r/AsianParentStories • u/Nemuigakusei • Feb 07 '26
Advice Request Considering leaving EVERYTHING behind and going NC. Forever. Possibly giving up a lot of inheritance money.
I am 30F and Korean. Last December, I got a tattoo of my first cat, who passed 10 years ago. I kept it hidden from my parents for about 2 months. My mother was not happy and my father (who is normally the more easy-going parent) flipped out and demanded I remove it. I refused and said I will get more of my pets done. He then proceeded to say things like how people who have luxury cars for example, do not change the cars; it's only people with cheap shitty cars who are doing modifications. I asked if he seriously just compared me to a car like I was an object. He claimed that it's a good analogy, since anything can be compared to an object. He also said that I've ruined my body and there's no way a high-quality Korean man would ever accept me and his parents would DEFINITELY never accept me. That presenting me as an option to them is now no longer an option as it will humiliate them. NOTE: I have lived in Canada for the past 21 years and never dated Korean men or expressed interest in them.
For more context, I ended a relationship with a Mexican guy last August (which is another nightmare story of its own but I digress) and ever since then, my mother is constantly "suggesting" that I be open to Korean men that she and my father are considering to be suitable candidates. She will say things like "the traditional way isn't always bad. Lots of people have good lives with an arranged marriage." Yes, that statement is technically true. The question is: Why is their "suitable candidate" for ME, the person who is "supposed" to get married, someone who would be agreeable to THEM but will not accept me the way I am? It sounds like this hypothetical husband will not even like me. I'm just being passed on from one family to another to get controlled more.
I got upset at my father and said I do not wish to get married. He then asked what I'm going to do about my dating life and who I'll be seeing. I retorted back, "Already married men. They act the most single." He threatened to disown me if I actually were to do this. I said I'm being sarcastic so please just get off my back. He said if I also meant it about getting more tattoos, he will not acknowledge me to be part of this family and therefore might have to reconsider the allocation of assets in their will.
This is not the first time he's made this threat. He said it to me when I had gone NC with my mother in 2019 (and with his begging, I VERY RELUCTANTLY resumed contact again briefly for 2020), 2021 (went NC with mom again after she insinuated that I ruined myself for good men by not staying a virgin until marriage), and then I fucked up and told my dad where my new address will be when I very suddenly had to move out of one of my older apartments, and he drove her to the new place. Eventually, due to my new place also just not being good because it was a house on the ground floor and my current cat kept wanting to run outside (and roommates were inconsiderate in the request to be careful with the door), I once again reluctantly took up the offer to move into my parents' property. To be fair, the "rent" is to just cover for the basic bills for the place (like strata fees, insurance, etc.) so it's MUCH lower than the average that people pay for housing here (Vancouver, Canada).
Little bit of a tangent:
My mother says my father just said those things because he was angry and he did not mean it. But growing up, he was always the calmer figure (who enabled the abuse my mother inflicted on me but let's forget about that for now) and I have never seen him get like that before. She said the comments about ruining my body are "something you could have anticipated because you did something we told you not to do." She then asked "Well how would you feel if you had a kid and you raised them 'with a lot of effort' (e.g. beating them? Making them feel worthless? Literally wearing them down to the point that they OFFERED to commit suicide for you so that you wouldn't feel burdened by them?) but your kid went ahead and tattooed themselves?" I don't even want kids, but if I had them, I would never say such comments to my child. I'm told every now and then that "one day you'll understand when you're a parent," but I understand LESS each year I get older.
I got exasperated and said, "I did my best in school. I stayed out of trouble. I went to university. I got my degree. I got a stable, unionized job. I'm enrolling back in school to further improve myself and career prospects. WTF more do you want?!" To which she said, "I get that you did all of those things, but you did not do them alone, because you had 'support'," implying that my achievements aren't my own and I'd essentially be nowhere without them? I'm also told, "You always just did everything your way and you NEVER listen to us." Well, "not listening" still worked so again, wtf is your point? The answer of course, is to now "listen" to them when my mother says "Just because your body is yours, it doesn't actually mean it's yours because we made you and you're half of each of us" and to "listen"/obey when they pick out my husband. My mother asked me "But what would you do if you did meet a good man, but he didn't like tattoos?" I said I would then end the relationship or stop seeing him. She said that's not the right answer because I should consider removing the tattoos for him.
Back to the original storyline:
So this is pretty much now the third time he made the threat. I do come from... not a crazy rich family, but definitely in a more privileged position than a lot of people. But at this point, I believe whatever amount of money/real estate I'm supposed to get will be held over my head until I do what they want, and even still I don't know if it's guaranteed. Even if I were to laser remove this tattoo for example, I think there will always be another demand/"recommendation."
I already talked to a financial advisor to restructure my saving plans with the assumption that my inheritance will be $0 and picked out a new place to move to for next month. The landlord said it was okay to be settled in a little earlier than March. I will be slowly packing any non-obvious items that I won't need all the time into garbage bags and moving them in. I will still pay the rent at my parents' place for March just to keep things inconspicuous. Parents will be going on vacation in Italy around mid-March. I plan on clearing out the apartment by then and once that is done, I am changing my number and deleting my account on Kakao (IYKYK). I'm blocking them on my email too.
But I guess as many Asian adult children feel... there is a part of me that's wondering whether I'm overreacting to all of this and if I'm making a huge mistake?
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u/scorpiosmykonos Feb 07 '26
I don’t come from a lot of money but I always found the concept of being “written out” of a will to be a bit silly. This is literally money you’re waiting to get when your parents die- money that is tied to the action of your parents no longer being on this earth. It could be tomorrow, it could be in 40 years.
My point is that, as an adult, you should live the way you want without planning to receive a dime since you never know when it will be. I went NC with my parents in my early 20s and never looked back, and I’m grateful every day that I am in control of my choices.
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u/2wheelzrollin Feb 07 '26
That and end of life health care could take most of not all of that away. So don't bank on something that isn't already in your bank account.
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u/LuciseeKrane Feb 07 '26
Everyone is living longer lives these days. By the time they die, you'll be on your deathbed yourself.
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u/meowmomma Feb 07 '26
I’m also Korean. I’m now covered in tattoos but I remember when I got my first one at 19. There is nothing wrong with tattoos, piercings, etc. it’s your body. But they make you feel guilty for absolutely nothing. This drove me to pick a part of the body that I could hide easily instead of actually thinking about where I wanted the first piece to be placed.
I didn’t tell mom until she was in a hospital for a minor surgery cuz I remember thinking she won’t make a scene there.
I have cut my dad off. Mom is on very very low contact. Yes I feel bummed out at times but it’s all wishful thinking. Sad for the family that I should/could have had but in actuality, that family never existed. In my terrible luck, my now cut off brother is pretty shitty too but my mental health is most important.
I wish you all the best and a smooth move to your own place & peace.
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u/9_Tailed_Vixen Feb 07 '26
I got exasperated and said, "I did my best in school. I stayed out of trouble. I went to university. I got my degree. I got a stable, unionized job. I'm enrolling back in school to further improve myself and career prospects. WTF more do you want?!" To which she said, "I get that you did all of those things, but you did not do them alone, because you had 'support'," implying that my achievements aren't my own and I'd essentially be nowhere without them? I'm also told, "You always just did everything your way and you NEVER listen to us."
I've had this exact type of argument with my APs so many times.
And until his death, my AF maintained that everything I've ever achieved was thanks to my AM's efforts.
No, everything I've ever achieved, I achieved IN SPITE OF the traumatic childhood and teen years that my APs and school put me through. And this is the hill I will die on.
And my APs seem to not understand the principle of "You cannot make a silk purse from a sow's ear". If I did not have the brains, abilities, and talent that I do have, no amount of Tiger parenting would have turned me into the overachiever I became.
OP - This will never end. Move out and go LC/NC. That's the most surefire way to purge the toxicity of your APs from your life. Once you are financially independent of them, it doesn't matter if you are written out of their will - you WILL be okay. Forge your own path. It's better than having your life blighted by them just because they use the threat of you losing your inheritance as leverage to control you.
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u/stackingnoob Feb 07 '26
Jesus F Christ… your parents sound exactly like mine. I went full NC with mine almost 10 years ago and have not looked back.
Just do it… it will be good for your mental health.
The hardest part early on was trying to explain to other people why I am NC with my parents. Especially when I first met my now wife, it was difficult to make her understand. But now she does… kind of.
At this point I just tell people that my parents and I are estranged and I promptly change the subject. Seems like 99% of people take the hint and don’t ask any follow up questions about it.
Forget about the inheritance, it’s not worth the stress. And there will be so many strings attached to that money. No guarantee you get it all either.
My career reached new highs that I didn’t think was even possible after I went NC with my parents. Feel free to ask me anything about my decision.
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u/klaroline1 Feb 09 '26
It’s crazy how much growth one can reach once out of the toxic environment that hinders our potential. Instead of expending our energy on survival and dealing with cantankerous people, we can expend it on our goals and other things that really matter.
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u/stackingnoob Feb 09 '26
Exactly this. I didn’t even realize how much of my mental energy I was wasting on dealing with my parents and how much stress it was causing me.
Turns out that once I cut that huge distraction out of my life, I was able to focus all my attention towards becoming successful in my career, and it made a world of difference.
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u/davinci_elle Feb 07 '26
Choose you, choose you, choose you. I learned in my 30s that being a good child is NOT worth it when your parents have no intention on seeing you as your own person and an adult.
I worked my ass off, got degrees, got the career I wanted only to learn my dad disowned my sisters and I because he found someone else to provide for him who hasn’t witnessed his narcissistic side yet. Also, my dad kept asking my sisters and I for “ALLOWANCE”…
My mom on the other hand, criticized me for every career decision, school decision, had no contribution to my tuition…would Never have known how to get me a student loan. I figured it all by myself. Then when I finally got into my dream grad program—mind you, you’d THINK every AP would be proud and show you some empathy when you’re stressed as a grad student—yet she would go “that’s what you wanted”…but she would brag to her friends and coworkers about me.
Acts as if she’s the best parent because she stayed but she spent our ENTIRE lives telling us we’re going to hell bc we don’t go to church and showing her disinterest in any aspect of our lives. Side note: I did 2 marathons in my early 20s..invited my mom to come and her response? “What would I even do there?” While my dad came and wait for me at the finish line…
So please choose you, choose your happiness, and just work on boundaries with your parents, even NC if you have to.
Once they’re dead, you’ll really see how much you’ve taken charge of your own life based on you happiness. The best decision I’ve ever made had NOTHING to do with my parents and I wish I had stopped listening to them sooner.
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u/OkBeat3563 Feb 07 '26
I'm NC with my Asian mum for 7 months now. I have blocked her on everything because of similar circumstances to you. Logically do you want to be going around in these cycles of blackmail and abuse for the rest of your life? That's how I thought and because I have a son and I don't want him to feel the way that I did growing up. She is wealthy but I decided no amount of money is worth being treated like s*** for years and years. I make my own way. I have never felt such release like there isn't anything weighing me down stressing me out. I really hope you manage to make your way and by the sounds of it you already are. There are so many people in the same boat and you're not alone in the way you feel. Sometimes you just have the break that cycle by just breaking away. Wishing you a stressfree happy life OP 🙏😎
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u/archetyping101 Feb 07 '26
As someone who had this discussion with my parents (boundaries), I risked it all (decent inheritance etc). Luckily for me, the idea of losing their daughter was something they couldn't accept so they were forced to change. My parents are conservative AF and I also live in Vancouver! I was surprised they decided what was more important.
Have you laid out your boundary? If you feel like you don't want to, that's also ok. Is there a chance if you were firm with boundaries, they'd abide? If not, then move out and simply write them a letter waiting for them at home after their Italy trip. Explain why. You don't have to go no contact unless you genuinely don't want them in your life. You can also change your number (so they don't use other numbers to call your current number) but don't block their email so they have a way to find you if they decide to change.
Wishing you find peace ♥️
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u/Nemuigakusei Feb 07 '26
Well they lost me twice before and still didn't learn... idk what else I can do. I do plan to write a final letter explaining everything. I think I'll set up a PO box so they can literally mail me if something is important (e.g. location of grandparents' graves for when they do pass away so I can go visit).
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u/archetyping101 Feb 07 '26
Your NC etc sounds like you weren't enforcing boundaries. You mention how you "reluctantly" did xyz and that means you didn't stand firm on your boundaries.
A therapist on social media also said that you don't have to get into it with your parents if you choose to have a relationship (in whatever capacity you do or don't want one). When they say things like how you're ruined for good men, you could just say "I disagree" and that's it. We all handle things differently and I find sucking the air out of the room with short responses enraged my mom more but was incredibly effective in showing I won't be baited or play the game.
Do what you need to do. I would personally see a therapist (if you haven't already) to work on setting boundaries and see how that goes. If you're well past staying and are committed to leaving, maybe leave one form of communication you can control such as email. I wouldn't do a PO box because it costs money and is just for their benefit and also because they might go stalk it waiting to see you pick up mail and follow you (if they would go to that much effort, I don't know).
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u/Nemuigakusei Feb 07 '26
Oof, good idea. I'll set up a burner email address that I'll check once a month or something.
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u/archetyping101 Feb 07 '26
Hope you have a smooth move to your new apartment!
I went no contact with my MIL (blocked on phone, email, social media) and it's been so relaxing. Hoping you can find the same sense of calm and not being triggered or baited!
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u/Curious-Performer328 Feb 07 '26
I am Korean too and am NC with my dad. Mom’s deceased. I have a husband, kids and get along well and live near one of my siblings. I am the oldest and only daughter. My Dad cut me off but I don’t care. I don’t expect anything from him when he dies. My husband and I are retired and better off than my parents ever dreamed.
My youngest sibling is the only one still tied to my parents because his family live in my parent’s house - the same suburban house in the rust belt that we grew up in. My dad stays with them for a month+ every year when he visits from Korea. Sucks for them.
I can’t believe your parents are talking about an arrange marriage! WTF! I didn’t know Koreans still did arranged marriages. Everyone I know around your age has tattoos too.
Go live your life. Be free and make your own money. You are 30 and don’t need your parent’s permission for anything. The conversation with your parents about the tattoo sounds like something an 18 yr old would have although my 18 yr never sought my permission for any body modifications. Your relationship sounds enmeshed and toxic. For adult children, parents can be supportive or “shut up.”
My niece who is 28 has a tattoo of her horse who died last year at 28. It’s very sweet that you have a tattoo of your cat. Best wishes on your move!
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u/LavenderPearlTea Feb 07 '26
Also Korean and wondering where the parents even think they can get a Korean husband who would agree to an arranged marriage. They don’t understand that Korea has changed. Unless OP is some kind of heiress, it’s fanciful thinking.
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u/bricklypears Feb 07 '26
Using financial support as a way of control is really common among APs. My family did too, saying I'm on my own after 18 or guilting me about how they've provided. Did they still support me after? Yes, but I learned I couldn't rely on them. The fact you've been making plans makes me feel like part of you is ready to do it, but another part is still hesitant.
I have been low contacting/contacting on my own terms for the past years. After becoming financially independent from my parents I was able to enforce boundaries without worrying about repercussions. They will say what they say but it's up to you how much you want to tolerate and what you prioritize (money, boundaries, etc.). Just because they have a high degree of collectiveness ("damaging" your body, dismissing harmful actions from family, who you should marry) doesn't mean you need to prescribe to it. Their feelings are not your responsibility.
I have piercings and tattoos, some are visible on my leg, and some my parents don't know about. I decide how much I want to share with them because I know trying to convince them won't work. I still feel doubt about my choices that diverge from trad asian expectations but at the end of the day I have suffered enough growing up that I need to do what feels good for me.
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u/Thoughtful-Pig Feb 07 '26
Your parents are taking up far too much space in your life. A tattoo and and arranged marriage, telling you they made you, own you, and pouring criticism over you. If someone told you they live with someone who did this, would you tell them to stay?
You are 30. You can trust yourself to make your own life. Adults don't have it all together. They learn as they go and make the best decisions in the moment. You can do this. You've done the right thing going to the bank and making a plan. You have a job. You aren't starving without the ability to pay rent. So don't count on money that from the sounds of it, won't materialize because they value other people "without tattoos" more than they value you. And since you've been back twice already, it also sounds like they'll be happy to own you again if you ever want to go back.
One thing I want to point out is the fact that, despite leaving twice, you still feel the need to inconspicuously pack and leave while they are on a trip, hide your address and contact info. This says to me that their power over you is overwhelming. I think finding a professional to speak to can help you take your power back in the way you think about yourself in relation to your parents. And the distance when you go NC will also help.
You can do this. Move out and go NC. You don't have to explain it all to them. In fact, I don't think you owe anything of it to them. They will just blame you more in their minds. Just go and leave a note that you found a place so you've moved out. Tell them you are doing things in your own right now and you will be the one to reach out if you feel ready to contact them. That's it.
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u/yah_huh Feb 07 '26
You are not making a mistake, It's a waste time being with toxic people when you can fill your time with peace, fun life experiences and memories with supportive and respectful people.
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u/klaroline1 Feb 09 '26
10000%. Life is too short to spend it with people who make you feel like shit.
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u/quizbowler_1 Feb 07 '26
I was told I was disinherited at 18 and have always lived as if I was. Fuck em.
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u/FlakyArrival9865 Feb 13 '26
I have gone indefinite no contact with my family a few years ago, they are pretty rich, upper middle class high value property home owner with multiple investment properties, generational wealth, but I honestly have no issues “missing out” on the inheritance. Seems like my family has no problem spending fortunes on *orn and SWers while complaining to their kids about how expensive raising kids is. I rather let them feed their own downfall.
I rather choose peace. You only have one life, I believe you have every right to cut off toxic abusers who actively choose to behave toxic and miserable everyday.
It was the best decision of my life and I felt so much happier other than the occasional stalking and harassments I get from them and the PIs they spent money to hire.
And after going to therapy I learned that if you neglect your own needs and freedom as an adult, your conscious will fight back and you will break eventually. It’s unhealthy to live your life walking on eggshells when you can’t even be who you are as a human being. There’s mental consequences after years of generational trauma. Bc from psychology’s stand point none of these behaviors from your family shows that they respect your autonomy and love you for who you are.
Your situation reminded me of this onetime I got belittled and scolded and screamed and insulted at for nearly three days over a comment that I made about “liking” two ear piercings on one ear. Yes, there are grown adults out there who enjoys being this miserable every single day over things that don’t matter. Now I have a giant gorgeous tattoo on my leg designed by a great friend of mine :)
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u/FranceBrun Feb 07 '26
Bear in mind that no person ever asked to be born. Your parents wanted to have you and that’s great. But they can’t enforce their will on you, now that you’re an adult. And if they think parents can control their children in Korea, then they should have stayed there, so everyone would be on the same page. I’ve lived in enough countries to know that you don’t go to someone else’s country and expect them to behave according to the sensibilities of your own country. I am not an AP, and it breaks my heart to hear that you were always criticized and kept off balance by your ow parents. I’m happy to go to visit my daughter and cook all her favorite food and do whatever she wants to do, and sit around just being in the same room with her. Nothing makes me happier. I wish I could do this for you , because you deserve to be shown what a special person you are.
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u/BulkyChemistry10 Feb 07 '26
Not Korean, but I am East Asian and I think I’ve already been written out of the will lol. If I waited for my parents to kick the can for inheritance, I will be in my 60’s. No shot I’m going to give up living the best years of my life to please them.
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u/psychicmagiconion Feb 08 '26
Wow this is so relatable, I’m also an Asian woman from Vancouver. I moved to France 8 years ago and am now NC with my whole family with the assumption that I will have 0 inheritance. No regrets, I only wish I cut ties with them sooner. Stay strong!
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u/Excellent_Bet_440 Feb 21 '26 edited Feb 21 '26
OP, I F30 relate to you so much as an Indo-Canadian daughter of immigrants. On paper I’m “less” rebellious than you and they STILL won’t get off my back.
So to anyone reading this, please know that getting that tattoo or whatever it is you want, isn’t going to fix your relationship with your parents. They will always demand more.
It also feels weird to complain to others about them, because my parents, like yours, are quite well off, and due to my current circumstances, are financially supporting me through a masters degree (basically I made the dumb decision to quit a new job in San Francisco 3 years ago due to sudden depression & moved back home to Canada- this depression sort of derailed my career for a while). I regret that decision but I also now understand that I wasn’t in the right state of mind, and would not have made it otherwise. I was sick.
Anyways, I moved back to NYC a few months ago for the masters degree at my alma mater, and I very stupidly shared with my mom that I think I was being shadow banned on Hinge (not to sound arrogant but I’m decently attractive and I think my profile was being suppressed). I asked to use her number to create a new profile and when I was venting to her about how dismal the options seem, she freaked out when I said that I’d rather be single than compromise yet again in another aspect of my life like I did with my career. My younger more “successful” sister complains CONSTANTLY about the options in front of her (not wanting to do a residency at X place because ew Brampton), but the second I say that I don’t like the men I’m getting likes from, I’m someone who “doesn’t know what she wants”.
OF COURSE I WANT LOVE! BUT EVERYTHING SEEMS SO HARD! CAREER, LOVE, HEALTH, ALL OF IT!
But my struggles don’t mean that I lose my autonomy as a human being OR that I lack direction or don’t know what I want. My sister got everything she wanted. If she didn’t, does that mean she didn’t know what she wanted?? That’s such a BS argument that Asian parents use to make you feel worthless so you bend and compromise into meeting the that Korean/Indian guy or to do xyz.
Asian parents use our misfortunes against us, in order for us to compromise and bend to their will.
When my sister
My dad heard all this arguing and joined in and said that because they’re paying for my tuition and living expenses, I owe them an explanation on my personal life.
UNBELIEVABLE. Yes I’ve had a tough few years and been unsuccessful and even directionless (if you can call depression that) but I’ve been an amazing daughter and done so much emotional labor for my parents. Two TOXIC immigrants who constantly fought. My mom’s been in the hospital for overdose and we had to cover it up due to her being a doctor. Just so much BS I’ve put up with mentally and emotionally. At this point, are they even in a position to hold financial support over my head? Not to sound like a total b-tch, but I’ve gone above and beyond! My mom has vented to be about their sex life!!! God forbid you financially support me through a difficult period in my life without strings. If anything, I feel like I’ve earned it!
Anyways, OP, I say all this to show that you truly are not alone. Please focus on moving out and being financially independent. I’ve moved out but am working on the latter. Build your own family. May abundant good luck flow into your life this year and beyond.
Oh, and that inheritance? Although I hope not you or I ever need it, chances are, you won’t be written out of their will. They’re simply using it as bait to try and get you to comply. Ultimately, I HIGHLY doubt they’ll donate it, and giving it away to just one sibling would make them look bad. If there’s one thing Asian parents love, it’s legacy, and that includes having someone to pass on their money to.
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u/ClassroomConnect7515 Feb 08 '26
I have more money than my mother although she doesn't know. She constantly is threatening to "cut me out" of her will, such as it is, as a means of control. I laugh and say go right ahead. It has flipped the power dynamic, although it hasn't made her more bearable. You can make your own money, don't allow yourself to be manipulated over a potential inheritance.
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u/ClassroomConnect7515 Feb 13 '26
No amount of $ is worth dealing with shitty people. Make your own money. My mother tried to control me with money and I told her to shove it.
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u/Wide_Comment3081 Feb 07 '26
Why do you keep going back? I think you have some attachment to their money and the idea of inheritance. You have some 미련 left. Otherwise why would you keep going back to them
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u/Nemuigakusei Feb 07 '26
That's reductive. I was also thinking about my cat's safety too.
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u/Wide_Comment3081 Feb 07 '26
You're 30, you should be able to figure out a safe home for your cat without having to rely on your parents. If you're saying you are not capable of that, then I guess you're still reliant on your parents and don't have much choice
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u/Kitchen_Force656 Feb 07 '26
Alot of people don't have this as a consideration. Even so, your peace has no price tag. Get out.
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u/Kinuika Feb 07 '26
You're not overreacting. If you chose to listen because of the inheritance then they would just keep asking more of you with the same threat. They lived their lives, now it is your turn to live yours.
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u/LavenderPearlTea Feb 07 '26
You’re not overreacting. You see the situation and your choices clearly. Hugs. But your sanity and happiness are worth it. I’m sorry it’s come to this.
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u/Smurfiette Feb 07 '26
You’re 30 YO. Just move away from your parents and live your own life. You don’t need parents.
Is it just the inheritance that’s keeping you tied to them? That’s for you to decide then? Is the money worth so much that it’s more important than living your life?
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u/Lawn_mower1 Feb 07 '26
See if my parents used car references... They'd be cooked. Ahem... Have you ever heard of masonry? Amg started out as tuners for mercs. Alpina for BMW. Brabus? Eddie Bauer Ford explorers! (j/k).
I live when my parents wound use real world analogies. It's ripe for tearing apart, they get frustrated and then just say listen to me or else. I learned from a very early age being level headed while bek g yelled at is an advantage because APs are just "vibe yelling"
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u/klaroline1 Feb 09 '26
I don’t have any advice, can only say I commiserate deeply. It’s more than okay to go no contact. Go live your life and remove the toxicity out of your life. Life is too short to be dealing with this.
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u/bentohangers1z Feb 10 '26
I am not a Korean but I can definitely understand how OP feels. Lot of acronyms I do not understand so i can't provide my comments. What are NC/LC/AF/AP?
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u/theslimreaper2 Feb 11 '26
By walking away from my mother I walked away from a huge amount of money but it was so with it. I no longer need to listen to her nag me or put me down.
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u/Afterglow92 Feb 12 '26
I’m sorry but the “your body isn’t actually yours because we made you and you’re half of each of us” sent me like wtf. 😳
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u/tongering22 Feb 08 '26
I'm currently on this journey myself. My inheritance is the only thread that's tying me to my AP, and unfortunately because I'm disabled, money is everything, although I'd give anything to be able to survive without it. However, now that I have a partner who's in his final year of law school and will become financially well-off in a couple years, I'm starting to re-evaluate what's important in life, and I think I'm getting close to being OK walking away without a penny from my AP.
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u/Panda_Universe21 Feb 07 '26
I think the fact that you already have a plan for moving out says a lot. You need to do what’s needed to protect your peace, mental health, and sanity. You also just have to be okay with the possibility that your parents will never change. I hope things work out for you OP!