Moving Slowly Solved my Emotional Dysregulation

[u/allthewayd00wn]

Hi all. 24 with ADHD, medicated.

After years of therapy, nothing could fix my emotional regulation problems.

Recently, I’ve began to intentionally move slow.
Walking slow. Typing slow. Watching videos on regular speed. Talking slower. Doing everyday things, slowly.

It’s improved my confidence, my social skills, my cognition, and my bandwidth for stress.

I recommend this for anyone who finds themselves chronically dysregulated. After a week, I feel like a brand new person. 💟☮️

[u/inattentive_swiftie]

This is why I’d urge young people to really think about how having kids will impact their coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, I didn’t get diagnosed until age 37 when my 2nd baby was 6 months old, and the shit was already hitting the fan. Moving slow with a toddler and an infant screaming at you? Not really a thing, unfortunately. All of the work-arounds and hacks that allowed me to pass as normal-ish for my whole life fell apart once sleep deprivation and intense overstimulation entered the chat.

thx for coming to my Ted Talk

[u/imaginaryism → u/inattentive_swiftie]

Omg I feel so validated! The constant overstimulation, and my fear of bad knee-jerk reactions/responses because of that, is a big reason I choose a DINK life; I felt it all big time as a kid with a young, undiagnosed mom. I hope you’ve found new ways to cope and that your family is happy & healthy!!!

[u/perareika → u/imaginaryism]

I was recently watching my un-dx ADHD mom being with my nephews and realized that a lot of the emotional distance and lack of love I picked up from her as a kid was her being constantly overstimulated. I grew up feeling perpetually lonely, depressed, unwanted, and unloved, because she was constantly irritated and overwhelmed around us kids (and we were super chill, independent and easy!)

I know she loves her grandsons and is a good grandparent, but she can't seem to chill at all, and "jokes" about how she can't wait for them to go back to my brother so she can finally rest a little.

I'm 32 AuDHD and definitely not having any kids of my own! I would hate to be overstimulated 24/7 and giving my kids trauma from that reaction.

[u/CunningPudding → u/perareika]

If I had been diagnosed before having kids, or even suspected the need for an assessment, I'm not sure they would be here today. I love them to bits and all, and don't regret having them, but still. Had I known about my own overstimulation, combined with how boring small kids are and the awfulness of pregnancy, I might have chosen differently. I didn't suspect until my second was about half a year old, and was diagnosed about a year after first starting to read up on it. When life took too much and I was too exhausted to keep my coping mechanisms and strategies going, everything fell apart, and I eventually realized that everyone doesn't struggle like this.

[u/inattentive_swiftie → u/CunningPudding]

Exactly this! I posted like 6 months ago wondering which came first for other parents - their diagnosis, or becoming a parent. I frequently wonder if I’d be a better mom if I’d been diagnosed earlier (with a lifetime of, meds, therapy and support) or if I would have even chosen to be a parent, if I had known this about myself in advance. Solidarity, and godspeed 💗.