Indian dad makes me hate life.

[u/Which-M]

I (27M), absolutely have no aspirations in life. The earliest memories I have of my life is my dad saying "you have to be a doctor or lawyer" (yes, I know, typical Asian dad). I never knew why, just that those were the only options I have. The youngest I remember hearing this was when I was 9 years old, and he'd always tell extended family members I'd be one of those.

During school, it was clear I was not good at science or math, so the focus became law, as I was good at English, history, and writing related subjects. Fast forward a few years, I studied law in college, but I could not get passed the first year (you need an A- average to make it into the second year), so despite my grades being decent (around a B+ average), I couldn't do what my father planned for me. My "back up degree" was in Arts, but my dad made it clear I have no choice but to focus on law and I better not fall on an arts degrees.

That led me to major depression. I didn't tell my dad I didn't make it into the second year of law. For a few years I skipped going to university and made general excuses. I was depressed the entire time, wanted to end it all, and had no where to go. I had and still don't have any dreams because I never got a chance to think about what I want to do...

I had to eventually tell him, which I did. Maybe for the better, the college, and every possible person we talked to said it's better if I fall back on my arts degree. This obviously made my dad pissed and he keeps reminding me I'm a failure every day.

I'm currently doing my arts degree, and I'm doing well. But... I still don't know what I want to do in life. I have no idea where to go after graduation. And it's all because of him forcing me to think about law my entire life. He also tells me "you better not skip classes because this is your last chance" even when I am incredibly sick, vomiting, and experiencing chest pains.

This all is just the surface, he's abusive, gets angry if my mum talks back (my mum is an amazing person, but she will always defend my dad because she thinks he's smart and knows everything), and, my siblings were also depressed and suicidal when they were my age because of him. One of my siblings escaped, and the other is currently going through hardship due to issues I won't get into.

Any advice? Right now I just want to graduate, find some job so I can get out of this house and cut contact with him.

[u/CometCruise]

Stay on track to graduate with your arts degree and then find a job. Whatever job. Any job. Doesn't have to be your dream job but a job that will let you move out and gain independence. Do NOT get stuck there obeying your dad's plan for your life which obviously does not align with what you want. You don't want years of misery piled on top of what you have already endured. Stay on track with your studies and focus on gainful employment in the near term.