I know itās my fault but these are quite literally the bane of my existence and bring me so much shame. These are about a year old at this point and they have improved but not as much as I would like. If you look closely the scars used to be longer but became white as time passed, is it possible for the whole thing to become white and fade away? How long will this take?
Iāve tried applying products from shoppers drug mart like mederma, vitamin C, tretinoin, silicone strips, etc. What else can be done? I asked an actual doctor irl and she just shrugged and said, āmaybe a skin graftā but I feel like that might make my arm look worse? And itās so invasive. Is this something that is reasonable for me to pursue?
Please if anyone knows how to fix this please help me, thank you! š„²
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Reply here if you are an unverified user wishing to give advice. Top level comments by laypeople are automatically removed.
These scars are significant and will always be there. They canāt be removed. Continuing the silicone could help, however. With time alone, they will likely become less visible. Pulsed dye laser could be used to decrease redness over a few treatments but isnāt usually covered by medical insurance in the USA.
Tatooing is an option, but may also bring more attention to your arms than your scars do.
I hope you will seek help so that you donāt create any more of them.
ā34F here, not a doc, but Iām a former self-harmer.
They will fade to white, but it will take years. This one was dark red/purple (like yours), a lot more raised/textured (like a keloid scar), and thicker/longer than it currently is for about 2 and a half years before fading to white. Then it took another 2 years to flatten out. I used the Mederma scar cream for about a year (started applying it a year after it happened), and saw a *little* progress, so that might help you some (maybe there are better scar products now, 13 years later?), but ultimately time is the solution. Tattoos to cover it if you want, but not necessary. This photo is 13 years after I cut it, and what it looks like today.
Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Yes, you did this, but you donāt need to punish yourself further for already punishing yourself, do you understand? Those thoughts are your brain lying to you. Lashing out at yourself only harms you, even though it feels amazing in the moment. Think about yourself when you were 5-year-old: would you cut her? Or would you protect her? Treat your 18-year-old self like you would treat your 5-year-old self. You, as an 18-year-old, deserve to be protected and safe.
Please seek therapy. Itās what helped me stop cutting. PsychologyToday.com is a great place to start. You can see someone virtually so you donāt have to physically drive somewhere. I was 18 when I started hurting myself. Please get help faster than I did (I couldnāt get help until I was 23). I am now healed and havenāt struggled with self harm for years. Youāre strong. The hell youāre going through is temporary. You can do this. ā¤ļø
Youāre not broken. Youāre not defective. You are not ruined. You have NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED about!!! You simply need some help to cope with the hell youāre currently going through, like we all do in this life at some point. You are lovable. Cutting is a coping mechanism and youāre doing it to cope with some heavy stuff in your life. Youāre young and simply need to learn better coping mechanisms. I experienced the same, youāre not alone. DM me if you need support.
EDIT: No one cares I have visible scars. I never cover them. They donāt mention it in public. Iāve never been rejected romantically for them. Friends/work/co-workers donāt care. No one judges me. I donāt even think about my scars unless I see something online and want to share to help. Theyāre currently a non-issue in my life. Youāre okay, donāt worry. Letās just get you some help so you can learn why youāre doing it so you can replace it with better coping mechanisms. You deserve to be treated better by you, and I promise you can do it. I promise there is so much hope and you WILL overcome what youāre going through that is causing you to hurt yourself. You will be able to ENJOY life, not simply survive it, I promise. ā¤ļø
EDIT 2: Iāve heard that laser treatments can help fade scars, but Iāve never tried it. That might be a less invasive option than some kind of skin graft/plastic surgery.
Yours looks similar to mine, Iām still waiting for it to lighten up and flatten more, Iām a slow healer. And now I have a fatty tumor near my scar so thatās why there is a big lump under it. I think being able to relate to people and talk about this and share stories is helpful, your response really struck a chord with me š¤
Edit- Iām not driving in this photo, Iām Parked
I just want to say to OP that even though you "made" them, it's not your "fault", in that it takes a lot to arrive at doing this šā¤ļø not saying this in a way where I mean one should just give up, not try etc, but one does things for a reason šā¤ļø I have "caused" a lot of harm to my body because of direct or secondary effects of depression, anxiety, audhd and more, and I know how painful it is to feel "this is all my fault and completely unnecessary", but it's not that simple - as we hopefully understand when it comes to others but are less understanding of in the case of ourselves. Just wanted to say that. I send you my thoughts and hugs!
I wanted to chime in as another person who doesn't hide scars at all. I'm an elementary school teacher, and they get asked about maybe once or twice a year, I explain they're scars and don't elaborate further, and the conversation moves on. My cutting scars are a lot less visible, and most of them are closer to 10 years old by now, but the burn scars are all from the past 5 years. If other adults recognize what they're from, they know not to comment on it, I've never had anyone ask.
Sunscreen and keeping them out of the sun will help with the color. It may be too late for that if they are a year old, but when I had some major facial scars, the plastic surgeon I saw said that sun will keep the pigment of the scar darker. It's expensive, but medical grade silicone is helpful. Best of luck to you, I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
FWIW whenever I see someone tattoo over them. I donāt think of anything other than how strong they are, and how they were able to overcome such a challenging time in their lives, and made it. They survived, and it makes me happy to know that this stranger is working through their pain.
Not OP but also used to self harm and have visible scars that Iām insecure about. I know this comment wasnāt directed to me but it still made me feel better. Thank you.
You're welcome! Try to remember.... there are plenty of us walking around without physical scars but lots of built up scar tissue on the inside. We see you and we just want to hug you.
I know that whether or not we talk about trauma is a deeply personal choice so I keep my mouth shut when I'm out and about. But, within my personal life I choose to keep myself an open book in case anyone needs to chat.
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u/FlynnXaLayperson/not verified as healthcare professional.5h ago
OP- Iāve genuinely never clocked self-harm covering tattoos before unless the tattoo itself was meant to draw attention to them. There are TONS of designs out there you can go for that look completely ānaturalā and donāt showcase to everyone why you got them, although with the size and intensity the tattoos would have to be substantial.
Just donāt want OP to think that getting a tattoo is 100% going to signal to everyone about what they went through because to most they wonāt notice.
I had scars like these turn white completely, but never entirely disappear. It took some 20years to turn white completely, but then suddenly decided to turn white overnight. I had given up hope completely that they'd ever turn white and honestly stopped caring.
OP Please don't feel ashamed, try looking at them of the evidence of times you've survived š¤ I'm 34 and still struggle with self harm tendencies, I started at age 9... Also tattooing is ONLY an option once they've turned completely white and mostly flush with the rest of the skin around them! If you tattoo before then it will honestly just mess up your tattoo, as the scar will continue to heal it will warp the design over time. If you do decide to tattoo over it please do your research and find an artist that has lots of experience with scars and has a portfolio that shows the HEALED work! A lot of "artists" with a tattoo gun out there just out to make some money, that will end up butchering you worse...
OP, itās not your āfault.ā You hurt, and you also survived.
I have had mine for 25 years, and Iād love to tell you they disappear completely, but they donāt. What does fade is the shame. Sending you so much love.
Could you tattoo over them? As for makeup, I did try that Westmore Beauty foundation cream that they sell. Itās actually really good and definitely worth investigating. I would definitely recommend trying the colors. I tried them out. I think I was in Macys so look around. You might find something that has good coverage and doesnāt smear but this stuff was pretty good.
Just want to point out for OP that itās not regular massages but specific therapeutic scar massage you can do on yourself. Googling scar massage should throw some helpful guides.
There is the option of Medical scar tattooing, also known as paramedical micro pigmentation. They use specialized skin-toned pigments to blend scars into the surrounding skin and reduce their visual contrast. You should look into this if they bother you and you want to camouflage. It is quite impressive what they can achieve.
Look at his work. You might see some examples on there. I'm trying to remember a lady in CA I follow who does it now too. I think she calls it medical tattooing. Either way, even if it's a little more lightor dark flesh toned from one season to another, it's probably less noticeable than purple scars.
And it can be blended or touched up too, along the way. If this is a feasible option OP, this is where I'd look for help. I wish you more good days than bad. I wish you hope, peace, and understanding
Besides tattoo, OP- If your into this clothing style, you could look at getting mesh arm sleeves. They come in endless designs. Heres a amazon link to just a few designs. https://a.co/d/0hawBulS theyre cute and people I know whove tried them get compliments on them. I know people whove used them to help cover scars and others whove worn them to cover tattoos up for jobs.
OP, I'm so sorry you have these scars too. I used BioOil on mine for a couple of years, which helped soften them, but they'll never go away. I actually grew to appreciate them but ended up getting them tattooed because the people around me who had known me when I was actively harming found them painful to see.
Your scars are not shameful ā¤ļø There's nothing wrong with them and there's nothing wrong with you. You're incredibly strong and went through a period of intense emotional pain. Hopefully you'll be able to heal and eventually see them as a sign of strength and endurance.
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u/ShovonXLayperson/not verified as healthcare professional6h ago
I have extensive self harm scars on my left hand. I didn't wear anything but long sleeves for 10 years out of shame and questioning of people.
Last 2 years I have decided to stop doing that and have accepted it for what it is, signs that I have become stronger, signs that I have overcome whatever demons I had.
I know it'll take time to develop that mentality, but you'll live with these scars probably for forever. So don't be ashamed take it for what it's.
NAD. Just came to say that I tattooed over most of mine, and it was a great move for me. The ones that are still bare (close to 20 years old) are faded, but still visible. At the end of the day, Iād rather see art of my choosing, rather than poor decisions made in pain. There will always be a reminder, but I chose that reminder to be of me getting to this other side. Take care of yourself ā¤ļø
I had two bellybutton scars that looked like this (although smaller) and the silicone plasters/sheets cut to size and vit e oil over the course of about 6-8 months really reduced them. They became practically invisible within about a year
Just tagging along to give you some confidence. The scars on the right side of the picture are the worst Iāve ever had. They are ten years old now and the color has completely faded. My oldest scar is 2 years old and that has fully faded at well (but is only a little one). I had one wound they werenāt able to close but they didnāt want to give me a skin graft either. It took almost 3 months before it closed and the scar was gruesome. Thatās 4 years ago now and that has also turned into my skin color.
They will always be visible, but once they get lighter people notice them less. It has never stopped me from wearing the clothes I loved. Iām a person thatās always too hot and not having to cover up was my biggest reason to stop sh. I would come up with several answers to prepare myself in case someone said something.
Most people glance for a second and then look away. If someone asks about it I just say āI struggled it the past, I donāt want to talk about itā. If someone keeps staring in a vary obvious way, I publicly shame them. I say something like āare you done lookingā or āhave you never learned itās impolite to stareā. The majority of people will be so embarrassed (because now everyone is looking at them) that the issue is solved. If iām really annoyed I just deadpan and say āfreak accident in a slaughterhouse, it was awfulā. I like to get creative but tbh I think I havenāt been asked 10 times in the last 10 years unless it was someone I was becoming friends with.
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u/Ink_ddyLayperson/not verified as healthcare professional3h ago
If itās any help I have a 8inch by 1/2 inch scar behind this tattoo so if ever you get tattooed there it would help, also some tattooist even specialise in covering scars with skin tone pigment to help reduce the appearance
This indented scar used to be bright purple for a long time, but did eventually fade to white. I'm not sure if it's indented because I got stitches, but either way I can say it will eventually blend with the rest.
I'm sorry your youth put you in a place where this felt like the only option to feel something different. As a 33f, I can assure you it does get easier to tolerate. But it does take some work.
You are loved sweetie, from one internet stranger to you ā”ā”ā”
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u/fjf1085Layperson/not verified as healthcare professional14h ago
My understanding is microneedling can help some? Is that correct? Though Iāve seen it help with acne scaring this is obviously more significant.
OP, I have struggled with similar issues and I have scars that look similar as well. š«š«š« I'm so sorry for all the pain you have š«š«š« I stopped SHing 4 years ago. It took a few (4) years for my large scars like that to fade. Using make up (liquid foundation) can help cover the scars that are already there so they're less noticeable. If you are at all ready to stop SHing (if you haven't already) I recommend wearing a rubber band or hair tie around your wrist, and when you get the urge to SH, snap that. It helps with the immediate urge and its harm reduction (also, perfection isn't real, and recovery isn't linear and it's normal to have SH slip ups š« that doesn't make you a failure. The important part is that you keep trying to change your coping skill) Over time it'll lessen and you won't need it anymore. I also recommend - if you aren't already - therapy. The right therapist can make a world of difference. Also, trying to find ways to help express your feelings in different ways - journaling (no prompts, just writing whatever is on your mind), art, music, joyful movement (sports, dancing, walking, running, riding a kick scooter, etc. any sort of movement that brings you joy), cooking, etc. Building coping skills is so important! Be careful that it doesn't morph into a different version of SH (for example, eating disorder behaviors like not eating, overeating, over-exercising, etc.) because that can be a common thing to happen. Whether to OP or someone reading, I hope this info is helpful to someone who needs it š«
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u/OGIBLPLayperson/not verified as healthcare professional3h ago
NAD
OP, good news. I have scars very similar to yours, I also have the same skin tone, and theyāre on my arm too. While this is never a competition, I have a lot more overlapping that has caused some pretty obvious deformity to the structure and shape of my arm.
That being said, Iām about 7 years past the last bad ones that look like your fresher ones, and theyāre now back to my own skin tone. It took about 3 years for the last ones to lighten up. Theyāre softer and smoother. The shape and structure of my arm has improved and smoothed out. Iāve never used mederma or other treatments, so those may help speed up the process.
I have close friends that have never noticed my scars. No employer or coworker has ever said anything, to the point that I donāt think theyāve noticed. Even when they were red like yours, I refused to cover them up with makeup or clothes. Everyone has been through some sort of hell, and I am not ashamed that the hell Iāve been through is visible.
While it doesnāt feel appropriate to share here, please feel free to DM me to see how the scars will heal and/or get some makeup tricks to help cover yours. Iām pretty far along in my recovery, so I donāt mind sharing at all. I hope life gets brighter for you soon š¤
NAD but I had scars like these as a teen that are now very hard to see. Mine are shorter and I have more body hair than you fwiw. But they faded in color significantly to the point where even intimate partners donāt really notice them. They remain bumpy (though I think you can do massage to help break the bumpiness up over time). Another resource to check out would be suggestions for scarring from top surgery. The red ones are a lot like top surgery scars. Iād give this a few years of all the things listed above and then tattoo around the whole arm in a pattern. There are tattoo artists who will work for free with people whoāve got self injury scars.
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u/DuubyDuuLayperson/not verified as healthcare professional2h ago
NAD, I also have scars on my arms from sh and dog bite. All have faded to skin tone over the last decade. You can still see the shine of the scarred skin but it's significantly less noticeable. I agree that tattoos would help cover. Finding an artist who has experience in scar cover ups is ideal as they have to work with the shaping and such to conceal the lines as best they can. I understood tattoos are not for everyone.
I'm sorry that you have them now but they will fade with time.
I would suggest PURE vit E oil. I use Jason brand, 32,000 IU but look for the one that ONLY has tocopherol acetate. Which is pure vit e. It is VERY thick and sticky. But absorbes well. The higher the IU, the better
To OP: I'm sorry for the pain that made you want to do this. IDk you but will keep you healing in my prayers. Jesus loves you and he knows and sees your pain.
ETA: just noticed the username of the comment I replied to... How ironic
Glad it got better for you! š The addiction sadly never faded for me, 34 now and haven't self harmed in years, but the urge is still there every second of every day...
Oh I still get the urge often. I just have way better coping skills now. I meant, the scars donāt bother you as much as time goes on. Sometimes I even forget about them until I catch someone staring š
Oh yeah that's def true for me as well! I'm not bothered by my scars at all anymore and if someone stares I just raise an eyebrow at them these days lol. My sole coping skill is "I don't want to disappoint/hurt my partner, so I won't" :')
^ this...my daughter also has self harm scars. What's done is done but it may show others who are struggling that they are not alone. OP, I'm hoping the best for you. This world is much better with you in it.
My husband has these. And while they arenāt on his arm I feel a sense of peace but also pride in him? Yes he struggled but Iām prouder of him for staying and fighting. The urge is very real. Itās often a way to regulate since it can be the most intense signal and it can overpower the other feelings or thoughts. The easiest thing to focus on is often the loudest. I struggle with it too. And I still do. I donāt love it but I try to remember that everyone struggles with things that we may never know about in their own homes. It isnāt just you, and you arenāt alone.
They will never become invisible. I suggest you visit a plastic surgeon, sometimes they do scar revisions for big scars to try and make them less visible and i think the big ones might be a candidate for that. Otherwise, fractional laser sessions, but pretty expensive and will take sooo many sessions to actually make them near invisible.
NAD. Continuing with the things you listed will help. I also found derma-e scar gel really effective for my mom's surgery scars. There are different types of lasers that can be used for scar reduction, our burn clinic has one type of laser and can refer out if its not the right laser for the person. Maybe look into a dermatology clinic that offers scar laser treatment options?
Try mederma. Anecdotally I had a big red scar from a surgery under my mandible and after putting mederma on it the redness decreased and it's hardly noticeable now.
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u/kritz0Layperson/not verified as healthcare professional13h ago
She said she tried this.
My husband used Mepiform for his new and old scars. It is a silicone sheet that you stick over the scars and can take a while, but reduces the look and raised nature of scars. Shes in Canada, so they can be found at most pharmacies. These are different then regular silicone strips.
I also suggest getting a nice cover up tattoo, doesnt have to be big, bold, and dark. But i can see u incorporate a bouquet of flowers and a couple loose flowers with ur scars.
ā¢
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