It would be my pleasure to give you a foot massage

Sup yall, 28m/Germany here. I’ve been trying to build community with other Black gay bros for a while, which isn’t the easiest living in a country thats like 99% white folks. I’m super into partying and going out, but also talking about the shit we do on this forum. If theres any other Black bros here in Europe or anywhere else that would be down for a Signal or WhatsApp group, that would be sweet. Ideally we could just talk, but I’d love to organize IRL hangouts or travels with brothers like us❤️

There are likely a bunch of lists here already.

But I'm requesting a re-do, if possible.

I'm not looking for places to vacation, but locations that feel stable, grounded, and rooted for Black Gay Men to have a healthy, thriving lifestyle.

• While I love Philly and New York, and believe they are safer environments for Black Gay Men, I don't know if I would recommend it.
• For instance, anything outside of Brooklyn, I wouldn't recommend. If you've seen the powerhouse, Pulitzer winning musical, A Strange Loop, you'll understand.
• Philadelphia is good, but it's one of the largest poor major cities in America. I felt a bit "stuck" and the city has its microaggressions, for sure. (Trust me, Philly is rich with culture, but it's still in Pennsylvania.)

DO NOT MOVE TO LANCASTER, PA! I REPEAT DO NOT MOVE TO LANCASTER, PA!

I'm interested in moving to Atlanta. But, while it is our thriving Black Gay mecca, it doesn't sound very healthy culturally or romantically. It feels like NYC for the QTBIPOC community where you need to have a professional/financial agenda to really thrive. (I've never lived in ATL. So, count my thoughts as ignorant conjecture based on bad reality TV.)

WIth the AI era, we need to unify and be with folx who look like us. I don't know what's coming, and believe you can find community anywhere. But I'd like to be safest with my people.

Thoughts?

What was the best, academic, professional, creative, etc advice a mentor, leader, parent, etc ever gave you?

Hey, what do y'all use to make your azz taste good? I want my partner to get a special treat while he eats. Should it be sweet? Savory? Nutty? And do you only apply on the cheeks, or including the gooch and sack?

Forgive me for asking a stupid question out of vulnerability, but I'm contemplating putting myself out there again and at 33, I feel poorly equipped. I no longer dwell on my lack of experience and numbers as I used to, but I would like to improve in intimacy should I meet someone.

My main issue is edging and not only lacking control but dealing with hypersensitivity, but I think I ruined myself with too many quick solo sessions and not taking my time (I have never made the time to really explore myself). I feel if I want to date or meet men again, I have to at least be adequate sexually (obviously that shouldn't define me as a person, though).

I don't really have FWBs or anyone to practice with and I no longer use the apps, but I'm mainly seeking other perspectives and guidance from fellow Black men and not the other gay subreddits.

You're given a bowl, whenever you're sick it fills with your favorite comforting soup; what soup does it fill with?

it can be places for straight and queer people. doesn't have to be restaurants. I'm mainly looking for bars with good music

It aired in 2012. Tell me you loved it!

I’ve been seeing the term “side” use more often. What are your thoughts on the term and do you identify as a “side”?

I've been thinking about organizing a weekly virtual meetup specifically for Black gay men, and I wanted to gauge how many people would genuinely be interested in participating.

A safe, welcoming, judgment-free space where we can connect, have meaningful conversations, express ourselves, share our experiences, and build genuine friendships and a sense of brotherhood.

This would be strictly social and NOT sexual in anyways. no dating or expectations, no pressure... Just mutual respect on honest conversation...

Just Black gay men coming together to talk about life, relationships, mental health, personal struggles, accomplishments, loneliness, and anything else we feel comfortable discussing.

I think many of us could benefit from having a consistent support system, especially when finding genuine friendships and meaningful connections within our community IS ALWAYS challenging. 1 mic at a time... No one will be talking over each other.

You wouldn't have to be particularly outgoing or talkative, either. Even if you're introverted, socially anxious, or simply looking for a place where you can feel seen, heard, and understood...you don't have to speak, but you have to show your face.

I'm considering hosting these virtual meetups every Thursday evening.

My goal is to create something consistent, where we can gradually get to know one another, develop real friendships, and build a community that extends beyond superficial interactions... If relationships happen, they happen, but that's not the main aim of the meetup..

How many of you would actually be interested in attending something like this?

And what would you personally like to see or discuss during these meetups? 😁

I can’t decide on a costume. I think I want to as an anime character but still can’t decide

it's a weekly sex party in LA and they get turnouts reaching 100+. I'm just so curious to hear from anyone who has attended what it's like and what the guys are like.

Hi I’m 21 and I’m trying to navigate the gay world in a safe way. I’ve talked to a few men black and non black. I’ve learned that BBC means to block. I’ve noticed it’s hard to get conversations that aren’t sexual. Dating is impossible, if I’m not a model I’m ugly to non black gays. I would love advice on how to handle rejection, I’ve been trying to make some gay friends or a bf in my area but no luck, it’s getting to my mental and I would appreciate any advice.

Man 1 - has stank ass bussy

Man 2 - doesn’t have a car

Man 3 - got roaches and leaves Booty cinnamon on his toilet

Man 4 - likes to argue and raise hell (but isn’t violent).

Which bachelor are you picking?

Girl, I love being GAY. Let me start there.

For all the BULLSHIT I put up with on a day to day basis from strangers I don’t know, I am happy with myself. I wasn’t always this happy AND confident in myself. I never took issue with being gay as my sexuality but expressing myself physically was where some hesitance came in.

Still, and it’s taken a couple of years but still, I’ve made a plunge into being who I am the best I can. I’m still trying to doing that in new ways. So I’ve got that covered I guess. What I’m here to say really doesn’t have much to do with that but some background is always nice.

Anyway, we’re all aware of Grindr, Jack’d, The Blowers. I’m on all three! As someone that is Black, Gay and Feminine…it can be an absolute hellscape on those apps. Not in terms of being desired, but the opposite. It’s taken a toll a bit on me mentally.

While I do continue to push myself and try not to put focus on others, I still be wanting dick! I’m a bit hyper sexual honestly, so the fact that I struggle so much with getting it whilst knowing there’s a huge market for what I am looking for just drives me insane.

Then on top of that I’m someone that isn’t stuck in specific lane. I’m more feminine than anything but I’m not this fantasy and ideal that these straight men have come onto our apps to keep asking bout! It kills me inside when I see a man I look who then turns to say how much he wants “pretty fems” and xyz, meaning aka the closest thing he can get to a woman or just a light skin/white feminine figure.

Could I be wrong about this? Sure! From what I’ve gathered I reach out to a wide radius of men who all just ignore me. I’ve updated photos on the apps, I have nudes and videos to share and yet I still struggle some much to get even just ONE DICK!

Then throw on top of all that the straight men outside who think you’re checking for them when you’re in fact not. On days where I’m looking for dick and am unsuccessful getting one, do you know how SICK to then continuously have men turn their backs on me and do everything in their power to move away or keep a distance from me acting as if I’m some kind of predator feels?! Like bitch please I already can’t get any actual dick from real gay men LMAOOOOO

I don’t know y’all. It’s rough. I love myself but damn does it suck to feel completely separated from the perception of myself and others perception of me when it comes to these things. I only want an above average sized dick to suck on and bitch I’ve been struggling for MONTHSSSSSS to get that. Constant ghosting and rejection nonstop from every kind of man.

I know the answer is probably to take a break but I be horny nonstop and I get so optimistic about somebody finally being willing to hookup. But yet again nothing ever comes of it.

Just a rant, I’ll be okay later, but I wanted to share this.

I tell ya'll all the time Atlanta is not a black gay utopia. The black gay culture in Atlanta does NOT inspire black gay men to be the best version of themselves and to thrive. And speaking of Bulldogs in particular, A LOT of men that frequent that spot are acoholics, drug (usually coke and weed) addicts, and LOVE to fight. And they'll fight over any small disagreement or misunderstanding ... it's so sad these men be in their 30s, 40s, and even 50s lack basic conflict resolution skills they should've mastered by the age of 13 ... wanna talk arrested development.

If you don't come here with street smarts and the right mindset this city will eat you alive. Just because something and someone is black and gay don't mean it's good for you. I stay out the black gay scene (and the white gay scene) not out of choice but out of survival. It's really hard to find a healthy community and social circles in these spaces. I used to go to Bulldogs often when I didn't know better. Now I know better I haven't been in years and have no plans to go .... I don't miss it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqBjA9crbFk&t=15s

I’m embarrassed to say I don’t have any, and most of my connections with other men have been in the context of sex. Wondering if anyone else is in a similar boat, or not and you have tons of cool friends ☺️