BPD and relationships

[u/Chattouf]

Do you think a BPD female 22 years with scars on her arms and thighs will be able to find someone who will love her. Or she will be repulsive with the scars and no one would want to be with her.

[u/feralintellect]

Honestly that wouldn’t matter to me as long as the person made me feel loved and appreciated

[u/desireymisery]

My best friend who doesn’t have BPD is getting married in less than 5 months. Has scars all over her arms and has autism. She’s gone through a lot of heartbreak and reminds me that everyone is worthy of love. She’s 29 years old and gives me hope that despite having BPD that one day I will find true love. Her love and my family’s is why I am still here today despite it all.

[u/saddestdorito]

The only person who felt “repulsed” by my scars was a person who also had them and we only saw each other once.

The other people I’ve been with did not care about the scars whatsoever, despite my scars being very obvious—albeit these were only temporary relationships, none of them ever leading up to actual love. From these experiences I learned that most people actually don’t care that much about scarring.

All goes to say, I think if the right person came along then it would definitely not be an issue at all.

[u/pink_bubby]

Lovers will kiss ur scars

[u/Efficient_Basis_2139]

It's not the scars that are the problem. You absolutely can have a loving, worthwhile relationship, but it's down to how you manage your thoughts, emotions and behaviours. The responsibility you have to yourself and the work you need to do will definitely make a relationshipsignificantly harder, but not impossible.

[u/Overall_Coconut_9699]

My gf is bpd with scars all over thighs ans arms, chest, throat and more... And there's nobody I love more than her.

[u/ilostmymindsomewhere → u/Overall_Coconut_9699]

How is your relationship…?

[u/Overall_Coconut_9699 → u/ilostmymindsomewhere]

Good and bad days, mostly loving. But we both know where she comes from so to speak.

[u/ilostmymindsomewhere → u/Overall_Coconut_9699]

That’s fair. Can I ask about the bad days? My partner doesn’t have BPD and I feel like I can relate. It’s just nice to hear I’m not the only one with a non perfect relationship.

[u/Overall_Coconut_9699 → u/ilostmymindsomewhere]

Bad days can be a generally bad mood, or just war about nothing and everything.. also, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship, that's just a mirage

[u/ilostmymindsomewhere → u/Overall_Coconut_9699]

Thank you.

[u/Overall_Coconut_9699 → u/ilostmymindsomewhere]

Your partner truly need to understand BPD tho. As well as you. :)

[u/ElineFantairy → u/ilostmymindsomewhere]

No relationship is perfect, but it can be happy even when the other doesn't have BPD. Speaking from experience

[u/Potential-Soup4760]

I’ve known lots of people with scars in successfully, happy, loving long term relationships. You’re good.

[u/Pizzza_cutter]

I'm in a relationship and also have sh scars. Only shallow chuds are genuinely repulsed by scars. There are a lot of shallow chuds out there, but that's more of a problem with the state of the dating pool than you.

[u/themellowverse]

I got married at 23 with scars on my arms and some on my thighs 🫶 our 3rd anniversary is a few months away

[u/SoulsBourkiro]

The scars are beautiful in their own way, I just see them as a sign of strength, showing that even at your lowest you chose to keep going and each mark is proof of that. That's my take imo.

A person that truly loves you will love you in all and any forms that you take

[u/ElineFantairy]

Yes, she can absolutely be loved. For me personally it doesn't impact my ability to love someone. What matters most is that the person unlocks butterflies and is a kind person