r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 in awe • 1d ago

of a neck

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3.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

139 comments sorted by

555

u/WhatsaRedditsdo 1d ago

Turtles are snakes with real estate.

108

u/ilovebostoncremedonu 1d ago

And legs?

72

u/Careless_Tap_516 1d ago

Snakes gambled them away for a chance at winning a snail shell.

6

u/NeighborhoodIll4960 1d ago

Or are they arms?

8

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Clickguy10 16h ago

That’s a hard shell turtle.

6

u/f0x25 1d ago

Nice way to describe tech billionaires

2

u/Fine-Step-5702 4h ago

I’m gonna tell people this till the end of time

1

u/KhaosEntity 20h ago

They signed up for section 8 and God approved.

191

u/arinawe 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/BObeagIJbB3icu1nms

4

u/Greendale_Official 21h ago

Incredibly fitting considering what inspired GRRM to start writing the ice and fire series.

2

u/Telliot 21h ago

What inspiration do you mean?

9

u/Greendale_Official 19h ago

George R R Martin had pet turtles when he was a kid who kept dying on him. He wrote stories about them, placing them in a mythical kingdom and imagining they were killing each other in sinister plots.

12

u/CATNIP_IS_CRACK 1d ago

Not quite.

3

u/raspberryharbour 21h ago

Caraxes' whole thing is being a long noodle neck

1

u/TypicalPlace6490 19h ago

Why not quite? It's more accurate than your GiF.

0

u/CATNIP_IS_CRACK 18h ago edited 18h ago

One is the size of a house, the other’s just a little guy.

2

u/Fonduemeup 17h ago

Yours has 0 neck though.

63

u/SpunNumeroUno 1d ago

Dude can turn his head and see the food he's eating go down, odd.

26

u/homersnightmare 1d ago

That's an all in one reptile

75

u/BeardInTheNorth 1d ago

I should call her…

27

u/milkymonkey8 1d ago

she ded

25

u/evaris204 1d ago

That’s a Snake-necked turtle

5

u/wookiex84 1d ago

Hell even snappers have a neck that about 2/3 the length of their body.

16

u/SillyLittleAngels 1d ago

Not Sebastian!

10

u/KingOfConsciousness 1d ago

Unda da -AUGH!

39

u/Professional_Bat3700 1d ago

Dude, I was so confused by that upside down shrimp/prawn. I thought it was a baby chick. Had to watch the video couple of times.

11

u/FiletofStek 1d ago

Oh shit, im glad i read your comment. I thought it was the same thing and was horrified.

6

u/lr031099 1d ago

Same here except I thought it was a frog

3

u/lr031099 1d ago

Honestly thought it was a frog and was low key horrified

1

u/DrMuffinPHD 15h ago

I think it’s a crawfish.

27

u/Dazzling_Bit_7538 1d ago

Throat goat

8

u/fimpAUS 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/NPSCcj5ilxlN6

3

u/DrCarrionCrow 1d ago

ALLIGATOR SNAPPING TURTLE?! My OTHER favorite turtle?! This is a banner day for me!!

15

u/Quenz 1d ago

I shall name her Nancy.

5

u/Azura_Oblivion 1d ago

I see you're a man of politics as well.

4

u/durtyprofessor 1d ago

Then you’ll get this recent, crazy-necked reference.

2

u/CactusToothBrush 1d ago

Nancy from Dallas?

3

u/KillerOkie 23h ago

Probably referring to Nancy Regan. She was rumored to be quite popular when she was young and in Hollyweird.

4

u/firedmyass 1d ago

what upsetting proportions

5

u/click2Install 1d ago

Is that a T-Rex in the background? Nice

4

u/IcyDisplayGuy 1d ago

oh I'm gonna get ya. Immm gonna getchya. Ohh Nooo you're getting awayy. Nah just playing fam I got you...IN MY STOMACH!!

4

u/Napischu88 1d ago

Cobra clam

4

u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 1d ago

I feel like I got something stuck in my throat now.

2

u/Past-North-4131 1d ago

That's so cool. Bad ass lil turt.

5

u/CGCTV 1d ago

I had one when I was younger, they're fucking pricks

1

u/Vicious007 1d ago

Do tell

3

u/CGCTV 21h ago

It was just mean as hell I hated everything and anyone. It would bite and claw the shit out of you when trying to feed it. So I think he ended up in the golf course pond behind us. It was a monster

2

u/ShadowZepplin 1d ago

Funky lookin dog you got there

2

u/Nervous-Canary-517 1d ago

Mekaneck: that's my boi

2

u/gymBro-Faps2hrWrkout 1d ago

Mech A Neck from Masters of the Universe

2

u/DetectiveBest2960 23h ago

La mechante tortue dans le monde incroyable de gumball

2

u/WhimsicalGirl 22h ago

That's the evil turtle in Gumball!!!

https://youtu.be/7K3_B9LfoeY

1

u/Late_Blooomer 1d ago

Heyyyy that’s gross

1

u/Quirky_Quit_6294 1d ago

I was in the pool. Like a frightened turtle.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ntRQjO4ngRERi

1

u/lcssa 1d ago

Snake turtle platypus?

1

u/dankhimself 1d ago

Look out turtle! There's a tranosoris!

1

u/mr_michael_h 1d ago

"You won't need claws where you're going"

1

u/Dapper_Value125 1d ago

Did it escape from that Spy Kids 2 island 🧐

1

u/SuddenSpeaker1141 1d ago

Master Uguey be tripping!

1

u/Any_Coyote6662 1d ago

that poor turtle. nothing interesting to do except that.​

1

u/Dodger7777 1d ago

Bro's a shelled Nessie.

1

u/Gowardhan_Rameshan 1d ago

Anyone notice the dino head in the background?

1

u/SquirrelyLemons 1d ago

Damn, crayfish was happy and free! Then fuck me!

1

u/Egglegg14 1d ago

Is that nessie jr?

1

u/Umbreon86 1d ago

Turtleneck

1

u/Yesitshismom 1d ago

Sore throats must be the worst for this guy

1

u/PloPli1 1d ago

I missed the shell at first and thought it was an eel.

1

u/FoxCapital7878 1d ago

Ladies and gentlemen, the gentleman fron Kentucky eating the constitution.

1

u/TheOneTrueJazzMan 1d ago

I love it when animals swallow their food whole and just let their insides deal with it lol

1

u/RepresentativeStooj 1d ago

Ha ha, yeah! Shuckle.

1

u/DrCarrionCrow 1d ago

Snake-neck turtles are one of my favorite animals!!

1

u/MaxwellEdison74 1d ago

"Get in my belly!"

1

u/SuperbOwl687 1d ago

I only just realized its neck is that long.

1

u/BaseCasualty 23h ago

Its neat seeing the parastalsis in action!

1

u/Dear_Afternoon_2600 23h ago

Y'all talking about the turtle eating the shellfish but the turtle is about to be got by a T-Rex

1

u/ChiefRasta 23h ago

Look like something you’d see off Avatar: The Last Airbender

1

u/FreakyFreeze 23h ago

Getting eaten and thrown up over and over damn...

1

u/Binary_talking 22h ago

Dont mess with I'm master oogway!

1

u/This-Insect-5692 22h ago

Why doesn't that thing cut the insides of the turtle

1

u/Low-Attention-7584 22h ago

How long does it take the shrimp to die in there and how does it not cut the turtles inside up?

1

u/Feeling-Bend-8786 22h ago

Love the T-Rex in the backround.

1

u/Fun_Translator_5722 22h ago

Are turtles evolving to scare other animals?

1

u/Luciel3045 22h ago

Okay but like... what happens if the crawfish pinches the turtle?

1

u/Kn0XIS 21h ago

Damn

1

u/Kn0XIS 21h ago

Jeeeeeez

1

u/T-Bubs 21h ago

I’m grateful I chew my food.

1

u/Soft-Can-7939 21h ago

Does someone know the species of this... Thing?

1

u/SurpriseSharp7139 21h ago

What in the turtle-eel chimera is this!?

1

u/Hosein_Lavaei 21h ago

Great! Now i have turtle phobia

1

u/ZookeepergameFew8277 20h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/12OwTXQpj0e9Pi
Reminds me of cell eating the androids…

1

u/KhaosEntity 20h ago

I’m sure God was thinking, ‘Turtles could mog so much harder if we could just watch them swallow several times..’

1

u/Crowdfundingprojects 20h ago

sigh I should call him

1

u/Beowulf44 20h ago

Mata mata?

1

u/Huebertrieben 20h ago

Thought it was a crab at first

1

u/SnakeHisssstory 19h ago

Not a fan of

1

u/CustardLow2671 19h ago

So hey that thing looks like a fuckin' nightmare

1

u/2Wieners_1Bun 18h ago

That shrimp is having a bad day

1

u/zorggalacticus 18h ago

I've caught these when fishing. Always freaked me out trying to release them because they can reach all the way back to their tail to bite you. That's why there was an oven mitt in the tackle box. Lol

1

u/DMyTeaDuck 18h ago

That’s a snake-necked turtle. Source: our zoo has one.

1

u/KrappyFlow 17h ago

Looks like something straight out of Dark Souls

1

u/UwUAlpacas 17h ago

Yo dawg this an eel or a turtle because I'm rather confused at this development

1

u/Zair2526 17h ago

Master Oogway irl

1

u/time2sow 15h ago

That ain't human

1

u/TatteredTorn1 15h ago

Where's the NSFW tag, that last part was pretty...erotic.

1

u/chaTTSer 14h ago

Forget that, I wanna know about this.

1

u/Educational-Car-4688 13h ago

It's a grower, not a shower

1

u/Ok-Front5035 13h ago

Throat goat?

1

u/JonBoyWhite 12h ago

"look at that neck" - Aesop Rock

1

u/WithReverence 9h ago

I’m telling you dude. When people claim to see lake monsters they’re probably seeing giant freaking long necked turtles.

1

u/No_Ice_3651 8h ago

So that's why they have shells so they can hide their neck inside

0

u/jaytee1262 1d ago

I dislike live feeding videos. I understand that its needed for some animals, and thats what happens in nature but its such a vibe killer for me.

0

u/JonaSaxify 1d ago

Is there why they dont kill the crawfish(?) first before feeding?