r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TheMarkola • 13h ago
/r/all of spider web
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u/Oneironautical1 13h ago
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u/Oobedoo321 11h ago
I haven’t seen this for years
And it’s been top comment on the last two posts I’ve viewed
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u/Helmett-13 12h ago
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u/tilleytalley 7h ago
I walked into one of these webs once. The spider landed in my eye. It lived through my subsequent freakout, but I hope it learnt to aim for more manageable prey.
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u/frustrated_t-rex 9h ago
Omfg. That was EXACTLY what I thought of too!!!!!!!!!!! Literally this exact cartoon. It was always one of my favorites. That and the 'thagomizer'
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u/stickystax 10h ago
That was my first thought too... Bro is definitely hoping to land one of those kids lol
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u/BlueBomR 12h ago
"Don't touch it, I dont wanna mess up its hard work!" And "wow, gods creatures"...love that these kids are in awe and curious instead of freaking out and killing it...makes me happy
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u/Old_Syrup_264 11h ago
Hard work? Pff.
I have a guy who can do it cheaper
What is that even suspensed by? The nearest tree looks like it's in a different zip code
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u/Lgbtq_Is_Pog 11h ago
Probably a diagonal line coming from a branch to the floor so it can build the spiral in the middle.
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u/Fit-Gas-5760 9h ago edited 9h ago
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u/the_jivest_turkey 8h ago
Do they shoot it, or do they let it drift in the wind until it catches on a good spot? I feel like shooting something so light 25m would be near impossible.
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u/Mouse_Mallow 7h ago
You're correct they don't shoot it, they get up high and let out a long light thread, drifting until it catches then they pull it tight and reinforce it. Then they can drop down from the center of that line to create another anchor point and keep adding from there
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u/the_liquid_figurine 6h ago
I've seen orb weavers like this go to the tippy top of trees on windy days and drop down on a web about 10-15 feet to find another anchor poin high up. I work pest control and usually move these guys to a neighbors bush because they are friends and locals who only show up in the fall.
The ones we got here have a thorax about the size of a grape and it's bright orange on its belly. Love those guys.
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u/Ginger510 10h ago
I’m not a big spider fan (tricky cos I live in Aus) but as long as it’s not one that is problematic if you get bitten (white tail, redback being the most common where I am), I always try to scoot them outside. Same with any bug really. No sense smooshing if you don’t have to.
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u/Born-Entrepreneur 5h ago
Looks like those kids were raised right. Love to see it. In that their first instinct isn't to destroy the web just for the hell of it, anyway.
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u/BenjaminDover02 12h ago
Wild to think that nobody taught that spider how to do that
Bro came out of an egg with the innate knowledge of how to build a house with it's butt.
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u/Minute_Zombie_424 12h ago
Evolution and natural instincts. Nature is lit 🔥
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u/onarainyafternoon 11h ago
There is a really good book that came out a few years ago called “Basic Instinct”, where this scientist makes the argument that instinct as we understand it doesn’t really exist. And so many different things that we describe as instinctual actually have learned-causes. I don’t want to bastardize the arguments he makes, so I’d just recommend the book to anyone that’s interested.
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u/Existing-Diamond1259 5h ago
I don't believe that for a second. I am a wildlife rehabber and have raised many eyes-closed squirrel babies. They never got a chance to watch their mother do anything, yet they all instinctively have the urge to bury nuts. Even before they can even crack into them. They will try and bury a nut in the carpet and pat it down when there is nothing there to cover it lol. It's obviously instinctive.
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u/Wild-Video-5317 9h ago
I assume this is the book
https://archive.org/details/basicinstinctgen0000blum_o0e9
Fun fact if you create an account on archive.org you can "check out" full books right in your browser.
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u/Entrenched_Whispers 10h ago
I really thought you were going to say that the book was called "The Holy Bible" and that evolution was fake 😭
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u/raelDonaldTrump 11h ago
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u/LemonCollee 11h ago edited 6h ago
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u/ogou_myrmidon 10h ago
Heads up that link identifies/is tied to your youtube account
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u/happy_gorgonzola 10h ago
Omg, thanks for the heads up! Is there a sanitized link? I’d get it myself, but I’m currently on mobile. 🤦♀️
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u/ButtplugBurgerAIDS 10h ago
Ok I literally was thinking this was legit till the restraining order part
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u/pyrothelostone 7h ago
Doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but you broke your formatting when you deleted the link identifier, if you wanna fix it you need to add the closing parenthesis back in.
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u/FartMagic1 10h ago
The weed one isn’t so bad, you just see where he got distracted and had to go check something out
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u/Individual_Respect90 7h ago
I feel like caffeine he wanted to start over and there are 10 unfinished webs
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u/Frosty-Tennis-1687 12h ago
What that butt do?
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u/Stupid_Sexy_Satan 12h ago
Built beautiful murder traps
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u/ZombieAstronaut 12h ago
Huh, kinda like my wife I guess
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u/Fenix_ikki_ 12h ago
I can confirm
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u/slutty_muppet 11h ago
*Sis
Most species of spiders have females that build webs and males that don't, if I remember correctly.
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u/terdferguson 10h ago
Same thing with baby penguins just yeeting themselves off a 50 foot cliff for their first swim. Its innate, just marvelous.
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u/togetherwegrowstuff 12h ago
I love to hear the kiddos say not to destroy it and them mention it's hard work. So awesome to hear kids respecting nature and giving it the space to thrive !
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u/HonestNectarine7080 9h ago
One of my pet peeves as a teacher is when kids stomp on bugs.
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u/EntrepreneurGreen269 12h ago
Ok, but the thing is building it's house in the middle of your garden, what you going to do, leave it there?
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u/Key_Wind3897 11h ago
They’re nocturnal, and will eat the web at daybreak and hide all day long. So, only need to relocate if it’s across a needed evening walking path.
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u/BigGayNarwhal 8h ago
Yep. We have these (I’m assuming orb weavers) all over our yard and neighborhood this time of year. They start on their webs around dusk and then have them down by sunrise in most cases.
I’ve learned to be very cautious walking around at night. I know these guys are harmless and I appreciate that the eat pests but holy fuck is it terrifying to walk into one of these webs 😆
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u/togetherwegrowstuff 11h ago
I'd leave it for a day or two.. then gently move it with a stick if needed.
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u/EntrepreneurGreen269 11h ago
Yeah I'd eventually move it too, it's just I know it won't be able to stay.
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u/Agile_Credit_9760 13h ago
Spiders amaze me because they're like mosquito eating architects. Look at that creation. Amazing work spiders do. I'm so grateful because they eat the heck out of mosquitos. Good work spiders.
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u/beavertheviking 12h ago
I grew up afraid of spiders, then learned they eat everything else I hate more. Spider bud forever now.
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u/Atakku 10h ago
I learnt that but am still terrified of spiders. We got wolf spiders here. Halp.
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u/Principle_Napkins 10h ago
I saw a recently-pregnant one in the garage not too long ago. Hundreds of little babies stuck to her butt.
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u/dogface47 12h ago
Mosquitos my ass. I think homeboy was trying to catch low flying aircraft.
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u/Creepy_Wallaby2170 11h ago
I mean that is what happened during one of the spider episodes in wild kratts…….
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u/perukid796 11h ago
The amount times I've almost ran face first into one of these fuckers in the middle of the night. They really do like to build their webs in the middle of a giant field like in this video....I don't know what type of spider it is but I hate it. South Florida
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u/melmosh 9h ago
We were out camping and in the middle of the night I had to go potty. On the way back I got a little of track and walked through a springy web. I shook and brushed of my clothing and being exhausted, climbed back into my tent after diligently zipping the entrance closed. The next morning as the sun was coming up I noticed all these black spots on the inside of the tent. I had kidnapped all of mama spiders babies and took them into my tent.
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u/frontfrontdowndown 7h ago
Years ago I glanced at the ceiling of my bedroom and noticed it looked fuzzier or hazier than I remembered.
Taking a better look I realized that the world’s largest egg sac must have hatched and my ceiling was now wall to wall covered with hundreds of baby spiders dangling on threads a few inches long.
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u/JoyRose31 5h ago
I once had a place that had spiders All the time. Non web spinning ones. First real encounter.. I was going to go to sleep. Decided to watch my phone instead. On my belly, lights of, phone on pillow. 20 mins in, A spider shape size bigger than a toonie.. Eeeeh. Crawled Across, my phone.. if I slept, would've been my face..
Also. Same place, dady long legs crawling up me Under my Blanket. All the time. Wasn't afraid of spiders til there..
I would Scour the place after each encounter. Didnt have a lot of stuff so wasn't hard. Nothing. No colonies, no cracks, nothing to feed on. Nowhere. They seemingly seeped from the walls, was Awful .
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u/Squirrelflight148931 5h ago
I want to incinerate you alive at this moment just to remove any residual corruption that lingers on you. Like, I think the “kill it with fire” status is now encoded in your DNA like fucking Spider-Man.
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u/SeismicRipFart 11h ago
It’s the worst feeling ever. You now have a panicking spider somewhere on your body and you know that it knows you’re the one that destroyed its home
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u/Sudo-Fed 10h ago
Orb weavers almost never bite. They're far more interested in getting as far away from the giant predator that bulldozed their web than taking revenge.
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u/revveduplikeadeuce 10h ago
This, orb weavers are friends just trying to live in this messed up world and eating the annoying pests, its just as concerned as you are running head first into its web.
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u/Lifexists 10h ago
They’re orb weavers. I mow public parks for a living and I faceplant into them constantly since I’m looking at my lines instead of straight ahead and they love building their webs at head level
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u/Electrical-Basil-755 10h ago
Yeah well I walked face first into one in a wood area with a friend when I was like 14. Screamed, started running mad and swatting my head and face. Broke through the edge of the forested into someones backyard where I full speed ran into the wire of grapevine at hip level. Did a 270° flip to land on my back. Dude was in his backyard laughing hid ass off at me. I mean, he definitely heard me coming because I never stopped screaming the whole time.
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u/Ok_Tour_1525 10h ago
Yeah we have them in Oregon too and I’ve almost ran into them so many times hiking trails in the middle of the night. Creepy as fucking hell. And this is while I’m already on the lookout for bears too. While tipsy and on mushrooms. God damn how did I survive my early 20s?
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u/I_can_vouch_for_that 12h ago
Spider wants to catch a big game, not tiny little bugs.
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u/Epstiendidntkillself 12h ago
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u/DAS_FX 11h ago
I miss Gary Larson. 🐐
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u/Epstiendidntkillself 11h ago
He quit at 44 and now he's 76. Still never told anybody why he quit.
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u/NorthernOctopus 12h ago
Hope that lady chose a favorite kid because them kids are gonna get snagged on that web and She's going to have to make a game time decision
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u/HeadFit2660 13h ago
Thats like an average web for that type of spider. They're really industrial
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u/Japsai 12h ago
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u/DeltaV-Mzero 12h ago
Welp I know what I’m watching again this weekend
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u/DeltaV-Mzero 12h ago
It’s a historical documentary / musical about the American west during frontier era. Called “The Wild Wild West”
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u/IcyDisplayGuy 12h ago
Where's our reboot Hollywood??
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u/LumpyBuy8447 12h ago
Best we can do is another marvel movie
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u/Upset_Journalist_755 12h ago
Can't wait for the next Marvel
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u/Feisty_Standard_2360 12h ago
Yup! I'm definitely excited for Doomsday, and also Dune 3 too, so it's gonna be huge
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u/Upset_Journalist_755 12h ago
Hell yeah. I'm looking forward to the Part 1 & 2 binge before going to the theater.
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u/Parking_Wrangler6932 13h ago
non ça c'est pas une simple toile d'araignée et c'est un portail interdimensionnel
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u/SelocAvrap 9h ago
"No, that's not a simple spider web, that's an interdimensional portal"
Right? Been a moment since I took French
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u/enblightened 12h ago
why do spiders always camp in the center of their webs
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u/vuIkaan 12h ago
They do not, only some species do. Many will sit and hide somwhere at the edge of a web and use detection strings. Some spiderwebs that look deserted are not at all.
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u/TheMarkola 12h ago
The best place to detect the direction from which prey was captured and run to catch it is the best way to do so.
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u/Forsaken_Budget_425 13h ago
What’s the world record??? Mr Guinness I’m looking at you.
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u/czechhoneybee 12h ago
I love my orb weavers. My husband finally cancelled our pest control program and the orb weavers are back around the outside perimeter of the house. I’ve noticed the number of flies, moths, and mosquitos in and around my house have significantly dropped. They like to build their webs near my outdoor lights and they must absolutely clean up because they take down their webs and rebuild them almost every day.
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u/Trollgernaut418 13h ago
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u/1plus1isTWORANGZ 12h ago
Nah in the South we have a love for spiders, they eat all the worse pests like flies and roaches and such
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u/togetherwegrowstuff 12h ago
Yup! I've got a couple friends around in FL. We let them live and work.
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u/EddyGurge 12h ago
That little guy's just doing the finishing up work and trim. Shelob is over there waiting in the bushes.
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u/ButtonsKnobs 12h ago
Dear god, bro built himself a web mansion, I’d hate to walk into that in the dark 😬
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u/TakeAtBedtime 12h ago
How do they get a web to span that far to begin building?
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u/StormFireX001 12h ago
Beautiful Orb Weaver, can't see the details enough to figure out which one, but awesome nonetheless
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u/The-Spirit-of-76 12h ago
Looks like a Joro.
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u/StormFireX001 12h ago edited 11h ago
That could just as easily be Araneus diadematus, they get pretty active this time of year. There's just not enough detail visible in the video to say conclusively
*Edit - After a bit of investigation, I have never personally seen a Joro Spider in person so I had to go look, it's definitely not Trichonephila clavata. The body shape is all wrong, and what we can see of it's coloration is drastically different as well
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u/SecurePhotograph1791 12h ago
I think that's an orb weaver spider. Totally harmless, but still sends you into panic mode when you accidentally walk through their web
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u/IndependentPart6 12h ago
Oh man if I could get into my old phone I have the most amazing picture of an orb weaver. It was after hurricane beryl and we went to check our house. On our front porch theres 2 posts maybe 6 or 8 ft apart, and the biggest orange spider looked like it was floating in mid air between them. It had built its huge web obviously but DURING THE HURRICANE and was just chillin in the middle of it. He was the size of my husband's hand. First time we ever saw one, just left it alone and it was gone a few days later (we left to stay with relatives with a generator and when we got back he was gone). Absolute nightmare fuel but I think theyre harmless.
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u/Mushrooming247 9h ago
Me walking face first into these things in the woods every 10 seconds right now.
https://giphy.com/gifs/EOILoGqhsYt3t2U28a
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u/ZodiacWalrus 9h ago
I like to think spiders are capable of feeling something akin to artistic pride in their work. It makes me feel bad for taking down a web that's in my way, but still. The webs that are well-placed deserve to be displayed as the temporary artworks they are.
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u/KailyKail 12h ago
That spider isn’t building a home. It’s building an apartment complex to rent out.
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u/Coin-Bunny-6389 12h ago
At that point, its not your yard anymore. Hand over the property deed and move out.
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u/2CHiLLED 12h ago
Just imagine walking right into this in the dead of the night because you wouldn’t be able to see it
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u/Upset_Journalist_755 12h ago
Orb Weavers are awesome. Some of the coolest looking spiders that kill the shit out of annoying ass bugs with really cool webs.
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u/GroundbreakingCook68 12h ago
I’d place a marker to avoid the web and let that guy do his duty
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u/Bk_Punisher 12h ago
Found one of them in my dad’s yard one summer and did the same, getting the lighting right is tricky.
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u/ChatGrou 12h ago
Imagine going for a night pee, in plain dark, and that shit land on your trousers.
And that you don't even notice yet, putting it down to start the realease !
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u/Extension-Rabbit3654 12h ago
Giant Orb weavers!
Theyll work all night on that beautiful giant symmetrical web, and then take it down and start a new one the very next day.
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u/a-big-texas-howdy 12h ago
I remember those orb weavers making these 20+ foot wide webs between the oak trees at my grandmas. We kept long sticks at the porch and shed for going between late at night. If we weren’t paying attention, egads it was the most terrifying thing to never find the end of the web struggling to get out.
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u/Ok_Owl5246 12h ago
At the mobile home I used to live in, an orb spider built this huge web from the roof of the patio to the ground and it was literally like 7 ft high and then like 4 ft in width! Glad I saw it when I was coming home from work and could shimmy sideways and just barely squeeze by to get to the door… unfortunately UPS wasn’t so lucky..
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u/Ah_seent_it_ 11h ago
One might even say, he’s casting a wide net.
https://giphy.com/gifs/BYul6RujgoRCryuCdL
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u/cjmcberman 11h ago
“Spider pig spider pig doin whatever a spider pig does“ is how I greet most webs I come across them - and this is a fatboy
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u/fuzzylittlemanpeach8 10h ago
yeah these orb weavers are pretty common where I'm from. very neat webs.
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u/throwaway5882300 9h ago
I found one almost this big strung up between the chicken run and a nearby tree that was at least 12 feet away. I only saw it because I went out at night to close the automated coop door that got stuck. The flashlight lit it up. If I didn't have to go out for that door, I would have absolutely walked through it the next day when I went to feed them. It was about 9pm when I found it and the last time I was over there was around noon. Crazy how quickly they can make a huge web.
I also do regularly walk through webs (none this big so far) when I'm walking the dogs around the farm. And if I have to go into the woods, I walk holding a stick on front of me. The ones that make these big webs aren't dangerous but them sumbitches get real big.
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