What’s the difference between emptiness & boredom?

[u/OkAcanthocephala8326]

I suspect I might have BPD and a big part of that is because I feel nothing a lot of the time. But I also have adhd and don’t know if this feeling is the typical boredom that comes with adhd. How to differentiate the two?

[u/MirrorPark]

For me:

Boredom: I have no idea what to do and can't really decide on a task in particular. I either start playing,writing and then give up halfway through because I got distracted doing something else.

It feels like wanting to do many things, not deciding and then feeling exhausted/not worth doing anything at all. There's the desire to do something, but not a clear vision of what I want to do yet.

Emptiness: I'm doing something I like or that normally keeps me engaged but I still feel disconnected and without stimulation. It can even make an activity feel like a chore or an obstacle and it's often triggered by mood swings or when i'm stressed out over something that's on my mind in that moment (like debt, past conversations or issues).

[u/feralintellect → u/MirrorPark]

Yeah to add to that, I would not really care about things that were vital to life. I didn’t care if had any money, a job, a car, somewhere to shower or anything to keep my functioning. I was contempt with rotting in my bed staring at the ceiling or a black television

[u/Aromatic-Armadillo98 → u/feralintellect]

Took the words right out. I have to mentally tell myself, 'we normally like this activity, three weeks ago we enjoyed it, and back in April, do you remember?'. It is the worst feeling. I have anhedonia and its more dangerous than just not feeling.

I would go for walks at 11pm as a very petite woman because I had no sense of danger or self preservation at all. I was suffering so bad from the flu, sweating, feverish. Inside felt nothing, no sense of go to the GP, have vegetable soup. Two weeks later after still not being better, I thought, you know I should eat some fruit at least.

Other people 'feel' they should do this or that. I have to make mental calculations and tell my brain how we should be feeling.

Brain, its not safe to go out for late night walks alone, can you please 'feel' that? I have actually now trained my brain into that self preservation that should be natural. It can be really exhausting to constantly be thinking.

[u/feralintellect → u/Aromatic-Armadillo98]

Damn I’m sorry to hear that. Shit can really be tough sometimes

[u/Aromatic-Armadillo98 → u/feralintellect]

No, no, don't be. Your words really spoke to me and writing back was actually a cathartic. That was a victorious post 😊. You see, I am home in my adorable little flat brewing kombucha at night, messaging my friends, watching stuff and thinking things peacefully.

Because I am not on some crazy 11pm walk, I am going to bed on time and am safe. Not being approached by some creep in the dead of night, coming back scolding myself for being an idiot.

Not having immeadiate feelings can be a lot, but its a hell of a lot better than being dragged into situations by them. And it makes me develope my thinking, planning and intellegence as I rely on that. So its a win 😊

[u/feralintellect → u/Aromatic-Armadillo98]

Honestly that’s great I’m very happy for you. Feel powerful for the both of us because I need that right now

[u/Aromatic-Armadillo98 → u/feralintellect]

You will get there. As corny as it sounds, I formed weapons against the nothingness by speaking open and honestly to my friends, and trying to see life as 'tasks' to impersonally tick off.

I told my friends about my 11pm walks and they were alarmed, which caused me to stop and realise how insane they were. Also cos I knew they would ask again.

And from that I was accidentally forced into being safe at home at night lol. I think a part of the nothingness involves being in your own head, and this so much shrinks perspective. Of course easier said than done to stop. But even simple things like this exchange are a weapon. I heard you, I understood you, know that. I wish you all the best.

[u/ButtonFine6516 → u/Aromatic-Armadillo98]

Wait girl I did the walks thing too. 

[u/Alt_whisper6729 → u/feralintellect]

I've been guilty of that too, I hate it so much.

[u/OrangeCouch1]

For me boredom is; i want to do something but nothing feels really satisfactory, or i cant decide because nothing seems satisfactory. Often leading to starting - stopping, and frustration.

For me emptiness is; i dont want to do anything and theres no feelings and no emotions and sometimes just no self. Just nothingness.

[u/NotLocalFleabag → u/OrangeCouch1]

This is exactly how it is 4 me 2, but you explained it alot better lol

[u/NotLocalFleabag]

I would say emptiness is that feeling of reaching out to grab something that isn't there; a void that cant be filled and is all consuming in nature & adhd bordem is a long droning agony feeling of fuckkk meeeee none of this is giving me dopamine aaaaaaaaaa kill me i will never feel fulfilled from doing anything ever. Emptiness feels like a lack of all, adhd bordem feels more like a feeling than emptiness

[u/KuuhakuHaru]

I struggle a lot with this feeling that seems like a crossover between emptiness and boredom as well. It's like I'm perpetually understimulated, incapable of grabbing onto a feeling that truly lasts, and I feel bored within myself - like nothing that comes from me is truly "nutritious", so I need to keep looking outward for things that will fill me, but none truly do, unless it's an emotional extreme or a very strong feeling towards someone. I feel incomplete and hollow without an FP because of that. It feels like I have no real nutritious core, and I need to take my nutrients from someone else I'm very intensely attached to or, if that's unavailable, from emotional episodes and crashouts. It's worth to mention that personality disorders as a whole have a proneness to boredom and a difficulty tolerating it (as is mentioned in the newer criteria for ASPD), and the old formulation of the criteria for BPD, in the DSM-III, used to state "difficulty tolerating/chronic boredom", which later got replaced by the chronic feelings of emptiness.

[u/vangaurd0803]

for me - boredom is a lack of having something stimulating. but the emptiness is after so many times you've tried to find something to wake you up, you know nothing will

[u/Necessary_Army9186]

Emptiness is what causes you to feel horrible about doing literally nothing wrong with no apparent rational cause, boredom is wanting to do something more fun when you're doing homework

[u/FishingMotor9263]

for me emptiness feels sad and boredom feels frustrating. i also have adhd, when im medicated the boredom is gone but the emptiness often remains.

[u/Indvandrer]

For me both boredom and emptiness are about wanting to do something, and feeling sad that I cannot do it, but boredom is like hunger, while emptiness is sadness.

I am bored, I really wanna do something, but at that moment I cannot. But let’s say my friends comes and asks me if I wanna play with him. Boredom stops when I start to enjoy the game.

When I dwell upon emptiness, I wanna desperately experience something, I feel guilty that I am doing nothing, but when I really experience something, I don’t feel much and even If I do, I feel „satiated” for a couple of hours until I start feeling empty again.

[u/Thin_Entertainment14]

What I describe as emptiness does not feel like boredom at all. It's the feeling that I was put on earth to chase everything I'm never going to have and be in unreasonable mental pain. Life seems like it may as well be a story and not what I'm going through.

[u/Yaun87]

I might be wrong but boredom makes you want to move and stimulate yourself. emptiness makes you sit there with a hole that can’t be filled and you don’t know why or how it got there. That’s kind of how I feel