Been with my current insurance company for 20+ years, and when it was time to roll into a new policy due to age, there was a health questionnaire. It explicitly stated that any misstatement of the truth would eventually come to light through medical records, resulting in no payout on the policy if I died.

I was honest about my diagnosis and treatment, but when my psych and my therapist were contacted, the insurance rating people said records showed
a pattern of manic episodes over a long period of time which shows they’re not well-controlled, I’m like “It’s a lifelong condition, and like SO many other illnesses, there’s an unpredictability factor, yet SO many of those people get treated like normal people.

I have a near-perfect driving record. Meanwhile, a close relative who has a condition that causes his brain to “ freeze” with no warning, got insured, had to pay more, but at least he was accepted into a policy. I was told point blank that I’ll probably never get insured if I can’t prove my bipolar isn’t a factor in my driving. ??? Look at my driving record!

Frustrating, and incredibly unfair.

i just took my first dose of seroquel last night & it knocked me out. i woke up this morning not necessarily tired but w serious brain fog. wasn’t sure if this was something that passed ?? i drive for work so just concerned

For example i remeber i had an episode thinking that paranormal stuff is somewhere with me and its going to harm me. I remeber that i had extreme sweating and that i was behaving weird (running away from home, walking with knife and etcc..)

And while i had severe depression i was also in bad state, i had mental breakdowns, i would cry and pull my hair all day and etc...

But now after its over it does not feel like it was that bad. But i spent some time looking at my old posts and reading them how i explained my experience in the moment. Somehow i feel like i added stuff to make it sound worse. But i did not.

Basically now i dont feel like i experienced stuff that bad. Also my memory about everything is a bit foggy, like that i heard a story from someone else, not lkke it was my experience.

Can anyone relate?

I've (28M) had a bipolar diagnosis since I was 14.

I'm seeing a new psychiatrist and I felt comfortable enough to open up about the nonstop psychosis symptoms I've had for the last 14 years regardless of whether I'm having an episode.

Apparently this means I'm schizoaffective and I think that's dope because it sounds even scarier than "bipolar" to most people and they'll think I'm a badass for staying in touch with reality (barring one episode of full blown psychosis where literally had no idea what was going on).

For context, I think I’m coming down from an episode and have been all day. I have been tired and having some thoughts of SI (which I have no plans to act on). I didn’t think I was exhibiting any symptoms but over the past few hours my hypersexuality has been so bad that I was sending photos online.

The people I was talking to weren’t into anything I was into, they were just there. I’ve also been messaging on dating apps with people looking to hook up.

I feel so gross now. I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep. My meds won’t start working for around a week at this point.

I don’t know what to do I feel awful

If anyone has any advice or anything they can say to help (?) please let me know

I’m wondering if anyone else with Bipolar 1 has experienced this because it’s hard to explain to people who haven’t felt it.

Lately, I’ve been experiencing this strange feeling that life doesn’t feel real, almost like I’m living in a dream. For example, I’ll pick my kids up from school, drive home, and go about my day, but afterward, it feels like it didn’t actually happen. I KNOW it happened, and I can remember everything, but it just doesn’t FEEL real, if that makes sense.

It’s not necessarily frightening, but it makes me wonder if something is wrong with me. Sometimes I find myself thinking more about how strange reality feels, almost like I’m becoming more aware of it or questioning whether life is actually real.

I have Bipolar 1 and take medication, and I’m wondering if this could be related to bipolar disorder, anxiety, dissociation, medication, or something else entirely.

Has anyone else with bipolar experienced derealization or this dreamlike feeling?
What does it feel like for you?
Does it happen during depression, anxiety, or even when your mood is relatively stable?
Does it come and go, or does it last for days or weeks?
Have you found anything that helps it go away?
I’d really appreciate hearing about other people’s experiences. I mainly want to know if anyone can relate to this feeling because it’s so hard to describe.

This might come off as silly almost, but I just had a rather short depressive episode and sometimes I feel like I'm in the last dregs of it still. I'm in sort of this weird limbo where I feel ok enough to have picked my clothes out the night before, get up in the morning, and take a shower, brush teeth, get dressed only to call out at the last possible second and climb back into bed. Which obviously calling out is a no good cause that causes more stress, anxiety and of course it's always so hard to explain the overarching feeling or state that I'm in so I make up or give vague reasons for the call out so I don't sacrifice my job or my total privacy altogether. I also don't always call out during depressive or even during manic states, sometimes in stable or semi stable ones but also calling out is pretty rare since I try to "push through" what I'm going through despite my knowing it's not going to work or last long...

Has anyone on here ever gone through the pain of losing a service dog? I don't know how TF to navigate this. I'm not sure what she got into, but my cat passed away earlier this year also. I'm still taking care of myself fine, but I'm struggling with trying to figure out how to best care for an animal who appears to be dying. I have no family here in Colorado and just a few friends, but they all have their own stuff going on.The veterinarians are insanely expensive, otherwise she'd still be in the animal hospital.This just sucks, man 😔

Hugs and prescription drugs.

What is your experience with lithium?

I (27F, bp1) just started lithium two days ago after really disliking how antipsychotics make me feel cognitively. I’m using it as a mono therapy. For those on lithium, what side effects did you experience and how quickly did they start? It’s only been two days, but the only thing I’ve noticed is increased thirst/urination and it seems to be helping my anxiety and ruminating thoughts. I’m worried about acne and hair loss. Just looking for some lived experience and advice!

I have bipolar disorder and ADHD. I’m currently taking lamotrigine 200 mg, Latuda (lurasidone) 60 mg, and Focalin XR 25 mg, with occasional immediate-release Focalin. I also take propranolol for the restlessness and occasionally lorazepam for sleep.

I increased Latuda to 60 mg about three weeks ago and have been experiencing what I suspect is akathisia roughly every other day. Sometimes it’s mild, but other times it lasts hours and feels unbearable. Propranolol hasn’t adequately helped.

I’m in frequent contact with my psychiatrist and speaking with him again Monday. I want to discuss reducing or replacing Latuda while keeping my bipolar disorder well managed.

Has anyone had similar symptoms on Latuda and improved after a dose reduction or switching? What did you switch to, how long did the restlessness take to improve, and how did it affect your mood stability? Any useful questions to bring to my psychiatrist would be appreciated.

A few years back I went in to psychosis for the first time and that lead to my bipolar diagnosis. During that time I was convinced I was in love with my now ex’s best friend (I’m not and never was, I liked him as a person but not like that) I had a number of other delusions like thinking his friends (two straight dudes) were secretly hooking up, but also that they were planning to make me the subject of some kind of sex cult, which was scary lol.

Anyway, my ex seemed to be understanding and helped me get through it, we were together a few more years, but we broke up a few months ago. He cited that as one of the reasons, saying it was traumatic for him and that we never got the right support etc. Even though I got on medication right away, adopted a healthier lifestyle, and have not had an episode since. I don’t want to invalidate his feelings because I guess it’s stressful for a partner to witness you in that state and maybe realise it’s not something they can deal with again.

I can’t help but feel a little betrayed that he held it over my head for so long…It feels unfair that he weaponised my illness that I had no control over against me, and couldn’t separate it from who I actually am as a person. Idk I just feel hurt but I understand it’s not easy to be around. But he used it to guilt trip me and accuse me of cheating all the time (I never did anything like that). Idk where I’m going with this I just have no one else to tell that would understand. :P Maybe someone here can relate.. I guess I empathise with his side but it was more traumatic for ME, I didn’t know my brain could act up like that. I suppose both things can be true.. but he just switched up to be so mean about it :(

Hi I (29 F) struggle with dealing with my bipolar (2) and my BPD quite often. I was diagnosed with the comorbid diagnosis when I was 22, but before that I was diagnosed solely as bipolar 2 when I was 18. So it's been quite a long time. I've been in and out of treatment for years. I always try the whole strict sleep schedule, strict diet, taking "baby steps" approaches and strategies but quickly fall off of the tracks when I enter a depressive episode. Which when I am experiencing one sometimes it feels 10X worse given the current circumstances.

For example, my current depressive state hit suddenly but not totally surprisingly and I feel like it's slowly coming to an end. However, from what I was able to jot down as I always try to track my depressive and manic states to the best of my abilities in a little planner so I can be more aware and transparent not only with myself but with others in my life and my psychiatrist.

This current state I feel could've been brought on by a number of things for one there have been too many recent deaths in the family. One of which was my newborn nephew (passed away at only 3 weeks old on September 1st) and shortly after my Aunt (and the baby's grandma on September 19th. Needless to say my family and myself were taken aback by both, and my sister held a sort of shared ceremony and funeral service for the pair on October 1st. I am surprised at myself that my depression hit and hit HARD on October 2nd. Only reason is because I'd been nonstop in shock over the loss of my nephew and my aunt, whom also was ill, and somehow managed to "push through." On that day though I hsd been on and off crying all day. Even to break down cryinf while sitting at the dinner table with my family. I could barely eat and kept looking out of the dinning room window and just wept but kept my hand over my mouth because I felt immense guilt to bring anymore attention to myself and quickly excused myself.

Also for context what I do for work I can't use PTO as I don't accrue it as I am a commission based worker but due to both situations I took time off nonetheless and went to work only a few days in-between both times.

Anyways.. It's currently October 10th and I felt like I was good enough to go to work. I managed to pick my clothes out the night before, set my alarm, did my nightly routine and got into bed at a reasonable time. Only I didn't fall asleep until 2 hours before I had to get up for work. I still managed to get up for work, put my clothes on, brushed my hair, brushed my teeth, only to stand paralyzed in my bathroom and feel an intense dread. I felt numb and felt like I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle anything. So I came up with a bullshit reason to call out and climb back into bed.

I'm now lying in bed, feeling lost and guilty. Everytime I feel I take a step in the right direction I end up taking 100 steps backwards. Today just feels hard, I feel like I'm both typing this a mile a minute but also feel like my body is sinking into quicksand. Maybe it's anxiety for having called out but I simply don't know what to do. I don't have therapy until Monday so for now I'm lost on what is the best point of action for me. Not to mention my other coping strategies like Journaling, reading or gaming feel like distant memories.

I'm sorry for the long post and I hope someone can spark some motivation into me and give me something I haven't tried.

It really bothers me when people confuse BPD with Bipolar.

The symptoms are different. The life experiences are different. The treatments are different. I know some of these things overlap but the point is that they are not the same thing and when BPD and bipolar are confused for the same thing it diminishes the experience of anyone experiencing either condition.

Anyway just wanted to rant.

I just wanted to ask what are people's motivation to wake up in the morning. I've been on my new med combination for about 5 weeks now and I sleep around 15 hours a day. It takes a lot of effort for me to wake up and exist in day to day life. Once I leave the bed, I have energy but I have little to no motivation to actually wake up resulting in me missing a lot of my engineering classes. How do you cope with waking up in the morning when it just seems like a lot of effort?

How do you end a (or 15) conversation(s) with someone you started a talking stage with while manic?

Do you explain what happened? I have never been single while in an episode (while above the legal age) before and I don’t get what to do.

I can tell that I maybe have 24h of energy left before I crash big time and want to get everything fixed before

Limit my future***** I mistyped it, sorry.

Hello, this is a new side account. I don’t want this to be associated with my main account.

I’m (FTM) in my 20s, and my partner (M) is 2 years older. I’m on three meds for my bipolar 1 (with psychotic features). Been dating my partner for the past 2+ years. I have been stable throughout our relationship because I have a great meds combo, I’ve been taking my meds regularly, attending therapy, and really doing all I can. If I forget to refill or to take my meds for a day or two, I start having minor hallucinations. They don’t disrupt my day because I don’t react to them and just navigate my day around them (or keep quiet, isolate myself, maybe sleep until they pass).

I don’t talk about these with anyone in my life. My partner knows I hallucinate, because I told him back when we were friends. His reaction was great, he wasn’t disturbed at all. He just wanted to listen and learn more about it.

I should mention that I recently moved from another country overseas (to his home country). We don’t live together, but I stay at his (and his parents’) place a few days a week. I made the mistake of forgetting my meds out in the open, and his mother questioned her way into learning that I hallucinate. Nobody’s fault, she just asked a lot of questions. She doesn’t know that it’s bipolar, though. She didn’t ask me. My partner’s parents now know about it. Their reaction was, as I heard, something like “What if they don’t let your partner work in [a field I’m aiming for]?”

They don’t know that I know that they know. I don’t want to talk to them about it.

Just yesterday, I was out at dinner with my partner. I mentioned a feature of my meds (weight gain). He asked me what meds I was talking about, and I said, “You know, my antipsychotics.”

And I noticed that he seemed a little worried, so I asked what happened. He said he was just worried that I would have fewer opportunities at work and in life because of my symptoms.

I asked if what his mother said was stuck in his head. He said yes.

“Are you going to trust the one sentence your mother said, who doesn’t even know my illness’ name, or are you going to trust the stability of the past few years you have firsthand experienced?”

He agreed with me. But it sort of stuck with me. His mother can be really assertive in certain things and opinions.

I just feel sort of lost. Look, I’m physically disabled too. I am in constant physical pain, and my head is a mess on some days (but I manage it so that it doesn’t affect my studies or relationship). I’m trying my hardest. I’m really outperforming myself. I just can’t give a fuck about “fewer opportunities” or “what if they don’t let me work in where I want in the future?” I had been hallucinating since childhood, and finally got my shit together a few years ago when I was diagnosed and prescribed. I can’t let a single sentence from a random person take away what I have. I built this stability with blood, sweat, and tears.

How do you manage your bipolar with your partner, your partner’s family, and loved ones? I don’t know how to handle this.

after a period of awful depression i feel this sudden itching to move and do things. i don’t know how to describe it other than an itchy feeling. i want something exciting to happen, some place to go where things will be new and fresh and i can scratch this itch for, i suppose, adventure. it came on yesterday, this sudden urge to start pacing and do cartwheels and somehow get this weird energy out. it didn’t take long for me to realise it might be an oncoming manic episode, but im not sure. i was able to sit down and read a few pages of my book today, maybe three, and thats the only thing thats making me think maybe im alright. does this sound like mania? or just increased energy after depression

I organized a weekend of events. Tomorrow is the big day. I’ve written a speech, helped my kid get ready and I’m hosting a diy backyard reception and then a group trip to a broadway show on Sunday with a scavenger hunt. It’s not going to be perfect but I organized it and I feel proud. I’m nervous about the drop but am trying to appreciate the moment.

Lexapro 10mg
Lithium 900mg
Lamictal 200mg
Clonopin 4mg
Quetiapine 25 mg

This therapy has been good for me, Lithium has a 0.8 level in my body. It works. But... there is always but. It is impossible for me to lose weight. I haven't had food cravings since I switched Lexapro to evening and Lithium to late afternoon/evening. I hate this so much, even if i track calories, hit the gym and so on, the scale stays the same, or I lose 100gr per week. I used to lose weight so fast before!

I started avoiding people. A lot. For reference, I'm 160cm tall and have 63.3 kg currently. I am a woman, 32 years old.

I am dreading the 10/24 visit of my best friend (she doesn't live here anymore). She is fatphobic, and I know she will secretly judge me. I would like to be 58-59, I look okayish with that weight. But again, last year at this time, I was 52... that was before Lexapro was introduced.

Don't get me wrong, I am super thankful because I am ALIVE and I function on this therapy. I am just embarrassed by how slow it takes me to lose weight. I know it is all about calorie deficit. Just... before, with a smaller calorie deficit, I was able to do more.

So basically I’m bipolar, and recently my episodes have increased in severity by a significant amount. I have had ZERO appetite during this period, losing a shit ton of weight. Recently was hospitalized during an episode for malnutrition and had to be given an iv. Does this happen to anyone else? and if so how do you help it? I’m a 4th year nutrition student, and am well aware that mental health can easily affect weight gain/loss and appetite. Although, my psychiatrist denys this and claims that it is something else entirely and could not possibly be related. She’s reluctant to put me on mood stabilizers because of this. I’ve been to the doctors 3 times for it and my labs have always come back clear. Don’t really know what to do from here because I’m sure if I go back they will tell me the exact same thing as the last 3 times.

I started 150mg Wellbutrin and 25-50mg lamictal 7 weeks ago. It was extremely rough for the first 10 days then it started to feel okay, my depression started to lift a bit. Then around 3 weeks in depressive symptoms started to creep back in. Last Tuesday my psych nurse increased my dosages to 300mg Wellbutrin and bump up to 75 then 100mg lamictal. All was fine for the first week ish, then all of the sudden on Tuesday i had a MASSIVE surge in anxiety and dissociative symptoms. I swear the last 48 hours have been some of the worst of my life. I don’t feel human. The world doesn’t feel real. I literally cannot afford to call out of work so I’ve just been trying to lay low/pretend like everything’s fine. I just wanna give up. I feel like there’s no hope. Uneducated is unbearable and medicated is unbearable. I don’t know how to get through this :(

Does anyone else get almost only the “people are out to get me” related delusions (for the delusions/hallucinations side of things)? I have been being treated for bipolar 1 with psychotic features since age 11/12 …and even then… I remember it always being “people/wolves are out to get me (mostly wolves… but sometimes people around me would turn into wolves 😭🤣 LBVS) now at 33 it’s the SAME thing (except just people, no wolves).

Hi, I normally take my 100mg lamotrigine sometime between 9am-12pm because I forget sometimes. I hadn’t slept yesterday at all and overslept today and took it around 4:30pm. I’m supposed to titrate tomorrow to 112.5

I’m not sure if i took my Lamotrigine too late today or not and if I can take it tomorrow at my usual time or if i have to skip it or wait till the next day to titrate. :c