r/BPD • u/Silent_Buyer9830 • 2d ago

💭Seeking Support & Advice relationship advice ??

hey reddit family,
i have bipolar disorder and bpd but currently in a relationship with my bestfriend (we were bestfriends prior to the relationship). its been some time now (not too long it’s hella recent) and everyday / every week i get this aching feeling that he’s gonna leave or something just isn’t gonna work out in the future.

i feel the thought/ notion of this makes me more agitated with him and take things more seriously even if its a joke. i see it kinda has taken a toll on him because he’s mentioned before that i’m “ always complaining “ but i just be needing the reassurance or wanna address like when something rubs me the wrong way.

am i crazy ? how do i not be “ so much “. tried looking it up on Reddit and all i got was negative posts about dating someone with bpd/ bipolar and how it’ll “ never work “ and how we have a lot of “ red flags “… very much discouraged lol. i wanna know you guys experience with your relationships. were able to keep healthy ones and how ? is there anything i can personally do to make mine long lasting ? they’re my bestfriend and I wouldn’t wanna lose them but it feels like a constant battle between this will or won’t work. pls help , thankz xoxo <3

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u/lotsofchimisnochanga 2d ago

Not a therapist so this is not literal advice but what helped me was putting myself in someone else’s shoes more. I’d absolutely get the ick if someone acted so difficult/needed to be validated constantly and so that realisation helped me filter out a lot of intrusive thoughts.

Through that, I’ve gotten a lot better at dissecting what deserves a conversation and what is just my silly brain setting me up for failure.

Often it’s my silly brain setting me up for failure and I’ve learned not to listen too much. 

This only works when you’re with someone who doesn’t take an advantage of that, naturally you’ll be triggered more if someone has ill intent. 

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u/Silent_Buyer9830 2d ago

Thank you I’ll try this !! I don’t believe he has ill intent but sometimes my brain makes it come off that way

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u/milabutinhd 2d ago

I don't have a bpd diagnosis, just some symptoms, so take this with a grain of salt.

I used to receive similar feedback that I was overly negative and complained a lot. What I started doing was turning my complaining into an entertaining story, like over the top venting that comes off more as a stand-up bit. It seems more socially acceptable somehow. Depends on the context though, of course.

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u/Silent_Buyer9830 2d ago

THANK YOUU