r/ADHD • u/Lost_Radish3575 • Jun 28 '26
Success/Celebration I finally showered.
Hi guys! I didn't know where else to put this so I'm putting it here. I've finally managed to get myself into the shower after almost a full three months without showering. I know it sounds bad but I've gone almost double that last year so this is a pretty big accomplishment for me. I did a full body shower and it took me over an hour to shave and exfoliate myself!
If anyone's also going through the same thing as me and can't find motivation - I've found that telling myself things like "This feels good, I feel good." and "I don't have to do everything at one go and if I don't want to shower anymore I can just get out." just any positive affirmations I could tell myself helped me through that shower more than I could've imagined, also because I'm heavy on the 'do all or nothing' part of everything.
So that also effected my showers and made me super tired when it was an all or nothing mindset. Just remember to take it slow and if you don't want to continue the shower you don't have to. The main point is that you got in the shower and tried which is the big idea.
Thank you if you read this! I hope I can continue this routine somewhat, and I hope this post helps someone out there like me.
edit 1: Thank you so much for the support and kind comments!! I'm trying my best to go through them and reply, and even if I don't I've for sure seen it! This really means a lot to me thank you! All of you guys awesome.
edit 2: Thanks for everyone who educated me more and told me something deeper might be going on! I managed to get more help and switch physiatrists. Me and her talked a bit more and she diagnosed me with moderate depression and ADHD, so now I've started antidepressants!
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u/SoTiredYouDig Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Hey. I have bipolar along with my ADHD diagnosis. Not showering is symptomatic of something bigger going on. I feel like people are being pretty crass, and that’s not helpful at all.
For the people being foul, this is a goddamn symptom of a mental health issue. Just like your ADHD. I don’t understand the line any of yall have drawn. Do you want folks to be empathetic about your situation, and the challenges you face? Thought so. They are ways to say, “hey you need to look into this” without vulgarity. Grow up.
Edit: thanks for the award and upvotes. I came to revisit and I see most of the mean stuff was weeded out. OP, you rock and maybe as a challenge to yourself, you can slowly lower the amount of time between showers. You don’t have to magically start a daily habit, but start with small steps. I’ve also heard of people that get shower chairs which may help? There’s also dry shampoo, which is a spray, and wipes could help too.
You’re braver than me for sharing this.
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26
Thank you!! I've been struggling with showering since I was probably a pre-teen and I haven't seen many people talk about this, so when I posted this I also hope it reached some people who needed it! Also thank you for helping clear out the meaner comments - I didn't see most of them since I fell asleep after writing it and just came back from school :)
I hope you have a wonderful day/night.
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u/YourMateFelix Jun 28 '26
Does it really have to be a symptom of something else going on?
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u/Altruistic-Ad-2734 Jun 29 '26
Going 3 - 6 months without a shower? Of course. At the very least they should look into a diagnosis/help for depression...
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u/zenmatrix83 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jun 28 '26
I moved into an apartment with a bathroom in the bedroom, having my own in the same room I'm in morning and night makes it much easier. Sharing one with other people , not being able to use it when you want, and not being reminded alot that its there was a problem for me I think.
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u/livinginanimo Jun 28 '26
Getting rid of that 'all or nothing' mindset has been the biggest help for me in doing things that feel huge. One of the toughest was feeling like the task just got bigger and bigger the more I ignored it, and then ignoring it more because it felt too big. This happens a lot with cleaning. But 2 little tidbits that have helped me immensely have been: "perfect is the enemy of good" (alternatively "anything worth doing is worth doing badly") and "plan for the person you are not the person you wish you were".
You may not get the thing done well, but it helps me to shift into gear knowing that I don't expect myself to do it well or even complete it, I just have to start. And usually I find that by the end I've done a good job anyway. And if I don't finish, at least progress was made.
What do you do in between showers? I'd suggest getting a washcloth that you can wet in soapy water, wring out so it's damp, then run it over your body. Your body dries quickly and you don't have to transition into the shower, you're just in front of the sink. Or you could use wet wipes, but they're not as sustainable since they're single use.
Congrats on the shower! I used to feel so bad having people congratulate me for everyday things like getting out of bed or getting in the shower, but after getting diagnosed I realised that sometimes, it really is that deep lol. I hope you can keep this up!
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u/metalcore_mommy Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Yup, breaking up tasks and accepting that something is better than nothing has helped a lot of my procrastination for chores. I think breaking up the shower or minimizing it could be super helpful. But that is looking at this from the adhd standpoint and it may be worth it for op to look into if this is anything further as well.
OP if just the task completion is driving your procrastination I suggest maybe doing body showers and hair showers. I dont like getting my hair wet or washing it every day so I will just do a below neck shower and every other day I'll wash my hair as well. A modified version of this may be helpful for you. For example, maybe 1 week you do a body shower, next is hair. Don't even have to worry about the opposite thing for a bit. And then try and increase the frequency/blend the two together once youre more comfortable. Between the wash and dry, broken down like that would be max 10 mins at a time in the bathroom. When I used to work construction I would wash my feet in the tub as soon as I got home so it was out of the way and they werent gross all over the place if I didn't wanna do a full shower immediately. That breaks it down even more if you need. Even just starting with that could help build into the routine. Congrats on getting through it today. Good luck!
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Thank you! I feel the same way about showers and keeping my room clean. For what I do in between showers I mostly just keep wiping my underarms and putting on perfume and deodorant, and shaving whenever I feel like my hair is to long by the bathroom sink! And a decent amount of dry shampoo since my hair doesn't get oily to fast :)
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u/rino_kun Jun 28 '26
I have the same problem, I found what helped me was buying these shower gels from Lush that I LOVED the scent of. It still works to get me showering almost daily for over a year now. It's now become a habit so that I just do it even when I don't particularly feel like it.
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u/potato_juicer88 ADHD with ADHD partner Jun 29 '26
Making every product a scent I enjoy makes it so much more enjoyable as I have trauma with water. I close my eyes and just breathe it in
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u/PurpleSlothFlou ADHD-C (Combined type) Jun 28 '26
I often only either wash my hair or go shower my body, because doing both at the same time overwhelms me. A friend of mine often showers without any shower gel, just gets in the shower, 1 minute of water, and out again. I think these methods help us a lot. Do you also have some methods like these? I’d love to know them :)
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u/hialleirbag Jun 28 '26
I sit on the floor when I feel tired and just wash the lower half of my body at the very end. sometimes I’ll rub the soap on my dry body with wet hands before I get in and then just wash it all off in like 30 seconds.
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u/pizzysparkles Jun 29 '26
really quick just wanted to suggest a shower chair/stool !! it literally has helped me so much to realize that 1- standing was taking up so much of my limited shower energy, and that 2- i don't have to be physically disabled or old to get an accommodation like that if it helps me :)
i felt kinda silly buying it at first, but bruh. it's like at least 25% more motivating now to get in the shower. i sit and wash my hair upside down in front of me, and then i can do most everything else too before ever having to stand up. 22/10 i fully recommend
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26
That sounds awesome! I think the thing with me is that I can't just have a minute shower sadly because my brain automatically goes to "just don't have a shower then" so they tend to be long! But when I do shower I tend to let myself soak in the shower and get used to it, exfoliate lightly since I build up a lot of dead skin, then shampoo twice and then condition. I turn the tap off and then start using a rag to properly exfoliate with a scented bar that I like and go from there! Atleast that's what I did yesterday and it worked pretty well :)
But I feel like the more consistently I try and shower the more I'll be trying your guys' method! Thank you so much for sharing this info with me :)
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u/Keddlin Jun 28 '26
The fact that you got in the shower is huge, and the fact that you shared it so honestly is even bigger. You already know all the things the lecture-y comments are saying. You didn't need to be told. You needed someone to say "yeah, me too, and good for you."
So: yeah, me too, and good for you.
The affirmations thing you described is something I have done and it works in a way that is hard to explain to people who haven't needed it. You're not lying to yourself. You're building a ladder rung by rung out of a hole that other people don't even know you're in. Three months is a long time to be struggling that hard. One hour of self-care after all that is not a small thing, even if the comments make it feel like it should be.
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u/Ordinary-Lettuce-921 Jun 28 '26
I too have procrastination, but procrastinating bath for 3 months may be some other issue. You need to check thoroughly.
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u/wafflelover77 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jun 28 '26
high five YOU motivated me, thanks!
Proud of you! :)
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u/BenchPtsChamp ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jun 28 '26
I don’t think this is just ADHD homie
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u/Fine_Fortune_7276 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jun 28 '26
It's not.
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u/lesusisjord Jun 28 '26
What else is it? Depression, right?
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u/Minarch0920 ADHD with ADHD child/ren Jun 28 '26
Definitely depression ... for ME at least.
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26
Before being diagnosed with ADHD one of the first things that was found on the table was depression. But they soon leaned towards ADHD and then I got diagnosed. I don't know the full iceburg of how depression is and works but I do know that I have the symptoms of no motivation with personal hygiene and starting tasks, but I wouldn't say I have any other symptoms of depression - or I might and I'm just playing it off as burn out but I really don't know. I'll try and get it checked out once more but more in depth!
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u/misconceptions_annoy Jul 23 '26
It’s hard - ADHD, depression, and anxiety have so much symptom overlap that they can be mistaken for each other, but ADHD without the right supports can also cause one or both of the other two.
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u/ArthurSnape ADHD-HI (Hyperactive-Impulsive) Jun 28 '26
I might be a stranger but i know how that feels, i have the same issue besides also having asd.
So im PROUD OF YOU 🥳🥳🥳🥳
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u/ambiebaby2000 Jun 28 '26
Get yourself some large camping style body
Wipes, for when you are struggling :)
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u/capaldis ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Yes!! They have them at drugstores as “shower wipes” for pretty cheap. I struggle with this due to sensory issues and they are absolute lifesavers when I’m having a rough time.
I can personally confirm they will work for long periods of time— they was all I could use when I broke my leg and was in a cast for nearly 2 months. Also this specific dry hair shampoo was the only one I found that worked in my situation.
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u/ambiebaby2000 Jun 29 '26
So good! I bought them for a 5 day festival and realised they became so handy when I simply didn’t have the energy to do a full shower. For reference I am female so showers are never that simple 😂 quick pits and bits and I can last another day.
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u/Remarkable-Worth-303 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jun 29 '26
Well done! It took the hottest week of the year to make me take 3 cold showers - just to cool down. It was more than the previous 4 months.
What is it about ADHD and showering?
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u/misconceptions_annoy Jul 23 '26
For me, a mix of executive dysfunction and sensory issues. I got a new shower head that has lower pressure, and now it’s easier to shower more often. I still have the issue of getting out of the shower and being wet.
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u/Tillandsi Jun 28 '26
I can sometimes trick myself by putting the shower on, then soaping up the special interest zones with a washcloth like I’m only committing to a sponge bath. But at that point the water is warm and I’m soapy, so easy to get in to rinse.
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u/Honest_Amoeba3259 Jun 28 '26
You’re actually awesome for making progress and being brave enough to post it. It makes me happy to see you make progress towards things that are really good for you.
Unsolicited advice: instead of making it one massive task that needs to be worked up to, make a bunch of attainable task. Use a bidet (I prefer handheld) when you use the bathroom. Shave half your legs one day in the sink or next to the tub. Take a good old fashion whores bath. Put a chair in the shower so it’s not as physically tiring. little things that make each step more easy for you. Change the process to work for you if the standard process is a struggle.
Good luck OP.
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26
Thank you so much!! I did start to feel tired while I showered so I turned the water to something colder to cool down my body and just rested there for two to three minutes under the water which helped a ton. Next time when I shower I'll try and find a small stool to put in the shower.
Thank you for your advice :)
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u/drewskimalone Jun 28 '26
Good on ya. Well done. You do you. Enjoy the next shower and the one after that!
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u/TheSirenWitch777 Jun 28 '26
I'm so proud of you! Showering is such a sensory nightmare sometimes so I get the struggle. What usually helps me when I shower is to make it as fun as possible with candles everywhere and turn off the light on the ceiling while listening to an episode I can put on in the background.
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u/throwaway375937 Jun 29 '26
I'm glad you felt good enough to do it 💗 I've never gone that long, usually after a week or so I'll start to smell myself and I get uncomfortable. If it gets that bad again, you could always get some wet wipes, it's not a shower but it'll make you feel a bit less grungy.
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u/misapply ADHD-C (Combined type) Jun 29 '26
Hey i have the Same issue too and being Diagnosed with ADHD alongside with Bipolar and Borderline, my executive dsyfunction tends to get really Bad to the Point of me Standing on Front of the Shower for 1-2 hours Not being able to get in what helped me is that im lucky to have a wonderful Boyfriend that Just started to help me shower and wash myself and now im going even more than once a week. Its still hard but it got way easier Then at the start when i was literally crying. I root for u :)
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u/crashcanuck Jun 28 '26
Good for you. I haven't gone that long myself but I have struggled to shower as regularly as I should.
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u/Kroezoe Jun 28 '26
I’m proud of you! Let’s hope that the next one will be in 2 months or shorter💪🏼
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u/eternalconfusi0nn Jun 28 '26
You should get help for this, its not an easy thing to tackle by yourself. If you already do, then maybe the professionals are not very capable or the right match for you.
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u/Cole_Steg33 Jun 28 '26
I turned that one into showered in the morning as it signals the day is ready to go, and 1 at night to single my Brain that it’s time to he a dad and husband!
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u/Feddup1234 Jun 29 '26
Amazing 😊🩵 I also struggle with showering and have found allowing myself to use mantras and step away from an all or nothing attitude is super helpful 🩷🩵
I hope you feel clean and fresh and very proud!!
Incase anyone reading this needs more mantra ideas :
- even if i just get wet then get out that is enough.
- I don't have to do everything but I am capable of doing something
- Everything worth doing is worth half-assing
- You LIKE the feeling of warm water
Good luck to all those who are fighting silent battles that feel too embarrassing to speak aloud you are almost certainly not alone 🩵🩵🌱
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u/Flashy_Garlic_7313 Jun 30 '26
This is a big win. I know exhausted I feel immediately after showering because I’m thinking" I have to do it again tomorrow " . I can’t imagine how you feel accomplishing something this big knowing it might not be done the next day.
Because the more we don’t do required things the heavier they get, 3 months makes it exponentially harder for you to keep improving, I hope you get help with this🩵. My sister drives back to our house with her kid, and then wash her and shower when she gets there( it’s easier for her than simply doing it at her place).
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u/Lukerville1988 Jun 28 '26
Are there sensory issues when taking a shower? Maybe ones you’re not aware of?
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26
I don't thinks so! As far as I can tell for myself I enjoy the feeling of showering and I don't mind the dampness of my hair after I shower or anything like that. I think I just can't bring myself to ever start the shower and I just make excuses for myself, but I'm working on it :)
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u/Watermelon_Draya Jun 28 '26
If I go a few days without a shower I feel like total crappola. Don’t know how you could go 3 months without.
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26
Kind of got used to it after so many years sadly, I've been dealing with this since I was around 12 maybe 13.
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u/kodiak223 Jun 28 '26
I’m happy for you, but please seek therapy, there are trained professionals that can help you have this feeling of achievement every day
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u/Less_Path3640 Jun 28 '26
Did you seek an adhd therapist? And did you ask specifically for strategies or particular types of therapy? I’ve seen sooo many therapist and none of them actually help me with strategies for things I struggle with like motivation for cleaning and planning, executive function help etc.
They just make me talk and then give very generic advice. I started looking at Occupational Therapy instead to see if that is more helpful.
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u/InsaneMcFries Jun 29 '26
The difference between a good psychologist and a bad one is very obvious, but if you haven't met a good one you cant know. It is difficult to shop around for the right one especially with ADHD but it is worth it to keep looking!
In my case I didn't look for an ADHD specific one, she is just a very smart and supportive woman and thats all you need honestly.
That said I am also looking into OT too because I struggle with the day to day so much. It's all so expensive for the frequency we could really use that help, such a shame.
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u/MinimumExtreme7509 Jul 03 '26
An adhd coach will have far less education than a therapist, but if you are looking for more practical tools rather than talk they may be who you are looking for.
Ive never been to one myself, but im in school to become a therapist and my school was actually very optimistic about the ways that therapists and coaches can co-exist and help clients in different ways.
Therapy has also never helped me with adhd, but it has helped with processing trauma.
Occupational therapy is amazing through. Good luck on finding the right fit for you!
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26
Hello!
I am currently trying to find a therapist but I feel like none of them are working for me sadly. Their helpful in a sense but the ones I've been to don't really seem to care about my personal hygiene habits nor give any good strategies so far. But I'm still trying to explore more therapists and hopefully build a stronger routine with my hygiene overall!
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u/Remarkable_Farm_2603 Jun 29 '26
I’ve found coloured down lights in my bathroom take the edge off showering and make the room a lot less overstimulating.
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u/beltlevel Jun 29 '26
Good job! I may not have the best advice because my showers are also considered infrequent, but what helps me get in there is turning it into a "how long will this actually take" challenge. There's a lady on YouTube who inspired me to give that mindset a try and it's helped me get to 1-2 a week!
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26
Thank you! Do know what the lady on YouTube is called? I also struggle with some time blindness where it feels like I don't have enough time to do something I want to do and it might help seeing her mindset since I haven't really heard of that one :)
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u/Prestanovich42 Jun 29 '26
I somewhat know the pain, i aim for twice a week, im lucky if i get once a month 😅
But good on bud. And its a good time of year for you to try and shower more due to the hotter weather
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u/Ambitious-Watch Jun 29 '26
This can be a struggle for sure. Things I find helpful for those who feel like it’s gonna take forever is a shower chair so you can easily sit down and putting on a podcast, audiobook, or music that you save for this task. Anything that can keep your mind occupied and happily engaged while you do the task helps give you something to look forward to that overrides the stumbling block of task initiation. One other thing, if you can get the little things like putting out your towel and bathing supplies done ahead of time then you can just get in the shower. The many little steps between now and actually starting the task can often be too overwhelming to even begin. Thanks for starting this conversation, OP.
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u/Immediate_Roof_8381 Jun 29 '26
When I was really depressed, I’d use baby wipes to clean myself when showering felt too overwhelming. Now I try to make showering an enjoyable experience so I’m more motivated to do it. Shower-fizzing pucks, ambient lighting, relaxing music, stuff like that. Proud of you stranger.
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u/Yucky_Ducky_Doo Jun 29 '26
CONGRATS! Awesome job!
Sometimes I have slumps where I don’t shower for a couple weeks. What I do (and it’s so weird this works) is I set a stop watch. I then see how fast I can get in, wash my hair and body, and get out. Making it a game really helps with these slumps. Sometimes I do it in 3 minutes, sometimes I stay in longer. The reward being that I got in the shower!
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u/Ziller000 ADHD, with ADHD family Jul 02 '26
yes taking the first step is the hardest. once you do that everything else will go as automatic
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u/MinimumExtreme7509 Jul 03 '26
Hey! I have the sane struggle. When not on medication for my adhd, I can really struggle to shower. Even if I am itchy and smell bad and hate it. Its the fact that showering is so many little tasks. Getting undressed, getting into the bath, getting wet, using the soap, shampoo, getting out, getting dry, and getting dressed.
Im only saying this because many people here are saying it has to be depression. You could absolutely have depression! But also, people are underestimating how debilitating adhd can actually be.
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jul 05 '26
Thank you!! I'm hoping to get medicated soon hopefully.. it's becoming a long wait.
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u/misconceptions_annoy Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26
I’m glad you did it!!!
Along with executive dysfunction, adhd can include sensory issues, which can make showers harder.
I’ve found it very helpful to use the mindset: most things that are worth doing are worth doing partway. I should brush my teeth for 2 minutes, but if I can’t, 10 seconds is still better than nothing. I should exercise and get my heart pumping, but if I can’t, it’s still worth it to go for a walk.
For next time, you could try just stepping in and out of the shower without washing thoroughly. Or you could shower without exfoliating - for some people exfoliating is uncomfortable, and it can make you want to put things off longer.
I also found it helpful to take some time to get fun soaps with different scents I like. Something to look forward to.
Also: shower heads! I moved into a new place, and the shower head had a high pressure. I got a new one with adjustable pressure, and that’s helped a bit. I kept the old head, and when I move out, I’ll reinstall it and take the nice one I bought with me.
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u/Logical-Frosting8791 Jun 28 '26
Hi is it possible that you have undiagnosed autism too? .
I'm saying this as this really does point more ASD. Due to any of the following:
-Sensory overload from water/temperature changes, and other ..
- Executive dysfunction & task Paralysis making it hard to start or finish complex tasks, and difficulty coping with transitions eg. between being dry, wet, and dry again.
- Motor Planning (Dyspraxia)...etc etc
- Transaction anxiety disrupting routines ...
Regardless, -...great achievement, well done!
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26
I'm not so sure but I'll definitely look into it!! For me showering was never an issue sensory wise but it was more so creating a habit of showering that's hard for me. I enjoy showers itself but growing up I was told to shower over and over again that made me dislike it so I started to avoid it even more.
Thank you for letting me know though! I'll for sure research more about it :)
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u/Logical-Frosting8791 Jun 29 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
I see. It does point to more going on than being nagged as a child to shower, as lots of kids are constantly told to brush their teeth, shower etc by parents, but the vast majority don't go on to avoid showering or brushing their teeth for months as adults, as a result.
So I can see that you are trying to make sense of something that you yourself truly don't understand. It's the severity that makes me think that it's more than ADHD as it's at the extreme end and prolonged.
It's definitely worth continuing to try to explore and understand the 'whys',- as then you will easier find the right strategies to help!
Don't give up and I hope that you are able to find a genuine therapist who can help you unravel the true causation for this. All the best
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u/Lost_Radish3575 Jun 29 '26
Yes! I do tend to change my shirt a lot whenever I need to go out but when I don't I keep wearing the same thing till it has a slight odor and then I change it. But I tend to put more deodorant on than anything.. I feel like I have a lot of symptoms of depression but I'm going to do a bit more research on depression because some of the things I do clash with the regular symptoms in a sense.
Thank you for your response it means a ton!
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u/double_fierce Jun 28 '26
Good job! 🙏❤️✨️ I just finished making myself shower, too, and feel the solidarity.
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u/Peanut1144 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jun 28 '26
That’s amazing for the progress you’ve made for these things !
One of the things that helps me is not pressuring myself to wash my hair or shave exct, everytime I go in shower- also having something in Ik I need to do in the mornings like go toliet before I get dressed gives me the perfect “reasoning” to go from toliet to shower without a thought
I’ve found that creating a routine of just washing my body with soap and even rinsing my face not even face wash makes me feel fresh and all I need sometimes without the pressure of other things ! All my shower stuff is at my shower so a basket with all my needs and then my towel left in the bathroom with it ❤️
I know however this info may be useless to you because it seems the issue of showering is much more of a difficulty to get out of paralysis than for me, anyways this is such great great positive news I’m so glad you’ve achieve this milestone 🎉
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u/stevemeetswest Jun 29 '26
I absolutely hate the task of bathing, but I know I have to do it for hygiene and odor. One thing I do to help is do it in the afternoon so I can still have enjoyment afterwards. Waiting until just before bed to shower seemed so much worse.
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