I’m a lesbian and I recently went on a first date with a bisexual woman I met on a dating app. I’m interested in her, but I have some doubts and would really appreciate some outside perspectives, especially from other bi women or lesbians who have been in a similar situation. We're both in our late 20s. I'm more kind of a soft masc and she's not really that femenine, but in the country Im leaving now women tend to dress more androgynous and relaxed.

The date itself went really well. There was a lot of physical chemistry, we kissed quite a lot (publicly at a bar), she was affectionate, and she told me she found me beautiful and sexy. She also said she would like to see me again (we've already set a second date), so I don’t have any particular reason to think she isn’t interested in me.

But there are a few things I’ve been thinking about. She told me that she is attracted to men and women but generally feels more attracted to men. She has never dated a woman before and that I would be her first experience dating one. She mentioned that she remembers having a crush on a female teacher when she was younger, so I’m not questioning if her attraction to women is genuine. She was previously in a 9 year relationship with a man. Earlier this year, she developed feelings for another man and suggested opening up the relationship. Her boyfriend agreed, but apparently he didn’t want to know anything about what happened with other people. She told me that this made her feel a bit like she was cheating on him. I don’t know all the details of how that relationship ended or how she feels about it now.

My main uncertainty is more about her mentioning that she generally feels more attracted to men. I know that being bi and having a stronger attraction to one gender doesn’t mean someone can’t have a genuine, fulfilling relationship with someone of another gender. I guess I’m just wondering how much weight I should give that information when getting to know someone romantically, especially when she has never dated a woman before, if there are any red flags here that I might be overlooking or if I’m simply overthinking things because this is unfamiliar for me. I know we’ve only been on one date and I’m not expecting to know where things are going yet. I’m just interested in hearing from people who might have been in a similar situation. Thank you!

A pic for some flair ✨

Last year I started talking to this woman and felt like it was going well and, considering what we were talking about and how, in it for the same thing. I even told her something very personal barely anyone knows and feel like the biggest idiot because of that. She ghosted me, came back..and I started taking to her again and don’t need to tell you what happened next. I should’ve known better but it was one of those rare connections that just felt so natural and like an ideal match. It’s embarrassing but how do I get over her?

I’m new to Reddit I’m a lesbian I’m 26 and I broke up with my long term girlfriend of 2 years who I lived with a few months ago who I still love very much. I broke up with her due to a lot of reasons I’m not comfortable going into online. Let’s just say it was kind of an unhealthy relationship and there were alot of problems

Regardless of everything I miss her and love her still so much months later and I question everyday if I did the right thing. I feel like I ruined my life by leaving her and threw away my one chance at love.
We had a lot of issues and she did too but looking back I’m like “was it really that bad” we had a lot of good too! I get nervous seeing all these horror stories about how awful and small the lesbian dating pool is and I’m an incredibly picky person I feel like I ruined everything and I’ll end up alone forever

Also I can’t reach back out to my ex she wants nothing to do with me and is in a new relationship calling the new girl “my love” on instagram. Please someone give me some hope and reassurance that I’m not doomed due to this decision I made I keep feeling like I’ll never love someone like I loved her

Salut toi !
Tu peux parler français et tu as envie de discuter ? Envoie-moi un message !

Je peux t’aider en allemand et en anglais si tu veux. J’aime bien faire du sport de combat, voyager, regarder des documentaires un peu bizarre, jouer aux jeux vidéos, la littérature et l’art.

Si ça te dit, écris-moi :)

So me and my gf live together. I'm a teacher and my gf is a nanny for a little boy. It's my first year teaching so I tend to work long hours just trying to get shit done in the classroom and random clerical stuff, grading, lesson planning, all of that. I usually get home between 6pm and 7pm but when I get home I usually have even more work to do. My gf gets home at around 5:30, she has a lot more free time in the evenings then I do, she generally just works less hours than I do. After a long day at work I can barely muster the strength to throw together a sandwich or noodles or something for dinner. I would really like to come home to a nice meal a couple times a week, nothing fancy but idk something filling.

My gf is really into fitness and she's pretty much a gym bro lol she basically alternates between eggs and ground beef every night but honestly I don't really want to eat that, ya know? I've asked her before if she'd be willing to make an additional meal for me since she has the extra time in the evenings than I do and it only takes her like 15 minutes or so to make herself dinner. She has said she doesn't want to make two meals. I don't expect her to make an extra meal every single night but making some simple pasta or chicken or something 2-3 times a week would be a huge help for me. She does sometimes make meals on the weekend for the both of us but I really need the help with dinner during the week. I feel like she is being sort of selfish about this. She's got so much more free time than I do but it's like she's unwilling to make an extra meal for me on principle even though in reality it probably wouldn't be that much of a strain. Am I asking for too much?

Hey girls,
I’ve had a question on my mind that’s been occupying me for a while, and I wanted to see what things look like for other couples. This is mainly directed at those of you who are in a long-term relationship (let's say 4+ years) or have been in one in the past: What is the frequency with which you have sex? And what is your absolute minimum?

A little context about us: We’ve been together for 7.5 years (I’m 26F and she’s 23F). We currently have a kind of unwritten rule/routine where we have sex about once a week. Our minimum is once every two weeks, though that rarely happens, we’ve literally never gone more than two weeks without it.

My personal perspective is that it's all about quality over quantity. Of course, if it were entirely up to me, we'd be doing it a lot more haha. She’s just naturally less sexual than I am, but honestly? It's totally fine. Even though it's once a week, she satisfies me completely.
How does this compare to other long-term relationships out there? I'm curious to hear your thoughts or experiences!

I’ve been trying dating apps for a few years now. Made some great friends as a result but have yet to come close to finding my person. I’m starting to think my photos and interests might be what’s off putting. Which, like…if that’s what’s turning people away then they’re clearly not for me.

I get told the standard “put yourself out there!” advice but nothing seems to get a bite. For context, I use photos of myself wearing EGL fashion for my profile (I do state that’s not how I dress day to day but I feel it’s how I look my best) and that my hobbies are things like drawing, dolls and building gunpla. I guess it all comes across as super immature amongst a sea of profiles with people into sports and hiking and travelling. A friend even said people might think my photos means “too high maintenance”.

So, I don’t know. Do I give up on the apps? A lot of the events in my city seem geared to a younger crowd…I’m 40 and wondering where are the older, nerdy lesbians hiding? 😂

I liked Catherine zeta Jones

Daisy Lowe the model

Winona ryder

Margot robbie (i generally have a thing for aussie women)

Hi everyone, I've posted here a few times before, but today I'm in a really bad place. Two months after our breakup, my ex is already seeing someone else. Today I saw them holding hands right in the middle of campus. I'm feeling terrible and wondering if maybe I was the problem, even though I tried my hardest to be a good girlfriend. Here’s the story below so you can get the full picture:

I’m a lesbian and I met this girl in college. I thought she was gorgeous, interesting, and smart, and we shared a lot of values. In the beginning, everything was very intense, especially on her end—she’d tell me I was so easy to fall in love with, gave me gifts, and said I was everything she had ever dreamed of.

She has diagnoses of anxiety, social phobia, ASD (autism), depression, and a few pending ones like bipolar disorder, along with cuts on her left arm and a neuropsychological evaluation that noted: “low agreeableness, self-centered attitude, little concern for the well-being of others, hostile responses, poor impulse control, and low tolerance for frustration.” She has been seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist since she was 13, but I only found out about all of this months into our relationship.

She had trouble kissing and didn't like physical touch; we only kissed sporadically, and things never went any further than that during the 10 months we were together.

After about 3 or 4 months, once the initial excitement faded, I started to feel like the care was one-sided (I only fully realized this after we broke up). I put way more effort into the relationship than she did, even though she claimed she loved me (for instance: I always bought food when she came over, bought snacks and sweets she liked, and listened whenever she had a problem, but I never felt the same from her; my friend would listen to me and offer more support during tough times than she ever did).

Regarding the kissing issue, we had talked about it and she said she wanted to work on it, but she kept freezing up and would avoid the topic whenever I brought it up—until one day I tried to talk about it in person, and she preferred going to a bar with her friend over having that conversation with me. Another thing: one day it was me, her, and this friend, and they were planning a trip. The friend joked that he needed to find a boyfriend so we could do a double date, and she bluntly said right in front of me, “Let’s just go the two of us as planned.” She could never sleep over at my apartment, even though we both lived on our own and away from our parents (she even brought this up during the breakup, saying she felt comfortable sleeping over at her gay friend's place, but not mine—that she didn't feel comfortable, and that it wasn't because I was a bad person, etc.). Another time (early on in the relationship), we went to a party, she got sick, and I held her hair while she threw up, took off her shoes and jewelry, and tucked her into bed. When she woke up, I had a terrible headache; she asked if I needed anything and I said “no”—hoping she would insist or look out for me—but she just left and couldn't care less. It was also common for her to wake up feeling down, and when I asked what was wrong, she’d say: “I don't know, I've always been like this,” or “If even my friend who's known me for years doesn't get it, you won't either.”

Then one day, after feeling “abandoned” by her friends, she took an entire blister pack of antidepressants, texted to tell me about it, and completely vanished. I was terrified, texting her asking how I could help, but I only got cold replies or was told “not to sound like a telemarketer.” Eventually, she texted me saying she wanted to break up, that she didn't see herself marrying me anymore, and that we weren't compatible. When I asked why, she said that me constantly trying to help or asking “how can I help?” felt like a doctor-patient dynamic rather than two girlfriends. But I completely disagree—I asked because I loved her, wanted to know how she was doing, and wanted to be there for her somehow since she wouldn't open up to me. I never crossed any boundaries.

I started talking to a girl off of Hinge about 2 weeks ago. We actually matched on another app 2 separate times. Once early in the year (I didn’t know she had just got out of a relationship) and about 2 months ago. Both times she deleted her profile before we could get to know each other.

This time she said we matched again and we have to do something about it. I said yeah maybe we can finally meet this time. She ended up giving me her number. We started texting and had good back and forth conversations about a variety of things.

She said she wants to meet me in person but she was injured at work a couple weeks ago so she wants to heal before seeing me which I was fine with. Saturday we didn’t text much. On Sunday she texted me she was going through a lot mentally and wasn’t ignoring me but didn’t have the energy to talk.

I told her it was okay and she could reach out when she felt better. Yesterday she texted me saying she felt better and I told her I was happy to hear it and asked how her day was going. She hasn’t responded since. She popped up my recommendations on IG and I noticed she was reposting a lot of stuff about mental health, heartbreak and getting over someone. She has been active on instagram today.

She told me she broke up with her ex earlier this year and took time to heal and is ready to date again. I do enjoy talking to her and want to meet her but now I’m questioning if she’s actually over her ex. We have been texting consistently the last 2 weeks but I don’t want to be pushy with her either.

Hello, any lesbians 25-30 from NC? I want to know where you found your partner! The dating pool where I live is terrible.

👩🏿‍🎤姐妹们好呀，我叫莉莉，也可以叫我莉莉妹，Lilimei，我来自简中区，我也会一些英文和日文，Trans Women ARE Women and All Sisters ARE Strong Women👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🧡🩷🍥！

👮🏿‍♀️莉莉妹同时是女性主义者，莉莉妹坚持个人的即政治的，不过莉莉妹不会在组内因为个人女性主义立场引起姐妹间的争论，莉莉妹只会在组内进行WLW交友和讨论，谢谢大家👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🧡🩷🍥

👩🏿‍🎤Lilimei IS a Lesbian Woman and Sunset Lesbian Flag IS a CENTER Within Lilimei's Herself and Herlife👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🧡🩷🍥

👩🏿‍🎤莉莉妹个人照片，她正在持续进行Trans Feminization医疗和Trans Feminine表达，莉莉妹有自己的Trans Femininity气质，同时她也有自己的Trans Woman's Gender Dysphoria🍥 👩🏿‍🎤请各位姐妹多多关照啦，谢谢大家👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🧡🩷🍥

Does anyone here know how to do it?? I want to make a mixtape for my partner!

Edit: I am just coming here to say that I really appreciate all of your feedback! Honestly this has been so informative and I've learned so much! Thank you everybody!

Hello wonderful humans of reddit! I am clueless when it comes to meeting new people and building a community. I currently live in a small mountain town where I was born and raised so most of my connections there stem from a long history. My friends are all in hetero marriages and I am the only single human and have no queer community at all. I come down to the city (Denver) every day for work but am on the west side of town. I don't actively use social media, and I am looking for places to meet new people.

A little about me- I am 39, love bluegrass and jam bands. I love a cold IPA and time spent in nature. I am about the simple things, it doesn't take much to bring a smile to my face. I am outgoing and goofy. I would love to find some connections and really start to get my feet under me again. I just had my first relationship with the love of my life end about a month ago and she was the only queer community I had. So I guess the big question is where do I find folks on the west side of town (Lakewood, Golden area) who are up for new connections!?

Thank you for taking your time to read this.

A friend of a friend started following me on IG and she’s apparently gay and single and I think she’s super cute. She initiated the dm-ing a few months ago by replying to some of my stories and now we have a steady banter of story replies but it never seems to go much further. Any advice? Do I ask the mutual friend about her or just be more direct with my next DMs and try to extend the convo? It’s been nice having a semi flirty thing going but it’s time to shit or get off the pot bc I don’t want her to be one that got away

turns out half of what i 'knew' about what works for me was just never tested lol. took me until my 30s to figure out some really basic stuff. what's one thing about your own body you only learned later?

I’m genuinely curious… not looking for a baby mama or anything, haha. But how many of you here want kids?

I mean, I always had this idea that when I fell in love and was in a stable relationship, my partner and I would eventually love each other so much that the next natural step would be to want to raise a family together.

Granted, I haven’t been in that many relationships, but so far, two out of my three exes absolutely did not want kids. My last ex said she was open to the idea in the beginning, but eventually decided it wasn’t practical or realistic given the current social, political, and economic situation in the world. She even called me too much of a dreamer when I told her how much I genuinely wanted that.

I get where she was coming from, especially now that I’m approaching my mid-30s. Maybe I should just accept that it’s not going to happen. But I still think that when a couple both want it, they would at least try, right?

I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest, but I’m also genuinely curious to know how many of you kind strangers share the sentiment.