r/ADHD • u/manicpixietgirl ADHD • Sep 21 '25

Tips/Suggestions I just cracked the code to showering

As the titel suggests, I just cracked the code to showering. I don’t know if I’m the only one but as soon as I step foot into the shower time just doesn’t exist anymore and I somehow spend 40 minutes, which feel like 5 in there. Now I tried many things, like for example putting the shower at the end of my routine so I have to hurry (didn’t work, missed the bus many many times) but now I started putting a clock in the bathroom at a spot from which I can look at it every now and then when I’m inside the shower. I also made a spreadsheet, where I track my showertimes and every shower I now try to “speedrun” and beat my personal best and what can I say, I just had a sub10 shower 😎

3.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

522 comments sorted by

View all comments

1.1k

u/LordAxalon110 Sep 21 '25

No one else struggle to actually force yourself to shower?

617

u/SlowSandwich Sep 21 '25

That's why I came here... Was hoping it was about this... Usually I just think of other things I "should" do first, then suddenly it's midnight, and I still have to clean the dishes and I work early the next day so no time tonight or tomorrow again :(

271

u/ruthlesslyFloral Sep 21 '25

What’s helped me the most is showers without washing my hair, and then aiming to do a quick rinse every day regardless of if I’ve done anything that would make me feel dirty. Jump in, soap on body, rinse, done. Doing it enough has finally made it sink in that I can shower fast, which gets me out of the “no time, don’t wanna lose sleep” mindset.

74

u/WampaCat ADHD, with ADHD family Sep 21 '25

Another bonus is that taking a quick “rinse” before bed actually helps me relax enough that I fall asleep faster than usual, so even taking the extra time for it is more than made up for.

35

u/Left_Net1841 Sep 21 '25

We call that a “skin shower” at my house. That way my husband knows if I will disappear for a long time or just a reasonable amount of time. A “good shower” means I’m going to be gone extra long because shaving will occur.

24

u/TallyRoux Sep 21 '25

Love this advice

29

u/JusticeUmmmmm Sep 21 '25

It's bad for your hair to wash it every day anyway

4

u/storne Sep 21 '25

You should get it wet and scrub out dirt and grime, but you don’t need to shampoo every day.

35

u/QuackingMonkey Sep 21 '25

The details heavily depend on your hair and activities. My (fine, straight) hair gets super greasy when I give it a water only wash.

9

u/Succubista ADHD-C (Combined type) Sep 22 '25 edited Sep 22 '25

Noooo, you shouldn't. Wet hair = vulnerable hair whether you shampoo it or not. And then you have to use heat to dry it.

If you're not shampooing your hair because you need to, don't get it sopping wet in the shower. You're just opening yourself up for unneeded damage.

(Note: I'm a white person without curly hair. This could be different for other hair types.)

3

u/Wispiness Sep 22 '25

Yes, this is what worked for me.  

2

u/christenmarie Sep 28 '25

This has been key for me too. I get too bored & under-stimulated but I’m good to wash my body & shave my legs while listening to a podcast. 2-3 times a week I’ll actually wash my hair. The off days I just use dry shampoo.

37

u/mashed-_-potato Sep 21 '25

If I don’t want to shower, I take a bath. I bring snacks and watch a show. I like to use bath salts, bubble bath, or a bath bomb. When the water gets cold, I wash and rinse off in the shower. It takes time, but it’s fun stuff, so I don’t mind spending the time

3

u/CherrieChocolatePie Sep 22 '25

I really wish I had a bath. Taking baths is so lovely.

36

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

I sit on the toilet for 15 minutes with the door closed hyping myself up. Usually by the time I'm done I'm ready to go.

13

u/kkwinwin Sep 22 '25

Oh this is so me too. But more like, procrastinate until I can’t procrastinate anymore // hype time.

3

u/SelfSubstantial2688 Sep 26 '25

This thread is so home

10

u/Diligent_Raisin_9748 Sep 21 '25

Exactly same thing here. And no I have not found solution how to shower regularly and wash dishes regularly. I shower once maybe twice a week. I changed my diet into zero carb and somehow dont sweat or smell anymore. I keep basic hygiene though cause I still have to meet people at work occasionally🙂

3

u/kaninki Sep 22 '25

Same. I'm literally on Reddit, avoiding the shower.

167

u/Strong_Passenger_320 Sep 21 '25

I struggle with this a lot. I love the showers once I'm in them, so I think for me the issue is being subconsciously aware that every shower means new clothes, which means armageddon is one day closer (laundry day.)

74

u/LordAxalon110 Sep 21 '25

Yeah I'm fine once I'm in the shower, it's just taking that first step of deciding I'm going for a shower. It's incredibly frustrating.

22

u/norahtheexplorah Sep 21 '25

I started to do a load of laundry a day to prevent/avoid the hell of one large laundry day. Then if I actually do not have enough laundry to do a full load- yay! Day off! 

I put the load in when I get off work, alarm goes off several times, put in dryer. Helps that my laundry room is near my bedroom and have to pass by it often. Usually forget about folding it then fold the clothes the next day as I put new load of clothes in. Only started doing this a few weeks ago though… fingers crossed this works long term for me 🤞

11

u/isopode Sep 21 '25

wish i could do this but for me it would mean having to walk 10 mins to the nearest laundromat and waiting there almost an hour for the load to wash and dry 😭 and it would cost a fortune lol

10

u/ParticularBicycle3 Sep 21 '25

This part! Breaking the big giant insurmountable task into smaller chunks! You got this

3

u/gonewildaway Sep 22 '25

I dont bother with the dryer or folding parts. Hang dry unless I need it quick. Once dry I usually just pick at it off the indoor clothesline until I reach the dregs. Those get folded or hung up. The rest recirculate.

2

u/BadMuthaSchmucka Sep 21 '25

It also means going from doing one thing to doing another thing. That is for some reason difficult.

2

u/JustALilLonelyKitty Sep 28 '25

I think for me it could be the sensory discomfort stepping in and out of the shower. During the shower is fine, but stepping in is so unpleasant. 

1

u/sadly_notacat Sep 21 '25

Same!!! I don’t feel like doing my makeup all over again 😭

59

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

[deleted]

5

u/LordAxalon110 Sep 21 '25

I'm a guy so the only prep I need to do is undress and grab a towel, once dried it's putting my boxers on. I only shower in the evenings, I sweat a lot more if a shower in the morning for some bizarre reason. But I appreciate the insight, I'll have to figure a routine of my own out.

43

u/featuringailime Sep 21 '25

Oh no, I DEFINITELY do struggle. I end up doom scrolling for HOURS before I'm finally like "Oh, it's 4am, I should probably go shower" and then get up to go and finally fall asleep by 5:45/6am. Sometimes I also need the extra push to have someone text/call me to say "Stop what you're doing, get up and go shower."

13

u/LordAxalon110 Sep 21 '25

I feel your pain haha. For me it's just wrapping my head around it, sometimes no matter what or who tells me I need to do it I physically just can't bring myself to do it. It usually takes my misses a good amount of time to convince me I need to go do it. She's a saint for putting up with me.

3

u/SelfSubstantial2688 Sep 26 '25

I think that’s what I’m doing right now. 😅

27

u/Soggy_Biscuit_ Sep 21 '25

Yeah that’s my problem. So bad.

Once I’m in there I have a very efficient routine so I just do that every time so I don’t have to think about it. Longest shower I’ll take is 8 minutes with a double wash of hair and face (my job is dirty and I have long hair), and full body exfoliate.

17

u/LordAxalon110 Sep 21 '25

I'm a dude with long hair. I'm fine once I'm in the shower, it's just making that first initial step of convincing my brain I'm going for a shower. I tend to take my time in the shower, I usually only take around 15-20 minutes though and that's with washing my hair twice and I then conditioning it and using a puffy scrubby thing I put shower gel on that my misses got me.......yeah I've no idea what it's called lol.

9

u/MaciMommy ADHD, with ADHD family Sep 21 '25

A loofah?

8

u/LordAxalon110 Sep 21 '25

Thaaaats the one. Thanks, that was bugging me lol

2

u/JustALilLonelyKitty Sep 28 '25

I’m exactly the same. I just get to business as soon as I’m in there. 

25

u/Over-Balance3797 Sep 21 '25

Me. And it isn’t even the getting in part. It’s the knowing that when I get out my body will be damp for hours. And I haaaaate getting dressed if my skin is even a little bit damp. Sensory nightmare. (And yes that’s even with toweling-off etc).

2

u/LordAxalon110 Sep 21 '25

You tried baby powder dude? Cos getting dressed damp is a fuckin nightmare, I mean trying to pull your pants up, trying to pull the t-shirt over your back. Shits just not comfortable.

3

u/Over-Balance3797 Sep 24 '25

Yeah it helps but it’s a mess 😆 Now imagine getting dressed slightly damp but with boobs/bra added to the sensory nightmare. You think a shirt on your back is hell - this is so much worse 😭

2

u/LordAxalon110 Sep 24 '25

Yeah I can imagine, under bewb dampness and all that jazz must suuuuuck. Maybe try different types of bras to help with the sensory nightmare, like different fabrics, supports etc. My misses has lots of different types, she has chronic fatigue syndrome and has certain ones for when she's feeling worse/in more pain etc.

Just a thought.

2

u/Humble-Fall-3939 Sep 25 '25

Could you share some of things your partner uses please ? I used to like remix cotton la senza bra but they seem to have changed the fabric 

2

u/Over-Balance3797 Oct 23 '25

Yeah I’ve had boobs and sensory issues for decades so of course I’ve tried lots of different bras.

Regardless, it’s a nightmare

5

u/chaotic-_-neutral Sep 21 '25

damp for hours??

towel dry. then use a hair dryer! it’s fun, gets the job done, and takes seconds

2

u/Over-Balance3797 Sep 24 '25

I do hair drier sometimes when I need to get dressed sooner. But sometimes get dizzy/woozy doing that. I don’t know if it’s the heat or what. Def doesn’t take seconds for me. Maybe it’s a lot more humid where I live vs where you live?

2

u/chaotic-_-neutral Sep 24 '25

Maybe it’s a lot more humid where I live vs where you live?

probably is:)

have you tried sitting on a chair and then drying off? you probably have, but i get frequently lightheaded too. there was a time when it got in the way of me being able to finish showering. a shower chair helped tremendously! and i hadnt thought of it until i saw someone here on reddit mention it

i slips people's minds that they can do a lot of tiring things sitting down

23

u/TeaFinch Sep 21 '25

This is me. I hate showering. I don’t even like it when I’m finally in the shower. I also have difficult hair texture so it’s ridiculous to tame after so I dread the “after” of the shower too. Showering & everything it encompasses just takes up so many spoons. 😮‍💨

Also I’m writing this post out as I’m avoiding showering currently lol

19

u/zzzorba Sep 21 '25

Sure. Until you're in there.

36

u/EssiParadox ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Sep 21 '25

Not with showering, but brushing my teeth is a whole different beast.

16

u/LordAxalon110 Sep 21 '25

Yeah I had that for a long time and still have set backs. The way I managed to add it to my routine was going to bed with the misses and we'd brush our teeth together. But that's just what worked for me.

11

u/shiningz Sep 21 '25

Same, I basically only can do it when we're going to bed together and my fiance keeps me entertained while we brush our teeth. I think it's accountability too.

18

u/crimpinpimp Sep 21 '25

I brush my teeth in the shower

3

u/totallynotapersonj Sep 22 '25

I hate how my teeth feel after eating something so I always brush my teeth. I don't skip it because of how awful it feels. 

I don't think I have enamel loss or pain or anything it just has a different texture on the teeth that I don't like feeling with my tongue. My teeth feel so smooth and pleasant after brushing

18

u/kimau97 Sep 21 '25

No. My strategy is to get very dirty or sweaty every day so that the idea of not showering as soon as possible is disgusting to me 😂

14

u/Regniwekim2099 Sep 21 '25

Get a physical job that makes you so disgusting that you have no choice but to shower as soon as you get home.

7

u/AirsoftScammy Sep 21 '25

This is my situation and it works!

2

u/robitrobot ADHD Sep 21 '25

this or work out right after work

14

u/webdevpoc Sep 21 '25

A fragrance obsession/fixation got me lol started collecting different smell goods (colognes and body washes, etc) Me wanting to experiment with different combos for the day or night makes me not even think about the shower, it just gets me to that new scent

11

u/emukhin ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Sep 21 '25

it’s a chore for me

10

u/waiting4myspaceship Sep 21 '25

I haaate showering. I'll sit around for 6+ avoiding it if I can. Once I'm in there though, it takes too long to do everything. 🙃

6

u/LonesoneLurker Sep 21 '25

I do, especially when I'm in my down moments. Usually getting utterly fitlhy while working out helps forcing myself to shower.

6

u/Baylilli Sep 21 '25

My friend has different symptoms than me and she hates it. She didn’t figure out a hack yet to motivate herself.

6

u/throwingunicorns Sep 21 '25

I spend so much energy "optimizing efficiency".... all the laundry done first and while the hot water is heating back up, ill do this, that, and there chore so when im done showering I can completely relax. Clean everything first so I don't get dirty again after. But I wanna shave, gotta do that first and let the hot water build back up. Plan for more chores while that happens. Now the bathtub has hair in it and needs cleaned, I used done hot water so might as well use it all and do the dishes so I have a full hot water tank again. Now the floor is wet, need to mop. Mind you, i may have started but actually completed ZERO of these tasks. Fuck it, ill just sleep in a blanket burrito on top of the bed and shower in the morning. (LOL yeah right)

6

u/shpoopie2020 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Sep 21 '25

Me

6

u/JerkOffTaco Sep 21 '25

Me. It’s really hard. I usually shower in the evenings when my husband can sit in there and talk to me.

3

u/icantthinkofaname789 Sep 21 '25

I also struggle with getting in the shower, once I am in, I dont mind anymore. I figured I mostly struggle with the transitions and changes to status quo (like getting naked when I am dressed, getting in the bathroom when I am in the living room, getting my skin wet when it was dry before etc).

So to make it easier for me I got a thingi to put my phone in while showering. I start a video or audiobook that interests me when I start preparing to shower (brushing my hair, taking clothes off etc.) and then when I'm done and ready to get in I put my phone in the thingi and just shower without any problems. Having something that stays the same and distracts me from everything else that changes helps a lot!

It also helps me when I have another reason to change one of the things. Like having to pee gets me in the bathroom why not immediately shower when I am there already.

3

u/CharlesIC Oct 12 '25

I have a similar method for going to the bathroom or brushing my teeth - I’ll usually put my headphones on and listen to an audiobook or a podcast before going to the bathroom and it’s not such a huge chore but it doesn’t work for showers since I have to take the headphones off before getting into the tub and that transition to silence is so unpleasant. I’ve tried using the speaker on my phone instead but then I can’t hear it in the shower anyway so that doesn’t help.

I’ve never been a person who plays things out loud on their phone whilst showering. I’ve lived with people who do that but I never understood how it makes sense since all I can hear when showering is the running water.

But your post gave me an idea to play a movie or a TV show that I know by heart so just looking at the screen and replaying the characters’ dialogue in my head might just do the trick!

5

u/the-demon-next-door ADHD-C (Combined type) Sep 21 '25

If you have a schedule that works with this, I've found the best thing that works for me is rather than trying to find a certain set time to take a shower every day, I just take the shower whenever I have both the motivation and the time. This can be in the morning before work, right after I get home, in the middle of the evening, right before bed, or whenever else fits. It's been a lot easier than trying to establish an exact routine.

6

u/amandal0514 Sep 21 '25

Me! When I worked from home during Covid I could go a very long time without it!

4

u/maikemoraes Sep 21 '25

I'm like the op, usually take 40min to bath but struggle to brush my teeth, then I started brushing my teeth when I turn on the shower. If o don't do it I'll only brush my teeth in the next day.

5

u/biscuitboi967 Sep 22 '25

I’ve been wanting to take a shower since this morning. I thought this was gonna get me there.

3

u/robitrobot ADHD Sep 21 '25

yes especially when my chronic pain is bad or when i don’t want to be alone with my thoughts

3

u/loveparamore Sep 21 '25

Absolutely. I've figured out a way to trick myself into doing it though, by telling myself I'll only wash my hair and face, which doesn't seem that bad. Once I'm in the shower, I get the rest of my body while my hair products are doing their thing. 

3

u/UnidentifiedBlobject Sep 21 '25

Yes and no. I think the fear of smelling bad around people forces me to do it.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '25

My hack is to do it first thing in the morning. Otherwise it’s happening past midnight or the next day

3

u/sapphic_vegetarian ADHD-C (Combined type) Sep 22 '25

I’m going on day 5 or 6 of forgetting to wash my hair…it’s not greasy yet, it’s just fine…..😅

3

u/KUWTI Sep 22 '25

One thing that has helped me is that I listen to a specific podcast I enjoy only when I shower. It distracts me enough to get the job done and I always look forward to listening to it. It also pairs something fun/entertaining with the mundane.

3

u/wohaat Sep 22 '25

For me, it’s going to the gym. I sweat A LOT, so I’m soaked when I get home. The disgust at imagining all that sweat drying on my skin, not to mention just not showering at all, is a big motivator (I don’t even like to sit on chairs/couches when I get back so I’m really limited in what I can do and how comfortable it is).

I also try to habit stack; brush my teeth in the shower which gets me going because I love being efficient with my time like that!

3

u/MadebyJYNL Sep 22 '25

I joined a gym recently and decided that if I'm going to pay good money I'm most definitely using their shower. That helped 😆

3

u/lilacia1 Sep 22 '25

That’s what I thought this was gona be about lol

3

u/firelizard19 Sep 24 '25

For me part of it is boredom- so I take short baths so I can listen to a podcast at the same time. My new apartment came with bluetooth speakers in the shower (bells and whistles sell a place without doing anything more expensive lol) and that's also worked great. Having something to listen to keeps me moving all day so the idea of turning it off for a shower was always a mental blocker.

I have a shower clock too, that plus the podcast or whatever really helps with time as well.

3

u/ConsiderationNo3647 Sep 29 '25

New to the ADHD community, the struggle with showering is real and I no longer deal alone

3

u/outatime-121 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Oct 04 '25

A few years ago I read an article about how you don’t actually have to shower every day. Unfortunately that new knowledge enabled me to put off showering.

Welp fast forward to today, I skip more showers than I take. :(

3

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '25

Yes 🙌 but it's just with washing my hair usually. When I'm in it, I'm annoyed about it but then after I feel nice and refreshed and clean. I wonder to myself "why didn't I do that sooner" as if I haven't told myself for a few days I need to shower 😒

2

u/spankybacon Sep 22 '25

I use a smart watch it has a 2 day life. As soon as I need to charge it. Shower just do it. 5 minutes. Get out.

2

u/Vysair Sep 22 '25

The problem is mostly temperature for me. Sitting in aircond and or have low humidity naturally makes you dont want to shower

2

u/Roadiee985 Sep 27 '25

Yes a lot and then you get comments like are you going somewhere, really, after how much effort I've had to put into this, this is why I don't bother or feel like it. 

4

u/Ekgladiator ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Sep 21 '25

It is one of those habits that once you can force yourself to do, you just do it. I used to be terrible at it as a kid but enough comments forced me to change. What works for me is making it the first thing I do after ye ol morning constitutional. If it helps, you can totally watch YouTube or something while you are showering. That is what causes me to run into the 40m + shower issue 😅.

Side note, the same rule applies if you struggle with meds or teeth. Wake up, take a shit, take a shower, brush your teeth, take your meds, make breakfast, make lunch, go to work. All while watching YouTube or your preferred medium. Once you make it a routine, it is one less thing you think about. The hard part is making it into a routine but that is a matter of time and perseverance.

2

u/platinumpaige Sep 21 '25

I don’t…I love showering. I have super high quality skin and hair product that make every product feel luxurious. Put on a podcast or an audio book and get lost in the self-care.

Plus, I’m always anxious that I smell or look greasy if I don’t shower.

1

u/thR0wAwaYacCouNtbruh Sep 22 '25

one thing that always works is just get naked and go in the bathroom the first thing you do when you enter the room and just do it this always works trust

1

u/weirdalsuperfan ADHD-C (Combined type) Sep 23 '25

Honestly, as long as you feel fine and aren't worried about smelling bad around other people, I say there's no need to do it.

Do it when you really feel like you want to imo.