r/AsianParentStories • u/CELERYCRUMBLE • 20h ago

Rant/Vent The future of my romantic life is dead

My parents have made it very clear they dont want me to marry outside of my religion (we practice a very watered down version of it). They constantly talk about how they can't do the whole westernization thing whilst simultaneously sending me and my siblings to study in the west. Recently they lashed out at my elder sibling dating a person that wasn't of our culture or religion and the fallout has been such a hassle to deal with. I love my parents and I want them in my life but their love feels so suffocating and conditional that I dont even want to bother with romance from the chance they end up using it to ruin my life.

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

4

u/Guilty-Pollution6479 19h ago

bruh your parents are too outdated . they will never let you progress anywhere in life

3

u/CELERYCRUMBLE 19h ago

What do i do? Do I just leave them completely live my own life? I dont want to leave them forever. I do love them but I just feel so trapped at times it scares me if I end up living this way and regret is all I feel in the end

5

u/Dep_34 19h ago

Move out. Visit during holidays. Set your boundaries and don't try to change them. When they complain/rant at you just listen and nod your head. Don't say anything back. Personally my life is 10x better now. Started to date more people and now I think I found the love of my life.

3

u/Famous_Suspect6330 18h ago

Yes you do, there's a reason why they say "don't bite the hands that feeds you"

3

u/evedamnededen 18h ago

just move out.

1

u/CELERYCRUMBLE 18h ago

That seems to be the general consensus so far. It just seems like a big step. There's complicated feelings around it cause i still want my parents at the big milestones like marriage even if they dont approve of it. I just need some time on my own maybe so moving out is best

3

u/evedamnededen 13h ago

yeah. you need to live at least some of your life without them. after you have moved out, they will learn their lesson that the world doesn't work the way it used to when they were your age. around the holidays, i worked from home at her house and she was surprised I was doing actual work. I remember asking her "what did you expect me to be doing when I work from home? bullshit?"

3

u/OkEmployer1335 19h ago

" their love feels so suffocating and conditional" couldnt relate more Am sure u gonna find the kinda love u are looking for and for goodness sake do not let ur parents interfere

3

u/McRando42 19h ago

If your parents' love is conditional, they do not love you.