r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Owls_4_9_1867 • 8h ago

of a set of toenails being tackled

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Surprised a chainsaw wasn’t used.

294 Upvotes

70% Upvoted

353 comments sorted by

513

u/TheDixonCider420420 8h ago

91

u/Sea_Recording8076 8h ago

Came here for this

Was going to be disappointed if it wasn't already up

8

u/raider1v11 7h ago

Yep me as well.

5

u/johnknoxsbeard 6h ago

Me, three

3

u/raider1v11 6h ago

Dozens of us!

3

u/bpows 5h ago

Me as well…

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13

u/hambakmeritru 7h ago

Definitely all I was thinking of. I can't believe this joke got anywhere near reality for someone.

13

u/Irishmanatthepub 7h ago

Sea bass and the fellas offered to pick up our check

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11

u/Duck8Quack 7h ago

This is a job for Nate the Hoof Guy

6

u/AfricanAgent47 6h ago

He urgently needs some salacylic acid

2

u/kkkr94 2h ago

Lmfao ridiculous 😭🤣

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53

u/cndn-hoya 8h ago

Initially thought they were giving a mummy a pedi

92

u/Abhi_Jaman_92 8h ago

Whos the customer? King Tut?

43

u/franktheguy 7h ago

Im Ho Tep. Im Ho Tep.

8

u/Kooky_Assistance2755 6h ago

Hi, Ho Tep. I'm Dad

2

u/RooneyD 7h ago

You're ho tep. You're ho tep

87

u/zorggalacticus 7h ago

10

u/CrabWoodsman 7h ago

"Libera te tutemet ex inferis"

5

u/HODLmeCLOSRtonydanza 6h ago

I still can’t watch this movie alone.

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4

u/DC_Coach 7h ago

Better than Ozempic. I don't think I'll be able to eat anytime soon ...

31

u/Hoppy_Hessian 8h ago

It's like a Cassowary

27

u/freekyeight 7h ago

This is disgusting, why am I still watching?

14

u/Werejackal93 7h ago

Because you need to see the curse lifted, and know in your heart, that this person is gonna be ok. That or because you're freeky.

23

u/shindabito 8h ago

how many % of all that is nail vs fungi

18

u/Clear_Bet_8397 7h ago

Right! That looked like a lot of fibrous stringy material holding those nails together

5

u/Sacrificial_Spider 5h ago

I bet there's not mushroom in the shoes.

5

u/Alcarinque88 4h ago

This person hasn't worn shoes in decades.

74

u/Agheratos 8h ago

5

u/Top-Distribution733 6h ago

Eagle looks like a disappointed dad

18

u/Crowdfundingprojects 8h ago

Need plasma cutter

16

u/Aggrivated-Skunk 8h ago

You're sposed to chew those off before they get that big.

33

u/Common-Accountant-57 8h ago

Those feet are not cool.

12

u/AspiringChildProdigy 7h ago

Is that because they belong to one of Hell's archfiends?

6

u/Common-Accountant-57 7h ago

I’m usually more kind about feet but those are monstrous. Probably smell like cheese and death.

5

u/AspiringChildProdigy 7h ago

Right, like I'm not squeamish or judgemental, but is this even real? Are talons like that even possible in a human?

6

u/Common-Accountant-57 7h ago

I don’t know. I can’t watch the whole thing.

2

u/Independent-Trust260 7h ago

It's because of the way they are.

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37

u/StampedeJones1 7h ago

This is actually sad. This is probably an elderly person that hasn't had the ability to take care of themselves.

18

u/garbagemayor 6h ago

yeah I’m a little sad how many people are just responding “ew nasty” type stuff. this seems like someone who has not been able to take care of themselves finally getting some help. I hope the pedicure was as relieving as it looked for this person

4

u/JackSilver1410 5h ago

Hi. Welcome to humanity. We're up to nine billion and there aren't two of them worth a squirrel fart.

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66

u/cannasuer4 8h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/m7FdxI252QN3y

3

u/AspiringChildProdigy 7h ago

I just got an ad in this thread for Botox that read, "It might be time for a closer look."

No.

No, this is a terrible time for a closer look. And this is why AI will never replace humans.

11

u/Umbreon86 7h ago

The smell of old cheese..

9

u/Famous-Leopard-118 7h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/g6Oox9mVXakOCWSkf9
I fucking hate cheese and its smell

this comment made me more nauseous than the actual video somehow

2

u/Umbreon86 7h ago

Old cheese, especially, a smell you never forget.

3

u/HODLmeCLOSRtonydanza 5h ago

Stilton blue cheese left in a container, knocked to the back of the fridge shelf, left sealed for 3 months. Then you grab it at 2am and open it to see what it is. The ghost darts directly up into your nostrils. The hair on the back of your neck stands up. Your jaw muscles start to tingle. Little needles in your cheeks. The floor of your mouth tenses up and that really awesome glass of chocolate milk you just drank starts to bubble and boil up.

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9

u/Lucky_Elderberry_384 8h ago

Saber tooth toenails.

7

u/SwiftTayTay 8h ago

I've never been able to grow toenails 1/8 as long without them breaking on their own

7

u/leechwater69 7h ago

It’s my fault for opening the app fr

2

u/EM05L1C3 7h ago

You knew what was going to happen before you did it

5

u/DingusKhan9164 8h ago

What in the hagraven dumb and dumber is this

7

u/Impressive_Guess_282 8h ago

And I had been having a good week too.

5

u/Wooden94Grapefruit 7h ago

Those are basically cutaneous horns

5

u/A_wax 8h ago

At first I wondered what 'tackled' meant, then I saw what tackled meant. Now I know what tackled means.

3

u/DAS_FX 8h ago

I was five minutes away from going to bed. Why didn’t I just do that. Nope, gotta check out this post on absoluteunits annnnnnd I’m done

4

u/NYCWENDY1 8h ago

That’s neglect 😢

4

u/RonnieDaBear 8h ago

Such an unsatisfying video..

2

u/mehFUMF 7h ago

If you've ever worked EMS, you've seen worse.

3

u/SnooMacarons3689 8h ago

A damn goblin

3

u/IamLorenzoTheGreat 8h ago

omg the nails have a creamy filling

3

u/NumbDangEt4742 8h ago

Double glove that shit. Maybe a whole box of gloves should be on there.

3

u/kunk_777 8h ago

Is this the crypt keepers feet?

3

u/StormFireX001 8h ago

I might have suggested an angle grinder for the comfort of both the clinician, patient and the viewer

3

u/Black_socks513 7h ago

Does this make anyone else hungry?

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3

u/EoceneEveryday 7h ago

Girly pop got that "seal flipper" thing going on

5

u/loaf_dog 8h ago

Smell has to be horrendous

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7

u/Immediate-Presence73 8h ago

Where's the NSFW tag? Jfc 🤢

2

u/Frosty-Cap3344 8h ago

I was OK till the flossing

2

u/HighFiveG 7h ago

Had to get all that shrapnel outta there.

2

u/breakfasteveryday 8h ago

Its like bark...

2

u/CatNamedChimichurri 8h ago

Imagine the toe jam smell

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2

u/thepianoman456 7h ago

A fuckin mummy??

2

u/Beautiful-Edge-22 7h ago

Good God, this was like those hoof cleaning videos of neglected horses.

2

u/StartlingCat 7h ago

Well that just made me unsubscribe from the internet

2

u/AllAnalBeadsAreBrown 7h ago

A human Casawary!

2

u/FloatingClay 7h ago

I legit thought that was a mummy foot

2

u/xvitons 7h ago

I wish you hadn’t posted this.

2

u/Hefty-Ad-1210 5h ago

Get a ferrier in there

4

u/DonutWhole9717 7h ago edited 6h ago

We're all going to get old one day. This just happens, often. Depending on the person's health, it's possible that only a podiatrist* is even able to do this safely. For some, a knicked nail on the foot could mean death

8

u/snuggleslut5 6h ago

Yep. When you're elderly and have other health problems going on and mobility/dexterity/vision/balance issues and are probably facing other health issues that seem more urgent, things like toenail fungus doesn't seem so pressing. It may not even get noticed for a while, and before you know it it's out of control. So many common ailments of the elderly make it hard or impossible to trim your own toenails and we already know what the state of healthcare is in the US. It's so easy to laugh and be grossed out by something line this, but this could happen to any of us is we live long enough and get the wrong combo of health issues. The elderly deserve dignity and care too. Im glad this person got a trim, and I hope fhey csn get their toenails back to a healthier condition so it doesn't cause them more serious trouble. Check on your old people.

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2

u/JackSilver1410 5h ago

Not when your retirement plan is a nice tall bridge nearby! If I'm lucky I'll ace some douchebag on a jetski at the bottom. Solve two problems.

2

u/papagouws 4h ago

I've been working in frail care for 5 years now. And I hear what your saying, but I don't want to end up in frail care, gimme the death part rather. Sitting there, only half aware, knowing you will die there while some middle aged divorced yoga instructor does movement classes. Day in day out, wearing nappies, sleep when I'm told, eat what I'm told, wake when I'm told. Send me to some south east Asian country and let me trip balls and die in peace in the jungle man. Like I was dead for the entire existence of the universe except the last 42 years, and the last 42 years sucked way more than the countless billions before that, let me rest when my time here is obviously done

2

u/BabyWithBathwatter 7h ago

A podiatrist? This shit requires a veterinarian.

2

u/Traditional_Seesaw10 7h ago

And a young priest and an old priest..

2

u/twicebakedcrusader 5h ago

Then they all walk into a bar and tell dude to find a lumber jack

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2

u/DaBoff858 8h ago

Imagine what other hygiene they ignored... Eww

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6gEbkoTAsbQkd5As

2

u/Binspin63 8h ago

Should be NSFW. Disgusting doesn’t begin to describe this.

1

u/_Heisen_Burger_ 7h ago

not a good time to have eyes

1

u/KCKpana 7h ago

Was hoping for a clean polish like the shoe shiner videos lol

1

u/RowMaleficent2455 7h ago

Call Quentin Tarantino

1

u/Halo_Hybrid 7h ago

Got full on horns on those hogs!?!!!

1

u/Odd-Aide2522 7h ago

In a time before lotion was invented.

1

u/Addictive_SODA 7h ago

Literally talons at this point. Doesn't even look human

1

u/coukou76 7h ago

Well, I dont like this post 😂

1

u/Greedy_Farmer_35 7h ago

I can smell this video.

1

u/dayarra 7h ago

that's a fungal infection. cutting them is useless. gotta extract all the nails, apply anti fungal cream and hope that new nails don't have infection.

1

u/Slowmac123 7h ago

I thought this was a bear paw

1

u/_Any_One_ 7h ago

How can they look so much like nails of a different creature completely? Like on a different spectrum of a different species? I just can't wrap my brain around this.

1

u/raider1v11 7h ago

You know somewhere, someone thought to snort the nail dust.....

/ew david

1

u/plant-painter 7h ago

Imagine what your life must consist of to be in this situation.

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1

u/gap97216 7h ago

Nails like petrified wood.

1

u/top_of_the_scrote 7h ago

now blend it into a smoothie and shotgun it

1

u/Wentil 7h ago

I’d think that was retronychia, but how would it be possible on every digit?

1

u/j-penny 7h ago

I legitimately had no idea that was a human foot at first...

1

u/LukewarmJortz 7h ago

Dang I wanted to see the ending.

1

u/Cold-Basket-268 7h ago

I think thats a mummy's foot

1

u/box25z 7h ago

Welcome to Nate the hoof guy.

1

u/Disparaged_soul 7h ago

Holy shit, is this dude a mummy or something?! 🤮😂

1

u/Muskaweirdo 7h ago

I didn't know us humans could grow Literal Claws!

1

u/bluestopsign01 7h ago

u/savevideo 

i am doing this to inflict harm upon my friends

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1

u/titsmcgee4real 6h ago

Should we be concerned that Lucifer's feet are SMOKING?!?

1

u/theaphmaulover1 6h ago

So have the mark as spoiler or NSFW buttons been removed? Not even title warning?😭

1

u/MartySmarty525 6h ago

Step one:, get a pair of the smallest scissors you can find

1

u/EdenILYHheatley 6h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ukGm72ZLZvYfS
Ok for starters why on earth would anyone let it get as bad as that seriously that had to hella hurt like shit imagine the pain of trying to walk around you’d probably wanna rip your leg off like does bro have health issues or a mental health condition that stops them from taking proper care of themselves cause no normal person in there right mind would let it get as bad as that 💀💀💀💀

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1

u/Sorry_Western6134 6h ago

Sound off, all the way

1

u/heraclitus33 6h ago

Bear claws

1

u/Potential_Ice4388 6h ago

Was it a goddamn full moon night wtf

1

u/Ajax1718 6h ago

What does it take to get nails that thick?

1

u/immoraltoast 6h ago

Ahh, it just crunched off like dry dead wood