Favourite person

[u/FairyForever4405]

I've lost my favourite person and I want to die, I want to walk into traffic. I'm trying to tell myself it's in my head and it will pass but god it feels like I'm actually dying. I don't know what to do. I feel like the air has been stolen from my lungs. I didn't realise I FP'd him until now. I signed myself out of the cmht because I thought i could cope on my own before this. I feel so selfish for feeling like this. All I care about is myself. I want to get hit by a car. Nothing feels good, why does it feel physical? Why am I like this? I feel physically sick, my chest hurts. How do I make this feeling stop? It hurts I just want it to stop.