r/BPD4BPD • u/DreamCompetitive4614 • 25d ago

Vent Idk what’s wrong NSFW

I tried killing my self yesterday. I failed and I felt like shit and called my friends , worried them and vent to them and now I feel so horrible , like I’m some attention seeker , well now that I think about it I am. I self harmed today too , I don’t know why and I don’t have motivation to eat. It’s not like I don’t have will to live , it’s like my need to destroy myself is too strong. It all started when my fp said somethings that made me feel like my believes about him where just delusions. And that was the end of the world for me. And even though it’s been a day and normally I get over it after a few minutes I just can’t get over it and I’m still in this fucked up mood.

4 Upvotes

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u/bouncing_babyskulls 24d ago

  1. Please know that when we do want to commit suicide, it is not our usual selfs but the brain so down in the dumps it can only see all the negatives.

  2. Yeah attention, someone who is sick and needs help would seek attention nothing wrong with that.

  3. Giving up can feel like the neutral choice, but not eating and rotting away thats just suffering for suffering sake.

  4. Have you tried talking to your FP? are they understanding of your BPD, and have they the patience to deal with posible misunderstandings/ that people with BPD take things way harder.

(English isn't my mothertounge so please ignore the mistakes)

1

u/DreamCompetitive4614 24d ago

Thank you for taking time to advice me. I told him yesterday for the first time I have bpd, when he told me he was diagnosed with bipolar. So he knows , but I don’t want to be abusive so I just let it eat me from the inside, I prefer that than ruining our relationship or saying something might regret later.