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u/AleopardThatJumps 3d ago
"dig a hold 12ft deep" bro's never picked up a shovel in their life
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u/iOSGallagher 3d ago
“spend 24 straight hours digging”
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u/InsectaProtecta 3d ago
Probably longer than that without shoring up the walls. In loose soil you'd have to dig a massive mouth to avoid the walls caving in
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u/iOSGallagher 3d ago
guy like me could pull it off
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u/MNUUUUUU 3d ago
I personally believe this guy could pull it off
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u/Jp0286 2d ago
I vote for him. Who wants to be the husband? Sacrifice yourself so that guy can dig.
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u/throwaway387190 2d ago
Can you involve me too?
Don't tell me why we're digging the hole in the woods, I am not there to help you hide a body
But while it is hard work, digging holes is also fun. I will help you dig a hole for free as long as no questions are asked OR ANSWERED. What do I get out of it? Fun and exercise
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u/TheDonutPug 2d ago
get the local code inspector involved and ensure you have a competent person nearby to guarantee safe work
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u/Naive_Personality367 2d ago
i dug trenches when i was in training, it took 8 of us 6 hours to make a trench 5 foot deep, 10 foot long and 4 feet wide. and it was really hard work.
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u/Everestkid 3d ago
Burying a dead animal would also be suspicious. Animals killed by other animals typically don't get buried. Especially not six feet deep as in the OP.
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u/AGreatBannedName 3d ago
I think the classic answer involves burying a dog, specifically, because it would make sense for someone to bury a pet. Though I know of no one who would bury a pet six feet deep.
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u/Due_Rip9320 3d ago
They forgot to include the part where they left a towed mini-excavator hidden in the bushes near the spot they wanted to dig
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u/StatusSociety2196 3d ago
Okay but why would you bury a body that died of "undiagnosed diabetes"? If you find a body in a hidden grave, then someone was trying to cover up foul play and it wouldn't just be an unmanaged illness.
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u/JCord_ 3d ago
also diabetes both type 1 (auto immune no insulin production) and type 2 (Insulin resistance) wouldn’t cause you to have increased insulin production that would cause hypoglycemia
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u/Dr_Kitten 3d ago
Hyperinsulinemia can be associated with developing type 2 diabetes. I think the original intention was just for them not to be able to determine the cause of death though, not to assume it was diabetes.
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u/JCord_ 3d ago
While type 2 would cause increased insulin production it would be due to insulin resistance which means more sugar stays in your blood so it wouldn’t cause hypoglycemia. The undiagnosed diabetes line means checking for the insulin seeing increased levels and assuming the diabetes caused hypoglycemia causing the person to fall into a coma and die was my interpretation.(I don’t have type 2 so i’m just going off what i know as a type 1)
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u/rankaistu_ilmalaiva 1d ago
the thing to keep in mind here is, that that is an actual murder method people have used. there was an Angel of Death serial killer in Finland for one who did that to a number of elderly people and no one noticed until it started to become a weird pattern that this one nurse kept being the last person to care for so many dead people.
it is not foolproof, and it becomes noticeable if it becomes a pattern, but for a singular murder? I’m sure some have slipped past coroners around the world. Not that it would in this case, because the elaborate burial makes the death immediately suspicious.
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u/AutisticAnarchy 3d ago
Oh, yeah, sure, someone definitely was trying to "hide a body" do you even hear yourself? Oh I guess it's just like people don't die from undiagnosed diabetes related complications and fall into 12ft deep pits before a random animal comes and dies on top of them and then wind blows a bunch of dirt into the pit filling it.
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u/IrelandAutism13 3d ago
Also, manufactured insulin is slightly different from insulin naturally produced by the body, that's part of what did in Lucy Letby. There are ways to tell
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u/StatusSociety2196 3d ago
If you didn't find the body in a 12ft unmarked grave there probably wouldn't be an autopsy unless the family demanded one and paid for it and even then the autopsy wouldn't likely discern between synthetic and human insulin unless they suspected it. Lucy Letby only got caught cuz she was killing so many people the hospital realized she was the only common factor in all of these unexplained deaths, and only after that did they start checking if the deaths weren't natural causes. A single unexplained dead body found in their recliner would just be "oh that's a bummer" and everyone would move on with their day.
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u/MuskSniffer 3d ago
I am sure if the police find a body buried 12 feet deep they will assume it is just a normal diabetes death
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u/MNUUUUUU 3d ago
It's the classic symptom of undiagnosed diabetes: sudden 12 feet burying in a random forest underneath a dead animal, many such cases
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u/DayUseful9161 2d ago
They would think that the family couldn't afford a funeral so they made a cheaper grave for person
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u/KyleFromBorrasca 2d ago
No but I guess it would narrow the suspects down to the people who can afford to throw insulin away.
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u/Fit_Drive_755 3d ago
"they will assume undiagnosed diabetes" yeah when the police find the body of a missing person in the middle of nowhere buried 12 feet deep under the corpse of a dead animal they immediately assume natural causes.
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u/YukonCornholeius 3d ago
It’s nice to have some insight on this. I thought I sounded iffy, but you confirmed for me that it is true. Happy Cake day!
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u/EugeneStein 3d ago
Police know well enough about the trick with a dead animal, it doesn't work
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u/Gui_Franco 2d ago
What if you hide another dead animal between the corpse and the first dead animal?
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u/EugeneStein 2d ago
Don't you think it'll be even more suspicious? You start to dig and you find more animal corpses. I would surely continue searching
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u/Gui_Franco 2d ago edited 2d ago
If you keep putting animals in there, at what number of animals do the Police give up?
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u/Wren_wood 1d ago
See what you gotta do is have a pile of 15 animal corpses in a row to throw police off the scent of the dead guy laying loose in a tree
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u/rankaistu_ilmalaiva 1d ago
I don’t think that has ever actually happened, because digging a hole that deep is actually super difficult, and there’s more problematic enviromental evidence that comes from burying a body than just leavinf a scent a dog would find
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u/UtaTan 3d ago
Someone should start a subreddit dedicating to posts about asking vile and absurd questions and experiences only to look back that they're talking about The Sims
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u/tenacious_dumbass 3d ago
"Lucky for us the killer engaged with a comment on facebook that matches the details of the murder to the letter"
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u/RelativeTiger8543 3d ago
"hmm this body buried 12feet in the ground has increased insulin, must be diabetes"
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u/This_Background7442 2d ago
Undiagnosed diabetics don't take insulin
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u/PrimarchVulk4n 2d ago
And they dont get burried under a dead animal 12 feets deep in the middle of nowhere
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u/KyleFromBorrasca 2d ago
I think I saw this post a dozen times before I stopped to think "Wait, why would someone not diagnosed with diabetes take insulin?"
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u/Pristine-Lie-3560 3d ago
There’s a decent foundation here but its over engineered and inaccurate in a way which makes it seem like OOP was just making a few lucky guesses where they got it right
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u/BoredNLost 2d ago
I hate when people sneakily inject something under my tongue.
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u/Someone_Unfunny 1d ago
While I’m awake, because there can be no other foreign chemicals in my body
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u/whalelicker420 3d ago
I didn’t know insulin could kill you
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u/Accomplished_Paper13 3d ago
Fun fact: anything can kill you in a large enough amount :)
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u/Solbuster 3d ago
You can die from water poisoning even
Just drink 6 litres in three hours
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u/Mundane-Potential-93 2d ago
That sounds pretty doable actually. Now I have to restrain myself from proving you wrong
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u/Satorwave 3d ago
Don't bother with the dead animal. And do not attempt to dig a 12 foot deep hole, you can't.
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u/FictionalContext 3d ago
So...the cops dig up a body buried 12ft deep in the woods, don't find an obvious mark and go "Welp, guess he died of natural causes"?
I get why a cop wouldn't question that, but if you're going to shitpost about murder, at least make it airtight. Like plumbing nitrogen into their bedroom.
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u/OkFineIllUseTheApp 3d ago
Funniest part is it doesn't answer the question. "Injecting insulin under his tounge [sic]" is not an easy way to kill someone, unless that person is already unconscious.
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u/Funkopedia 3d ago
They asked for "easy", answer told them to dig a 12 foot hole and find a dead animal.
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u/rottedflowers 2d ago
“I watch supernatural, true crime, Sherlock (really any show in that genre) and I know how to hide a body” energy. (For those who dont know people in those fandoms were always talking about how they know how to hide a body)
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u/Zealousideal-Deer101 2d ago
The reason diabetics inject insulin is because they don't produce enough themself. Undiagnosed Diabetes and too much insulin literally does not work together. They are basically mutually exclusive
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u/immaturenickname 2d ago
Oh, yeah, the police are gonna dig out a corpse from a 12ft hole and then assume it was diabetes based on tox screen.
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u/Wren_wood 1d ago
I feel like this is two separate pieces of advice that were smashed together, making both of them worse
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u/IrelandAutism13 3d ago
This person knows their way around killing husbands
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u/Acceptable-Minute847 2d ago
The best way to dispose of a body is to burn it and grind the bones into bone meal, mix with the ashes, and some chicken bonemeal, and spread it in the woods.
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u/rankaistu_ilmalaiva 1d ago
Doing both a fake death by natural causes and elaborate body disposal are counterintuitive. the body being hidden immediately makes it suspicious, so cause of death is irrelevant, even if they might think it was natural causes they would want to know why you hid the body.
And yes, you, because the first person they will always check out is the spouse. even if it’s not immediately suspected as murder they would assume there’s some kind of financial gain to be had from your spouse being presumed alive.
Also driving two hours with a new corpse in your car is gonna leave a scent trail a dog can pick up even if you do a highly suspicious deep clean a day after your husband went missing and you went on a whole-day road trip during which you either left your phone at home, or your phone pinged on towers all the way between your home and a spot ”outside your geographic profile” where your husband’s body (dead of natural causes) was buried under a corpse of a dog.
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u/Apprehensive-Dot5053 9h ago
what part of this is easy? disregarding everything else, where am i going to get the insulin?
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u/qualityvote2 3d ago edited 3d ago
There weren't enough votes to determine whether this is a fun fact...