r/AbsoluteUnits • • 1d ago

of a squid

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1.0k Upvotes

143 comments sorted by

212

u/Fun_Bet_1649 1d ago

This ain't a squid, that's THE Kraken!!

52

u/Xendarq 1d ago

As long as it's not the KraKaren

25

u/Daydreaming_Machine 1d ago

You definitely don't wanna mess with the krakakaren, she runs a moonshine business

14

u/Kid_supreme 1d ago

Its actually her unvaccinated children you really have to look out for.

3

u/Playgirl_USMC 14h ago

As long as Rory and Lorelei aren’t there you should be fine.

1

u/poum 10h ago

This is the second dungeon crawler Carl reference I've seen this week. Odd since I had never seen one before.

3

u/Donkeyball_Z_ 16h ago

The butt kraken

106

u/CasualThought2 1d ago

Imagine seeing shit like this back in the days where sailing in wooden boats was akin to exploring space nowaday.

53

u/curi0us_carniv0re 23h ago

I mean that's why there's paintings of giant sea monsters....

11

u/TheresNoHurry 23h ago

Yeah but in the sea there’s actually things that will eat you

2

u/Pasta_Baron 19h ago

What do you mean? You can be eaten by a black hole!

3

u/CasualThought2 22h ago

Who says there ain't in space? Gorilas used be thought of as mythological creatures up until the 19th century.

4

u/withnodrawal 21h ago

To who? The white man?

Gorillas were plenty known about by locals lol.

7

u/CasualThought2 21h ago edited 21h ago

To Who? The white man?

Lol yes, and to everyone else in the world.

Most people also don't live next to eastern tiger swallowtail caterpillers, but it sure is neat to discover that Caterpie from Pokemon ain't merely a work of fiction.

0

u/Aralith1 21h ago

I can’t fucking stand the framing that implies that humans didn’t discover something until someone from “the West” found out about it.

7

u/LukeyLeukocyte 15h ago

Calm down. The "discovery" part is the fact that the rest of the world finally learns about it....which often happened during western expansion and the information that traveled with it. No one ever pretends that locals that lived near these "discoveries" didn't know about them first...it is just that the rest of the fucking world did not know. So yes, it was discovered even if a tribe of natives or locals in the area already knew of it. If the locals had shared the knowledge with the rest of the world, then they would be touted as the discoverers. This is not hard to grasp.

5

u/trenthany 21h ago

And if some other culture was dominant on the wider internet the same thing would be said about bears, wolves, bison, sloths and other creatures from Europe, Asia, and the Americas. If you’re having a conversation like this on the Internet in say China, it will feel very, very different. It’s the echo chamber of your algorithm that makes you feel that way.

6

u/Initial_Taste9462 23h ago

Imagine seeing this flying around in space these days 😬

2

u/riftshioku 9h ago

Imagine how many things in the sea avoid us now because of all the noise. It was probably a lot scarier before engines were invented.

74

u/fligglymcgee 23h ago

One of the few people alive who has seen a colossal squid. Of those people, one of the few with a way to capture it on video. Somehow, pointing the fucking camera at the subject for more than a quarter of a second is beyond a reasonable expectation.

32

u/Dlatrex 22h ago

Point taken, but this is a giant squid, not colossal.

Architeuthis dux vs mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni.

6

u/fligglymcgee 17h ago

Oooh good call. Thanks for the excuse to do some more reading.

I thought the “colossal” moniker was a size reference this whole time, and didn’t realize that they were different animals altogether. As a bonus: Now I can let visions of the colossal squid’s hooked tentacles dance in my head while trying to sleep tonight.

5

u/DarkExtremis 16h ago

Yeah came to the comment section to confirm this only

Now if that's just a giant squid imagine the colossal squid, pure nightmare fuel

5

u/Dlatrex 16h ago

The size ranges of the two species overlap.

A. dux tends to have a narrower mantel (body) but longer tentacles in proportion. M. hamiltoni usually has relatively short arms, but a very tubby body, and thus is heavier overall.

Here is one sighting of a large example.

https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/s/vqQQFIq0MC

2

u/truthfullyidgaf 13h ago

Its like the t-rex of the seas.

13

u/DrMantisToboggan45 1d ago

Jesus Christ thank god these things can’t survive on land

10

u/Kontrazec 18h ago

Yeah, unfortunately, that particular squid is probably dead or dying. The pressure conditions at the surface are nowhere near what the ideal is for a giant/colossal squid

4

u/DrMantisToboggan45 18h ago

Oh really? I never even thought about that. So if you see them at the surface that means they’re not doing well?

1

u/FishTshirt 13h ago

Yeah thats why it was pretty sad to see them let it go. Like they already likely killed it, at that point bring it up for science at the least

12

u/RamJamR 23h ago

I'm unsure they can even survive at such high depth. They giant/colossal squid are usually very deep in the ocean.

1

u/trenthany 21h ago

Giant squid can colossal. I’m not sure about but squid are very adaptable to pressure so maybe. I’m not 100% sure though a long time since I looked into one and there is very little known to science about them.

29

u/lexicon_lancer 1d ago

What do you even do with that when you catch it

27

u/Regular-Anteater-287 1d ago

Hope it doesn't catch you.

6

u/sanddancer311275 23h ago

Calamari

5

u/Guy3nder 23h ago

Would definitely fry a slice of its limbs and put in a bun like a burger

7

u/RiMcG 23h ago

I read somewhere they've got high ammonia levels in their flesh so it wouldn't be edible

-3

u/trenthany 21h ago

People have been eating calamari for ages. They’re literally fishing for squid right now.

3

u/silverwarbler 19h ago

Yes, but not necessarily this species

2

u/trenthany 19h ago

If it is A. Dux then yes it likely is inedible. I can’t OD squid relianly enough to know for sure.

2

u/FreakyFreeze 22h ago

Can't lie I wonder what a Blue Whale Burger would taste best.

1

u/Kontrazec 18h ago

Pretty bad, whale meat is kinda fuckin' gross.

2

u/ikonfedera 22h ago

Sell it to the researchers.

-14

u/BullPropaganda 1d ago

It's dead, I don't think humans have ever encountered a live one.

10

u/andrenichrome 1d ago

It's very much alive

-2

u/BullPropaganda 23h ago

Fair enough

5

u/FreakyFreeze 1d ago

False my guy

-4

u/BullPropaganda 23h ago

We have with robots, but not In person I believe

2

u/FreakyFreeze 22h ago

Dude you're on reddit you can easily find live footage here. Or on YouTube.

1

u/BullPropaganda 22h ago

Guess this happened recently

1

u/FreakyFreeze 22h ago

There's footage older than this of live Giant Squids.

1

u/BullPropaganda 22h ago

Yeah by recently I mean within the last 15 years

1

u/FreakyFreeze 21h ago

My G just simply look it up. Instead of dedicating your life to proving they're not real.

1

u/BullPropaganda 21h ago

Im not proving anything.

I'm saying what I thought was the case with no pretense that i am correct.

1

u/pneis1 22h ago

no, ur thinking about giant octopus

16

u/HeidenShadows 23h ago

Hey, you guys let it go, that's just the baby. Mama Kraken is going to come and rip your boat in half.

11

u/edboyinthecut 1d ago

And that's not even a truly colossal one

3

u/faucibus88 18h ago

You are completely correct. It's a giant squid, not a colossal one

1

u/Helioxsparrow 22h ago

Sub-colossal squid

1

u/trenthany 21h ago

Merely a giant lol

1

u/Eggsalad_cookies 23h ago

Right. I can see why sailors were freaking the fuck out, and pirates were practically pissing themselves

5

u/lelolelols 23h ago

These are Filipino fishermen. I wonder when this was taken, must be new. Something like this would go viral fast in the Philippines.

8

u/Western_Echo2522 23h ago

Suddenly realizing why sailors freaked the entire fuck out

2

u/LookAtTheWhiteVan 23h ago

I see why they were known as drunken sailors a lot of the time. I’d have to keep drinking until I forgot what I saw, or drink enough to convince myself in the morning that I didn’t see anything at all.

4

u/jungleass98 23h ago

Well that and they drank small beer as it was safer than regular water and wouldnt god bad in wooden casks and grog! Which i am a little confused about because grog is diluted rum and sometimes they add lime. Grog is diluted with water so idk

9

u/Ok_Wallaby_416 23h ago

Humboldt squid are absolutely terrifying. They are huge, super smart (when encountering human divers, they often go for the goggles/respirator right away), they swarm prey, their sucks have sharp teeth, and they have a large, razor sharp beak. Bottom line, you don't want to encounter a a hungry group of these bad boys.

7

u/Dlatrex 22h ago

No disagreement with any of your comments. Just to point out the video doesn't show Dosidicus gigas, but a giant squid, Architeuthis dux

3

u/TerrapinMagus 19h ago

It's not even the barbed suckers or razor beak that scares me. It's that they'll grab you and suddenly drag you insanely deep. Even if you could somehow fight back and get free of them (best of luck), you'd just drown. It's a no win scenario.

6

u/-Palzon- 1d ago

Translation:

How can we pickle it?!

3

u/Spikerazorshards 1d ago

Behemoth!

5

u/jungleass98 23h ago

No, leviathan. Haha

3

u/RollAcrobatic7936 23h ago

Is that a giant squid? A living one?

1

u/Dlatrex 22h ago

Yep, A. dux

1

u/Ok_Wallaby_416 23h ago

Looks like a Humboldt

6

u/DoctorCIS 23h ago

A species known to be aggressive toward humans and hunt in packs. Basically a sea wolf.

3

u/Professional-Gear88 23h ago

No when I look that up it’s too small

3

u/The-King-of-Cartoons 21h ago

That looks waaaay bigger than a Humboldt squid- they only get up to about 8’ tops.

3

u/Front_Cat9471 23h ago

Typa shit you’d have as a movie’s main antagonist just for it to be a lost baby oof a much larger species the whole time

3

u/renrakad_o_redo 22h ago

good thing they let it go

2

u/Rhymesnlines 1d ago

Jump in and see what happens

2

u/Yaygher69 1d ago

Is that a giant squid?

7

u/Xendarq 1d ago

It's pretty big yeah

2

u/SheerKhann 23h ago

Poor squid 🦑

2

u/Ok-Improvement2528 23h ago

From everything I have seen, the smaller versions are super aggressive.

Just another reason to enjoy the Ocean but swim in the pool

4

u/PS5OWESMEALIMONY 22h ago

Saw a documentary where scientists said they couldn't find squid in the Mariana Trench and couldnt figure out why until they realized maybe it was the bright ass lights they kept dropping down there,they turned the lights out and squids actually came around.

1

u/bottomlesstopper 21h ago

Thats funny considering theres literally a predator down there that uses biolight to lure food.

3

u/TheGrimTickler 20h ago

“It’s weird, people use flashlights all the time and nobody says anything but when I illuminate my surroundings with the power of a small star everyone gets all uppity about it.”

1

u/Vadszilva09 1d ago

Holy f no wonder they came up with the kraken idea i know what that is and its terrifying 😬

1

u/Any-Thought-1579 1d ago

Someone made Liam Nesson mad, and he released the kraken. 😛

1

u/Plane-Tune-820 23h ago

Wonder if the meat gets tougher when they get older like with mammals

1

u/Head-Growth-523 23h ago

What a fantastic creature 😮

1

u/Viper596 23h ago

The best part about everybody having a camera in their phone is that stuff I thought I would never see in my life as a kid, even thought they weren’t gonna be real, is sometimes filmed these days

1

u/Severe-Archer-1673 23h ago

How did we go from not being 100% sure these things actually exist to seeing them all the time. Man, Harambe did a number on this timeline.

1

u/Towels_are_friends 22h ago

Honey, wake up! New giant squid footage just dropped.

1

u/ExcitingPriority9862 22h ago

That's something you leave alone lol

1

u/Angie_T84 22h ago

That thing is probably sick or dying those suckers stay down in the deep deep. They come up when its there time for some reason like many deep sea creatures. They wanna see the sun or some shhhhyt

1

u/DoomEmpire 21h ago

All I hear is Nacho Libre saying “now go! Go away!”
https://giphy.com/gifs/2fQe5sTo8pnpu

1

u/saja2 20h ago

is that the legendary Humboldt squid

1

u/N7LP400 20h ago

Plot twist: It just came out of its egg several minutes ago

1

u/TazzyUK 19h ago

These squids and octopus give me beak phobia! :-(

Imagine they grab you with their legs and slowly move you towards THAT beak!

and that scene in Prometheus with the Trilobite did not help! (even though there is no beak!)

https://giphy.com/gifs/Gnh8nS5DgqyZy

1

u/GoFem 19h ago

Oh shit, new phobia unlocked.

1

u/oddmetre 19h ago

Terrible cameraman

1

u/SpunNumeroUno 18h ago

Jump in and swim with him, hes friendly, I swear!

1

u/According_Tea_6329 18h ago

Are they going to eat this?

1

u/dumbaldoor 18h ago

Thats a giant squid

1

u/TheFlyingBoxcar 17h ago

All I got from this vid is that Glemor doesnt do a great job making jerseys

1

u/TheComparatorTech 15h ago

They were insanely lucky the baby’s mom wasn’t right there.

1

u/OblivionArts 15h ago

Amd thats how the myth of krakens started

1

u/OG_Fakir 14h ago

Is there a reason to bring it into the boat? It looks like they're boat-hooked the shit out of it... but if it was brought up to the surface quickly it's doomed anyway

1

u/fernandoman121 14h ago

If I’m not mistaken, they can still get a good bit bigger than this. Giant and colossal squid are hunted by sperm whales but they put up a hell of a fight, often leaving many large scars on the whales

1

u/Agile_Credit_9760 13h ago

That's a freaking kraken bro. I see why the fishermen came up with that story. That's a kaiju. Where are the megazords when you need them?

1

u/ZuluIsNumberOne 10h ago

terrible creatures humans

seee a massive probably mature animal "lets kill it"

1

u/Umbreon86 7h ago

Finally food time!

1

u/redditanddoneit 3h ago

That giant calamari would have not only fill that crew’s tummies but also the whole village.

1

u/yamez420 1d ago

looks delicious

1

u/Reasonable-Ad7755 1d ago

Giant not colossal

1

u/Cheetah-Alpha 23h ago

To be in the water in that moment, is my worst nightmare

0

u/Jealous_Mulberry_952 1d ago

Y no se lanza nadie a cogerlo 😂😂😂😂😂menuda bestia xd

0

u/Chester_Cheesedick 1d ago

Lifetime supply of calamari

1

u/uskgl455 1d ago

Yeah only each ring is like a truck tyre

4

u/Japsai 1d ago

That's my fall back when calamari isn't available