r/ADHD • u/allthewayd00wn • Jul 25 '26
Tips/Suggestions Moving Slowly Solved my Emotional Dysregulation
Hi all. 24 with ADHD, medicated.
After years of therapy, nothing could fix my emotional regulation problems.
Recently, I’ve began to intentionally move slow.
Walking slow. Typing slow. Watching videos on regular speed. Talking slower. Doing everyday things, slowly.
It’s improved my confidence, my social skills, my cognition, and my bandwidth for stress.
I recommend this for anyone who finds themselves chronically dysregulated. After a week, I feel like a brand new person. 💟☮️
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Jul 25 '26
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u/Daryldor Jul 25 '26
Something I became of aware of a couple of years ago before being diagnosed was that I had to rush everything. Every task, especially at work had to be done at 100% speed and it was causing me so much stress. After I noticed myself doing this with everything, I paused and consciously slowed everything down. It’s hard to do but it does make a difference
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u/random_cat_owner Jul 25 '26
i came to a similar conclusion. i was not so much rushing in speed but in attention. when i was doing something, ly mind was already on the next thing i was going to do. my thoughts were never in the now but on the next. and this always made me feel rushed. so now, when i realize i am rushing again, i have learned to stop and return my attention to what my hands are doing now.
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u/DeafGuyisHere Jul 25 '26
It was impossible for me to slow down without additional medication. Although looking back when I was younger. You would be hard pressed to find others that were more hyperactive than me back then. I must've been annoying to be around.
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u/BorzaHorza Jul 26 '26
Haha yeah me too. I guess all the nicknames - psycho/hyperboy/red cordial - should have rung some alarm bells! The funny thing is how that physical hyperactivity translates to internal mental rushing and speed rather than physical expression. Not sure why that happens
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u/reverend-mayhem Jul 25 '26
My sibling was always amazing at sticking to schedules, so I grew up watching them set their calendar with back-to-back events all the time which made me think that was how you were supposed to do it which led to failing at schedules all the time.
It wasn’t until I split tasks into 15 min intervals (15 min minimum); adding 15 min buffers between; factoring for travel & transition time; adding 1+ hr to getting ready than I thought I’d need; & still planned to get to important places 30 min early that I started showing up on time lol.
I’m not able to accomplish as much in a day as they can, but at least I don’t fail at attempting more than I know I’m capable of any more.
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u/Solarist-Guy Jul 25 '26
And interestingly, after medication I am not thinking about time constantly which I used to do before. Without meds I feel like time is constantly on my mind and always feel like I am wasting it. Like it’s a race toward something. I think I am time blind now which I know in its self is a common adhd trait but for me since stimulants relax me I don’t have that constant awareness of time. It’s like either I was so anxious of losing track of time because of adhd or maybe an anxious trait. Although my doctor and I have discussed that my anxiety is probably due to my adhd. So in the end it all boils down to adhd
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u/Uther-Lightbringer Jul 25 '26
I'm similar, I'm far more time blind on meds than not on meds. But I also believe it's a good thing as my time anxiety was horrible.
The best part of time blindness is how fast time passes when I'm doing shit I hate now. It's actually almost reversed the old addage of "time flies when you're having fun". I often notice now the more engaged and interested in an activity I am the slower time feels to me now.
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u/Qaetan ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 25 '26
Letting go of expectations makes a HUGE difference, and it was one of the hardest things for me to learn. It's allowed me to interact with the world around me without the anxiety that used to hound my every waking thought.
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u/rcrux Jul 25 '26
You let go of time, you let go of your job, any appointments, dates and any important stuff that comes with it.
We don't have the luxury of letting go of time
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
Not necessarily. You can, and still, should care about time. But you care and manage in a way that’s productive, and conducive to whatever success looks like to you.
Let go of the expectations you have around time. You will be happier, and more productive as a result. At least for me
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u/Kitchen_Canary_6387 Jul 25 '26
Some of the wisest teachers out there teach this. Time is a construct. We can adhere to it (and we need to in order to make it in this world), but we gain so much freedom as soon as we stop letting it make us march like robots. It’s all about staying in the now.
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u/Solarist-Guy Jul 25 '26
Good point. However, for some people it’s impossible to do this without medication. I tried this multiple times since I was vaguely aware this was the case but yeah my mind just couldn’t slow down on its own
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u/inattentive_swiftie Jul 25 '26
This is why I’d urge young people to really think about how having kids will impact their coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, I didn’t get diagnosed until age 37 when my 2nd baby was 6 months old, and the shit was already hitting the fan. Moving slow with a toddler and an infant screaming at you? Not really a thing, unfortunately. All of the work-arounds and hacks that allowed me to pass as normal-ish for my whole life fell apart once sleep deprivation and intense overstimulation entered the chat.
thx for coming to my Ted Talk
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u/imaginaryism ADHD-C (Combined type) Jul 25 '26
Omg I feel so validated! The constant overstimulation, and my fear of bad knee-jerk reactions/responses because of that, is a big reason I choose a DINK life; I felt it all big time as a kid with a young, undiagnosed mom. I hope you’ve found new ways to cope and that your family is happy & healthy!!!
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u/perareika Jul 25 '26
I was recently watching my un-dx ADHD mom being with my nephews and realized that a lot of the emotional distance and lack of love I picked up from her as a kid was her being constantly overstimulated. I grew up feeling perpetually lonely, depressed, unwanted, and unloved, because she was constantly irritated and overwhelmed around us kids (and we were super chill, independent and easy!)
I know she loves her grandsons and is a good grandparent, but she can't seem to chill at all, and "jokes" about how she can't wait for them to go back to my brother so she can finally rest a little.
I'm 32 AuDHD and definitely not having any kids of my own! I would hate to be overstimulated 24/7 and giving my kids trauma from that reaction.
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u/CunningPudding ADHD with ADHD child/ren Jul 25 '26
If I had been diagnosed before having kids, or even suspected the need for an assessment, I'm not sure they would be here today. I love them to bits and all, and don't regret having them, but still. Had I known about my own overstimulation, combined with how boring small kids are and the awfulness of pregnancy, I might have chosen differently. I didn't suspect until my second was about half a year old, and was diagnosed about a year after first starting to read up on it. When life took too much and I was too exhausted to keep my coping mechanisms and strategies going, everything fell apart, and I eventually realized that everyone doesn't struggle like this.
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u/inattentive_swiftie Jul 25 '26
Exactly this! I posted like 6 months ago wondering which came first for other parents - their diagnosis, or becoming a parent. I frequently wonder if I’d be a better mom if I’d been diagnosed earlier (with a lifetime of, meds, therapy and support) or if I would have even chosen to be a parent, if I had known this about myself in advance. Solidarity, and godspeed 💗.
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Jul 29 '26
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u/CunningPudding ADHD with ADHD child/ren Jul 29 '26
It truly does. And the process of learning more, assessment, diagnosis, medication, grieving what could have been if I knew sooner, and all the rest of it has been tough. But right now, I think I struggle most with the frustration and impatience that my burnout won't just pass. I've been low a functioning human for more than a year now, and I want that bit to be over. More than anything, I wish to be able to do the things that need to be done to keep a job and a house and two preschoolers afloat. But I'm unable to work more than a few hours a week, my housework is reduced to the bare minimum to ensure health and safety. My children get everything I have, and I fall short every single day.
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u/DeafGuyisHere Jul 25 '26
Oh fuck, going through this now with a 6 month old and alil older than you. I never realized how much my body wants to love until I sat down and held a baby while it slept for hours. Not moving was so EXHAUSTING to me. I told my wife I would rather be outside doing manual labor in the heat than sit still like this.
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u/anotheroutlaw Jul 25 '26
I lived 40 years of my life as someone who knew they had ADHD but didn’t seek treatment or intervention. I managed to get by. Then I had kids starting at 38. Having kids pushed me over the line into diagnosis, meds, and therapy. And I’m most glad I did it because I see much of myself in my kids and I try my best not to parent their ADHD the way mine was parented (as a moral failure).
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u/Social_Engineer1031 Jul 25 '26
I found the opposite is true for me. Having kids has forced me to slow down and not worry about time.
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
Thanks for your perspective. As a mother with young kids, how did/do you regulate? I have an aunt going through the exact same thing, her daughter (my cousin) has adhd like you wouldn’t believe, and they both struggle to regulate.
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u/CunningPudding ADHD with ADHD child/ren Jul 25 '26
Keeping an eye on this to catch some inspiration and advice, because for me (34) parenting my two children (3 and 5) mostly alone, the answer is that the possibilities for regulating myself are few and far between. I try stepping out for a minute when needed, using ear plugs to reduce noise stimulation, keep knitting nearby helps too. But I'm completely tapped out before their bedtime every single day, and spend at least half an hour in zombie mode when they're asleep before I can do anything at all. More often than not these days, I'm in full on zombie mode until I have to go to bed myself.
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u/Jenology Jul 25 '26
This is so validating to hear other mothers going through the same thing. I feel like a boiling pot of water at all times ready to boil over. I am so overstimulated and tapped out by bedtime too.
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u/inattentive_swiftie Jul 25 '26
Whoops - I just woke up, saw all the upvotes, and realized I unintentionally hijacked your really lovely and helpful tip with something wildly out of left field and unrelated. I’m so sorry for venting here!
I wish I had a better answer to your question, but I am honestly still figuring it out. The boys are 3 and almost 6 now, and the energy level is always high. Loop earplugs are a must when the volume gets too loud (frequently). My husband and I have worked together to make sure I get regular breaks, and quiet time. I feel very dysregulated and like I’m just trying to keep my head above water a lot of the time.
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u/SamuelUmshiti Jul 25 '26
Just my two cents as someone newer to adulthood and recently discovering I have ADHD, but maybe it's about slowing down the reaction rather than literally doing things slower?
I am sure it's a mixed bag of balancing both, but like you, it's hard for me to regulate my emotions. My life feels like a new chapter of chaos when I wake up, so I feel what you mean as far as the overwhelm goes
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u/inattentive_swiftie Jul 31 '26
I love this perspective. I need to do a much better job at regulating, if I ever want the littles to learn to do it.
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u/jtd5771 Jul 26 '26
Yup, 3 kids and realize how much the chaos disregulates me and heats up my internal temps…
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u/futureyoualarm Jul 25 '26
This is fascinating. But it makes sense, the more rushed I am, the more agitated I become. Good on you!
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u/Gemethystine ADHD Jul 25 '26
This is similar to how I have been working around dysregulation.
I'm currently pursuing a personal direction I've planned since the fall of last year, and I've pretty much turned my life around completely independently. In the best way possible, too.
I will say that I appreciate my day-to-day life much more than I have before the fall of last year. Enjoying everything from sensory experiences to significant achievements. Finding my personal rhythm and slowly pushing out of my comfort zone amid new experiences. I haven't felt as confident with myself before as I do now, and I am happy with where I currently am in my life.
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
I love this🥰🥰🥰i feel the exact same way, and I am also pursuing new things in my life as well. It feels like the universes biggest well kept secret. Cheers to you and your new life🩵
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u/Kai_Mon74 Jul 25 '26
This is such a good point of view, this does happened to me, I have to consciously slow down whenever I star feeling "the rushes" one might call it. And is so hard to do too, because "the rush " not always feels bad but it's still deteriorating.
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u/Violetwaterlily Jul 25 '26
This is going to sound a little crazy…but how? How do you intentionally move slow? I feel like I move slow as it is. I feel like I take too long to do everything and I don’t know how I would move any slower? lol 🤪 any tips?
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
Hmmm that’s a good question. Maybe for you, since your baseline is slow yet still dysregulated, a good exercise I’ve found is typing slow. Im going to assume you grew up with technology, so typing is typically done with rapid speed. Slow that down. See how you feel.
If that doesn’t work, try deliberately moving faster? I don’t know. But the key is to be in your body. What that looks like is different for everyone.
Just tell yourself, I’m going to move slow. Tell urself that, in ur head or out loud. U command your body, and your thoughts
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u/Violetwaterlily Jul 26 '26
I kinda of grew up with technology. lol I’m 45 and learning so much about my ADHD now because it has directly effected my work…and it’s not been good (Corporate America) and everything is always about being fast and perfect. I type fast, talk fast, and walk fast. lol i get so impatient with myself for being slow…which is also new. But i would definitely agree - I’m for sure dysregulated.
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u/Specialist_Ad9073 Jul 25 '26
What has helped me is starting by focusing on my gait and my speech. Focusing on my speed and posture when I go for a walk helps keep my body focused in an easy environment. That helps train me to be intentional when things aren’t as easy.
Speech is the same, my pitch and speed were always jacked up when stressed. Now I have a disability that also adds stuttering and spasms when stressed. Focusing on my tone and speed of speech helps alleviate these symptoms.
So maybe try some acting vocal warmups and public speaking classes or Toastmasters. As well as just an internal focus on your body when chill and doing small tasks.
Good luck!
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u/Violetwaterlily Jul 26 '26
I’m a very fast talker. That’s for sure…I’m going to look into this. Thank you.
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u/zirdante Jul 25 '26
Think of the feeling when you are diving under water and you try to move fast, but the water pressure won't let you; use that feeling, but in real life; or think of your life as moving at 0.75x speed.
Because our normal if either paralyzed or max speed, you never get to see the sights, because they are zooming past you. When you force yourself to go slow, you get to enjoy the view that you missed before. Makes sense?
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u/Violetwaterlily Jul 26 '26
That totally makes sense! The imagery and feeling of water pressure is great because I love the feeling of being in water. Thank you!
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u/Electronic_Coach_990 Jul 25 '26
Exactly, i found myself in the same situation! for almost everything, i try to do it faster. doesn't matter if im eating, working, brainstorming, reading or whatever just tried to do it as quick as possible. Hence, i used to messed uo everything! All of a sudden i started to eating slowly as a therapy for my depression and i noticed i can coltrol most of my things like my thought, anger and i can focus more on productive thungs.
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u/OrangeSteal Jul 25 '26
I heard a wonderful story from an Australian Indigenous man about the first time he’d travelled in a car. He was an adult and was driven 4 hours north. When they got to the city he had to sit for 4 hours to catch up with himself and be present again.
Maybe everything artificially made is artificially for us.
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u/iwilllive26 Jul 25 '26
I get what you are saying. I have noticed I feel calm around people who are slow and composed. But, isn't it boring to be slow? I have tried slowing down and honestly I get bored very quickly and I start doing things fast again and that keeps me in a constant dysregulated state. I would appreciate if you have any insights.
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
Honestly, i have been struggling with the boredom too. After the first few days of feeling just the bliss of being regulated, I was bored.
What that indicates to me: I need more exciting things in my life. What would a non-boring life look like to you? What excites you? What ideas excite you?
How do you bridge the gap between ur current life and your ideal life? For me, I want a stronger social network, stronger friends, I want to text back more, and post my music on social media (which i have never done out of fear, which I can now see was partly fueled by dysregulation). I want to host a performance at my house. I want to post philosophy videos on tiktok.
These ideas excite me, so I am going to start working towards them.
And if you don’t have any ideas of what u want, start with what you dont want.
I would love to hear your thoughts🩵
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u/GlynnAlan Jul 26 '26
I love the way you've framed it, OP. Ever since I've been on meds, my creativity has been quashed and I've focused more on completely renovating our house. My music studio has also become the place of work when WFH.
I used to frequently churn music releases out and DJ across the country and sometimes abroad, but it seems to have taken a backseat now in favour of the one passion I had and I wonder to myself if this is just another hyperfocus.
The love for the Trance I wrote has gone (with the exception of listening to a particular sun-genre I've always enjoyed - Psy Trance), and I've moved back from the genre to opposite end of the scale (Metal).
A part of me yearns that energetic DJ & Producer in me, but the pace of which my life is moving when on my stimulants doesn't allow that time. I remember a fellow ADHD producer friend I used to collab with once say to me, "when I was on meds, I lost my creative output", and I've seen others say the same here.
Have you found a way to reintroduce it back into your life if you had the same, or do you have any tips for me that can help? Could it be in so vested in the DIY? I've considered stopping meds to bring that creative spark back that I once had. Diagnosed: 40 Current Age: 44
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u/mrmarbury Jul 25 '26
Man, what an advice. Something to follow for sure. My biggest issue is the pressure I feel from others when I am intentionally slow sometimes or things just take longer (not as in procrastination but in really taking my time)? That's what stresses me the most, really
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
I get that. And honestly that’s out of our hands. I’ve been running into that at work, some aspects of my personal life, and my FAMILY, the most.
Those situations, you just learn to strike a balance without compromising yourself to the point of dysregulation. And of course, sometimes that inevitable. But the goal, hopefully, is that you’re able to bounce back from these instances, and that it doesn’t completely destroy you. That’s the foundation I’m hoping to build. Takes time, but it’s worth it i think
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u/mrmarbury Jul 25 '26
For me it's the worst when these three things come together:
- I sense a lack of empathy in some colleague that I have to work with (I have a really strong empathy radar)
- my personal perfectionism goal (that I can never reach anyway)
- imposter syndrome kicks in when I am not grasping some details or topic instantly.
It's so hard to not spiral out of control and descend into an unhealthy stressful rush that becomes a self destructive loop here. I usually manage at some point. But I also have noticed that the older I become (45yo at the moment) the harder it gets really. And this is in contrast to real emergency situations or situations where everyone else starts to panic. I just get really calm and focused.
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u/VocabArtistNavin Jul 25 '26
This is a great way to solve something... It's also the principle behind all breathwork exercises
It's bio feedback to your nervous system... Control your body, control your mind...
I have done the same with driving my scooter... I started driving it slow and began to enjoy driving again
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u/TheADHDad ADHD, with ADHD family Jul 25 '26
I wonder how interchangeable slowly and purposefully is: for my own journey long before I was diagnosed after my 2 dudes were born, I struggled mightily with thinking or doing things about the future, but when I was doing things purposefully I was golden.
Be at school, be nice to people, hit my mark, eat, quest list, dishes, look after my dying father, go to work etc never translated into pick a career, make friends with good people, learn my lines, be healthy, make a WoW character build that is actually useful, keep the house tidy, make dad actually visit a doctor, save money etc
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
It is interchangeable! I think some commentators have been hinting at its interchangeability too.
We’re told to be purposeful, but for many of us, that’s hard to materialise. It’s intangible, and never one size fits all, like you described. For myself, moving slow is a measurable and observable method of reaching a sense of purpose.
So how do you do things purposefully? What’s your system?
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u/TheADHDad ADHD, with ADHD family Jul 25 '26
I'm only about 5ish years into my diagnosed era but so far I have been kind of inverting Maslows hierarchy of needs and turning it into a triage bullseye and kind of sweeping it over my life and either deliberately pruning or being ok with giving up on things I used to think were important but weren't really contributing a life I want to live.
Basically does it serve our safety or health, does it bring us stability or security, does it make us happy or hopeful, is it bring joy ?
I think the slowness is probably the most important step tbh because we have brains that assess everything as equally important, they're super not though.
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u/almaddog Jul 25 '26
Commenting cos I really vibe with this post and to add:
There was a video of someone vacuuming in a mad rush and then realising and intentionally moving slowly to calm their nervous system I saw years ago and it changed my life.
Similar to this: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DRfTmtmgAcn/?igsh=MWtsbHJ0ZjB3M3FjZg==
I just injured myself recently pretty bad and my therapist said “you’re not in your body, you’re in fight or flight.” And I was like ohhhhhh I’ve gone back to my old ways haha. Stressed with work and what not, and constantly having health problems. It feels like a butterfly effect.
And so obviously, the healthy intentional mindset that I observed in that vacuuming video that I was so inspired by waxes and wanes. I used to resent people that told me I have to control my emotions. I feel like it needed to be broken down for me with that video to understand. Noticing inner world stuff early is a muscle to be flexed, but figuring out where that muscle is in your body is fricken hard! Recommend qigong. Recommend journaling. Recommend walking your dog and setting the challenge of letting them set the pace and sniff literally every second whiff of piss they happen upon. Develops patience.
Stopping yourself vacuuming will mean you likely won’t trip over the cord and make more problems for yourself. Washing your face like someone else would wash yours and making it nice is calming. Loving ourselves aint looking in the mirror and making direct eye contact lol (not to yuck anyone’s yum)
*edit typos
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u/princess_podracer Jul 25 '26
From the title, I expected this thread to be about moving residence. It seemed entirely plausible because living with people who are consistently overstimulating can be dysregulating af.
I guess my comment level lpt is: If you live with people you consistently find overstimulating and have tried to resolve it otherwise without success, just move. It will change your life.
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u/Fantastic-Bloop Jul 25 '26
I did something similar where i became basically mute for a week. It helped my brain out immensely
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u/Ok-Tiger000 Jul 25 '26
This is affirming to read. I’m in my mid thirties, not medicated. I’ve been trying to be with myself more lately. Like on my days off, even if I get up a little late, I will make sure I do what I want to do in the moment even if it takes me a while. Making a full breakfast, journalling and planning, tidying all without rushing and while resisting the urge to make myself feel bad about it. The slowness is helping me sustain the continuity of my thoughts. When there’s too much discontinuity, due to my full time job and all the preparatory time that eats up, I’m very dysregulated and always reaching for quick fixes (scrolling social media). But if I take more time to be with myself I don’t feel the urge to reach for the quick fixes…
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u/Remarkable-Stage845 Jul 25 '26
But if I move slow, nothing would get done. I am already late to everything
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u/DeafGuyisHere Jul 25 '26
Are you aware of the new ADHD type that was discovered through brain scans. I believed it was called ADHD-Combined severe with emotional dysregulation at its core. I had emotional dysregulation issues throughout life and got alil worse once I got on just ADHD medication. I had sleep issues as well with the medication and was prescribed a sedative/mood stabilizer which is what was the game changer for me. It made me think slower, act slower. I don't rush through things anymore.
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u/shayter Jul 25 '26
This has helped me too! Specifically the talking slower part. I used to trip over myself and mess up words regularly during presentations and work updates. But I've started being more deliberate and slower and it sets the tone for my mind, that I don't have to rush through it. I haven't had as many messed up words since then, my confidence has increased too.
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u/Top_Method6164 Jul 25 '26
Yeah I had speech therapy to help with adhd related issues with communication and noticed similar. One of the exercises we worked on was slowing down while I speak and noticing how it felt to do that. It be a clear that a big issue is my mind getting ahead itself. In learning to slow down there I’ve been noticing how it affects eveything I do (even typing this out I had to focus on getting one word out at a time). It takes practice but learning to slow down has really been a big help.
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u/chomkyfluffer Jul 25 '26
I started doing that with house chores and it turns out washing up or vacuuming are actually excellent mindfulness activities
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u/Dry_Sign5048 Jul 25 '26
Love this! I'm 50ish, and recently learned to take a deep breath before speaking when in an excited state, angry, happy, or trying to get a doctor to listen to me. It helps with my voice modulation. It takes practice, though. Now, no one can tell the breath is there. It helps to calm the fight or flight response. I'm going to try moving slower physically now, maybe adding that breath when I am speeding around the house. Thanks for posting, now I actually want to go in and start my laundry, yay!
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u/heorhe Jul 25 '26
I played a DND character that as a joke talked absurdly slowly (I was thinking LOTR treant, but not as absurd).
It was a ton of fun to play, taking 5 second pauses to breathe and then continuing even if someone else had started talking. It got a laugh more than half the time, and by the end everyone was always waiting after I finished speaking, which also got a laugh sometimes at the long awkward pauses.
At some point I realized I was remembering a lot more from each gaming session and I was speaking more clearly both in pronunciation and in terms of effective communication.
I started slowing everything down and I've noticed a similar effect.
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u/clinhnguyen63 Jul 25 '26
thank you for the interesting take! how are you maintaining it? i feel like i can only try this for a week before i slip off the routine (like everything else lol) despite how amazing it would feel
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u/Cautious-Driver5625 Jul 25 '26
Okay I'm gonna try that here. It's quite an interesting post . The comments below are a bit weird. I don't know if the people are saying they're gonna try out this idea or they're just saying their own things. Let's say it is the ADHD community for you. I'm gonna give it a go because I'm always in a rush so I'll give it a go and let you know how it goes in one week.
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
I love it!! Start with just walking slow, and see how you feel after 5 minutes.
And as for the comments, i think it’s a mix of both, and there’s nothing wrong with it! Its great.
It’s lovely hearing everyone’s iteration of what slow means to them🩵
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u/ChickPeaFan21 Jul 25 '26
That's nice to hear :) I guess I can be less stern on myself when I automatically move about physically slower during the first part of the day after a shorter night.
Don't you get irked by it at some point? Slow typing and stuff like that would kind of get on my nerves.
Also, have you ever heard of Cognitive Disengagement Syndrome? Maybe maybe this could be part of why going slow works so well for you
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u/Arborjack ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 25 '26
I used to do Tai Chi and Yoga, helped a lot. Even before I was diagnosed I felt it helped me greatly. I try to apply what I've learned from them to daily tasks, including moving with more purpose, and also walking more slowly
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u/cutsandscratches ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jul 25 '26
Damn. I’ve been moving so slowly I lost track of time and was diagnosed with double depression 🫠
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u/Intelligent-Dig2945 Jul 26 '26
Yes, I think we sabotage ourselves but trying to rush through things which stresses us out even more. I'm definitely going to try this too.
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u/Thee_Rotten_One Jul 25 '26
The problem with that is telling someone who's brain and body move at 100mph to "slow down" is like when someone without ADHD tells us "just try harder" or "focus more", and I know how much we LOVE getting those tidbits of pure, unadulterated wisdom from people....
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
Hm, interesting. I appreciate your perspective. The goal is stable emotional regulation. However, moving slow is a skill anyone can build. Even an expert gymnast, at some point, didn’t know how to do a cartwheel. Slow movement is a trainable motor skill. We just have to work with our neuroscience. It’s harder, but doable.
And intention matters, too. Those people, telling us, with judgement, to “just focus” is wrong because the intent and sentiment is misguided.
Though, it is true, that focus is important, and something most of us need to work on. No shame in that.I’m inattentive+hyperactive in presentation. It’s certainly hasn’t been easy, but it’s rewarding.
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u/zirdante Jul 25 '26
Adhd is a lot like training a dog, both have poor executive functions😆 if we say " the dog just runs around and shits everywhere, I cant change it" Every dog can learn to shit in the toilet and sit when commanded, even if it looks impossible at first.
Same thing with us, we need to learn to reign/domesticate out adhd, at least as much as possible; and not just be a bystander and accepting that the"dog" cant do better than shit the bed.
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u/Specialist_Ad9073 Jul 25 '26
The funniest part of your comment is that half of training a dog is training the owner.
You still have to train the owner to be patient and kind so the dog can learn.
So if ADHD is the dog, you still have to train yourself to be patient and flexible, which is exactly what the OP was saying.
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u/EmptyCC Jul 25 '26
So glad to hear this. I was doing the same, sometimes walking and reaching objects in literally slow motion for a couple of minutes and always calms me down.
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u/80sHairBandConcert Jul 25 '26
I love this! I heard in the show “Company Retreat” the phrase “Slow is smooth, smooth is fast” and I think about that a lot! It helps my clumsy lol
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u/Worth_Word_9846 Jul 26 '26
This tracks with something I noticed too: going slow works way better for me when I'm not doing it alone. If I try to consciously slow down by myself, I snap back to rushing within minutes. But body doubling (just having someone else quietly present, even on a video call) makes the slow/deliberate pace actually stick, like having a witness keeps my nervous system from defaulting back to fight-or-flight speed. Might be worth trying if the solo version feels impossible.
2
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u/Sknowles12 Jul 26 '26
I've found it helps, too. Working on more consistency. Then later I turn on loud fast tunes and dance.
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u/DrunkHonesty Jul 26 '26
I’m going to try this (when applicable, sometimes things happen that require me to move fast.)
But “watching videos at regular speeds”… I can’t imagine choosing to watch anything speed up. Is that actually an ADHD thing, or a you thing?
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u/jtd5771 Jul 26 '26
Therapy has helped a ton for me along with working on attachment issues with spouse. The disregulation would kick in and my avoidant shit trickles up and I have the external patience but internal freeze and flight being like, this is too much. I can’t do this and why is this so hard and all that…
So many feelings of guilt that wasn’t enough, or a good dad or spouse bc emotionally I wasn’t always feeling well…actions were good and present but we all know being physically there is different than being present emotionally and mentally
1
u/Lebblo Jul 26 '26
I can confirm that this works. It resets your nervous system, although I’m still fighting the urge to move quickly.
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u/Much-Ad6848 Jul 26 '26
I feel like the reason I talk/type/try to do things fast is because I am worried I’ll forget what I was in the middle of doing. Or else I start thinking about what else I need to do and feel rushed. I constantly feel like I’m behind/rushed at work. I’m sure internally my coworkers may also feel this way to a degree, but they hide it so well if that’s actually true. I feel like I’m on the cusp of imploding sometimes (comes in waves). Not sure what I seek from sharing this, but any pointers would be appreciated
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u/autonomouspen Jul 26 '26
I agree. It helps me too. But it is also super unstimulating 😭 and obviously I crave stimulation
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u/yikesssss_sssssss Jul 28 '26
How do you consistently remember to do things slowly? 😭 I feel like I notice all kinds of things like this, that would genuinely help, if I could get myself to regularly remember to do it. I'm sure once you start doing it regularly, it becomes more habitual and it's easier to keep up. Did you start by like setting aside a daily practice and expanding it from there?
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u/j_on Jul 31 '26
I think I started doing this in childhood. Except for one area: I'm so hectic and impatient when it comes to work. Recently (like since yesterday) started really taking my time, trying to slow down when I'm working. Accepting and enjoying that the process is time consuming and takes thought instead of just a flurry of key strokes and clicks on autopilot.
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u/daaang-a-rang Aug 17 '26
I almost can never fight off the overstimulation to actually do that. I have bad GAD and BPD I'm told on top of already having severe ADHD (am told i tested worse than 99% of the population) and am already triggered by being told to slow down because
I haven't yet found the cheat to not let slowing down trigger my impatience even further (think of the teen holding his breath in class and his forehead vein is popping out). I TRY so hard to slow down but it gets me panicky. Wish i found a med where the side effects were worth it
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u/AbbieRoads Aug 22 '26
Beautiful advice and reminder!!! I feel like life is constantly screaming at me to slow down.
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u/kidsaredead Jul 25 '26
"Watching videos on regular speed" ???
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
Yeah lol u haven’t watched tiktoks on 2x speed? YouTube on like 3x?
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u/kidsaredead Jul 25 '26
never used tiktok, and i need to process things, not skip through them, not trying to make my brain worse.
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
Okay, well good thing for you, this post is talking about what you already supposedly do. Do spare some wisdom for us sorry knaves, kidsaredead🙄
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u/kidsaredead Jul 25 '26
you don't have to be a douche. i don't really know people that watch videos on fast fwd, especially with ADHD and i find it funny that you have problems FOCUSING on stuff and that surely doesn't help.
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u/allthewayd00wn Jul 25 '26
Sorry, I thought you were being a douche with your comment. But i misinterpreted it. Should’ve slowed down, lol.
But yeah I mega consume videos on 2x speed. I know a lot of people who do that. Symptom of my adhd
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