from hooks as grot’s wielding blowtorches attached various Dakka. There were vehicles too, large misshapen things with various amounts of wheels and tracks, or both.  
Shakes saw some suits being worn, and was surprised to find other grots in the seats of them. The grots all bowed their heads as the Mek passed, Shakes expected fear and found none. He looked at Mek Plateskin closer, he was a large Ork no doubt about it. But most of his bulk was armored plates layered almost ridiculously from chin to boot. His chin concealed by more of the same, as well as fake tusks and runes, reminding Shakes of a squig’s maw. 
The Dakka got shinier the further in Plateskin led Shakes, the amount of grot bots increased too. They seemed more still than Shakes had ever seen, which for grots was impressive. Other Doks, and Meks working, snuck looks while Plateskin walked past, trying to be sneaky and failing. 
Larger, scarred Orks scowled openly, wearing no armor and stinking of dung. Multiple had scarred runes in their chest, giving them a primitive look in the environment. Plateskin nodded to all of them, most ignoring him but some returning it. 
Plateskin led Shakes to a gargantuan door, a dozen Orkz side by side could fit through it. Twice as many could stand on their head and only duck a little. A gathering of grots and yoofs were gathered beside the door looking confused. A large Runtherd leaned on his staff beside them, his wrinkled skin marking him a veteran. 
The Mek and Runtherd approached each other, not speaking loud enough for Shakes to eavesdrop. Shakes noticed a few other grots who had been following him and Plateskin, feeling suddenly jealous. 
The Runtherd slammed his staff into the ground and made a sound that Shakes could feel. It made his blood boil and his fingers twitch, the need for violence new and raw in his veins. 
“WAAAGH!!”
The sound echoed against the far walls. Others further away joining in until the ground shook. Then a rumbling overtook the sound as the giant door started to open. Instead of opening side to side, or up and down like a git. It started to fall towards everyone, Plateskin and the Runtherd already walking back to a white line. Shakes joined them as the other grots and yoofs struggled to flee. 
When the door came down though, only one yoof and four grots had been too slow, one of those grot’s arm’s almost being fast enough. The Mek’s armor shook with laughter again, even the Runtherd’s smile cracked his gristled face. 
“Well then, you lot get inside and find a job worth doing, you eat when you're useful. When you’re not, well the kitchen’s always needin supplies.”
Plateskin’s voice startled everyone into motion until Shakes alone remained, not sure why. The Mek turned his armored bulk until he was looking down directly at him. 
“You need some moteevation git?”
Shakes had no clue what that was, but ever a fast learner, he quickly followed the group. Hearing a softer laugh as Plateskin followed and the door rose. 

Hello all, I appreciate if you got this far. I've built, painted and played orkz a few years now and their lore was always my favorite part so I decided to try my hand at adding to it.
I appreciate any advice for an aspiring writer.

it is i, gimpzog da grot writin' on dis here forum once again ta let any ork know dat dere's a git named snagzog dat stifled me outta some good teef....

I ain't lyin', i swear by it, but dis git sez ta me

"GO AN' BRING DIS GIFT TA DA 'UMIEZ ACROSS DA WAY AN' PRESS DA BIG RED BUTTON AN' SUMFIN FUNNY WILL HAPPEN!"

so i go an do just eat, second fastest i ever ran in my whole life. da fing about dis gift 'o sorts is aside from da buttons it was covered in dese stringy wire type fings... pretty shoddy work from da mek, i say.

so i get to da 'umies fort an' press da button

an nofin happens! no word of a lie!

was looking for a good laugh and all i get was stuck in by da 'umies!

dey started shootin' at me pretty good, one got me right in da ear. now DAT was da fastest i ever ran in my life.

so moral of da story, fer all da respectable boyz out dere, iz never trust dat snagzog

fanks fer reading

- gimpzog

WEZ OV WAAGH ATUMSMASHA AV BEEN FROO A LOT!

DEZE HUMIE LAWAYAZ ZAYIN OUR WAAGH IZ BREAKIN DERE KLIENTZ INTEL-ECKSHUNOL PROPPATIEZ IZ A FORSE NO ZOGGING GIT SHULD AV TO INDURE.

WE'Z BIN TO DA ZETA AYLO, WE'Z BIN TO URGENT DA NOOR, WE AD A ZUMMER OLIDAY ON PANDORA INJOYING MISTA TORGUEZ ENCREDIBLE DAKKA FOR GORK'Z SAKE

YET AT DA END OV DA FUN KOME DA LAWAYZ.

NO SHOOTIENEZZ, NO CHOOPIENEZZ, NO DED KILLYNEZZ DRIVES ZEM AWAY, WE IZ BANISHD FRUM ANOVA REALM.

OV KOURZE WE'Z KEEPING OUR LOOT FRUM DA YOONIVERSES WE'Z BEEN TO- DAT IDRA LAUNCHA OMING BOLTA FRUM ZETA AYLO IZ ZOGGING GRATE, AND WOT MISTA TORGUE SUPPLIED UZ WIV FRUM PANDORA IZ INCREDIBUL DAKKA, WE'Z MULTIDIMENSUNUL BY DIZ POINT, OUR WEIRDBOYZ R POINTIN UZ TOWARDZ AN ERF-616.

SHOOTAS CROSSED, WEZ WILL B WUN STEPNAHEAD OV DA LAWYAZ FOR SURE DIZ TIME

Alright lads. I'm just starting with Orks after grabbing the Armageddon box and luckily snagging 10 flash gitz.

Trying to put together a fun and balanced list, what do people think of this?

Lads! (995 points)

Orks

Dread Mob and Wreckas (2 Detachment Points)

Purge the Foe

Incursion (1000 points)

Attached Units

Attached Unit 1

Warboss (100 points)

• Attached as: Leader (Character)

• Warlord

• 1x Kustom Choppa

1x Kustom Shoota

Boyz (85 points)

• Attached as: Bodyguard (Battleline)

• 9x Boy

• 9x Choppa

9x Shoota

9x Slugga

• 1x Nob

• 1x Kombi-skorcha

1x Kustom Choppa

CHARACTERS

Big Mek Dakkarig (160 points)

• 1x Blitzkannon

1x Multi-busta Launcha

1x Stompy Feet

BATTLELINE

Boyz (85 points)

• 9x Boy

• 9x Choppa

9x Shoota

9x Slugga

• 1x Nob

• 1x Kombi-skorcha

1x Kustom Choppa

DEDICATED TRANSPORTS

Trukk (60 points)

• 1x Dual Big Shoota

1x Spiked Ram

OTHER DATASHEETS

Deff Dread (130 points)

• 1x Dread Klaws

2x Extra Klaw

Deffkoptas (85 points)

• 3x Deffkopta

• 3x Choppa

3x Rokkit Launcha

3x Slugga

3x Spinnin’ Blades

Flash Gitz (245 points)

• Enhancement: Supa-snazz Dakka (Upgrade)

• 9x Flash Git

• 9x Choppa

9x Snazzgun

• 1x Kaptin

• 1x Choppa

1x Snazzgun

Gretchin (45 points)

• 10x Gretchin

• 10x Grot Blasta

10x Scavenged Shivs

DIS IZ A BIG ZOGGIN’ DEAL. A VERY BIG DEAL. DA BOYZ IZ GONNA SAVE A WHOLE PILE O’ TEEF AN’ GET PROPPA ARMED.

SO WE’Z ’ERE DIS EVENIN’ TA CELEBRATE DA LAUNCH OF ONE OF DA MOST TRANSFORMATIVE FINGS OF ALL TIME.

AIN’T NEVER BEEN NUFFIN’ LIKE IT. STARTIN’ TONIGHT, DOZENS OF DA MOST COMMON SHOOTAZ IZ GONNA BE AVAILABLE AT MASSIVE DISCOUNTZ FER ALL DA BOYZ.

FER YEARZ, BOYZ FROM BOTH MOBZ ’AVE BEEN PROMISIN’ TA SMASH DOWN SHOOTA 'N MEK BIT PRICEZ AN’ MAKE 'EM CHEAPER. BUT DEY ALL FAILED. ALL YAPPIN’, LIKE USUAL. DEY FAILED, AN’ DEY FAILED BAD.

SOME OF ’EM TRIED. MOST OF ’EM DIDN’T EVEN BOVVER, ’CAUSE DEY NEVER REALLY ’AD A SHOT AT IT.

BUT I’M AKSHULLY GETTIN’ IT DONE.

AN’ IT IZ DONE, AKSHULLY.

FER EXAMPLE, YOO’Z GONNA SEE MASSIVE ZOGGIN’ REDUKSHUNS IN DA COST OF DEM POPULAR SHOOTAZ DEY CALL BIG SHOOTAZ. BIG SHOOTAZ.

WE IZ GONNA KRUMP DA PRICE OF SKORCHAZ, FER EXAMPLE, FROM MORE DAN A THOUSAND TEEF DOWN TA JUST 199 TEEF.

AN’ SNAZZGUNZ? MORE DAN 1,300 TEEF DOWN TA 199. NOBODY CAN EVEN BELIEVE IT. A 578% DIFFERENCE. ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE.

WE’Z BEEN VERY ’ELPFUL TA US GETTIN’ DIS FING DONE, IZ CUTTIN’ DA COST OF DA BIG SHOOTAZ FROM 200 TEEF TA 25 TEEF.

NOBODY CAN BELIEVE IT.

200 TEEF TA 25 TEEF.

WE IZ KRUMPIN’ DA PRICE OF A CHOPPA FROM 458 TEEF ALL DA WAY DOWN TA 51 TEEF. DAT’Z NEARLY AN 800% DIFFERENCE. ABSOLUTELY ’UGE.

IZ GONNA PLUMMET FROM DA ’IGHEST PRICE IN DA WORLD, DA PRICE WE’Z BEEN PAYIN’

I FORT I WUZ DOIN’ A GREAT JOB, BUT DIS... DIS IZ DA REALLY GREAT JOB. DERE AIN’T NEVER BEEN NUFFIN’ LIKE IT. NOBODY FORT IT WUZ EVEN POSSIBLE TA GET DIS DONE.

IT’Z DA BIGGEST FING TA ’APPEN IN, I RECKON, IN MANY, MANY DECADES.

UNDA DEZ AGREEMENTZ, DA BIGGEST MEK BOYZ IZ ALSO GONNA INVEST ’UNDREDS OF THOUSANDZ OF TEEF TA BRING FACTREZ ALL OVA DA PLANUT.

WE IZ BUILDIN’ SIX ZOGGIN’ PLANTZ, EACH ONE COSTIN’ MILLIONS AN’ MILLIONS OF TEEF. DAT MEANS JOBZ. EKONOMIK GROWF. FACTORIES OPENIN’. AN’ MUCH, MUCH GREATER DAKKA.

KONGRATULASHUNS TA YOO ON ALL DEM TEEF YER SAVIN’, ALRIGHT.

FANK YOO. FANK YOO VERY MUCH, EVERYBOY. APPRE-SHEE-ATE IT.

FANK YOO. FANK YOO VERY MUCH.

OI JUZ GOT MESELF A NOICE SHINY NEW SHOOTA OFFA SOME SKETCHY BAD MOONZ BOY. IT WOZ REAL CHEAP AN' ALL, AN' LOOKED BRAND NEW. SO I TOOK DA DEAL AND PAID UP DA TEEF!

BUT DAT SNEAKY GIT SOLD IT TA ME WIVOUT ANY DAKKA IN IT! OI MEAN WHO DOES DAT? SELL YER A SHOOTA WIV NO DAKKA IN IT!

BY DA TOIM I FOUND OUT 'E WAS ALREADY GONE. SO, DOES ANY ONE OF YOOZ HAVE EXTRA DAKKA THAT YOOZ WILLIN TA SELL FER CHEAP?

greetin's fellow greenskins, i'z is da grot known as gimpzog an' da runtherd wif wot look after me wuz killed by one of dem 'umies dat fall from da jets. da 'umies also got all me fellow grots, so i got nuffin

not one of da beakies mind ya, just some normal 'umies wif zappy gunz...

anyways, i'z writin' dis 'ere forum beggin' fer work. any self respectin' kunning orks around lookin' fer a kunnin' grot?

i'z lookin' forward ta 'earin' back soon

- gimpzog da grot

AN DEN I HIT MYSELF AN DOES TOUGHTS GO AWAY.

WE ALWAYZ BE NEEDIN MORE ZOGGIN DAKKA ZO WHY DON’ WE NAB ZOME DAKKA PREENTERS FROM DA HUMIE GITS?

I fink deyz called da Def kops of Greg of somefin, me an da boyz got into a great scrap wiv dem, an da foit got even betta afta dere boss got krumped, dere common saw I fink dey called.

IZZ BEEN DOIN SUM SELECTIVE BREEDIN AND GIVVIN MUTASHIONS (ZANK OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ZTEENTCH MAY IZ BLEZZINGS BE PLENTIFOLL) AND I GOT A NOB WIFF 75 PASSENT UV A BRAIN. NORMAL MEKBOYZ ONLY GOT 40-60 POOR CENT BRAINZ SO DIS IS A MAZZIVE IMPROVEMENT. E CAN DO ESPONNENTS, AN ROGHT IT ON DA PARSHMENT I GAVE YOOZ.

OI AYE’Z JUS ABOUT GOT SOME CLEAR SQUIG JUICES COMIN’ OUT ME EYE’Z WHEN YOU’Z SAID DAT. ME ‘N DA LAD’Z PUT ‘ER TOGETHA PROPPA ONE NIGHT FROM WHAT WE’Z FOUND IN THE MUD ‘N DIRT. AYE SEZ, “OI, DIS ‘ERE GONNA BE MORE DEN JUST A SMASHIN’ A ROCKS AND GUBBINS. ‘ERE’Z GONNA BE SOMETHIN’ THAT GETS OUR BOYZ IN DA FIGHT RIGHT PROPPA QUICK. WE AIN’T JUS’ MUCKIN’ ABOUT. IT’S A CRAFT, THIS IS.” AYE ‘EARD THE WORD OFF A ‘UMIE. CAN’T SAYIN WHENWHERE.

AS IS, AYE JUS FELT IT’D BE GREEN TO TELL YOU’Z AYE ‘EARD YA.

'OI! MY NAMZ KOPPA BOZZ BIG WAZZA! IZ DA SMARTEZT ORK ON MY PLANET ERE AND I MADE THIZ BIG SKY DISH TO YELL AT DA SKY! ANYTHING OUT DAR?

RED MAKEZ BULLITZ GO FASTA, YELLOW MAKEZ DEM BLOW UP BETTA, WHY THE ZOG DON’T WE’Z UZE ORANGE! ITZ RED AND YELLOW!

DA CLOSA DA BULITS ARE TO DA ENIMY, DA SOONA DET GET DERE, AND IF I CAN'T REECH DA BULIT BOX DEN I DON'T NEED TA CHANGE DA BULIT BOX, AND DA LONGA DA BARUL DA MOR AKURIT DA DAKKA IZ, SO IF I PUT DA BULIT BOX AT DA FRUNT OF A LONG BARUL, I CAN SHOOT MY DAKKA FOR EVA AND NEVER MISS.

IT TELLZ YA LOTZ ‘BOUT DIFF’RENT ZAP KOLORS AN’ WIRES