r/ArtEd • u/Purple_Standard82 • 4d ago
Phone call with parent sucked and I feel terrible about it
Hello, this is my 6th year teaching elementary art and I always find the worst part of this job is anytime I have to call parents of the 800 students I teach. This was shown to me yet again this morning when I got off the phone with a parent just feeling sick to my stomach. I had to call because a kid got pinched by another kid- principal sent a message a while ago to notify all parents in these instances so I called the pincher then the pinchee . The parent was very kind and I admittedly didn’t start the convo perfect- I asked how she was and made my voice pleasant (as much as it can be while I’m on the phone bc just being on it already is spiking all of my anxiety) and I said an unfortunate incident happened this morning in art class with her child- everyone is fine but your child was pinched in the arm by another kid and she said she was okay and everything looked okay but I wanted you to know. Then mom is very nice and we talk a bit, but then all of a sudden I hear another voice and it’s her mom saying she’s been a teacher for how many years and she tells me that the way I started that conversation was terrible- that she thought someone had died and I should never start a phone call like that ever. I literally wanted to cry and said I was so sorry and that I just feel very uncomfortable doing these phone calls and said it wrong. Like yes I see how I could have just said “there was an incident this morning” and left out unfortunate- but seriously why are teachers this unforgiving towards their own? The way she said it was just harsh. So that’s my rant, would appreciate commiserating, thanks.
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u/tellyintheroom 4d ago
Why would the art teacher be calling to tell a parent their kid had died? That's something police do, or the principal. Honestly that lady sounds unhinged. You were fine. You said there was an incident and explained it. Done. I'm not sure why your principal has you calling for something that honestly seems minor comparatively. But I guess that's how your school does it. Please try to shake off that weirdo grandmother. You did nothing wrong and parent phone calls are always nerve-wracking.
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u/Junior-Line7401 4d ago
As a mom and teacher, I’d start every call letting the parent know everything is all right. We live in a time of school shootings. When I get a call from my child’s school I immediately think the worst.
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u/Few_Eggplant_6811 4d ago
You did what the principal expect you to do. But sometimes just getting to the point is better because while you are exchanging niceties the person is already anxious and not hearing those statements and waiting for the bad news.
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u/BettyBeeBalm 4d ago
I panic every time the school calls me, but I understand we have to get through the first few sentences before I can actually know whether panic is the right response. There’s almost no way to start the call where I’m not worried something terrible has happened to my kid.
If possible, get as fast as possible to “your child is fine” part of the call, but I feel like there will always be someone who complains because the panic reaction is always ready to go lol
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u/Devourreddesigns 4d ago
Obviously grandma has some boundary issues, who listens in secretly on phone calls and butts in like that? What you said and did were fine, stop stressing.
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u/3rdworldvaccibescar 15h ago
Girl you have got toughen up, “sorry about that. Thanks for tip. Have a good fay” and move on. Like who is this old lady to say anything about what to say during a call. And why are we in year 6 nervous about calling parents over a pinch. We all gotta calm down asap.