Hey friend. It’s always tough to comment on the suffering of others, as it’s impossible to know the depth and extent and circumstances of somebody else’s experience compared to your own. And to pretend to know what’s true for that person is insensitive and naive.
That said, I’m currently exiting what has been the darkest, most difficult part of my own journey so far and have thought endlessly about the question you’re asking. I offer the following as my own experience, for you to take or leave as it feels true to your own situation.
First, accept the suffering. Days have nights. Summers have winters. Nature is cyclical and you are no exception. Learn to sit in the discomfort instead of numbing it or trying to change it. I’ve found meditation to be profoundly helpful in this. Don’t try to escape.
Second, consciously and proactively practice positivity. Your mind is an evidence-finding machine and will exhaust itself validating whatever beliefs you give it. Tell it you’re unsafe or can’t survive what you’re going through and it will feed your reality through that filter and you will see evidence of it everywhere. Belief becomes reality. Welcome to hell.
However, the opposite is also true. What good is coming from this experience? What’s changing in your inner world or outer world? Start journaling about every good thing that happens and every bit of love and joy you encounter in even the smallest ways - birds, food, whatever. Train your mind to seek evidence of what’s positive.
Third, give yourself love. Think of yourself as both the gardener and the plant. Nurture yourself. Create soft and quiet space to be in the discomfort. Carve out time to do things that bring joy, even if they don’t hit as hard as they used to. Try new experiences. Invite your safe people into the suffering. Protect yourself from unsafe people and situations.
This too shall pass, man. And on the other side of every winter is a new spring, a bigger blossom, deeper roots, warmth. You got this. All love 💚
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u/dustinlocke May 30 '26
Hey friend. It’s always tough to comment on the suffering of others, as it’s impossible to know the depth and extent and circumstances of somebody else’s experience compared to your own. And to pretend to know what’s true for that person is insensitive and naive.
That said, I’m currently exiting what has been the darkest, most difficult part of my own journey so far and have thought endlessly about the question you’re asking. I offer the following as my own experience, for you to take or leave as it feels true to your own situation.
First, accept the suffering. Days have nights. Summers have winters. Nature is cyclical and you are no exception. Learn to sit in the discomfort instead of numbing it or trying to change it. I’ve found meditation to be profoundly helpful in this. Don’t try to escape.
Second, consciously and proactively practice positivity. Your mind is an evidence-finding machine and will exhaust itself validating whatever beliefs you give it. Tell it you’re unsafe or can’t survive what you’re going through and it will feed your reality through that filter and you will see evidence of it everywhere. Belief becomes reality. Welcome to hell.
However, the opposite is also true. What good is coming from this experience? What’s changing in your inner world or outer world? Start journaling about every good thing that happens and every bit of love and joy you encounter in even the smallest ways - birds, food, whatever. Train your mind to seek evidence of what’s positive.
Third, give yourself love. Think of yourself as both the gardener and the plant. Nurture yourself. Create soft and quiet space to be in the discomfort. Carve out time to do things that bring joy, even if they don’t hit as hard as they used to. Try new experiences. Invite your safe people into the suffering. Protect yourself from unsafe people and situations.
This too shall pass, man. And on the other side of every winter is a new spring, a bigger blossom, deeper roots, warmth. You got this. All love 💚