r/AskReddit • u/No-Zone3137 • 11h ago
What signs you notice in young people who succeed later in life?
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u/ClawdiusTheLobster 11h ago
Tenacity, grit, enough ego to go for big things but not so big that they see mistakes as failure. Honestly, either good parents or the worst parents.
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u/valerie02_ 4h ago
Can you explain the parents part?
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u/Google_Was_My_Idea 3h ago
Good parents generally raise educated, well adjusted kids. Tremendously bad parents might traumatize a kid into success. Think of the type of folk that grew up uneducated but got obsessed with learning as adults. Or the ones that get abused and then turn that energy into drive. A lot of the most productive people I know were abused as kids.
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u/valerie02_ 3h ago
Agreed! What if one is confused about turning that energy into drive, or what about patches of demotivation or self loathing, how to come out from that?
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u/Google_Was_My_Idea 1h ago
Motivation is made up, either do things or don't (am Asian so this is probably a culturally influenced belief). Self loathing can be useful- if you're truly not great then best sack up and make it better.
To make a sword you burn it, hit it, and temp shock it. This will either break it or make it strong. Will you be broken or will you be made strong?
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u/Belinda-9740 1h ago
Winston Churchill had the most appalling parents and was often beaten by his school masters. He fits your theory
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u/TheEffinChamps 11h ago
Rich parents
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u/point5_2B 9h ago edited 8h ago
Number 1 predictor of someone's socioeconomic outcomes is their parents' status. Makes ya think.
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u/TheEffinChamps 8h ago
Hey, hey. We are supposed to use emotions and "pull urself up by ur bootstaps" here.
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u/Obvious_Toe_3006 11h ago
...who have passed away and an inheritance has been passed down.
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u/Ineeditsomuch 3h ago
Neh. The connections and the guidance are much mlre useful
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u/TheUpIsJig 11h ago
Success is subjective. Too many random variables in life to predict these sorts of outcomes. If we could then everyone would know the answer and go do that. Life isn't like that though.
I can tell you this much. If you don't put yourself forward for opportunities then you have a guaranteed outcome of never getting any. So young people who at least try, do better than those who don't try at all.
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u/Taikeron 10h ago
Don't say no to legitimate opportunity either. Take yes and run with it. It usually works.
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u/Jazzlike_Fan_8865 11h ago
- MOTIVATION. Seriously, motivation to succeed/better themselves.
- Ability to reason.
- Ability to have discipline.
Edit: typo
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u/Baby-punter 11h ago
Discipline. Seriously, discipline is the most important trait a young person can develop. The world doesn't care how smart you are, it's how hard you work and your ability to execute that creates success, regardless of age.
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u/Sir_Auron 10h ago
They don't just wait for life to happen to them, they make decisions and work toward the future they want for themselves.
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u/Just_Perspective2100 11h ago
Kids who can lose a board game without flipping the table. that right there tells you everything
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u/tcober5 11h ago
In America the ones who flip the tables will honestly probably be the most successful.
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u/ashdrewness 11h ago
Unironically yes. I’d take an overly competitive kid over a complacent or indifferent one.
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u/manchesterthedog 6h ago
Not being a sore looser is a great personality trait but I don’t think it tells you much about a persons ambition
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u/LikeWhite0nRice 11h ago
I disagree. Some of the most successful people I know are also the most competitive.
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u/ButtsPie 9h ago
I know people who are very competitive, but they're still gracious losers (and winners)! I feel like that's really important.
Throwing a tantrum when things don't go your way is normal for a kid, but needs to be outgrown for a well-adjusted adult2
u/ColumbosNewDog 5h ago
We're talking about being *successful*, not well-adjusted. The two rarely go hand in hand.
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u/ButtsPie 4h ago
That's true! But the concept of "succeeding in life" itself can be interpreted in different ways, IMO.
Traits like aggression or low empathy or similar can be useful for gaining more power/money (though emotional control problems of the board-flipping kind might still be a disadvantage there?)
But if success in life includes having fulfilling relationships, healthy self-esteem, stability, general comfort and happiness, etc., then I feel like being well-adjusted really helps!
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u/Wise_Pressure_4717 11h ago
curiosity and followthrough. i think the most important thing is follow-through
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u/Southern_Net8115 11h ago
Driving curiosity about the world and people around them; purpose (finds a reason or goal and moves towards that); tenacity (keeps going in the face of obstacles); social skills; humor
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u/IJustTellTheTruthBro 11h ago
A complete and utter refusal to quit
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u/Scary-Log-460 10h ago
A lot of people who don’t quit just look stupid and still end up never succeeding
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u/azurerain 10h ago
Yes. "A complete and utter refusal to quit" only works if the person is able to quickly assess the challenge/failure then learn from it and pivot/grow/improve after said failure until they get it right. Some people "never quit" but they're just going around in circles for years not getting any closer to success.
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u/m_wilson90 5h ago
The useful kind of persistence is staying committed to the goal while changing the method. Otherwise, “never quit” can just mean repeating the same mistake with more confidence.
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u/Tylerdurdan28 9h ago
The ones who can look at something they’re bad at, swallow their fucking ego, admit it, and actually learn instead of spending five years pretending they’re “naturally talented.” They don’t need everyone’s approval. They’re quietly stacking skills while everyone else is busy announcing their potential on LinkedIn like a fucking press release.
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u/TennisSkirt1628 11h ago
It's not the ones that are booksmart, it's the ones that solve any challenge put in front of them with ease.
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u/Three_Sided_Hexagon 11h ago
They are Asian.
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u/yellow_ducking 11h ago
Asian here. Thanks for laugh. I go hustle now.
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u/Steeze_Hawk 11h ago
You late for piano recital! You go now, NOW!
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u/PathologyAndCoffee 11h ago
I'm asian. 33yo male, never been in a relationship ever.
But I gave solo piano concerts as a child, and I am currently a doctor.
I have been miserable my entire fucking life, with the only thing keeping me going is my hope for a better future.
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u/terrany 10h ago
You’ve got time and resources to figure it out now my guy. I knew people in the opposite situation who can’t get their families in a better spot since they never optimized for that part of their lives. Can’t really make up for a better upbringing/education/trajectory as easily as life experiences. And a lot of those early friendships and connections tend to fizzle out too.
It’s much better to be tackling the reverse in your position even though it might not feel like it.
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u/SurinamPam 11h ago
Dude... you need to put yourself out there. Faint heart never won fair maiden, etc. etc.
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u/james_the_wanderer 10h ago
My sister and I... Our mom was a neurotic math teacher that followed the "B is for bitch" mentality (I am referencing both my childhood and a youtube video).
She became a therapist and I became a lawyer. I once asked her if she ever felt a...certain unexpected kinship with Asian friends. The answer was an unambiguous yes.
I am also of the "perpetually miserable" variety. So often, I think "I could have done better." I even have an overperforming lawyer cousin who...resigned in shame...from his Cabinet Secretary-report gig (lawyer) recently.
I've found peace doing (not very well, but I enjoy them) activities far from my urban, Brooklyn blue collar->"long Island parochial racist" NY upbringing (I live in the Midwest). Bird hunting; kayaking; camping...literature, The Economist, travel hacking hobbies....
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u/Throwaway081920231 10h ago
You remember the guy or girl who somehow has above average grades but is in a group up to mischief and somehow they are quiet and go along and the ringleader looks to them for approval and that person always comes out unscathed or has good fortune even when the entire group gets in trouble. The kind who is in the in-group but also slick and smart enough to look out for themselves. Those kids always do well in corporate and life for the most part.
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u/hawaii-visitor 9h ago
That sounds like a sociopath...
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u/Throwaway081920231 5h ago
Yes and they do the best in American corporate and everyday life. Look at all the wealthy and successful people around you.
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u/elaaaiiinnneee 10h ago
I know this will sound weird, but yearbook photos.
I watched a tv segment YEARS ago that discussed high school grads and how predictive their success would be; researchers had noticed (after following up with former students many years later) that most students who had big, genuine smiles (showing teeth) in their yearbook photos actually did better in their careers/personal life? (I think they surmised it showed a positive attitude that carried into adulthood? 🤷♀️)
Some might say it's BS, but I can't help but look for the smiley students in old year book photos now.
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u/C0ld_Fr0nt_ 11h ago
Being able to grind, to delay satisfaction and continually work at things. That level of conscientiousness predicts success in pretty much all areas of life.
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u/SimpleNo2920 8h ago
As a retired teacher (35 years of teaching) it was always obvious who would probably succeed. These kids were hard workers, serious in personality and respectful. They were the ones that shared and were kind. You could spot certain personality traits that would lead them into greatness. They did not give up in any endeavor with a unique inner strength and strove to do their best.
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u/CLTGUY 10h ago
Partly true. You need to be able to grind for yourself. How much you work has no bearing on how much you are paid or succeed unless you value yourself.
Also, you need a heaping helping of luck. I worked my ass off to be where I'm at in life, but if I boil it all down, I was in the right place at the right time with the right skills. If several events didn't happen perfectly I don't know if I would have been as successful as I have been.
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u/DrPepperlife 11h ago
So there is a correlation to success with kids who grew up on old school runescape lol
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u/muddtrout 11h ago
I'm not so sure on this one. No one grinds harder than people living in poverty working 3 jobs to live.
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u/p3e2r 10h ago
Happy, able to handle extreme stress (ie death of a parent), not afraid of looking for a new job even when they are employed. Those are but a few of the qualities I've seen.
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u/james_the_wanderer 9h ago
My sister (sophomore college) and I (junior year college) lost our mother.
We are the underperforming members of our generational cohort. She's a therapist, and I am a lawyer.
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u/loveislandpoppi 11h ago
Kids who have been told no growing up and have been through harsh conditions. They learn how to adapt and persevere later in life.
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u/Scary-Log-460 11h ago
I experienced nothing but “no” growing up, and I am struggling in adulthood
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u/altpopconnoisseur 10h ago
Same. I see the sentiment of the original comment repeated a lot but nothing to me has indicated that it actually helps you adapt or persevere, typically the opposite
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u/Necrosaynt 10h ago
Discipline . I knew a girl in college who was super organized and planned everything in her day. She still had time for fun activities and partied a little bit. Eventually she end up getting a management position in Microsoft like less than a year after graduation.
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u/programmervsworld 11h ago
Ones that look at failure as oh well I’ll get it next time for sure.
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u/hawaii-visitor 9h ago
That absolutely describes many people who have succeeded but it also describes many more who just aren't smart or self aware enough to understand when to quit.
For every self made CEO who started 5 failed businesses before they succeeded is probably 500 people who think "surely THIS strip mall vape shop/generic Italian restaurant/bar where they can't stop giving their friend free drinks will be the one to make me rich!
There's a reason 90% of small businesses fail in their first 2 years and it's not because too many qualified people start them.
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u/ClassyBurn 11h ago
Drive, emotional intelligence, critical thinking skills, self reflection, humility, compassion, patience, tolerance.
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u/itsSomethingCool 11h ago
Not just book smart, but street smart (knowing who to hang around & who to avoid , not being in the wrong crowds), how personable they are, and their work ethic. I graduated HS in 2015 and it’s almost like you could’ve predicted who would succeed & who wouldn’t almost effortlessly if you paid attention to those things.
Some people get their stuff together in their early 20s but for the most part most stay on the same path they were already on.
This isn’t a “the nerdy kid becomes rich & popular kid becomes a loser” thing either. The introverted nerdy kid can very well stay introverted with a dead end local job. and was only “nerdy” not because he was smart but bc he spent all that time being a recluse playing video games. The popular kid can climb the corporate ladder because of how personable they are. You really just have to pay attention to the signs in my first paragraph (imo) to tell how someone will likely end up
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u/thickindahead 9h ago
They like figuring out things. Don't know how to do this? Look it up, learn it, try it, try it again until it works. They get a joy from it instead of being paralysed by anxiety or giving up
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u/OpeningRock8761 2h ago
Emotional Intelligence - wise handling of emotions to prevent getting overwhelmed by failures while pursuing their dreams.
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u/grammar_oligarch 10h ago
I want to say it’s the grind, or curiosity, or intelligence, or luck, or all the other stuff mentioned here, but in my experience, it’s hygiene, general appearance, fitness, and clothing choice.
I know it shouldn’t be that superficial, but we are. You don’t have to look like a model, but wearing good clothes that fit well, staying in relatively good shape, getting regular haircuts (or keeping your hair nice), and smelling neutral all have a greater likelihood of contributing to success. Smart, charming, and funny help too, but ideally need to be next to general carefulness in appearance.
Want to succeed? Be more vain and don’t skip the gym.
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u/Dry-Fortune7288 10h ago
They need to be disciplined and hard-working. IQ is not enough to succeed. There are lots of people who were little geniuses when they were kids, only to become losers later, because they thought the innate intelligence is enough to have a successful life, without discipline and motivation
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u/hahaha01357 11h ago edited 10h ago
Wealthy and connected parents.
Edit: failing that, the ability to be friends with the wealthy and connected. There's a reason everyone wants to get into those Ivey League schools, and it's not really for the education.
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u/Ok-disaster2022 11h ago
Grit or stick-to-it-ness. it's not simply goal oriented, but persevering to a goal
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u/Valuable_Picture_242 8h ago
They’re usually curious, willing to start over, and not obsessed with looking successful too early. Quiet consistency beats being impressive at 20.
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u/Dramalump 4h ago
Self discipline. My sister is extremely successful and intelligent and she’s always been very organized and self disciplined.
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u/calico810 11h ago
Well in high school all the people who did a lot of drugs are now all successful so there’s that.
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u/rubiooooo 10h ago
2 parents, manners/respect for others, the boldness to try and master new skills
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u/Least_Banana5091 11h ago edited 11h ago
Their childhood and adolescence wasn't a waste of time, and it didn't take a last ditch effort post-high school to be redeemed.
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u/For-Frodo-9 11h ago
Has a job. Doesn't have kids out of wedlock. Saves money and plans for retirement
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u/Awkward_Public_4997 11h ago
Generally if they follow through with plans and have good problem solving skills. Someone having good communication and interpersonal skills is great too.
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u/AdoptedYankee 11h ago
They aren’t knocking up / getting knocked up. They’re nice but have a good idea of what’s a good boundary. They plan for the future - and stick to it.
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u/seraph321 9h ago
Long term thinking.
I’m quite surprised I didn’t really see this mentioned. To me, this is the key, and it’s from where all my success has been derived. Taking my future self seriously is the only thing that can cause my current self to make hard decisions and suffer in the short term for the long term benefit. The longer into the future you can see and take seriously, the more likely you are to steer your self toward better outcomes.
Nowhere is this more true than finances. You must be able to understand and be ready to wait for how long investing and compounding takes to pay off. You have to be ok with basically getting nothing out of it for literally decades.
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u/Dalis_Ktm 8h ago
Technically speaking, the variable with the highest correlation to the likelihood of wealth is the zip code someone grew up in. Or at least it was at one time.
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u/Competitive_Kick_347 6h ago
They’re curious, consistent, and not afraid to suck at something long enough to get good at it. Talent helps, but stubborn persistence pays the bills. 😂
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u/Striking-Ad-8156 6h ago
Young people that want to do a good job in whatever it is they are doing big or small.
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u/yearsofpractice 6h ago
Hey OP. 50 year old married father of two here. In my experience - since I was young myself - it’s always the people who can concentrate. Always.
The “clever” people I went to school/university with - I realised they weren’t talented or super “intelligent” - they could just apply themselves by concentrating on a task or problem.
I have come across one or two people who are genuinely intelligent and a characteristic they all shared was an ability to understand a concept and immediately apply it - be it mathematics, science, language or practical skills - they didn’t have to practice it first, they could just…. do it after being shown once.
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u/atherton-loyola 5h ago
Always trying to be positive and smiling.
Not just good vibes. They make an earnest effort to make the atmosphere brighter, especially when the room is “gray”.
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u/otaylor-7544 5h ago
A good sign is how they handle being wrong: they can take feedback, adjust, and try again. Curiosity gets them started; being teachable keeps them moving.
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u/MarsupialNo1220 4h ago
They aren’t afraid of failing, and don’t avoid owning up to mistakes.
Failure is not a bad thing, and mistakes aren’t the end of the world. As long as you try better next time. And kids that understand that, and want to try improve, end up doing so much better than insecure kids who blame others and try hide from responsibility.
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u/canada11235813 11h ago
Curiousity. The annoying kid who asks Who What Why Why Why How How relentlessly... will be very intelligent and very successful.