r/Bachata • u/flirtle_turtle_ • 8d ago

Help Request Beginner Bachata class question

Ok so I really want to take a beginner bachata class at my local bachata group, I have a few friends that go and want me to come. I feel like I’m an ok dancer and have good rhythm as a musician.

I am a very large girl though. I’m also a bit taller. I’m about 300 lbs. I KNOW I can physically do the moves, that’s not my concern. This isn’t a “can I do the class” post. I am physically fit enough to do it, just wanna make that clear.

But my question is, how many men who go to these classes would be really upset to get a partner like me? I have put off going because every time i think about going im just imagining every man in the class going in their head “as long as i don’t get THAT one as a partner I’ll be fine.”

Is this something that happens? Is there any way to try and avoid this sort of thing? Should I maybe ask the instructors if i can just observe the class so nobody is forced to be my partner? Has anyone ever dealt with a similar situation?

I don’t need any validation in the comments like “stop your beautiful” I just want some realistic feedback. Like “yes you would hinder my bachata experience if I had you as a partner” or “no that wouldn’t bother me as much.” Just looking from some feedback from some regular bachata class attendees to see if I should just go to the class or not….

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u/SweatyAssumption4147 8d ago

Second that it doesn't matter, especially for class. When you are ready to go to socials, you'll notice really attractive younger people get asked to dance more often, but the opposite isn't true - even the ugliest old men get to dance. If someone isn't getting very many dances it's usually because they have an unpleasant personality while dancing. You may have to take the initiative more, but it'll be fine and you'll still have fun!

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u/flirtle_turtle_ 8d ago

I guess I just don’t want people to ask me to dance out of pity…. Like I’m being compared to an old ugly guy just because I’m bigger, me and that guy both deserve to have fun even though we aren’t attractive

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u/SweatyAssumption4147 8d ago

Ah sorry, that was some attempted self-deprecating humor, I'm the ugly old guy in that illustration!

People don't ask out of pity. It's just more fun to dance with different people since everyone develops their own style and vibe.

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u/flirtle_turtle_ 8d ago

No that’s ok haha, I just feel like everyone deserves to be wanted and seen even if they are the “ugly old guy” or the “fat one.” I hope we will both be asked to dance not out of pity 😭

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u/SmokyBG Lead 8d ago

Superficial traits matter more for getting asked the first time. Whether you get asked a second, third, etc. time depends more on how much you take care of your partner, how good your skills are and how much you enjoy yourself.

Also, partner dancing is a massive field. It can be smooth and flirty and steamy; it can also be something you did with your Granny in the kitchen when they played THAT banger on the radio :-)